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Thom Yorke
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Goad Part One: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyOE4ER0ALY

God Part Two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCU3iFOnpUI

[Regardless of whatever this thread's title happens to be at the moment, this thread is Thom Yorke's Tips for New Posters]

*This thread has been recreated due to an apparent controversy with the name* idunnolol

I've been noticing quite a few new posters on here lately and I, for one, welcome them. You will soon find that the FFA is full of quite a few angry bastards, like myself, Who will jump at the chance to brand you a failure. That's why I'd like to use this thread to give some tips to all you new posters so we can all have a more harmonious experience. (Tips from other veteran posters would be appreciated).

Okay, here we go

Too lazy to read it all? Listen to it being read by a robot made of boxes! http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/5735757/

Tips

-Lurk This is the most important thing you can possibly do if you hope to become a member of the community here. For your first few trips here just spend some time reading the threads and not posting. Try to learn the language, the memes, and the personalities of the posters. Learn who has the respect of the board (Not me) and who is considered a failure.

-Find an Avatar This one is pretty easy. Finding an original avatar makes me more identifiable as a poster. Posters without avatars are usually considered to be noobs or multi-accounts. The internet is full of amusing pictures to call your own. Just try to avoid stupid jokes.

-Start off Slow So, now you've been lurking long enough to tell the difference between poopoomcgoop and goopgoopmcpoop. That's great! You should still realize that your opinion doesn't matter. The last thing you want to do is go out and make a thread because if it fails, which it probably will, you will most likely be branded a failure. First impressions matter! Go find a thread and contribute, but wait until you feel like you've established yourself before you start posting. Maybe try to piggyback off of an established poster (this is where lurking comes in handy). Don't try to make a name for yourself by attacking other posters though, no matter how much they fail. They're still more established than you and you'll probably just elicit a response of "Who are you?". *Note* Don't go too overboard with the piggybacking or else nobody will take you seriously as a poster. For instance, don't change your name to match the person you are piggybacking

- Listen to your critics If you make a thread and the first response people have to it is something along the lines of "fail", chance are they're right. Stop bumping it and try again.

-Don't feed the troll Is someone saying something so stupid that nobody could possibly agree with them? Chances are they're a troll. Responding to them is only going to get you pissed and make them successful. When in doubt about someone's troll status simply stop replying.

-Beware Tinyurl links Tinyurl has been used in the past to automate GLB. It's a good idea to make sure you trust somebody before you click their tinyurl link.

-Check for spelling and grammar This might seem kinda nit-picky, but spelling and to a lesser extent grammar definitely factor in to how other posters perceive you. Sure, your grammar doesn't need to be perfect, but messing up the basics like "there"'s and "your"'s will just make you look foolish. Also, in an era when Firefox spellchecks everything for you, improper spelling is inexcusable.

-How to add effects to your post To add effects to your post (Such as bold, italics, or underline) simply type [x] where x = the effect you want (U for underline, B for bold, and I for italics). To turn off the effect simply type [/x] where x = the effect you want to end. This will cause everything typed after it to no longer have the effect. Go ahead and try it out by commenting on this thread!

Threads to Avoid
So, now you've established yourself and you're ready to start posting. Make sure your first thread is a good one by avoiding these common shit thread templates.

The Role-Playing Thread FFA Steakhouse, FFA Caffee(sic)shop, etc. The success of the GLB bar has prompted a slue of imitators. No matter how many posts these threads get I can assure you they're NOT popular. People don't like playing make-believe in the FFA. These threads just provide unwanted spam as they are constantly bumped by their makers.

The Attention Whore Thread Anything MCGoose, Recent Oden threads. People here don't care about who you are or where you're from or what you do. Anytime you start a thread with the word "I" in it make sure you evaluate it. We don't want to hear about funny things you do with your friends or your family. We especially don't want to hear about your girlfriend (or lack there of). Finally, we're not here to help you with your problems. Almost any thread about a problem of yours will be mocked mercilessly.

Song Lyrics ThreadWhen the title and first post in a thread consist of copy/pasted song lyrics. Chances are your taste in music sucks and even if it doesn't these kinds of threads are just pointless spam.

Post in this thread every time you ___Post in this thread every time you pee. Pointless spam. If this turns you on go to CPL

Voting Threads FFA Prom King, FFA Hall of Fame (sigh). Despite the best efforts of the OP. Any thread requiring the FFA to vote, ESPECIALLY for something like the best FFAer will invariably fail. Exception: The FFA Ring of Honor is the exception to this rule because it is operated by me and I rock.

FFA Family FFA Family ldo. Been tried many times and failed every time. These threads are inherently stupid and will never be good.

____ 4 Mod Thom Yorke 4 mod. If you want to become a mod PM Pallow and talk to him. Making a thread here won't do anything

Referral links threadsIhatekaty links, centsports, Some of these result in a ban (Ihatekaty) and even the ones that don't are still spam. By the way, do you know where I could go to bet on sports for free?

Starting Your Own Religion Threads Church of _______, ____ology . There are three FFA religions that don't completely fail. Thornology. Rick Blaineology, and The Church of Batrash. If you're interesting in joining any these cults PM me, for CoB. the47X or Chessey for Thornology. PM thecoolest if you want to join Rick Blaineology.


Lingo
You must talk the talk before you can walk the walk.

^5 - High five

\(.o)/ - A guy with crazy eyes shrugging (It's not a vagina damnit!)

0 Replies - To be used when a thread has gone a great deal of time without a a reply from a poster that isn't the thread's creator.

Admin Thorn, Bort, DigitalDaggers . Administrator. People who yell at the mods when they stick their dick in the pudding. Creators of the game.

ALINJ - At Least I'm Not Janine

BigM - A regular FFA poster. People take great relish in creating massive quote pyramids with his name in the middle. Feel free to hop aboard!

Bort - The game's creator. See: Admin

c[_] - Empty care cup. It means nobody cares about what you're posting.

c[▓] - Full care cup. Opposite of empty care cup.

Can I bet on real sports for free? - Usually posted in parts "Can I bet on real sports?" "Is it free?" Usually posted after someone posts a referral link of any kind. It's derived from spammers who advertise for Centsports.

Chat Mods - The lowest of the low on the mod totem pole. Even non-mods garner more respect than these bottom feeders. Only one Chat Mod has ever risen up to respectability: sunshineduck.

CPL - Canadian Pro League

DD - DigitalDaggers. See: Admin

Dogpile on my dick - A meme with no meaning. The proper response to this is to quote it and say "That's not even a meme"

Dotball - The game portion of GLB. Name so because of the silly little dots that run around in the replays.

DT4LOOPTI - A parody of ____4Mod spam. LOOPTI is not a real position. DT is DT35. Usually posted in italics (DT4LOOPTI)

FFA Mod - See: Mods section Have all of the powers of mods except they can only mod in the FFA and they cannot issue bans.

FFA - Free For All. Where you are now

FML - Fuck my life

Free ____ - Free poopoomcgoop, Free Mal A rallying cry that goes out when a poster has been banned for reasons that the FFA deems unjust.

Free Marshy - A popular meme around season 6-7. Rumor has it that Marshy has been freed despite the fact that he was never actually banned.

FTL - For the loss!

FTW - For the win!

FYL - Fuck your life

FYP - Fixed your post

goopgoopmcpoop - The former name of FFA poster Lionsalltheway

HooTEY - A variation on Hooty Hoo!, to only be used two posts after TEY.

Hooty Hoo! - Try to post this immediately under a mod. Makes you 3% cooler each time you succeed. (Or 100% more banned if you do it outside of FFA)

Į(.)₂ - A blind old man waving his cane in anger.

IAH - In all honesty

IMO* - In My Opinion

Inb4 Alternatively: ib4 - Short for "In Before" usually followed by another word such as lock, ban, dick pics, etc. Posting this means you anticipate something to happen to the thread or OP. For example: Inb4lock means that you expect the thread to be locked.

inorite - I know, right?

ITT - In this thread

Jesse - Digital Daggers

JTV - justin.tv A website that hosts webcams. Some FFAers host their own shows, others just go to troll people that do. ( http://goallineblitz.com/game/forum_thread.pl?thread_id=1943138 )

lDO - Like duh, obviously

Lock - When posting is disallowed in a thread by a mod

loldots - Sometimes shortened to just "dots", loldots are anything that has to do with the game portion of GLB. See also: Dotball

lolmod - See: FFA mods Another word for a moderator who only has jurisdiction over certain boards and cannot ban, such as an FFA mod.

lollolmod - See: Chat mods Another word for a moderator who only has jurisdiction over chat channels and cannot ban. The bottom of the mod food chain.

lolsticky - Appropriate response whenever a thread gets stickied

Lurking - Reading threads on a forum without posting.

MCGoose - Former name of FFA Poster LoveGoose. The MC Stands for Miley Cyrus.

Mod - Norsemanvike, Darkus Black, etc Moderator. The people with the funny black letters under their name that yell at you when you stick your dick in the pudding

Norse - Norsemanvike see: mod

OP - Original Poster

Peter - Bort

poopoomcgoop - The former name of FFA poster d3filed.

QF_ - Quote for ____

Snypah - Another game similar to Hooty-Hoo, but this time you are trying to get the first post on a new page.

Spottah - When someone makes the last post on a page so they can set up a Snypah. Note: If you fail at a Snypah, Hooty Hoo, Spottah, etc. Don't bother editing it. People can tell. You'll just look foolish.

srs - Serious

Sticky - When a thread is moved to the top of the page and remains there no matter what. This thread, for instance, is stickied.

STP - Same Time Post

TBH* - To Be Honest

TEY - Thomas Edward Yorke

TEY5MOD - The slogan of Thom Yorke's campaign to be a moderator and a corruption of "___4MOD". What began a joke turned into a serious moderation campaign that had Thom Yorke on the verge of being made an FFA Mod before eventually being shot down by Bort. TEY5MOD is now on the NGTH list in the Suggestions Forum.

Thorne Yoork - The proper way to misspell Thom Yorke

tl;dr - Too long ; didn't read (like this thread amirite?)\

Trolling - When someone posts with the intention of inciting anger.

TT - Trash Talk

TTF - This thread fails

YAFF - You are frequently funny. A great way to show someone that you appreciate their posting.

ಠ_ಠ - The glare / srs eyes. It is very likely that the only reason you will open this thread in the future is so that you can copy and paste this symbol and the other symbols covered above.


*Acceptable substitute for punctuation imo

Former Posters of Note
FFA is a board steeped in history. Many posters have come and gone. Below are a few former posters who have left FFA (Willingly or otherwise) but are still referred to quite a bit.

Hans Hammer - A former FFA poster that has since been banned. Famous for speaking in all caps and for providing such quotes as "I AM REAL HATE MODERATIONERS", AND "NOT SAY THIS". Also see: The OMCW

Herbgiant - Miltown-esque in his penchant for caps and poor syntax, got counter-trolled extremely vigorously and eventually left FFA in a blaze of glory, spamming curse words and writing his infamous "I CAN OUTFOOTBALL ALL OF YOU GAY VIRGIN NERDS" rant.

The OMCW - The One Man Crime Wave. The name Hans Hammer took after his persona was outlawed.

Batrash - Noted for his frequent racist spam and for his anteater related antics. His posting of the phrase "I must feast" was followed by long lines of periods (".") symbolizing ants. Frequently returns to the FFA in multi form. Deity of the Church of Batrash.

Taha19 - Pakistani poster supreme. Notable for selling the FFA Elite, one of the first and best teams dedicated to the FFA, without warning. Frequently racist and held extremely bigoted views. His being disliked by most FFAers resulted in many attacks on his race and religion, a fitting punishment for one of the FFA's more ignorant characters.

Tier - Renowned for having used a phishing website to temporarily hijack the account of the moderator Norsemanvike. Has since been perma-banned and threatened with legal action. Many forget how much of a massive moron he was and instead prefer to focus solely on this one act of badassery.

Tyger - One of the oldest and most successful of all FFA trolls. Known for his very homo-erotic threads that garnered hundreds of replies.

Janine - Disgraced former mod. Known for hating Aborigines and being hated by the FFA. ALINJ!

Mods


Mods that frequent FFA


-Norsemanvike http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=44366

-DrkSandman http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=60840

-drake262 DTD http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=206676

-Ace♠ http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=117



FFA Mods

-Chessey http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=84528

-EViL2uCe http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=766

-Ethaan http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=79810

-FappleJax http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=72875

-Atatakakunai http://goallineblitz.com/game/home.pl?user_id=179670







FFA: A Humble Users Guide

Originally posted by JimVenice Esquire
So lately there are many people who are distressed about the content and quality of this unique place in GLB we call FFA. If you are not distressed, you are more than likely part of the problem. I wanted to start a thread discussing some of the main problems we have here and what we can do to make it a more attractive place for quality posters to hang out. Below are some of my thoughts, and then I welcome all intelligent, thought out input. Let's make a move to make FFA THE forum.

I like to think of Forums as little cities. They have people, they have things to do, and they have crime. The Mods act as a stop gap between the idiots and the users that are genuinely trying to make this a better city.

So what kind of people do we want in our city?
First and foremost, genuine posters who care about the state in which they are living. Spammers are the dregs of this society, always taking and never giving. If you are spamming you should, and will be ostracized and hated. I will no longer be an active participant with any spammers.

What kinds of things do we want to do in our city?
We want good threads with a an open forum for the discussion of ideas and interests. Any useless threads about turtles or trying to get a mod to marry you is rediculous and unwanted. There is no discussion available, only an opportunity to tell you what an idiot you are...and that leads nowhere. PS - No girl responds to PMs asking for "n00d pics nao." FYI.

What crimes make this FFA city deteriorate?
Flamers, spammers, binary, and any thing else stated in the rules that are not followed MOST of the time. We break the rules all the time. And in society there is no spice without "bending the law" once in awhile, but be responsible for your actions. If you do the crime, do the time and shut up about it. You should probably be getting more sun anyway.


OK - now it's your turn. My apologies for the length, but these things must be talked about now to save what we love and care about.

JV


taken without permission from http://goallineblitz.com/game/forum_thread.pl?thread_id=622469 . All credit to JVE. All glory to Thorn.

Yeah I Said It. It Needed To Be Said.

Originally posted by JohnnyDollar
Hello gentle snowflake. If you're reading this, you've wandered into FFA. This is not the place for you. This place is not kind to snowflakes. We will make jokes at your expense. If you are a 30 year old Asian who suffers from Gary Coleman's Disease, we will make fun of you. If you are a racist Muslim extremist, we will make fun of you. If the character in Duck Tales you can relate to the most is Dewey, we will most definetly make fun of you.

If you cannot take this I understand. WE understand. Just GTFO. This is not the place for you. Perhaps you might enjoy GD. You can even wander into the Sports subforum and talk about your second rate baseball team. We don't mind. But don't come to FFA and get upset when we call you out. And we will. Oh we will. So, don't go complaining to a mod because you are precious and wandered into the dog pen. Coming to FFA is like playing "Just the Tip" with your boyfriend. You may only want a little, but you're going to get the whole thing. We both know it. And the mods understand here. They have the whole, "Nah, go ahead and let 'em stick that penny in the light socket. That'll learn 'em good," mentality down.


If you feel this OP relates to someone who could use it, feel free to PM them a link. Let's cut down on precious snowflakes and sensitive feelings.


Taken without permission from http://goallineblitz.com/game/forum_thread.pl?thread_id=3140491 . All credit to JohnnyDollar. All glory to Thorn.


Whotookmybowtie's Tips for New Posters

Originally posted by whotookmybowtie
Oh yeah, here's a list of internet memes to know
It doesn't matter, just go ahead and post it anyways. When you don't know a meme, the more often you repeat it the more likely someone is to believe you do. Now THAT'S a re-run!

See? No fucking clue what that means.

Also a list of mentionable posters in this forum
I don't know of any, so you shouldn't worry about knowing any either. If you see someone's name, say they're awesome and you miss them. If you happen to post someone's name that nobody recognizes, just keep spamming it. They'll get it soon enough.


Hopefully, this can be used as an expanding guide to good posting. I don't consider myself a great poster, but I had a relatively smooth transition from forum noob to someone who is at least known around here. Contributions and suggestions are welcome but please try to keep personal attacks to a minimum. Together we can all stop the spread of Fail-posting. And remember, originality got nobody nowhere. And as somebody, you want to be somewhere.


Taken with permission from http://goallineblitz.com/game/forum_thread.pl?thread_id=2576789 . All credit to whotookmybowtie. All glory to Thorn.


socrforce1's Q & A

Originally posted by socrforce1
socrforce1's Q&A:

Q: How do I post?

A: http://i39.tinypic.com/xlfiw5.jpg

Q: Should I post?

A: Not even once


Originally posted by socrforce1
socrforce1's Q & A:

Q: Why isn't TEY a mod yet?

A: http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/4349/teyr.jpg


Special Thanks

A special thanks to all of the contributors to this thread and to those who have helped to correct errors. Including...

-D3filed
-Darren Sanders
-Do you like wine and parties?
-JVE
-JohnnyDollar
-socrforce1
-sunshineduck
-teejay89
-whotookmybowtie

Special Not Thanks

-Darkus Black

Seriously, screw that guy.

Conclusion

Hopefully, this can be used as an expanding guide to good posting. I don't consider myself a great poster, but I had a relatively smooth transition from forum noob to someone who is at least known around here. Contributions and suggestions are welcome but please try to keep personal attacks to a minimum. Together we can all stop the spread of Fail-posting.

How does one spot fail posting? Here's an example

Originally posted by DrkSandman
Any post by me



For your health

*If you require additional help, consider using http://goallineblitz.com/game/forum_thread.pl?thread_id=2809540

Can keep sticky?

Originally posted by DTreezy
I want a quote in the OP. Make it happen, doesn't have to be real.


http://i512.photobucket.com/albums/t327/ReverendHolland/bardemwonkyeyes.png

-Joe Flacco
Edited by doobas on Feb 24, 2012 02:29:18
Edited by Ace♠ on Oct 13, 2011 10:13:51
Edited by DigitalDaggers on Jun 29, 2011 09:51:07
Edited by r8 on Jun 20, 2011 17:30:44
Edited by Thom Yorke on Mar 23, 2011 02:23:07
 
Weather
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1stest
 
Weather
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Oh, and \(.o)/ on FFA
 
slntkilla
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2nd
 
Forseth89
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tl;dr
Last edited Feb 22, 2009 08:25:21
 
Sciz
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\(.o)/
Edited by Darkus Black on Jan 1, 2010 14:38:33 (LOL Sciz)
 
Thom Yorke
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lolsticky
 
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Originally posted by Thom Yorke
lolsticky


 
Link
 
QFT= Quit F***ing Talking
Edited by MontyX on Aug 1, 2010 11:44:37
 
Forseth89
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Originally posted by alexandenerrogan
Originally posted by Thom Yorke

lolsticky




 
Forseth89
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TTF, but Ib4page2
 
iiiPOD
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if someone says THATS WHAT SHE SAID to my post in teejay's douche thread they can suck a dick
Edited by Chessey on Jan 26, 2011 21:09:42
 
Forseth89
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Originally posted by Termsofuse
Epic. I'm all behind this.


TBH
 
NotMubba
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Originally posted by Thom Yorke


The Role-Playing Thread FFA Steakhouse, FFA Caffee(sic)shop, etc. The success of the GLB bar has prompted a slue of imitators. No matter how many posts these threads get I can assure you they're NOT popular. People don't like playing make-believe in the FFA. These threads just provide unwanted spam as they are constantly bumped by their makers.



What about that time everyone pretended to be old men? Or when everyone was Chinese?
 
bengal in KY
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Originally posted by mart2k8
Originally posted by Thom Yorke



The Role-Playing Thread FFA Steakhouse, FFA Caffee(sic)shop, etc. The success of the GLB bar has prompted a slue of imitators. No matter how many posts these threads get I can assure you they're NOT popular. People don't like playing make-believe in the FFA. These threads just provide unwanted spam as they are constantly bumped by their makers.



What about that time everyone pretended to be old men? Or when everyone was Chinese?


those were examples
Not all of them ldo
 
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