Offence First
Quarterback:
#1 Elvis Presley - Washed Up Rock Stars
I know the Quarterback is always a hot topic for discussion and for A#1 East the situation is no different. I have chosen the Rock Star to be QB for the East for a couple of reasons. Not just the fact that he leads the Conference in Passing TDs, but also due to his lack of a running game, I know #10 in conference in Total Rushing Yards isn’t pathetic but considering his competition for this position had much stronger Running games for defences to plan for he has done well to put up the numbers he has.
Running Back:
Big Red Stomper – Eleven Wise Monkeys
Some of you may think I am biased, and that is fair enough everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, you cannot deny the numbers; 36 Rushing TDs; 2300+ yards; 8.3 Average; and all this while splitting carries with Matt Mond himself a top 10 running back this year. Not only that but he has broken 160 tackles and from estimations that is one of the highest if not the highest amount amongst all running backs. No matter who you are, whatever league you’re in, you must stop Big Red in order to stop the Monkeys.
Full Back:
#44 MC Hammer – Washed Up Rock Stars
Another player from the #5 team, this guy must love former BBB#1 players! You would be right in a sense, but I in no way favour them. This guy has proved that FBs can be used as effective rushers, with over 100 carries, and 8 TDs it is clear he is an integral part of the Rock Stars running attack.
Wide Receivers:
Willie "Hot Wheels" Glaut – Colorado Storm
Now every good team needs a #1 receiver correct? Marvin Harrison at Colts, Moss at Patriots, Owens at Cowboys, and the list goes on. Now this is exactly what the Storm have in Glaut, 15 receiving TDs, more than 3 times their next highest mark; 1193 receiving yards, nearly double that of their next highest, and that’s not to say he is just a slot receiver he is very much a deep threat with an average of 15.3 yards per catch and an average of 4.2 yards after the catch.
Larry Legend – Eleven Wise Monkeys
I’m sorry I have again gone with my own team, but 12 Receiving TDs, 1180 yards, with an average catching distance of 16.6 yards; ladies and gentleman Larry is a big time player. Now I go into this in more detail below but when you look at the Monkeys team leaders, you will see that Larry is clear of all his teammates. He would be an ideal threat to play opposite Willie, and I feel would be similar to a Harrison – Wayne team.
Now you are probably thinking, “Four players, not one of whom players for any of the top three sides, is this many crazy?” And I can explain to you that the main reason the top 3 teams as yet have no players is because they are so well balanced. That is not to say the Monkeys, Rock Stars or Storm aren’t good sides, not by any means, it’s just so far the contenders from the top 3 sides, have all had good production, but so have their backups leading me to believe that they are not so relied upon and therefore aren’t as under pressure as some other players.
Tight End:
Jacob Tiny – NEW YORK STEEL-HEADS
He leads his side and all TEs in Yards and Receptions, with 675.5 and 67 respectively. As with both WRs he is clearly his side’s go-to guy (and yes I guess this is giving a little game planning away, but if you haven’t figured these things out already I would be extremely disappointed) he has also chipped in with 28 pancakes and 33 first downs for his side.
Guards:
Road Graiter – Carolina Hammer
Finally, someone who plays for the current leaders in our conference, this guy does have some sanity. And how could I deny the conference’s leading blocker, with 111 pancakes, a place in this select side? He along with other players on the Hammer O-Line are a major reason why they have been so successful to date allowing on 13 sacks.
Moe Fatness – Colorado Storm
He, along with his brother Joe Fatness, have become two of the most dominate Guards in the Eastern Conference. However, with Graiter taking my top stop only one could make it, and with just 7 more pancakes it would have to be Moe. He, like Graiter, has become an integral part of the Colorado O-Line which has only given up 13 sacks al season.
Tackles:
#69 Luther Vandross – Washed Up Rock Stars
Luther Vandross has spent a third season protecting Elvis Presley’s blind side, man I never thought I would say that. And it has been another successful campaign giving up a league low 5 sacks all season, and what makes it more impressive is the Rock Stars are a pre-dominately pass-happy offence. Oh and did I mention he was second in pancakes?
Mike Petersen – DC Warriors
Yes another player from the top 3, crazy idea right? Well, in Petersen’s case not really, 97 pancakes for him personally and only 7 sacks being given up by the entire line suggest a successful season for the veteran Warrior and a well earned place on my team.
Center:
Ian Maddux – DC Warriors
Now when it comes to selecting a Center things got much tougher, as Pancakes aren’t always key, factors such as muffed snaps etc. come into play. Now the two highest Centers on my rankings are separated by only 2 pancakes, but I have chosen Maddux as he, alongside Petersen has been part of an O-Line to give up just 7 sacks all year
So feel free to complain, or possibly just be nice and say thank you but I think "so and so" should be your starting *blank*.
Quarterback:
#1 Elvis Presley - Washed Up Rock Stars
I know the Quarterback is always a hot topic for discussion and for A#1 East the situation is no different. I have chosen the Rock Star to be QB for the East for a couple of reasons. Not just the fact that he leads the Conference in Passing TDs, but also due to his lack of a running game, I know #10 in conference in Total Rushing Yards isn’t pathetic but considering his competition for this position had much stronger Running games for defences to plan for he has done well to put up the numbers he has.
Running Back:
Big Red Stomper – Eleven Wise Monkeys
Some of you may think I am biased, and that is fair enough everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, you cannot deny the numbers; 36 Rushing TDs; 2300+ yards; 8.3 Average; and all this while splitting carries with Matt Mond himself a top 10 running back this year. Not only that but he has broken 160 tackles and from estimations that is one of the highest if not the highest amount amongst all running backs. No matter who you are, whatever league you’re in, you must stop Big Red in order to stop the Monkeys.
Full Back:
#44 MC Hammer – Washed Up Rock Stars
Another player from the #5 team, this guy must love former BBB#1 players! You would be right in a sense, but I in no way favour them. This guy has proved that FBs can be used as effective rushers, with over 100 carries, and 8 TDs it is clear he is an integral part of the Rock Stars running attack.
Wide Receivers:
Willie "Hot Wheels" Glaut – Colorado Storm
Now every good team needs a #1 receiver correct? Marvin Harrison at Colts, Moss at Patriots, Owens at Cowboys, and the list goes on. Now this is exactly what the Storm have in Glaut, 15 receiving TDs, more than 3 times their next highest mark; 1193 receiving yards, nearly double that of their next highest, and that’s not to say he is just a slot receiver he is very much a deep threat with an average of 15.3 yards per catch and an average of 4.2 yards after the catch.
Larry Legend – Eleven Wise Monkeys
I’m sorry I have again gone with my own team, but 12 Receiving TDs, 1180 yards, with an average catching distance of 16.6 yards; ladies and gentleman Larry is a big time player. Now I go into this in more detail below but when you look at the Monkeys team leaders, you will see that Larry is clear of all his teammates. He would be an ideal threat to play opposite Willie, and I feel would be similar to a Harrison – Wayne team.
Now you are probably thinking, “Four players, not one of whom players for any of the top three sides, is this many crazy?” And I can explain to you that the main reason the top 3 teams as yet have no players is because they are so well balanced. That is not to say the Monkeys, Rock Stars or Storm aren’t good sides, not by any means, it’s just so far the contenders from the top 3 sides, have all had good production, but so have their backups leading me to believe that they are not so relied upon and therefore aren’t as under pressure as some other players.
Tight End:
Jacob Tiny – NEW YORK STEEL-HEADS
He leads his side and all TEs in Yards and Receptions, with 675.5 and 67 respectively. As with both WRs he is clearly his side’s go-to guy (and yes I guess this is giving a little game planning away, but if you haven’t figured these things out already I would be extremely disappointed) he has also chipped in with 28 pancakes and 33 first downs for his side.
Guards:
Road Graiter – Carolina Hammer
Finally, someone who plays for the current leaders in our conference, this guy does have some sanity. And how could I deny the conference’s leading blocker, with 111 pancakes, a place in this select side? He along with other players on the Hammer O-Line are a major reason why they have been so successful to date allowing on 13 sacks.
Moe Fatness – Colorado Storm
He, along with his brother Joe Fatness, have become two of the most dominate Guards in the Eastern Conference. However, with Graiter taking my top stop only one could make it, and with just 7 more pancakes it would have to be Moe. He, like Graiter, has become an integral part of the Colorado O-Line which has only given up 13 sacks al season.
Tackles:
#69 Luther Vandross – Washed Up Rock Stars
Luther Vandross has spent a third season protecting Elvis Presley’s blind side, man I never thought I would say that. And it has been another successful campaign giving up a league low 5 sacks all season, and what makes it more impressive is the Rock Stars are a pre-dominately pass-happy offence. Oh and did I mention he was second in pancakes?
Mike Petersen – DC Warriors
Yes another player from the top 3, crazy idea right? Well, in Petersen’s case not really, 97 pancakes for him personally and only 7 sacks being given up by the entire line suggest a successful season for the veteran Warrior and a well earned place on my team.
Center:
Ian Maddux – DC Warriors
Now when it comes to selecting a Center things got much tougher, as Pancakes aren’t always key, factors such as muffed snaps etc. come into play. Now the two highest Centers on my rankings are separated by only 2 pancakes, but I have chosen Maddux as he, alongside Petersen has been part of an O-Line to give up just 7 sacks all year
So feel free to complain, or possibly just be nice and say thank you but I think "so and so" should be your starting *blank*.
Last edited Sep 1, 2008 17:11:52