Good evening, everyone! How great it is to get Labor Day off, as I'm not rushed by law school to get this to you all! Here's your Zeta Playoff Picture for Week 16! It's all come down to this week: the Zeta/Alpha matchups, to decide everyone's playoff destiny. The four home fields for the first round are set: Bikini Atoll, Christchurch, Dunedin, and Tonga. The 4-5 matchup is set between Tonga and the Horsemen for Week 17. Fuego's likewise locked into 6th. Outside that, nothing's set yet, especially with the 14-1 powerhouses at the top and the congestion from 7th-11th. Uluru, I believe, finally clinches a playoff spot. In the most likely tiebreak scenario (which happens if the Chinese "upset" Easter Island), if 3 teams (Chinese, Cimmeria, and Uluru) finish 8-8, Cimmeria's 2-0 record against the other 2 nets them 7th, while Uluru's win over the Chinese would net them 8th. The Chinese would, again, be the odd man out of the playoffs, even with the amount of talent they have. Mauna Kea drops out this week, as even a win over Vanuatu would have them no better than 10th in their best possible tiebreak (losing to Chinese and Coney Island crushes them). Coney Island likewise falls out, as they likewise lost to Chinese in a Week 2 heartbreaker, setting them up for no better than 10th. What an exciting week this is turning out to be, and considering some of the Alpha draws many teams have on their slate, we've got some VERY good contests coming up. Without further ado, here's each team's individual report!
Games left: 1
Z: clinched home-field throughout the playoffs
Y: clinched 1st-round home playoff game
X: clinched playoff birth
Standings:
1-Y: Bikini Atoll Mushroom Clouds, 14-1
2-Y: Christchurch Knightmares, 14-1
3-Y: Dunedin Wolverines, 14-1
4-Y: Tonga Thunderbirds, 12-3
5-X. The Four Horsemen, 11-4
6-X. El Fuego, 10-5
7-X. Uluru Rockies, 8-7
8. Cimmerian Barbarians, 7-8
9. Chinese Bandits, 7-8
Team scenarios:
1. Bikini Atoll Mushroom Clouds: 1st, 14-1
Outside that Week 1 loss to Dunedin, this team has been impervious to any other attack, and that held true in a 52-21 smashing of Mauna Kea. Speaking of smashings, the Teeth Smashers come to the Atoll for a very interesting contest this week in Alpha; of course, I think Bikini Atoll will win, but would a Thatto Hatto upset be an earth-shaking matter? Win this week, and the #1 seed is theirs, regardless (given the huge number of points they've scored). Lose, and 2nd is likely the best they should do (and perhaps third with a Dunedin "upset"); 3rd would be VERY difficult to attain.
Predicted finish: 15-1, 1st
2. Christchurch Knightmares: 2nd, 14-1
The Knightmares piled up their 10th-straight win this week, punishing Coney Island 55-17. This week, Christchurch travels to Alice Springs for a big Alpha matchup; I have to predict the Knightmares to win, even though the Fire is a solid team in their own right. With a Bikini Atoll loss, Christchurch will wrap up first (due to a head-to-head tiebreaker over Dunedin). Lose, and they'll still likely be 2nd if Dunedin loses this week. 3rd only happens if Dunedin wins, due to the 3-way tiebreaker on points scored AND if Dunedin scores 9 more points than Christchurch this week. Talk about close...
Predicted finish: 15-1, 2nd
3. Dunedin Wolverines: 3rd, 14-1
Make it 9 straight for the Wolverines, who blasted Asau 55-10 in the Zeta finale. In Week 16, the Wolverines roll into Sydney for what I consider to be the most intriguing Alpha matchup; there is nearly equal talent out on the field, but I give Sydney the slightest edge here, even though a Dunedin win really wouldn't surprise me. This is a BIG game, for Dunedin has Christchurch beat in the 3-way tiebreaker, points scored. A high-scoring win just may vault them into 2nd, a loss will put them in 3rd. At least, the Wolverines are in control of their destiny, right?
Predicted finish: 14-2, 3rd
4. Tonga Thunderbirds: 12-3, 4th
Did I say that the Uluru game was going to be tight? It certainly didn't seem that way, as Tonga made a solid statement by pummeling Uluru 59-17. Gainesville travels to Tonga this week for the Alpha game; it appears that Gainesville just will not be much of a match for the Thunderbirds. Tonga has the 4th-seed and the home playoff game wrapped up; this game is inconsequential to the playoff race, but it certainly gives the Thunderbirds to make a statement going in.
Predicted finish: 13-3, 4th
5. The Four Horsemen: 11-4, 5th
The Horsemen rebounded very nicely from their Week 14 defeat, laying the wood to FPQA 45-0. The Horsement travel to South Austrailian this week for the Alpha matchup; even though South Australian has won 2 straight, I think the Horsemen just have too much firepower to succeed here. The rematch with Tonga is already set, as is this 5th playoff spot; this is another one that won't influence the final rankings, but one where the Horsemen could make a BIG statement heading into the playoffs.
Predicted finish: 12-4, 5th
6. El Fuego: 10-5, 6th
Fuego did what it had to do this week, holding off a determined Chinese squad in a 17-12 classic! Fuego hosts Manilla this week in the Alpha showdown, but Fuego should have no trouble with the overmatched Gorillas. As the two teams above them, Fuego has clinched its playoff spot; this outcome is likewise inconsequential to the final rankings, but could serve to make a statement to whichever powerful team they'll face in the 3-6 game.
Predicted finish: 11-5, 6th
7. Uluru Rockies: 7th, 8-7
Well, Uluru certainly wasn't favored against the Thunderbirds, and I'm sure they'd have liked to have done better than the 42-point loss they were served with. Regardless, unless my analysis is wrong (see above), then Uluru has finally clinched a playoff spot! There's no rest for these weary travelers though, since the Rockies go to Molokai this week to face an absolute machine; I can't see Uluru winning that one. The Rockies should finish at .500, which would be enough to get them in if only Cimmeria wins. If the Chinese win too, they still should be fine, as Uluru beat the Chinese 31-16 in Week 10 (and the Chinese lost to Cimmerian, which fails to force the 3-way tiebreak). 8-8 sneaks you all into the playoffs, but barely...
Predicted finish: 8-8, 8th
8. Cimmerian Barbarians: 8th, 7-8
What a difference a week makes! Cimmerian has flown under the radar for quite some time, and they come out smelling like roses on the other side, especially after the 40-9 whipping they laid on Dirty South. The Barbarians have one of the easiest Alpha matchups imaginable this week, as they face winless Origrammar; this should pretty much be a near-lock. Boy, 8-8 sounds SO good, especially after they've beaten BOTH Uluru and Chinese. The Barbarians have certainly shown themselves tough, and I believe they'll be rewarded for it.
Predicted finish: 8-8, 7th
8. Chinese Bandits: 8th, 7-7
Chinese went out last week and fought valiantly, though they dropped a heartbreaker to El Fuego by 5 points. This week, the Bandits roll into Easter Island for the Alpha matchup; I have to favor Easter Island, but this one has some potential of an upset if Chinese plays their best game. However, this week's loss HURT. Contrary to an earlier report, Uluru beat the Chinese in Week 10, and this is likewise crippling to their playoff hopes. They need a Cimmerian loss with their win, and it's just not likely at all.
Predicted finish: 7-9, 9th
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Guys and gal, it's certainly been a pleasure doing these for you this season; I hope they were as enjoyable for you all as they were for me! As always, I mean no disrespect to any team; I just try to be down to earth in calling the games as I see them. Best of luck to everyone this week; let's go out and show some Zeta pride in Week 16!
Games left: 1
Z: clinched home-field throughout the playoffs
Y: clinched 1st-round home playoff game
X: clinched playoff birth
Standings:
1-Y: Bikini Atoll Mushroom Clouds, 14-1
2-Y: Christchurch Knightmares, 14-1
3-Y: Dunedin Wolverines, 14-1
4-Y: Tonga Thunderbirds, 12-3
5-X. The Four Horsemen, 11-4
6-X. El Fuego, 10-5
7-X. Uluru Rockies, 8-7
8. Cimmerian Barbarians, 7-8
9. Chinese Bandits, 7-8
Team scenarios:
1. Bikini Atoll Mushroom Clouds: 1st, 14-1
Outside that Week 1 loss to Dunedin, this team has been impervious to any other attack, and that held true in a 52-21 smashing of Mauna Kea. Speaking of smashings, the Teeth Smashers come to the Atoll for a very interesting contest this week in Alpha; of course, I think Bikini Atoll will win, but would a Thatto Hatto upset be an earth-shaking matter? Win this week, and the #1 seed is theirs, regardless (given the huge number of points they've scored). Lose, and 2nd is likely the best they should do (and perhaps third with a Dunedin "upset"); 3rd would be VERY difficult to attain.
Predicted finish: 15-1, 1st
2. Christchurch Knightmares: 2nd, 14-1
The Knightmares piled up their 10th-straight win this week, punishing Coney Island 55-17. This week, Christchurch travels to Alice Springs for a big Alpha matchup; I have to predict the Knightmares to win, even though the Fire is a solid team in their own right. With a Bikini Atoll loss, Christchurch will wrap up first (due to a head-to-head tiebreaker over Dunedin). Lose, and they'll still likely be 2nd if Dunedin loses this week. 3rd only happens if Dunedin wins, due to the 3-way tiebreaker on points scored AND if Dunedin scores 9 more points than Christchurch this week. Talk about close...
Predicted finish: 15-1, 2nd
3. Dunedin Wolverines: 3rd, 14-1
Make it 9 straight for the Wolverines, who blasted Asau 55-10 in the Zeta finale. In Week 16, the Wolverines roll into Sydney for what I consider to be the most intriguing Alpha matchup; there is nearly equal talent out on the field, but I give Sydney the slightest edge here, even though a Dunedin win really wouldn't surprise me. This is a BIG game, for Dunedin has Christchurch beat in the 3-way tiebreaker, points scored. A high-scoring win just may vault them into 2nd, a loss will put them in 3rd. At least, the Wolverines are in control of their destiny, right?
Predicted finish: 14-2, 3rd
4. Tonga Thunderbirds: 12-3, 4th
Did I say that the Uluru game was going to be tight? It certainly didn't seem that way, as Tonga made a solid statement by pummeling Uluru 59-17. Gainesville travels to Tonga this week for the Alpha game; it appears that Gainesville just will not be much of a match for the Thunderbirds. Tonga has the 4th-seed and the home playoff game wrapped up; this game is inconsequential to the playoff race, but it certainly gives the Thunderbirds to make a statement going in.
Predicted finish: 13-3, 4th
5. The Four Horsemen: 11-4, 5th
The Horsemen rebounded very nicely from their Week 14 defeat, laying the wood to FPQA 45-0. The Horsement travel to South Austrailian this week for the Alpha matchup; even though South Australian has won 2 straight, I think the Horsemen just have too much firepower to succeed here. The rematch with Tonga is already set, as is this 5th playoff spot; this is another one that won't influence the final rankings, but one where the Horsemen could make a BIG statement heading into the playoffs.
Predicted finish: 12-4, 5th
6. El Fuego: 10-5, 6th
Fuego did what it had to do this week, holding off a determined Chinese squad in a 17-12 classic! Fuego hosts Manilla this week in the Alpha showdown, but Fuego should have no trouble with the overmatched Gorillas. As the two teams above them, Fuego has clinched its playoff spot; this outcome is likewise inconsequential to the final rankings, but could serve to make a statement to whichever powerful team they'll face in the 3-6 game.
Predicted finish: 11-5, 6th
7. Uluru Rockies: 7th, 8-7
Well, Uluru certainly wasn't favored against the Thunderbirds, and I'm sure they'd have liked to have done better than the 42-point loss they were served with. Regardless, unless my analysis is wrong (see above), then Uluru has finally clinched a playoff spot! There's no rest for these weary travelers though, since the Rockies go to Molokai this week to face an absolute machine; I can't see Uluru winning that one. The Rockies should finish at .500, which would be enough to get them in if only Cimmeria wins. If the Chinese win too, they still should be fine, as Uluru beat the Chinese 31-16 in Week 10 (and the Chinese lost to Cimmerian, which fails to force the 3-way tiebreak). 8-8 sneaks you all into the playoffs, but barely...
Predicted finish: 8-8, 8th
8. Cimmerian Barbarians: 8th, 7-8
What a difference a week makes! Cimmerian has flown under the radar for quite some time, and they come out smelling like roses on the other side, especially after the 40-9 whipping they laid on Dirty South. The Barbarians have one of the easiest Alpha matchups imaginable this week, as they face winless Origrammar; this should pretty much be a near-lock. Boy, 8-8 sounds SO good, especially after they've beaten BOTH Uluru and Chinese. The Barbarians have certainly shown themselves tough, and I believe they'll be rewarded for it.
Predicted finish: 8-8, 7th
8. Chinese Bandits: 8th, 7-7
Chinese went out last week and fought valiantly, though they dropped a heartbreaker to El Fuego by 5 points. This week, the Bandits roll into Easter Island for the Alpha matchup; I have to favor Easter Island, but this one has some potential of an upset if Chinese plays their best game. However, this week's loss HURT. Contrary to an earlier report, Uluru beat the Chinese in Week 10, and this is likewise crippling to their playoff hopes. They need a Cimmerian loss with their win, and it's just not likely at all.
Predicted finish: 7-9, 9th
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Guys and gal, it's certainly been a pleasure doing these for you this season; I hope they were as enjoyable for you all as they were for me! As always, I mean no disrespect to any team; I just try to be down to earth in calling the games as I see them. Best of luck to everyone this week; let's go out and show some Zeta pride in Week 16!
Last edited Sep 1, 2008 08:20:11
Seriously though hope you can get to safety and it doesn't get to bad there.
