A carefully engineered but utterly useless mathematical formula developed by pygmy marmosets has been applied to GLB teams to give mildly entertaining by not so accurate point spreads. I submit them for you viewing pleasure:
Alpha Games
Perth -2.5 over Wagga Wagga - Perth's potent running is too much for Wagga Wagga, who keeping it close with a successful 2nd half passing attack.
Tonga -25.5 over Aukland - Aukland simply doesn't have the horses to stay close against the raging defense of Alpha Pros' newest arrival.
New England -79.5 over Green Bay - In the battle of "they aren't even from Oceania", look for New England to steam roll a rebuilding Green Bay team.
Canberra -46.5 over Aussie - One of Pro's elite takes the hammer to another rebuilding team. Aussies best chance to keep it close . . . well . . . forfeiting?
East Coast -27.5 over Fiji - The Machine has been accused all off season of underestimating Fiji. This is a good game to prove the Machine wrong. A strong running will be needed to pull off the upset.
Brisbane -159.5 over Dogdandy - yeah, get used to it.
West Scranton -6.5 over Emerald City - West Scranton made a lot of off season changes, and while it will take them a while to reach their full potential, they've got enough horsepower to pull out the early win against Emerald City.
Brantford -27.5 over Newcastle - If Newcastle can get their passing game clicking, they can move the ball, but their defense won't be able to do enough to keep the 'Stangs out of the endzone regularly.
Zeta Games
FFLivewire -61.5 over Great Barrier Reef - FFLivewire looks like an early contended, and GBR doesn't . . . at all. The Sharks will be overwhelmed in the opener.
FFLW -2.5 over Tongan - In a close game between good passing teams, the last team to score wins this game. The Machine says it will be the Champions.
Brisbane Gods -32.5 over Jakarta - Both teams have worked hard to improve in the off season, but look for Brisbane to ride the arm of veteran QB Risto Matley to a big victory.
Rawle -13.5 over Nauru - Rawle's running game gives them the slight edge over Nauru in what should be an exciting game between eventual playoff contending teams.
IC -92.5 over Westpac - Another rebuilding team faces another league power in an ugly spectacle of carnage and chaos.
Vanuatua -49.5 over Saipan - Zeta's most recent promotion makes its debut over a rebuilt Saipan team who look to make a run late in the season, but will struggle out of the gate against elite teams.
Co-Op City -5.5 over Big Island - A rare exciting game in week one has Co-Op exploiting the pass defense of Big Island for the late rally.
Brisbane Heat -9.5 over The U - An early matchup of elite teams, this game really sets the tone for how the season will play out among the upper echelon. In the end, Brisbane's offense is too much for the Canes.
Alpha Games
Perth -2.5 over Wagga Wagga - Perth's potent running is too much for Wagga Wagga, who keeping it close with a successful 2nd half passing attack.
Tonga -25.5 over Aukland - Aukland simply doesn't have the horses to stay close against the raging defense of Alpha Pros' newest arrival.
New England -79.5 over Green Bay - In the battle of "they aren't even from Oceania", look for New England to steam roll a rebuilding Green Bay team.
Canberra -46.5 over Aussie - One of Pro's elite takes the hammer to another rebuilding team. Aussies best chance to keep it close . . . well . . . forfeiting?
East Coast -27.5 over Fiji - The Machine has been accused all off season of underestimating Fiji. This is a good game to prove the Machine wrong. A strong running will be needed to pull off the upset.
Brisbane -159.5 over Dogdandy - yeah, get used to it.
West Scranton -6.5 over Emerald City - West Scranton made a lot of off season changes, and while it will take them a while to reach their full potential, they've got enough horsepower to pull out the early win against Emerald City.
Brantford -27.5 over Newcastle - If Newcastle can get their passing game clicking, they can move the ball, but their defense won't be able to do enough to keep the 'Stangs out of the endzone regularly.
Zeta Games
FFLivewire -61.5 over Great Barrier Reef - FFLivewire looks like an early contended, and GBR doesn't . . . at all. The Sharks will be overwhelmed in the opener.
FFLW -2.5 over Tongan - In a close game between good passing teams, the last team to score wins this game. The Machine says it will be the Champions.
Brisbane Gods -32.5 over Jakarta - Both teams have worked hard to improve in the off season, but look for Brisbane to ride the arm of veteran QB Risto Matley to a big victory.
Rawle -13.5 over Nauru - Rawle's running game gives them the slight edge over Nauru in what should be an exciting game between eventual playoff contending teams.
IC -92.5 over Westpac - Another rebuilding team faces another league power in an ugly spectacle of carnage and chaos.
Vanuatua -49.5 over Saipan - Zeta's most recent promotion makes its debut over a rebuilt Saipan team who look to make a run late in the season, but will struggle out of the gate against elite teams.
Co-Op City -5.5 over Big Island - A rare exciting game in week one has Co-Op exploiting the pass defense of Big Island for the late rally.
Brisbane Heat -9.5 over The U - An early matchup of elite teams, this game really sets the tone for how the season will play out among the upper echelon. In the end, Brisbane's offense is too much for the Canes.
