This may be short as I have a tournament game today and am tired of pretending to care anymore. Again, I don't pick on anyone specifically, all names were changed to protect the innocent (which is why no names where actually change since none of y'all are innocent) and good luck to all! I hate every one of you equally.
This weeks theme song here ---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhzpxjuwZy0
Welcome to the Season 80 Rookie Casual #3 Week 4:
Big Fatty Game of the Week!
Delaware Dragons (2-1) vs Mata-Utu Voodoo (3-0)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TK_FiRm6ZK8
I know, I know... the game in the Voodoo stadium but you can only make fun of Delaware a few times before all both people that live there get pissed off.
The Dragons are coming off a pasting (predicted here first btw!) of the Tacos and are going up against a spunky underdog team of old season 1 and 2 owners. Actual video of our coaches training the 5 D's of Dotball here --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peUyLXrgYZ0
I wish I knew what happened between Tyron and myself... he won't return my calls or texts. Slightly accuse someone of roofie'ing a drink and suddenly they ghost you. Anyway on to the game itself! According to my super correct numbers aka Borts Speak n Spell, the game slightly favors Dragons as they are #1 in Offense and #2 in Defense with a 27 to 24 rating advantage. Game is in Voodoo Mountain Doo Stadium aka House of Pain which may not do anything since it is a fake home field in a fake RNG game. This could go either way but I'm going to go with a overtime win for my Voodoo and ride off blasting this weeks theme song in Tyron's IROC
Linköping Vargar (3-0) vs Las Vegas Outlaws (1-2)
IKEA Wolves vs the Outlaws. On paper this one is a potential blowout but I'm here to tell you... its gonna be a blowout. Vargar are the clear class of RC3 and keep rolling with their delicious meatballs and a side of lingonberry drink.
Off In The Woods (1-2) vs Dumbledore Devil Dots (2-1)
Dumb Dots screwed me last week and then I see the Woods went and did it too. I think maybe it was the masturbation write up got dergillz all hot and bothered? I don't know what to think this week. Every time I think I have the Gay Wizard Devils figured out they go and step it up. No necrophiliac or masturbation talk so I'm going with the Ds for the win!
Taco Tuesday (0-3) vs America Freedom (1-2)
Freedom bleeew it against a CPU team… so of course I’m going with the Freedom to win! Why you ask? Just to piss of the Mystbayne the Tacos owner until he explains why he only created 4 players and didn't just recruit more humans. I swear it must be like the DiVinci code or something… mad genius type level stuff. Personally I believe he might somehow be the key to curing gonnaherpasephalaids, which of course will make me rich and famous for saving all those who have slept with YaDiggs’s mother.
Hattgenstein Zombie Vols (CPU) (1-2) vs Massachusetts Monkey Mafia (CPU) (2-1)
So, this one is tough. Why you ask? Cause the Undead geographically challenged terd burgerlers are playing… duh duh duh duuuuuh… an undead team!!! CPU = Unowned = Dead Team… yeah. Scary. Monkeys win.. mainly cause they are the greatest CPU team in the league and I’m just tired and have very little witty left and am not about to waste it on these guys.
Rooster Boys (1-2) vs New Orleans Gators (1-2)
Cocks vs Dinosaurs who didn't die. The Cajuns can score, they just can't stop anyone else from doing so. I'm gonna say the Cocks stick it in deep, hold on and survive the death roll of the gators!
Speeds Bragging Rights Standings:
Right (10) vs Wrong (8)
This weeks theme song here ---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhzpxjuwZy0
Welcome to the Season 80 Rookie Casual #3 Week 4:
Big Fatty Game of the Week!
Delaware Dragons (2-1) vs Mata-Utu Voodoo (3-0)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TK_FiRm6ZK8
I know, I know... the game in the Voodoo stadium but you can only make fun of Delaware a few times before all both people that live there get pissed off.
The Dragons are coming off a pasting (predicted here first btw!) of the Tacos and are going up against a spunky underdog team of old season 1 and 2 owners. Actual video of our coaches training the 5 D's of Dotball here --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peUyLXrgYZ0
I wish I knew what happened between Tyron and myself... he won't return my calls or texts. Slightly accuse someone of roofie'ing a drink and suddenly they ghost you. Anyway on to the game itself! According to my super correct numbers aka Borts Speak n Spell, the game slightly favors Dragons as they are #1 in Offense and #2 in Defense with a 27 to 24 rating advantage. Game is in Voodoo Mountain Doo Stadium aka House of Pain which may not do anything since it is a fake home field in a fake RNG game. This could go either way but I'm going to go with a overtime win for my Voodoo and ride off blasting this weeks theme song in Tyron's IROC
Linköping Vargar (3-0) vs Las Vegas Outlaws (1-2)
IKEA Wolves vs the Outlaws. On paper this one is a potential blowout but I'm here to tell you... its gonna be a blowout. Vargar are the clear class of RC3 and keep rolling with their delicious meatballs and a side of lingonberry drink.
Off In The Woods (1-2) vs Dumbledore Devil Dots (2-1)
Dumb Dots screwed me last week and then I see the Woods went and did it too. I think maybe it was the masturbation write up got dergillz all hot and bothered? I don't know what to think this week. Every time I think I have the Gay Wizard Devils figured out they go and step it up. No necrophiliac or masturbation talk so I'm going with the Ds for the win!
Taco Tuesday (0-3) vs America Freedom (1-2)
Freedom bleeew it against a CPU team… so of course I’m going with the Freedom to win! Why you ask? Just to piss of the Mystbayne the Tacos owner until he explains why he only created 4 players and didn't just recruit more humans. I swear it must be like the DiVinci code or something… mad genius type level stuff. Personally I believe he might somehow be the key to curing gonnaherpasephalaids, which of course will make me rich and famous for saving all those who have slept with YaDiggs’s mother.
Hattgenstein Zombie Vols (CPU) (1-2) vs Massachusetts Monkey Mafia (CPU) (2-1)
So, this one is tough. Why you ask? Cause the Undead geographically challenged terd burgerlers are playing… duh duh duh duuuuuh… an undead team!!! CPU = Unowned = Dead Team… yeah. Scary. Monkeys win.. mainly cause they are the greatest CPU team in the league and I’m just tired and have very little witty left and am not about to waste it on these guys.
Rooster Boys (1-2) vs New Orleans Gators (1-2)
Cocks vs Dinosaurs who didn't die. The Cajuns can score, they just can't stop anyone else from doing so. I'm gonna say the Cocks stick it in deep, hold on and survive the death roll of the gators!
Speeds Bragging Rights Standings:
Right (10) vs Wrong (8)