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Forum > Regional Minor Leagues > Regis Philbin Elite #1 S72 (plus that awful Hood team)
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Novus
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Alright, roll call!

Adriatic... Adriatic... oh, there you are, slouching in the back of the classroom. Don't even care enough to raise your hand for roll call, huh? Slacker!

All-American... right there in the front row, ready to go. You really don't need to wear a suit-and-tie for this, though.

ECE... oh wait, no, they gave up and dropped out! I can cross them off my list! Thank goodness too, such annoying little brats they were.

Fourth Street... Fourth Street... oh, ther-- OH GEEZ DON'T EAT THE PASTE DON'T EAT THE PASTE!!! STOP!!! Wow, I'm really gonna have to keep an eye on you this season, aren't I? I really don't want to have to explain to your parents how you ended up dying accidentally in my classroom.

Hawaii... STOP THIS INSTANT, young man. Did you think I wasn't going to see you taping that "Kick Me" sign to Palm Bay's back? That's just mean.

Jersey... oh, good grief, there's two of you. Okay, Jersey HighRollers... wait a minute, weren't you supposed to go over to the remedial class this season? I mean, you flunked every test last season. Ah well, I'll do the best I can with you this season.

Jersey Mets... glad to see you back in my classroom this season, but remember... getting the best grades in the remedial class last season doesn't mean you're going to ace this class this season.

Monmouth... you appear to be missing your shoes. Did you leave them behind in the remedial classroom? Go get them real quick.

Montlake... I'm not quite sure how you managed to make every piece of your clothing the exact same shade of purple, and your hair too. Is your underwear purple too? Wait, no, don't show me. I SAID DON'T SHOW ME. I did NOT need to see that. Geez.

New Orleans... oh, good grief, half of your hair has been shaven off and someone drew a goatee on your face with a sharpie. Did you fall asleep in the remedial class while everyone else was still in there? Did Jersey Mets do that to you? I see you snickering, Jersey, you should be ashamed of yourself! New Orleans, go to the bathroom and see if you can clean up your face. Not sure what we're going to do about your hair.

Palm Bay... STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. I don't care if Hawaii taped a Kick Me sign to your back, that doesn't give you the right to do that to Adriatic. Pick on someone your own size. Go ahead. Try to tape that sign to Hawaii's back and see what happens.

Paris... what a delight to see you back here again! I know you hated being in the remedial class in your second season, but what a turnaround you made in your studies when you came back here last season! You might even give Hawaii a run for his money this no, no, I can't say that with a straight face, I'm so sorry. I tried.

Sydney... oh, I think you have something stuck in your teeth there. And my, you have a lot of teeth!

Hood Rich... where's Hood Rich? Has anyone seen Hood Rich? ... Oh, geez, he's outside and his tongue is stuck to the flag pole!!! Did one of you put him up to this? Shame on you! All of you, stay right here!
 
Whiley
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This is hilarious lol
 
ProfessionalKop
Gangstalicious
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Hood Rich... where's Hood Rich? Has anyone seen Hood Rich? ... Oh, geez, he's outside and his tongue is stuck to the flag pole!!! Did one of you put him up to this? Shame on you! All of you, stay right here!


thatdoes sound like something we would do
 
Novus
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I still don't get how New Orleans promoted with an empty roster, 4th Street promoted with a half-empty roster, Jersey HighRollers stayed up here with a partial roster after missing the playoffs, and Hood Rich stayed in #2 despite keeping their roster intact. Bort's sorting hat has been broken since Season 2.
 
Rocky Redskin
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LMAO. We have eyes on our 6!
Edited by Rocky Redskin on Feb 24, 2019 13:44:42
 
Ace
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Lol Adriatic will continue to be a no cares farm team.

We'll take WL titles over lolminors every time.
 
Rocdog21
Sancho
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I'm here to watch my DT 3peat in most hurries. Glad Montlake and Paris are here to help me.
 
Novus
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Originally posted by Rocdog21
I'm here to watch my DT 3peat in most hurries. Glad Montlake and Paris are here to help me.


42 hurries and 7 sacks... not bad. Our starting RDE only had 27 hurries last season. He would've had 39 more hurries, but he accidentally turned those into sacks instead. Them's the breaks, I guess!
 
Novus
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Originally posted by Ace
Lol Adriatic will continue to be a no cares farm.


I've decided not to care that you don't care.
 
Rocdog21
Sancho
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Originally posted by Novus
42 hurries and 7 sacks... not bad. Our starting RDE only had 27 hurries last season. He would've had 39 more hurries, but he accidentally turned those into sacks instead. Them's the breaks, I guess!


That's the difference between DT's and RDE's...43 hurries and 2 sacks with all 3 of your DT's combined...but like you said "Them's the breaks, I guess!"

 
Novus
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Originally posted by Rocdog21
That's the difference between DT's and RDE's...43 hurries and 2 sacks with all 3 of your DT's combined...but like you said "Them's the breaks, I guess!"



Like I said... not bad.
 
gbororats
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I'm pretty sure 4th Street just forgot to resign contracts. Sydney may suck less this season of I have cares. But with hitmen and benitos in WL again this season attention may not be paid here Much.
 
Kaybra
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Hello Gents!!
 
Theo Wizzago
Coyote
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We're so gonna tape somebody inside their locker.
 
Novus
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Season 72, Day -8...

Here's a quick glance at everyone's rosters and effective levels in Elite #1, with Hood Rich thrown in as well for comparison. (Nobody else in League #2 is worth a look.)

Rank Team Players Age Level Value EffLv Salary
1 Montlake Huskies 55 120 42 755.45 47 $2,666,400
2 Jersey Mets 55 120 42 747.03 46 $2,802,720
3 Jersey HighRollers 55 120 42 742.20 46 $2,839,440
4 Sydney Sharks 55 120 42 738.54 46 $2,666,400
5 Paris Smexies 55 120 42 736.04 45 $3,120,960
6 Hood Rich Dotballers 54 120 42 732.30 45 $2,704,440
7 Palm Bay Palookas 55 120 42 731.29 45 $2,666,400
8 {TEAM REDACTED; DOESN'T CARE} 55 120 42 730.50 45 $2,860,000
9 Hawaiian Kings 55 120 42 729.66 45 $4,580,160
10 All-American Crimson Lancers 53 120 42 726.88 44 $5,842,000
11 The 4th Street Gang 55 120 40 722.22 44 $2,804,440
12 MONMOUTH EVIL MONKEYS 54 119 42 718.82 44 $5,185,600
13 New Orleans Jazz Cats 20 82 30 528.41 30 $2,195,960
 
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