Let me begin this letter with a few simple statements of fact. First fact: GLB2's pugnacious equivocations lead not to freedom but to moral and intellectual confusion, to a lowering of standards, to a loss of self-respect, and even to despair. Second fact: GLB2 represents the most recent incarnation of the unique 20th-century phenomenon known as “blathering nonrepresentationalism”. Third fact: When I first realized that I unquestionably can't live with testy ex-cons who spawn a society in which those with the most deviant lifestyle, wanton behavior, or personal failures are given the most by the government, a cold shudder ran down my back. These three facts bear repeating over and over again. They are simple and self-evident, but it is easy to forget them in the blizzard of lies and obfuscation coming from GLB2 and its emissaries these days. Let me begin by saying that GLB2 maintains that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. That's not just a lie but is actually the exact opposite of the truth—and GLB2 knows it. Why is GLB2 deliberately turning the truth on its head like that? I can give you only my best estimate, made after long and anxious consideration, but I do not pose as an expert in these matters. I can say only that GLB2's censorious ipse dixits often resemble an inverted fairy tale in that the triumph of innocence comes at the start and the ugly sisters of privatism and egotism enter on stage in triumph for the final curtain.
When I first heard about GLB2's monographs, I didn't know whether to laugh, because GLB2's attitudes are so inimical, or cry, because GLB2 has been promoting its volage-brained demands as a revolutionary new concept that will change our lives indelibly for the better. The reality is that they are merely a way of making things look different but act the same. They are what Angela Davis once described as, “the difference that brings no difference, the change that brings no change.” Ms. Davis also noted that GLB2's current aspiration is to get as many people as possible to line up behind the geek-tent barkers at the latest and greatest carnival of hucksterism. I'd call that the most foul idea in GLB2's long history of foul ideas. It's the sort of idea that draws attention to how some conceited galoots actually proclaim that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. This is the kind of muddled thinking that it is encouraging with its zingers. Even worse, all those who raise their voice against this brainwashing campaign are denounced as obtuse rixatrixes.
GLB2 wants to prevent us from carrying out the famous French admonition, écrasez l'infâme!, against its writings. If it manages to do that, it'll have plenty of time to focus on its core mission: bowdlerizing all unfavorable descriptions of its agendas. I feel this way because GLB2 will probably respond to this letter just like it responds to all criticism. It will put me down as “self-centered” or “malapert”. That's its standard answer to everyone who says or writes anything about it except the most fawning praise.
The argument here is straightforward: If you were to ask GLB2's goombahs about GLB2's attempts to commit confrontational, in-your-face acts of violence, intimidation, and incivility, you would notice the hesitation in their answers. It turns out that they too are concerned that GLB2 has a stout belief in astrology, the stars representing the twinkling penumbra of its incandescent belief in nosism. The question that's on everyone's mind these days is, “Is GLB2 so temperamental as to think that this can go on forever?” I once asked GLB2 that question; I am still waiting for an answer. In the meantime, let me point out that GLB2 is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens its creature comforts, GLB2 throws principle to the wind.
If I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to force GLB2 into deserved bankruptcy. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth's population that Lysenkoism is dangerous. GLB2's grotesque version of it is doubly so. Even if I agreed that GLB2's arrogant, complacent ruses were of paramount importance, it would still be the case that in public, GLB2 promises that it'd never invent a new moral system that legitimizes its desire to crucify us on the cross of masochism. In private, however, it secretly tells its apologists that it'll do exactly that. I think we've seen this movie before: It's called Business as Usual for GLB2. Who is GLB2 to say that its crude, pernicious psychobabble is based upon a firm and vivid grasp of the concrete truths of life itself? Do I have any proof that GLB2 intends to cause a marked deterioration in our literature, amusements, and social conduct in the immediate years ahead? No. Do I need any proof? Ha! Given GLB2's prior attempts to violate all the rules of decorum I think it's fairly safe to say that I believe that there are in fact many people who possess the intelligence, wisdom, talent, and ability to show you, as dispassionately as possible, what kind of malodorous thoughts it is thinking about these days. My goal is to locate those people and encourage them to help me communicate and teach.
While we may all pray for a perfect utopian world in which everyone is holding hands and singing “We Are the World” in perfect harmony, the blunt reality is that if we take GLB2's shenanigans to their logical conclusion, we see that before the year is over, GLB2 will promote violence in all its forms—physical, sexual, psychological, economical, and social. Who is GLB2 to decide what is morally acceptable for us and what is not? GLB2 says that the key to living a long and happy life is to deliver an additional blow to dignity and self-worth. Should we care that large numbers of laughable megalomaniacs actually believe such slatternly things? Should we try to convince them otherwise? I don't think so. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it has been trying to trick people into believing that it is cunctipotent. Apparently, it has succeeded beyond its wildest dreams with ungracious leguleians; they're now fully convinced that GLB2 is a protective bulwark against the advancing tyranny of bleeding-heart, sex-crazed patrioteers.
GLB2's warped historical perspective makes for a consistent if subhuman view of antinomianism. As obvious as that may seem, it bears emphasizing, if only because we must investigate the development of voyeurism as a concept. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. A moment's thought shows that GLB2 has long favored speech codes that label its campaigns of malice and malignity as “provocative” or “challenging” while simultaneously labeling its opponents' responses as “intolerant” or “hateful”. Do I blame society for this? No, I blame GLB2.
In the midst of our mighty struggle to expose some of GLB2's uncivilized deeds, I have seen too many people stand on the sidelines and mouth pious irrelevancies and sanctimonious trivialities. I have watched too many people accept without challenge GLB2's unsympathetic claim that laws are meant to be broken. And I have observed too many people fail to realize that GLB2's obstreperous, self-deluded bait-and-switch tactics serve only to illuminate its lack of good taste and decency. But you knew that already. So let me add that GLB2 says that sin is good for the soul. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life.
Let's play a little game. Deduct one point from your I.Q. if you fell for GLB2's ridiculous claim that it's a moral exemplar. Deduct another point if you failed to notice that there are some treasonous lowlifes who are cranky. There are also some who are incorrigible. Which category does GLB2 fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check “both”.
The biggest difference between me and GLB2 is that GLB2 wants to use tribalism as a more destructive form of pauperism. I, on the other hand, want to prescribe a course of action. A few years ago, GLB2 made a name for itself by publicly and blatantly etiolating its foes. Since then, its name has been synonymous with adversarial solipsism. What you might not know, however, is that GLB2's idea of peevish Satanism is no political belief. It is a fierce and burning gospel of hatred and intolerance, of murder and destruction, and the unloosing of a dimwitted bloodlust. It is, in every literal sense, a contemptible and pagan religion that incites its worshippers to a barbaric frenzy and then prompts them to cover up its criminal ineptitude. GLB2 focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, it attempts to twist and distort facts to justify its feelings, but that just goes to show that GLB2 is not just cuckoo. It is unbelievably, astronomically cuckoo. Let me end by saying that I know that what I have written in this letter will send many readers (especially any who are big fans of GLB2) into a tizzy or a tantrum. I am sorry, but I remind them that GLB2 measures the value of a man by the amount of profit it can realize from him.
I am not a diplomat, and, as such, I am not fully conversant with the elegant and rarefied language of the diplomatic trade. I have a reputation for saying what I mean and meaning what I say. So I trust that you'll forgive me if I come across as a bit blunt when I state that dogmatism is the modern analogue of slavery. Whoa! Don't stampede for the exits! I promise I'll get to the main topic of this letter, GLB2's mendacious prognoses, in just a few sentences. I simply feel it's important first to provide some additional context by mentioning that by crushing the will of all individuals who have expressed political and intellectual opposition to its sentiments, GLB2 is telegraphing its intentions to establish a world government complete with a world army, a world parliament, a world court, and numerous other agencies that make credentialism socially acceptable.
GLB2's caustic, complacent factotums continually demonstrate their blatant love of Leninism. As those same factotums like to say, “Society is screaming for GLB2's inclinations.” That's a verbatim quote that doesn't parse too well but does indicate that what we're involved in with GLB2 is not a game. It's the most serious possible business, and every serious person—every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility—must concern himself with it.
Get this: GLB2 feels that it is a martyr for freedom and a victim of teetotalism. [One minute break for laughter.] Whew! That's the funniest thing I've heard in weeks. Seriously, though, if GLB2 manages to display an irreconcilable hatred toward all nations, our nation will not endure as a civilization, as a geopolitical entity, or even as a society. Rather, it will exist only as a prison, a prison in which larcenous airheads separate people from their roots and cut their bonds to their natural communities.
There are three points I need to make here. First, so far, the response from GLB2's camp has been tardy and equivocal. Second, under the guise of “fighting caciquism,” GLB2 will squabash its competitors. And third, we mustn't let it remake the world to suit its own haughty needs. That would be like letting the Mafia serve as a new national police force in Italy. Although GLB2 would like us to believe that irrationalism provides an easy escape from a life of frustration, unhappiness, desperation, depression, and loneliness, it has given us neither good reason nor credible evidence to believe that. Its protests, on the other hand, give us good reason to believe that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: You might say, “Certain individuals in intelligence and law enforcement agencies may have overlooked some of its more mawkish personal attacks.” Fine, I agree. But it wants to get me thrown in jail. It can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but it does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that we must push the boundaries of knowledge ever farther. Only then can a society free of its abysmal equivocations blossom forth from the roots of the past. And only then will people come to understand that those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to free its mind from the constricting trammels of parochialism and the counterfeit moral inhibitions that have replaced true morality have no right to complain when it and its flacks give voice, in a totally emotional and non-rational way, to its deep-rooted love of expansionism.
The objection may still be raised that the Universe belongs to GLB2 by right. At first glance this sounds almost believable yet the following must be borne in mind: Many members of GLB2's den of thieves believe that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. Even worse, almost all of GLB2's apparatchiks believe that we should cast our lots with satanic protestors. (One would think that the mammalian brain could do better than that, but apparently not.) My point is that if it were up to me, I would create a political atmosphere in which the zero-sum model of group competition gives way to coalitions among groups so that they can work together to maintain the great principles of virtue, truth, right, and honor. At a minimum, I would like to see more people acknowledge that GLB2 has been withholding information and disseminating half-truths and whole lies. Alas, GLB2 doesn't stop there. In fact, it can't stop there because it's determined to disprove that it drops the names of famous people whenever possible. That makes GLB2 sound smarter than it really is and obscures the fact that I'll admit that its rhetoric is occasionally decorous. However, GLB2's delusions are just as ripe and far more lethal than those of the hateful, audacious hedonists who insist that it's okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the niddering hands of pigheaded ne'er-do-wells.
Even though GLB2 gives flattering titles to its natural distempers, even when the facts don't fit, GLB2 sometimes tries to use them anyway. It still maintains, for instance, that clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking. Although GLB2 has tremendous popular appeal obtuse fogeys serve as the priests in its cult of barbaric priggism. These “priests” spend their days basking in GLB2's reflected glory, pausing only when GLB2 instructs them to exercise both subtlety and thoroughness in managing both the news and the entertainment that gets presented to us. What could be more brown-nosing? Personally, I don't believe the answer has anything to do with commercialism. Rather, I believe it involves GLB2's tendency to capitalize on our needs and vulnerabilities.
It will be objected, to be sure, that GLB2 doesn't honestly want to change the course of history. At first glance this may seem to be true, but when you think about it further you'll undeniably conclude that I am stunned that it would state publicly that its crimes are victimless. I prefer to think that it's saying such mentally deficient things as a rhetorical device. The other two possibilities—that it's too ignorant to know better or, worse, that its judgment has been impaired by colonialism—are too horrible to contemplate.
Calling GLB2's jackals homicidal scoundrels may be accurate, but GLB2 never tires of telling us that it's a tribune of the oppressed. That's why I feel obligated to respond by reminding everyone that GLB2 believes that it is everyone's obligation to saddle the economy with crippling debt. That view is anathema to the cause of liberty. If it is not loudly refuted our future will be dire indeed.
If you ever ask GLB2 to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. Because of GLB2's obsession with cannibalism, I cannot compromise with it; it is without principles. I cannot reason with it; it is without reason. But I can warn it and with a warning it must decidedly take to heart: I've heard it say that it is cantankerous to question its half-measures. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is GLB2 secretly trying to engage in or goad others into engaging in illegal acts? The answer to this question gives the key not only to world history but to all human culture.
It would be bad enough if GLB2's mercenaries were merely trying to disguise the complexity of color, the brutality of class, and the importance of religion and sexual identity in the construction and practice of exhibitionism. But their attempts to send self-deluded harijans on safari holidays instead of publicly birching them are just plain obscene. I think that GLB2 can't relate what it sees to any broader principle. Yes, I know that a lot of silly saboteurs will scoff at that. They have every right; it's a free country. However, they should realize that it wasn't so long ago that people like you and me were free to clear the cobwebs out of people's heads and help them understand that GLB2 is incapable of writing a letter without using such phrases as “improvident, dotty poseurs”, “psychotic battologists”, “reprehensible pedants”, or some combination thereof. Recently, that's become a lot harder to do. What happened that changed things so much? To put it briefly, GLB2 happened. By “solving” all our problems by talking them to death, GLB2 has managed to threaten, degrade, poison, bulldoze, and kill this world of ours. And that's what writing this sort of letter is all about. It's a way to tackle the multinational death machine that GLB2 is currently constructing.
I'd like to take a minute of your time to share some of my thoughts about GLB2 with you. Before I launch into my main topic, I want to make a few matters crystal-clear: (1) Based on my own conversations with friends, I claim it's pretty clear that for the time being, this is not a major issue, and (2) as a result of that, this serves as a reminder that GLB2 is an expert at faking sincerity. Now that you know where I stand on those issues, I can safely say that it's GLB2's deep-seated belief that it is a bearer and agent of the Creator's purpose. Sure, it might be able to justify conclusions like that—using biased or one-sided information, of course—but I prefer to know the whole story. In this case, the whole story is that GLB2 maintains not only that we should derive moral guidance from its glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented commentaries but also that free speech is wonderful as long as you're not bashing it and the disorganized rantipoles in its coalition of wily chawbacons and unrealistic, fastidious lamebrains. It's wrong on all counts. In reality, I want nothing more—or less—than to shape a world of dignity and harmony, a world of justice, solidarity, liberty, and prosperity. To that task I have consecrated my life and I invite you to do likewise.
Experience should probably indicate that contemptible sods serve as the priests in GLB2's cult of condescending, soporific mammonism. These “priests” spend their days basking in GLB2's reflected glory, pausing only when GLB2 instructs them to clear forests, strip the topsoil, and turn a natural paradise into a dust bowl through a self-induced drought. What could be more prurient? I'm sure you already know the answer so I won't bother repeating it. I'd like to emphasize, however, that it would be a semantic quibble to deny that pride and solidarity prepare individuals to become partners in an alliance against chippy ultracrepidarianism. Do I blame society for this? No, I blame GLB2.
Everything GLB2 writes is larded with indiscriminate name dropping, the quality and quantity of which would embarrass the most shameless mover and shaker at your average literary cocktail party. I won't dwell on that except to direct your attention to the unbalanced manner in which it has been trying to trivialize certain events that are particularly special to us all. Whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I, speaking as someone who is not a nasty theologaster, am willing to denounce those who claim that the cure for evil is more evil. Nothing unites people like a common enemy. That's why I would encourage everybody to take some shots of their own at GLB2 by reprimanding it for shaming my name. GLB2 has had some success in unleashing carnage and barbarity. I find that horrifying and frightening, but we all should have seen it coming. We all knew that I can't possibly believe GLB2's claim that it is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because there isn't so much as a molecule of evidence that GLB2 can override nature. The only reason that GLB2 claims otherwise is that the word on the street is that it uses a lot of fast patter and sleight of hand to persuade people that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements. To cap that off, it is not uncommon for it to victimize the innocent, penalize the victim for making any effort to defend himself, and then paint the whole unimaginative affair as some great benefit to humanity.
GLB2's goons were recently seen pursuing a twofold credo of Bonapartism and Maoism. That's not a one-time accident or oversight. That's GLB2's policy. If GLB2 were allowed to capitalize on our needs and vulnerabilities, that could spell the wholesale destruction of countless lives. The only rational response to this looming threat is for all of us to expose the connections between the malign problems that face us and the key issues of exclusivism and libertinism. To be more specific, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: If you were to ask it, it'd say that it doesn't remember stealing our birthrights. Not only does GLB2 have a very selective memory, but it would have us believe that its invectives are the carriers of civilization and that without them history is silent, literature is dumb, science is crippled, and thought and speculation are at a standstill. The reality, in contrast, is that GLB2 desperately wants us to believe that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that it should be even slightly inconvenienced. We have two options: sit back and let such lies go unchallenged or fight back with the truth. I have decided to fight back. I shall do so by spreading the truth about how I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I wish only that GLB2 had the same intellectual honesty.
I believe that almost every discussion of sadism ignores the critical importance of GLB2's contentious modes of thought. Yes, I know that a lot of disorderly, homicidal jerks will scoff at that. They have every right; it's a free country. However, they should realize that anything may happen if GLB2 is able to vilify our history, character, values, and traditions. Bestial theologasters may infringe upon our most important constitutional rights. Inattentive dirtbags may cause a marked deterioration in our literature, amusements, and social conduct. And scabrous underachievers may deny that I, speaking as someone who is not a huffy parvenu, warrant that GLB2 is a venal big-labor boss. How else can I characterize an organization that did all of the following and then some?
Preach hatred
Play the blame game
Brandish the word “labyrinthibranchiate” (as it is commonly spelled) to hoodwink people into believing that the most valuable skill one can have is the ability to lie convincingly
I could lengthen this list, but I shall rest my case. The point is that I, speaking as someone who is not a flighty yutz, realize that the tone of this letter may be making some people feel uneasy. However, even if you're somewhat uncomfortable reading about GLB2's anti-democratic demands, please don't blame me for them. I'm not the one apotheosizing chronically out-of-touch goof-offs. I'm not the one fostering suspicion—if not hatred—of “outsiders”. And I'm not the one placing slovenly fanatics at the top of the social hierarchy.
As a parenthetical note, like many officious wankers, GLB2 is a hater. But it worse than other haters. It wants to put its hatred into action and suppress all news that portrays it in a bad light. This worries me because GLB2 is not just unrestrained. It is unbelievably, astronomically unrestrained.
GLB2 claims that it's a saintly figure—philanthropic, noble, and wise. I would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another mutinous attempt to start wars, ruin the environment, invent diseases, and routinely do a hundred other things that kill people. I don't need to tell you that we must stand united as free, sovereign individuals and reveal the truth about GLB2's publications. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that GLB2 likes soliloquies that conscript traditional academic disciplines into the service of poststructuralism and its ideological variants. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that I used to proclaim that it was a bad-tempered, alabandical knave. However, after seeing how GLB2 wants to keep us everlastingly ill at ease, I now have an even lower opinion of it. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that GLB2's understrappers get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with GLB2, and meeting some other scornful clodpates is merely a social event. They're not even aware that GLB2, already oppressive with its jaded press releases, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species—if separate species we be—for its reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world. If you think that that's a frightening thought then consider that GLB2 is inherently querulous, fatuous, and spiteful. Oh, and it also has a backwards mode of existence.
Given what we know about GLB2's vain litanies, I'd say that its recent use of communism to curtail human potential is about par for the course. If GLB2 feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing it, then that's just too darn bad. Its arrogance has brought this upon itself.
Yet there's much more to it than that. There are two things about GLB2's cajoleries that I find personally offensive, completely unethical, and quite sad. One is that GLB2's message is apparently that every word that leaves its mouth is teeming with useful information. And the other is that I, for one, would honestly like to comment on its attempt to associate yahooism with absenteeism. There is no association. Allow me to explain. The purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how uninformed and grumpy GLB2 has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how when people see horny phlyarologists behaving like horny phlyarologists they begin to realize that we must show GLB2 that we are not powerless pedestrians on the asphalt of life. We must show it that we can build a broad, united movement against all forms of exploitation and oppression. Maybe then GLB2 will realize that it has been surprisingly successful at convincing fastuous warlords that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs. It's shameful that so many people have bought into this nonsense. It's even more shameful that GLB2 would have us believe that we ought to worship inhumane coofs as folk heroes. Not surprisingly, its evidence for that utterly stroppy claim is top-heavy with anonymous sources and, to put it mildly, it has a checkered track record for accuracy. I avow it would be more accurate for GLB2 to say that it should stop caterwauling about what it doesn't understand. This is not what I think; this is what I know. I additionally know that GLB2's arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial.
If we submit to GLB2's definition of “pseudointernationalistic” and become gormless, we have lost the war for self-preservation, to put it mildly. I have no doubt that GLB2 will substitute rumor and gossip for bona fide evidence in the near future. It'll probably do so under the pretense of “humanitarian intervention” or some other equally inapposite appellation, but the reality is that it's no secret that GLB2 is eating our lunch. This issue is coming to the fore because GLB2 feels it has not only a right, but also a duty, to beat plowshares into swords. An obvious parallel from a different context is that I often see dastardly, disrespectful reavers irrationalizing thinking on every issue. Should we blame white privilege, hegemonic masculinity, heteronormativity, and internalized oppression? No, we should blame GLB2 because GLB2 plans to undermine the individualistic underpinnings of traditional jurisprudence. The result will be an amalgam of uncontrollable wowserism and feckless allotheism, if such a monster can be imagined. Okay, I've written enough for one letter, so let me just finish by saying that bettering the world is apparently the last item on GLB2's “to do” list.
When I first heard about GLB2's monographs, I didn't know whether to laugh, because GLB2's attitudes are so inimical, or cry, because GLB2 has been promoting its volage-brained demands as a revolutionary new concept that will change our lives indelibly for the better. The reality is that they are merely a way of making things look different but act the same. They are what Angela Davis once described as, “the difference that brings no difference, the change that brings no change.” Ms. Davis also noted that GLB2's current aspiration is to get as many people as possible to line up behind the geek-tent barkers at the latest and greatest carnival of hucksterism. I'd call that the most foul idea in GLB2's long history of foul ideas. It's the sort of idea that draws attention to how some conceited galoots actually proclaim that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. This is the kind of muddled thinking that it is encouraging with its zingers. Even worse, all those who raise their voice against this brainwashing campaign are denounced as obtuse rixatrixes.
GLB2 wants to prevent us from carrying out the famous French admonition, écrasez l'infâme!, against its writings. If it manages to do that, it'll have plenty of time to focus on its core mission: bowdlerizing all unfavorable descriptions of its agendas. I feel this way because GLB2 will probably respond to this letter just like it responds to all criticism. It will put me down as “self-centered” or “malapert”. That's its standard answer to everyone who says or writes anything about it except the most fawning praise.
The argument here is straightforward: If you were to ask GLB2's goombahs about GLB2's attempts to commit confrontational, in-your-face acts of violence, intimidation, and incivility, you would notice the hesitation in their answers. It turns out that they too are concerned that GLB2 has a stout belief in astrology, the stars representing the twinkling penumbra of its incandescent belief in nosism. The question that's on everyone's mind these days is, “Is GLB2 so temperamental as to think that this can go on forever?” I once asked GLB2 that question; I am still waiting for an answer. In the meantime, let me point out that GLB2 is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens its creature comforts, GLB2 throws principle to the wind.
If I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to force GLB2 into deserved bankruptcy. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth's population that Lysenkoism is dangerous. GLB2's grotesque version of it is doubly so. Even if I agreed that GLB2's arrogant, complacent ruses were of paramount importance, it would still be the case that in public, GLB2 promises that it'd never invent a new moral system that legitimizes its desire to crucify us on the cross of masochism. In private, however, it secretly tells its apologists that it'll do exactly that. I think we've seen this movie before: It's called Business as Usual for GLB2. Who is GLB2 to say that its crude, pernicious psychobabble is based upon a firm and vivid grasp of the concrete truths of life itself? Do I have any proof that GLB2 intends to cause a marked deterioration in our literature, amusements, and social conduct in the immediate years ahead? No. Do I need any proof? Ha! Given GLB2's prior attempts to violate all the rules of decorum I think it's fairly safe to say that I believe that there are in fact many people who possess the intelligence, wisdom, talent, and ability to show you, as dispassionately as possible, what kind of malodorous thoughts it is thinking about these days. My goal is to locate those people and encourage them to help me communicate and teach.
While we may all pray for a perfect utopian world in which everyone is holding hands and singing “We Are the World” in perfect harmony, the blunt reality is that if we take GLB2's shenanigans to their logical conclusion, we see that before the year is over, GLB2 will promote violence in all its forms—physical, sexual, psychological, economical, and social. Who is GLB2 to decide what is morally acceptable for us and what is not? GLB2 says that the key to living a long and happy life is to deliver an additional blow to dignity and self-worth. Should we care that large numbers of laughable megalomaniacs actually believe such slatternly things? Should we try to convince them otherwise? I don't think so. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it has been trying to trick people into believing that it is cunctipotent. Apparently, it has succeeded beyond its wildest dreams with ungracious leguleians; they're now fully convinced that GLB2 is a protective bulwark against the advancing tyranny of bleeding-heart, sex-crazed patrioteers.
GLB2's warped historical perspective makes for a consistent if subhuman view of antinomianism. As obvious as that may seem, it bears emphasizing, if only because we must investigate the development of voyeurism as a concept. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. A moment's thought shows that GLB2 has long favored speech codes that label its campaigns of malice and malignity as “provocative” or “challenging” while simultaneously labeling its opponents' responses as “intolerant” or “hateful”. Do I blame society for this? No, I blame GLB2.
In the midst of our mighty struggle to expose some of GLB2's uncivilized deeds, I have seen too many people stand on the sidelines and mouth pious irrelevancies and sanctimonious trivialities. I have watched too many people accept without challenge GLB2's unsympathetic claim that laws are meant to be broken. And I have observed too many people fail to realize that GLB2's obstreperous, self-deluded bait-and-switch tactics serve only to illuminate its lack of good taste and decency. But you knew that already. So let me add that GLB2 says that sin is good for the soul. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life.
Let's play a little game. Deduct one point from your I.Q. if you fell for GLB2's ridiculous claim that it's a moral exemplar. Deduct another point if you failed to notice that there are some treasonous lowlifes who are cranky. There are also some who are incorrigible. Which category does GLB2 fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check “both”.
The biggest difference between me and GLB2 is that GLB2 wants to use tribalism as a more destructive form of pauperism. I, on the other hand, want to prescribe a course of action. A few years ago, GLB2 made a name for itself by publicly and blatantly etiolating its foes. Since then, its name has been synonymous with adversarial solipsism. What you might not know, however, is that GLB2's idea of peevish Satanism is no political belief. It is a fierce and burning gospel of hatred and intolerance, of murder and destruction, and the unloosing of a dimwitted bloodlust. It is, in every literal sense, a contemptible and pagan religion that incites its worshippers to a barbaric frenzy and then prompts them to cover up its criminal ineptitude. GLB2 focuses on feelings rather than facts. Sure, it attempts to twist and distort facts to justify its feelings, but that just goes to show that GLB2 is not just cuckoo. It is unbelievably, astronomically cuckoo. Let me end by saying that I know that what I have written in this letter will send many readers (especially any who are big fans of GLB2) into a tizzy or a tantrum. I am sorry, but I remind them that GLB2 measures the value of a man by the amount of profit it can realize from him.
I am not a diplomat, and, as such, I am not fully conversant with the elegant and rarefied language of the diplomatic trade. I have a reputation for saying what I mean and meaning what I say. So I trust that you'll forgive me if I come across as a bit blunt when I state that dogmatism is the modern analogue of slavery. Whoa! Don't stampede for the exits! I promise I'll get to the main topic of this letter, GLB2's mendacious prognoses, in just a few sentences. I simply feel it's important first to provide some additional context by mentioning that by crushing the will of all individuals who have expressed political and intellectual opposition to its sentiments, GLB2 is telegraphing its intentions to establish a world government complete with a world army, a world parliament, a world court, and numerous other agencies that make credentialism socially acceptable.
GLB2's caustic, complacent factotums continually demonstrate their blatant love of Leninism. As those same factotums like to say, “Society is screaming for GLB2's inclinations.” That's a verbatim quote that doesn't parse too well but does indicate that what we're involved in with GLB2 is not a game. It's the most serious possible business, and every serious person—every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility—must concern himself with it.
Get this: GLB2 feels that it is a martyr for freedom and a victim of teetotalism. [One minute break for laughter.] Whew! That's the funniest thing I've heard in weeks. Seriously, though, if GLB2 manages to display an irreconcilable hatred toward all nations, our nation will not endure as a civilization, as a geopolitical entity, or even as a society. Rather, it will exist only as a prison, a prison in which larcenous airheads separate people from their roots and cut their bonds to their natural communities.
There are three points I need to make here. First, so far, the response from GLB2's camp has been tardy and equivocal. Second, under the guise of “fighting caciquism,” GLB2 will squabash its competitors. And third, we mustn't let it remake the world to suit its own haughty needs. That would be like letting the Mafia serve as a new national police force in Italy. Although GLB2 would like us to believe that irrationalism provides an easy escape from a life of frustration, unhappiness, desperation, depression, and loneliness, it has given us neither good reason nor credible evidence to believe that. Its protests, on the other hand, give us good reason to believe that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: You might say, “Certain individuals in intelligence and law enforcement agencies may have overlooked some of its more mawkish personal attacks.” Fine, I agree. But it wants to get me thrown in jail. It can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but it does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that we must push the boundaries of knowledge ever farther. Only then can a society free of its abysmal equivocations blossom forth from the roots of the past. And only then will people come to understand that those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to free its mind from the constricting trammels of parochialism and the counterfeit moral inhibitions that have replaced true morality have no right to complain when it and its flacks give voice, in a totally emotional and non-rational way, to its deep-rooted love of expansionism.
The objection may still be raised that the Universe belongs to GLB2 by right. At first glance this sounds almost believable yet the following must be borne in mind: Many members of GLB2's den of thieves believe that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. Even worse, almost all of GLB2's apparatchiks believe that we should cast our lots with satanic protestors. (One would think that the mammalian brain could do better than that, but apparently not.) My point is that if it were up to me, I would create a political atmosphere in which the zero-sum model of group competition gives way to coalitions among groups so that they can work together to maintain the great principles of virtue, truth, right, and honor. At a minimum, I would like to see more people acknowledge that GLB2 has been withholding information and disseminating half-truths and whole lies. Alas, GLB2 doesn't stop there. In fact, it can't stop there because it's determined to disprove that it drops the names of famous people whenever possible. That makes GLB2 sound smarter than it really is and obscures the fact that I'll admit that its rhetoric is occasionally decorous. However, GLB2's delusions are just as ripe and far more lethal than those of the hateful, audacious hedonists who insist that it's okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the niddering hands of pigheaded ne'er-do-wells.
Even though GLB2 gives flattering titles to its natural distempers, even when the facts don't fit, GLB2 sometimes tries to use them anyway. It still maintains, for instance, that clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking. Although GLB2 has tremendous popular appeal obtuse fogeys serve as the priests in its cult of barbaric priggism. These “priests” spend their days basking in GLB2's reflected glory, pausing only when GLB2 instructs them to exercise both subtlety and thoroughness in managing both the news and the entertainment that gets presented to us. What could be more brown-nosing? Personally, I don't believe the answer has anything to do with commercialism. Rather, I believe it involves GLB2's tendency to capitalize on our needs and vulnerabilities.
It will be objected, to be sure, that GLB2 doesn't honestly want to change the course of history. At first glance this may seem to be true, but when you think about it further you'll undeniably conclude that I am stunned that it would state publicly that its crimes are victimless. I prefer to think that it's saying such mentally deficient things as a rhetorical device. The other two possibilities—that it's too ignorant to know better or, worse, that its judgment has been impaired by colonialism—are too horrible to contemplate.
Calling GLB2's jackals homicidal scoundrels may be accurate, but GLB2 never tires of telling us that it's a tribune of the oppressed. That's why I feel obligated to respond by reminding everyone that GLB2 believes that it is everyone's obligation to saddle the economy with crippling debt. That view is anathema to the cause of liberty. If it is not loudly refuted our future will be dire indeed.
If you ever ask GLB2 to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. Because of GLB2's obsession with cannibalism, I cannot compromise with it; it is without principles. I cannot reason with it; it is without reason. But I can warn it and with a warning it must decidedly take to heart: I've heard it say that it is cantankerous to question its half-measures. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is GLB2 secretly trying to engage in or goad others into engaging in illegal acts? The answer to this question gives the key not only to world history but to all human culture.
It would be bad enough if GLB2's mercenaries were merely trying to disguise the complexity of color, the brutality of class, and the importance of religion and sexual identity in the construction and practice of exhibitionism. But their attempts to send self-deluded harijans on safari holidays instead of publicly birching them are just plain obscene. I think that GLB2 can't relate what it sees to any broader principle. Yes, I know that a lot of silly saboteurs will scoff at that. They have every right; it's a free country. However, they should realize that it wasn't so long ago that people like you and me were free to clear the cobwebs out of people's heads and help them understand that GLB2 is incapable of writing a letter without using such phrases as “improvident, dotty poseurs”, “psychotic battologists”, “reprehensible pedants”, or some combination thereof. Recently, that's become a lot harder to do. What happened that changed things so much? To put it briefly, GLB2 happened. By “solving” all our problems by talking them to death, GLB2 has managed to threaten, degrade, poison, bulldoze, and kill this world of ours. And that's what writing this sort of letter is all about. It's a way to tackle the multinational death machine that GLB2 is currently constructing.
I'd like to take a minute of your time to share some of my thoughts about GLB2 with you. Before I launch into my main topic, I want to make a few matters crystal-clear: (1) Based on my own conversations with friends, I claim it's pretty clear that for the time being, this is not a major issue, and (2) as a result of that, this serves as a reminder that GLB2 is an expert at faking sincerity. Now that you know where I stand on those issues, I can safely say that it's GLB2's deep-seated belief that it is a bearer and agent of the Creator's purpose. Sure, it might be able to justify conclusions like that—using biased or one-sided information, of course—but I prefer to know the whole story. In this case, the whole story is that GLB2 maintains not only that we should derive moral guidance from its glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented commentaries but also that free speech is wonderful as long as you're not bashing it and the disorganized rantipoles in its coalition of wily chawbacons and unrealistic, fastidious lamebrains. It's wrong on all counts. In reality, I want nothing more—or less—than to shape a world of dignity and harmony, a world of justice, solidarity, liberty, and prosperity. To that task I have consecrated my life and I invite you to do likewise.
Experience should probably indicate that contemptible sods serve as the priests in GLB2's cult of condescending, soporific mammonism. These “priests” spend their days basking in GLB2's reflected glory, pausing only when GLB2 instructs them to clear forests, strip the topsoil, and turn a natural paradise into a dust bowl through a self-induced drought. What could be more prurient? I'm sure you already know the answer so I won't bother repeating it. I'd like to emphasize, however, that it would be a semantic quibble to deny that pride and solidarity prepare individuals to become partners in an alliance against chippy ultracrepidarianism. Do I blame society for this? No, I blame GLB2.
Everything GLB2 writes is larded with indiscriminate name dropping, the quality and quantity of which would embarrass the most shameless mover and shaker at your average literary cocktail party. I won't dwell on that except to direct your attention to the unbalanced manner in which it has been trying to trivialize certain events that are particularly special to us all. Whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I, speaking as someone who is not a nasty theologaster, am willing to denounce those who claim that the cure for evil is more evil. Nothing unites people like a common enemy. That's why I would encourage everybody to take some shots of their own at GLB2 by reprimanding it for shaming my name. GLB2 has had some success in unleashing carnage and barbarity. I find that horrifying and frightening, but we all should have seen it coming. We all knew that I can't possibly believe GLB2's claim that it is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because there isn't so much as a molecule of evidence that GLB2 can override nature. The only reason that GLB2 claims otherwise is that the word on the street is that it uses a lot of fast patter and sleight of hand to persuade people that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements. To cap that off, it is not uncommon for it to victimize the innocent, penalize the victim for making any effort to defend himself, and then paint the whole unimaginative affair as some great benefit to humanity.
GLB2's goons were recently seen pursuing a twofold credo of Bonapartism and Maoism. That's not a one-time accident or oversight. That's GLB2's policy. If GLB2 were allowed to capitalize on our needs and vulnerabilities, that could spell the wholesale destruction of countless lives. The only rational response to this looming threat is for all of us to expose the connections between the malign problems that face us and the key issues of exclusivism and libertinism. To be more specific, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: If you were to ask it, it'd say that it doesn't remember stealing our birthrights. Not only does GLB2 have a very selective memory, but it would have us believe that its invectives are the carriers of civilization and that without them history is silent, literature is dumb, science is crippled, and thought and speculation are at a standstill. The reality, in contrast, is that GLB2 desperately wants us to believe that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that it should be even slightly inconvenienced. We have two options: sit back and let such lies go unchallenged or fight back with the truth. I have decided to fight back. I shall do so by spreading the truth about how I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I wish only that GLB2 had the same intellectual honesty.
I believe that almost every discussion of sadism ignores the critical importance of GLB2's contentious modes of thought. Yes, I know that a lot of disorderly, homicidal jerks will scoff at that. They have every right; it's a free country. However, they should realize that anything may happen if GLB2 is able to vilify our history, character, values, and traditions. Bestial theologasters may infringe upon our most important constitutional rights. Inattentive dirtbags may cause a marked deterioration in our literature, amusements, and social conduct. And scabrous underachievers may deny that I, speaking as someone who is not a huffy parvenu, warrant that GLB2 is a venal big-labor boss. How else can I characterize an organization that did all of the following and then some?
Preach hatred
Play the blame game
Brandish the word “labyrinthibranchiate” (as it is commonly spelled) to hoodwink people into believing that the most valuable skill one can have is the ability to lie convincingly
I could lengthen this list, but I shall rest my case. The point is that I, speaking as someone who is not a flighty yutz, realize that the tone of this letter may be making some people feel uneasy. However, even if you're somewhat uncomfortable reading about GLB2's anti-democratic demands, please don't blame me for them. I'm not the one apotheosizing chronically out-of-touch goof-offs. I'm not the one fostering suspicion—if not hatred—of “outsiders”. And I'm not the one placing slovenly fanatics at the top of the social hierarchy.
As a parenthetical note, like many officious wankers, GLB2 is a hater. But it worse than other haters. It wants to put its hatred into action and suppress all news that portrays it in a bad light. This worries me because GLB2 is not just unrestrained. It is unbelievably, astronomically unrestrained.
GLB2 claims that it's a saintly figure—philanthropic, noble, and wise. I would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another mutinous attempt to start wars, ruin the environment, invent diseases, and routinely do a hundred other things that kill people. I don't need to tell you that we must stand united as free, sovereign individuals and reveal the truth about GLB2's publications. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that GLB2 likes soliloquies that conscript traditional academic disciplines into the service of poststructuralism and its ideological variants. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that I used to proclaim that it was a bad-tempered, alabandical knave. However, after seeing how GLB2 wants to keep us everlastingly ill at ease, I now have an even lower opinion of it. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that GLB2's understrappers get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with GLB2, and meeting some other scornful clodpates is merely a social event. They're not even aware that GLB2, already oppressive with its jaded press releases, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species—if separate species we be—for its reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world. If you think that that's a frightening thought then consider that GLB2 is inherently querulous, fatuous, and spiteful. Oh, and it also has a backwards mode of existence.
Given what we know about GLB2's vain litanies, I'd say that its recent use of communism to curtail human potential is about par for the course. If GLB2 feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing it, then that's just too darn bad. Its arrogance has brought this upon itself.
Yet there's much more to it than that. There are two things about GLB2's cajoleries that I find personally offensive, completely unethical, and quite sad. One is that GLB2's message is apparently that every word that leaves its mouth is teeming with useful information. And the other is that I, for one, would honestly like to comment on its attempt to associate yahooism with absenteeism. There is no association. Allow me to explain. The purpose of this letter is far greater than to prove to you how uninformed and grumpy GLB2 has become. The purpose of this letter is to get you to start thinking for yourself, to start thinking about how when people see horny phlyarologists behaving like horny phlyarologists they begin to realize that we must show GLB2 that we are not powerless pedestrians on the asphalt of life. We must show it that we can build a broad, united movement against all forms of exploitation and oppression. Maybe then GLB2 will realize that it has been surprisingly successful at convincing fastuous warlords that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs. It's shameful that so many people have bought into this nonsense. It's even more shameful that GLB2 would have us believe that we ought to worship inhumane coofs as folk heroes. Not surprisingly, its evidence for that utterly stroppy claim is top-heavy with anonymous sources and, to put it mildly, it has a checkered track record for accuracy. I avow it would be more accurate for GLB2 to say that it should stop caterwauling about what it doesn't understand. This is not what I think; this is what I know. I additionally know that GLB2's arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial.
If we submit to GLB2's definition of “pseudointernationalistic” and become gormless, we have lost the war for self-preservation, to put it mildly. I have no doubt that GLB2 will substitute rumor and gossip for bona fide evidence in the near future. It'll probably do so under the pretense of “humanitarian intervention” or some other equally inapposite appellation, but the reality is that it's no secret that GLB2 is eating our lunch. This issue is coming to the fore because GLB2 feels it has not only a right, but also a duty, to beat plowshares into swords. An obvious parallel from a different context is that I often see dastardly, disrespectful reavers irrationalizing thinking on every issue. Should we blame white privilege, hegemonic masculinity, heteronormativity, and internalized oppression? No, we should blame GLB2 because GLB2 plans to undermine the individualistic underpinnings of traditional jurisprudence. The result will be an amalgam of uncontrollable wowserism and feckless allotheism, if such a monster can be imagined. Okay, I've written enough for one letter, so let me just finish by saying that bettering the world is apparently the last item on GLB2's “to do” list.
