On paper, this one looks like a blowout, but let's break it down and see what's underneath.
Ducks Passing vs. Thrasher's secondary
It's ugly, very ugly, actually, since this is the Thrasher's best match up on defense. You heard it, their best. It starts looking at the defense with a only a single playmaker in the bunch, Speedy McBullet (lvl 9). Normally a lockdown, reliable corner, he's completely outclassed by the Ducks dominating wideout Spaz Arant (14). After Speedy, the rest of the secondary is questionable to even be allowed to wear cleats. WR The Corner Killa (13) and TE Shaney Harvey (11), no relation to Paul, will be easy targets for rising youg QB Danny Jay.
Quick side note on Jay, he's looking to prove that he history of intercepts is a thing of the past. Case of a good quarterback on a bad team. Needs to keep the completion percentage up and the INT's down to make me a believer.
Ducks Rushing vs. Thrashers Front Seven
Line up the syrup, it's gonna look like IHOP down there. The Ducks have talent, but not a lot of experience working for them on the offensive line. The value strength and athleticism over the standard fatboys, as is clear with the tandum tackles Orlando "Brickwall" Pace (90 and Lamar Pacer (7) who combine for a svelt 558 pounds of qb insurance and dry cleaning prevention.
Now when the Ducks decide to power it up the gut, they're guaranteed yards behind their certified road graders Rabbit Hutch (9) and LG Bulldozer McGruff (7). Papa Truck (5) C has been doing a great job making calls on the line. The starter Day, hasn't gotten his jersey dirty once all season.
Why Haven't I taked about the Thrasher's d-line and linebackers yet? Because they're already looking through the Help Wanted ads in the paper. They know the don't belong on the field and are just going through the motions. The single player of merit is LOLB Deshaun Barber (6). Don't be surprised to see Deshaun clean up a lot of plays, making good tackles, but nothing to hurt the Ducks ground game. He'll turn possible break aways into 12 yard gains, not enough to stem the blowout.
Now comes the gravy. The Ducks running back one two punch of Devin Gunter (10) and Felix McFadden (13) give them one of the most explosive RB duos in the league. Don't forget to factor in the running brickwall they got at FB, called Riggens Chunk (15), and you know the first 4 yards are free.
Thrashers Passing vs. Ducks Secondary
Start at the top with Thrasher's superstar at WR, Braylon Jackson (11). Normally a sure thing on a dig, or skinny post, tonight will be a shocker. Ducks corner DJ Wolf has been locking down opposing wideouts all season and expect the same here. Jackson is outclassed, but still their best hope for success passing the ball. The difference in talent is even more glaring when you look on the other side to see fledgling WR Terrell Moore (3) lined up against a solid corner in Ryan Klm (8). Checking down to the TE is looking like an option, think again. FS Grant Governer (8) and SS Ronnie Latte (9) will be waiting to cherry pick any prayers sent his way. IN the event they're guarding back against the longball, LOLB Frank Widowmaker (14) will be waiting. Not a good thing to have waiting for you...
While Thrasher's QB Jacob R Hartwig (7) has a lot of promise. This will be one of his darker games. The passing game is completely outmatched by the secondary. Not to mention what's trying to get at him while in the pocket!
Thrasher's Rushing vs. Ducks Front Seven
It all starts up front, and that's where it ends for the Thrashers. Another load of bums looking for work next week, don't list this game as a reference fellas. The only lineman with any promise is rookie Whiskey Adams (2), but he way to inexperienced and still developing so expect little out of him this game.
The defensive line is hungry because the signs are there for a possible for a record setting game. NT Inyourface Man (11) and DT Bret Eddins (11) will be moving in a straight line back towards the QB. Expect little slow down or resistance from the interior o-line, their hearts aren't in it and their best years are behind them. On the outside, DE's Jake Spann (10) and Carl Spackler Jr. (9) will be buzzing past the OT's to hurry and harass QB Hartwig, or devour any slow developing running play. Odds are, Thrasher's RB DeMetrius Colvin (8), will go down at the slightest contact because of what's behind the d-line. James Willis (10), Jeremiah "Axeman" Trotter (16), and the previously mentioned Widowmaker combine for one of the nstiest linebacking corp. in the league. I predict not a single run over 5 yards because Colvin will slide before getting wrecked by one of these brutes. FB Dhani Fitzgerald (2) is likely a non-factor due to his inexperience.
Kicker vs. Kicker
Ducks Black Havate (9) has a slight edge over Thrasher's Teyshaun Buckhalter (7), but it's a non-issue. The Duck's aren't going to be kicking fieldgoals, they'll kick extra points. Thrasher's might not even sniff the other side of the 50, so Buckhalter is likely on the pine all night.
Punter vs. Punter
Duck's punter Nikolai Urukoslav (12) is the superior punter over Thrasher's Rondo Williams (8). Like the kicker's it's a dead issue since the Duck's are unlikely to punt, and the Thrasher's will be obsessive compulsive in punting.
None of the starters could be reached for comment, I guess despite the upcoming blowout, the coach has them in full blown "game on" mode. We were able to snag back up NT Loki Korgen (5) to get his thoughts, as he walked into the locker room to get ready for the game. He left me with a quote to pass on to the Thrasher's team, from Ween's song "It's Gonna be a Long Night".
"don't call your mother - don't call your priest
don't call your doctor - call the police
you bring the razor blade - I'll bring the speed
Take off your coat - it's gonna be a long night"
so very, very true.
Ducks Passing vs. Thrasher's secondary
It's ugly, very ugly, actually, since this is the Thrasher's best match up on defense. You heard it, their best. It starts looking at the defense with a only a single playmaker in the bunch, Speedy McBullet (lvl 9). Normally a lockdown, reliable corner, he's completely outclassed by the Ducks dominating wideout Spaz Arant (14). After Speedy, the rest of the secondary is questionable to even be allowed to wear cleats. WR The Corner Killa (13) and TE Shaney Harvey (11), no relation to Paul, will be easy targets for rising youg QB Danny Jay.
Quick side note on Jay, he's looking to prove that he history of intercepts is a thing of the past. Case of a good quarterback on a bad team. Needs to keep the completion percentage up and the INT's down to make me a believer.
Ducks Rushing vs. Thrashers Front Seven
Line up the syrup, it's gonna look like IHOP down there. The Ducks have talent, but not a lot of experience working for them on the offensive line. The value strength and athleticism over the standard fatboys, as is clear with the tandum tackles Orlando "Brickwall" Pace (90 and Lamar Pacer (7) who combine for a svelt 558 pounds of qb insurance and dry cleaning prevention.
Now when the Ducks decide to power it up the gut, they're guaranteed yards behind their certified road graders Rabbit Hutch (9) and LG Bulldozer McGruff (7). Papa Truck (5) C has been doing a great job making calls on the line. The starter Day, hasn't gotten his jersey dirty once all season.
Why Haven't I taked about the Thrasher's d-line and linebackers yet? Because they're already looking through the Help Wanted ads in the paper. They know the don't belong on the field and are just going through the motions. The single player of merit is LOLB Deshaun Barber (6). Don't be surprised to see Deshaun clean up a lot of plays, making good tackles, but nothing to hurt the Ducks ground game. He'll turn possible break aways into 12 yard gains, not enough to stem the blowout.
Now comes the gravy. The Ducks running back one two punch of Devin Gunter (10) and Felix McFadden (13) give them one of the most explosive RB duos in the league. Don't forget to factor in the running brickwall they got at FB, called Riggens Chunk (15), and you know the first 4 yards are free.
Thrashers Passing vs. Ducks Secondary
Start at the top with Thrasher's superstar at WR, Braylon Jackson (11). Normally a sure thing on a dig, or skinny post, tonight will be a shocker. Ducks corner DJ Wolf has been locking down opposing wideouts all season and expect the same here. Jackson is outclassed, but still their best hope for success passing the ball. The difference in talent is even more glaring when you look on the other side to see fledgling WR Terrell Moore (3) lined up against a solid corner in Ryan Klm (8). Checking down to the TE is looking like an option, think again. FS Grant Governer (8) and SS Ronnie Latte (9) will be waiting to cherry pick any prayers sent his way. IN the event they're guarding back against the longball, LOLB Frank Widowmaker (14) will be waiting. Not a good thing to have waiting for you...
While Thrasher's QB Jacob R Hartwig (7) has a lot of promise. This will be one of his darker games. The passing game is completely outmatched by the secondary. Not to mention what's trying to get at him while in the pocket!
Thrasher's Rushing vs. Ducks Front Seven
It all starts up front, and that's where it ends for the Thrashers. Another load of bums looking for work next week, don't list this game as a reference fellas. The only lineman with any promise is rookie Whiskey Adams (2), but he way to inexperienced and still developing so expect little out of him this game.
The defensive line is hungry because the signs are there for a possible for a record setting game. NT Inyourface Man (11) and DT Bret Eddins (11) will be moving in a straight line back towards the QB. Expect little slow down or resistance from the interior o-line, their hearts aren't in it and their best years are behind them. On the outside, DE's Jake Spann (10) and Carl Spackler Jr. (9) will be buzzing past the OT's to hurry and harass QB Hartwig, or devour any slow developing running play. Odds are, Thrasher's RB DeMetrius Colvin (8), will go down at the slightest contact because of what's behind the d-line. James Willis (10), Jeremiah "Axeman" Trotter (16), and the previously mentioned Widowmaker combine for one of the nstiest linebacking corp. in the league. I predict not a single run over 5 yards because Colvin will slide before getting wrecked by one of these brutes. FB Dhani Fitzgerald (2) is likely a non-factor due to his inexperience.
Kicker vs. Kicker
Ducks Black Havate (9) has a slight edge over Thrasher's Teyshaun Buckhalter (7), but it's a non-issue. The Duck's aren't going to be kicking fieldgoals, they'll kick extra points. Thrasher's might not even sniff the other side of the 50, so Buckhalter is likely on the pine all night.
Punter vs. Punter
Duck's punter Nikolai Urukoslav (12) is the superior punter over Thrasher's Rondo Williams (8). Like the kicker's it's a dead issue since the Duck's are unlikely to punt, and the Thrasher's will be obsessive compulsive in punting.
None of the starters could be reached for comment, I guess despite the upcoming blowout, the coach has them in full blown "game on" mode. We were able to snag back up NT Loki Korgen (5) to get his thoughts, as he walked into the locker room to get ready for the game. He left me with a quote to pass on to the Thrasher's team, from Ween's song "It's Gonna be a Long Night".
"don't call your mother - don't call your priest
don't call your doctor - call the police
you bring the razor blade - I'll bring the speed
Take off your coat - it's gonna be a long night"
so very, very true.
