Warrior General Games

Madden has had some stuff come up - and as a result he is out of pocket for an indefinite amount of time (I'm not sure what's going on to be honest).

So - I thought it might be fun -- if each of us picks a game and tries to do (all in good fun of course) our absolute best Madden impression. Who is in? This is in good fun. I'm saying "say horrendous things about each other" - but we aren't going to get upset about it. Think of this as a tribute to our MIA friend maddencoach.

Matchups are:

Paris vs Buffalo

Colorado Springs vs Lapaz

EEA vs Fusion

LUE vs Minnesota

Rare Breed vs Gangsta

Hippos vs Nebraska


So - pick a game - it doesn't have to be yours - and let loose your inner madden. I'll be back to do one in a bit.

Originally posted by TxSteve


Hippos vs Nebraska


So - pick a game - it doesn't have to be yours - and let loose your inner madden. I'll be back to do one in a bit.

what a shit shoot, shat shoot, big waste of time game. Green and Gale will have these defenders whiffing so much they will inhale the big odeous stench of the shart from those too laughing so hard on their way by. when the shit clears Big old ball busten and cock themping Benning will come in so hard in the ass they will be shitting spit and spitting shit for the rest of the season... The offense, the qb of the hippos is going to be staring outside of his ear hole so often that he's going to go blind from getting poked in the eye so damn much from Octavious Mcfarlanes BiG... finger... yeah finger.. the end Neb wins 130-7.

that was awesome viper. brings a tear to my eye

Lue vs Minn

Prolly the game of the week as the 2 power houses from Beta will go at in once again. After last seasons raping at the hands of the Stunners, Lue has grabbed the lube and said "not this time, we will not get rapped with our pants up again." However much inspiration Lue can stir up for this game, it will be as disappointing for them as waiting for your new born baby to arrive only to find its of a different race But we will see if Lue has managed to gain some of the much needed peices this off season to slow down the high powered offense of the Stunners. Or maybe Lue has a secret weapon waiting to be revealed. Whatever the case, Lue will need that little extra more then an inmate needs a whore house

Credit to: Maddencoach


"You know what's a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM's and see if you can whack off before you fall asleep. You always win, that's the best part about the game."

Paris Musketeers vs Buffalo Gangstarz
I nominate this match up for Terrible Game of the Week. This game is scheduled to be played in the parking lot of the nearest Wal-mart. Let me be blunt about this... Paris suck so hard, they can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Do you care? No. Do I care? No. Does the league care, given both these teams non-reputation for GLB coverage? No. (Which I use to acknowledges, by the way.) Do I need to post something relating to this excruciatingly monotonous match-up, though? Fuck-NO!!!, It's like being an atheist in church. You won't make it without being bored to death. The Gangstarz will win because Musketeers suck. The End.

Colorado Springs Blazers vs LaPaz Challengers
Lapaz plays like ass but Colorado play like crap coming out of that ass. Colorado, Please do not take offense. Plus arcjedi is a pretty nice fella, I'm sure he brought an economy size bucket of lube for you and your team.

Eastern European Alliance vs Miami Fusion
EEA will treat the Fusion like a bowling Ball... gets picked up, fingered + thrown in the gutter... and still comes back for more! I think it should be safe to pick you as the winner as I anticipate you to be all in Miami's chest like a training bra.

LUELinks LUEshis vs Minnesota Stunners
The entire Minnesota crew is hotter than a whore house on nickel night. It's going to be very difficult for LUELinks players to watch much of the game due to the amount of time they will spend on their backs. How can you not fall in love with a team who build up a rep for ripping your ears off and forcefully stuffing it up your butt-hole so you can hear them kicking your ass.

Rare Breed vs Gangsta Wit it'
Same shit, just a different restroom. Rare Breed Rookies a.k.a Death from above will rain down all over Gangsta.

Kansas City Hippos vs 1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers
Nebraska is the type of team who shuttle up in an all white van with no windows and ride around your neighborhood with puppies and snow cones in the back. Hide your children because Nebraska could give 2 fucks about you. I am naturally pulling for Kansas City but would have a better chance of getting a nun to jerk me off while watching Miley Cyrus read the bible.

You guys have done great! Its like Madden is right here with us. I propose we keep this going every game.


EEA vs Fusion

You know that face you get (not that you've seen it) when you unload the nastiest diarrhea squirt you've ever had into the toilet and you think the stream of dark brown death seems like it is going to be never ending....and then when the fire hose finally lets up you take a quick sniff and think "hmm...that isn't so bad" and the word bad isn't quite out of your brain yet....when suddenly it hits you. HOLY HELL WHAT WAS IN THERE. Picture that face that you make.

Now picture it on 40,000 screaming fans faces all at the same time at eastern european stadium...because that is what is going to happen when EEA takes a dump on the field...sticks fusions face in it...then yanks down fusions knickers...then pulls the old ass to mouth....over and over and over and over and over and over.

Earnest P Worrell will be making the CASH MONEY sign over his head after at least 8 touchdowns in the morning...and the fusion won't be able to take their underwear off without seeing a giant blood stain for at least a month...I hope you like suppositories fusion - you're going to be using them a lot to clear up those fissures.

Originally posted by rob4121983
Credit to: Maddencoach


Kansas City Hippos vs 1995 Nebraska Cornhuskers
I am naturally pulling for Kansas City but would have a better chance of getting a nun to jerk me off while watching Miley Cyrus read the bible.

LOL WOW.....Now thats funny right there

Posting in an epic thread.

I dug up some of his great material from Roosevelt and tried to apply it to the current matchups. I hope you guys enjoyed it.

Also, never heard the term "out of pocket". Must be a Texas thing.

I nailed it with EEA. 7 passing TD's and 1 rushing TD for Worrell

Originally posted by TxSteve
I nailed it with EEA. 7 passing TD's and 1 rushing TD for Worrell

Yes you did.

do you think lapaz is in the wildcard hunt?

Originally posted by arcjedi
do you think lapaz is in the wildcard hunt?

there's only one team in the wild card hunt

Originally posted by andrewtabs
there's only one team in the wild card hunt

Not much of a hunt then.