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Forum > Goal Line Blitz 2 > Seasoned Top 10 - The numbers all go to eleven
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Galithor
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Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...

1. The Salty Runback:
Our tier's patron saints of footwear took a step back during level 10. Losses to Corning and Harrisonburg brought them within striking distance of other Seasoned teams, and they were able to handle the first such matchup with Hawaii. Also had a good league win over a top 20 Winterfell team. They've got a pretty big league game against Darkside coming up. My opinion on this team is their sims are dreadfully boring to watch. I'm not sure I'd even put their offense in the top 5 of Seasoned tier. They play good defense, but it's not like they're using cooler plays than anyone else, they just built pretty good players for it. Of course, handling Hawaii means they're probably highly at risk of a good torching by the big passing teams. I think Salty is falling back into the pack some this season. We're going to see a couple of other teams sitting at #1 at different points this year.

2. Harrisonburg Bulldogs
Harrisonburg's musical trilogy of wins over Andes, Salty, and the inebriated Irishmen(journeyman) have them playing something very pretty in a soft D minor. It's only when one of thier OLBs sack you and starts the morale spiral of doom that you realize this song in soft D-minor is called "Lick My Love Pump", and that we're a couple stars away from the absurdity of Gold Showboats or Silver/Silver Showboats/Trash Talk being a thing. Wanna beat these guys? Don't run passing plays that will get sacked, and don't run rushing plays with high TFL ratios.

3. Atlantic City Hookers
Randall Cobb had a slow first game. He's been on an absolute tear since. He's been on a pretentious ponderous collection of unstoppable routes and big plays, and it is enough to prompt the question, "What day did the Lord create Randall Cobb, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?" I'm pretty sure Xavori and sieg76 hate these guys at this point. Atlantic City got drubbed pretty good by Hawaii (middle overload. It's not a good play for outside run defense.), but they've also slaughtered Lost Lounge pretty surprisingly twice now. Don't worry, I'll make fun of Lost Lounge's inability to deal with Middle Overload in their own special section later.

4. Hawaii Bulls
Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not widely reported. What is widely reported is that Hawaii is going to run the football on the outside and kill you with it if you're not gameplanning for it. Probably the best set of running backs in the tier. You don't let these guys break contain, or you pay. It's that simple. Knocked off Erie and Atlantic City with relative ease, but ran into a brick wall against TSR. Thus, here they sit, within striking distance of the throne.

5. Lost Lounge
The loungers are very lucky in that they have two visionaries, Xavori and Sieg76, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. Sardonik told me he feels his role is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water. Rough start to the ladder season for the Lounge. Those upgrades to the passing game haven't panned out quite yet. They beat their little brother Darkside, but got brutalized twice by Atlantic City. You know what doesn't work against middle overload? Slow developing routes that tend towards the middle of the field. Once Sieg get's a handle on things, they should be pretty nasty again going forward. Today's win over DADDY as I'm typing this was a pretty good sign they're starting to get the ship turned around perhaps.

6. Andes Chinchillas
I suspect hoshdude7 lives by the creed "Have a good time... all the time." The Chinchillas continue to consistently play top 10 caliber bortball. They lost to Harrisonburg early this season convincingly, and then split a couple of matchups with Air Raid, losing the first, and winning the second in particularly spectacular fashion. http://glb2.warriorgeneral.com/game/game/64238 is probably the most exciting game played in the tier up to this point. I don't look for Andes to really change much, and likely float around the top 5-15 all season. They'll run into trouble trying to punch back into the top 5 with any regularity.

7. Darkside VaseBreakers
Here's how the conversation goes down at lounge events:

Sieg76: Yeah, listen, we'd love to stand around and chat, but we've gotta... sit down in the lobby and wait for the limo.
Rom_Fox: Ok.
Sardonik00: OK. Great. Xav, great to see you. Great to see you again.
Rom_Fox: We'll catch up with you on the road.
Xavori: Cheers.
Sardonik00: Xav! Great to see you. See ya. See you, Xav. Good days. Good days!

[as soon as they are out of earshot of Xavori]

Sardonik00: Fuckin' wanker.
kylersk: What a wanker.
Sardonik00: What a wanker.
Rom_Fox: Total no talent sod.

Darkside beat Erie and Louisiana, and lost to the big brothers at the Lounge. Xav claims their chaos offense gives them some immunities to various defenses. I'll agree that having a rushing QB is an asset right now. Another team I expect to hang out consistently in the top 5-10 range.

8. Louisiana Screaming Pelicans
Galithor: Given the history of Top 10 teams, uh, in the past, do you have any fears, uh, for your rank?
Tigerbait0307: When I did join, you know, they did tell me - they kind of took me aside and said, "Well, TB0307. It's, you know, it's like this..." And it did kind of freak me out a bit. But it can't always happen to every, can it? I mean, really...
Galithor: Because the law of averages...
TB0307: ...The law of averages...
Galithor: ...Says you will survive.
TB0307: Yeh.

That's right, Louisiana's still kicking it around in the top 10! They're not dead yet! Wins over Los Cabos and Erie confirm their status as better than 10-15, and the loss to Darkside convinces us that TB's still got some work to do to get back into the top elite category. Good team is good.

9. Air Raid
I was reading this book the other day by Sammy Davis Jr title "Yes I Can". It was inspiring and convinced me that I too, could have a top 5 team. The book should have been called "Yes I Can if Adderfist says it's OK". I'm not sure we're the laziest top 10 team, but we're probably pretty close. I mean, I tweak stuff. Adderfist tweaks stuff. But it's rare that we suddenly make dramatic changes to anything until playoffs. Cleveland Brown is closing in on the offensive HOF MVP again. Some things are inevitable. I could go into a bunch of Matrix quotes from Laurence Fishburn and stuff, but if you haven't figured out This is Spinal Tap is the theme of these rankings in honor of level 11, then you need to not be younger than 30-35 and take some time go educate yourself on 80's humor. We split games with Andes, beat Los Cabos, and lost a game in league. Therefore we're probably precisely where we should be ranked right now. Big stretch of league games coming up starting today with Erie, then Berkley and Atlantic City. The opporunity to make big gains is there. I fully expect we'll go around .500 through all that

10. Seattle Seahawks
Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you. In this case, the end of the top 10 is Seattle, because they're 10th, and I'm not doing anymore Spinal Tap quotes or paraphrases for these rankings. Seattle has embraced thier rushing QB as the gamebreaker he should be. Will be interesting to see how high he can carry them, for research purposes, of course. FYI, if you're playing these guys, you might want to notice Russell Wilson and his skillset when preparing a defense. They've won all 3 ladder matches against Salt Lake, Winterfell, and Sandy Cheeks. They're absolutely rolling right now too.


And thus completes our Level 11 review!
Edited by Galithor on May 24, 2014 10:21:43
Edited by Galithor on May 24, 2014 10:19:01
Edited by Galithor on May 24, 2014 10:18:16
 
o The Boss x
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Hawaii vs Salty: you'll never see Hawaii run that lol offense again, never seen a run team pass so much.
 
Xavori
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Great write up.

As for the Lounge, I think it's time to send my guys to Bitch School so that we can come Back From the Dead and Just Begin Again. I mean, this is America and I'm gonna teach my defense the Majesty of Rock because I'm tired of Stinkin' Up the Great Outdoors. We're gonna push hard, and when they start to falter, I'm going to remind them The Sun Never Sweats and that's where they need to be. Anyway, I'm gonna make this Short and Sweet as Lounge takes it All the Way Home.
 
TDiddy8701
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absolutely terrific write-up... hilarious

you must be a writer or journalist or something
 
Galithor
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Originally posted by TDiddy8701
absolutely terrific write-up... hilarious

you must be a writer or journalist or something


I'm a control systems technician. When homer simpson pushes the red button to shut down the power plant, I'm the guy that programmed that red button to shut down the power plant.


Oh, and GG Erie. I don't know what it is about that secondary, but they just play our WRs really tough.
 
jamz
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Very good read.
 
TDiddy8701
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I'm going to be a bit sour about that loss to Hawaii for a while... ugh... not that I don't think they are an equivalent team, but I think we outplayed them that game in a loss :-/

Originally posted by Galithor
I'm a control systems technician


I'm an civil engineer/tech and don't even remotely have your wittiness when it comes to writing
 
Xavori
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Originally posted by TDiddy8701
absolutely terrific write-up... hilarious

you must be a writer or journalist or something


I was more reminded of Thucydides's style in writing his History of the Peloponnesian War where he made up numerous speeches that told the tales of the politics going on during the long war between Sparta and Athens.

Speaking of Thucydides

“It is frequently a misfortune to have very brilliant men in charge of affairs. They expect too much of ordinary men.”
 
pottsman
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Originally posted by jamz
Very good read.


^^ That
 
TxSteve
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I have no affiliation with seasoned.... But loved the read . Hope you do more in the future
 
Galithor
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Originally posted by TxSteve
I have no affiliation with seasoned.... But loved the read . Hope you do more in the future


every level barring injury.
 
Sardonik00
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I am the lukewarm water of the Lounge team. But what is Rom_Fox? Ultimate Darkside DC.

I really enjoy the write ups, Galithor. It makes the game more fun.
 
o The Boss x
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Originally posted by TDiddy8701
I think we outplayed them that game in a loss


Welcome to glb.

We outplayed the shit out of salty, just had the worst possible plan in for O, actually kinda funny how that happens.
 
TDiddy8701
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Originally posted by o The Boss x
We outplayed the shit out of salty, just had the worst possible plan in for O, actually kinda funny how that happens.


outplayed the shit out of salty? puh-lease... no, not even close

I watched the entire game

they outgained you by 140 yards, out-averaged you on passing AND rushing... and fumbled the ball away to you on your own 3 yard line... 9 (NINE!) of their possessions in YOUR side of the field resulted in no points

I'd say they deserved that game, and it could have been a MUCH bigger score differential than 6 points
Edited by TDiddy8701 on May 24, 2014 15:31:42
Edited by TDiddy8701 on May 24, 2014 14:50:16
 
o The Boss x
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If you watched you probably would have realized how out of whack our offense was then.

We gave up 16 points to a team that got the ball after a three and out 4th and 20+ punt majority of possessions. Pretty impressive if you ask me.

They should have won by 50, pretty sure most teams would have.
 
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