One of the cool things about writing these is all the positive feedback I've gotten. Not just on the forums, but in PM's and chat. So thank you everybody.
One of the less cool things about writing these is all the um...uh...interesting feedback I've gotten. I'm not going to name names, but I'm not exactly sure what I've said that would make someone think I'd be into unicorn/rainbow porn. Hey, I'm not one to judge given my blue chick fetish, but unicorns? Rainbows? Really?
I guess next up I'll find out Corndog is into corndogs, unicorns, and rainbows. Not that he's who I wasn't naming with the unicorn and rainbows bit. Totally some other guy. Really. You can trust me on this.
#10 (tied) Fully Torqued Dry Guys vs. #7 Victorious Secret
It wasn't that long ago that I considered Victorious Secret to be one of the best teams in rookiedom. But best teams don't get shut out by #30 teams in league play. Now, they've put up an impressive 438 points and only allowed 64, but for some reason, they just can't quite get from the ranks of 'very good' into 'amongst the best'.
FTDG on the other hand isn't even as impressive as Victorious. They seem really content to hang around the edges of the top ten, beating the teams below them and losing to those above them. This game will likely be no different.
Victorious 24 - FTDG 10
#10 (tied) D'Haran Empire vs. #17 Yorick's Gravediggers
These two teams are offensive juggernaughts combining for almost 10,000 yards of offense of which 61.5 is passing...total...combined. Call me crazy, but I'm guessing this won't a Tom Brady/Peyton Manning-esque aerial battle. More likely it will be like when Scipio and Hanninbal met at Zama with two powers slugging it out straight ahead until Scipio was able to push his right wing forward, routing the Carthaginian cavalary and allowing the Romans to outflank their enemy. But who will be Scipio and who will be Hannibal?
Yorick brings to the table the ultimate feast or famine offense. They've put up a staggering 5201 yards rushing and 521 points in league but have been shut out several times. D'Haran has only scored 399 points, but they're much more consistent. If Empire can stop Yorick early, that might be all it takes as every time Yorick has been stopped early, they've never been able to get things going at all. Pity that D'Haran hasn't yet shown that actually can stop a dedicated rushing attack.
Yorick 33 - D'Haran 13
#9 Denver Nightmares vs. #124 Leetsauce Noobcrushers
No. You did not read #124 wrong, nor did I make a typo. Leetsauce is a SEASONED team. Admittedly, they are the second worst Seasoned team, but this is still a matchup of a team into their third season being put up against rookies, and not even the best rookies. There is just no way Denver is going to overcome that level of disparity.
Good news for Leetsauce I guess. It'll be their first win of the season. Although it still would be like losing your virginity to Jampy's mom after bribing her with $10 in Golden Corral gift certificates.
Leetsauce 45 - Denver 0
#8 Lincoln City Red Imps vs. #13 Mushroom City Fighting Shrooms
Although not quite as one dimensional as D'Haran and Yorick, these are both run teams. While you might actually see some passes thrown, it's going to be down in the trenches that determines the winner.
In that regard, you pretty much have to give it to the Imps. They gain a lot more yards, they score a lot more points, and they allow
fewer yards. Unless the Shrooms have a red turtle shell they've been holding back, Lincoln City is going to race past them.
Lincoln City 24 - Mushroom City 7
#6 Rhode Island Falcons vs. #4 Nigerian Minimares
So the last two rounds I've made My Lit....err...Personal Diminutive Equines jokes in reference to the Minimares. Both times it seems that bringing up My Litt...Personal Diminutive Equines has led to their losing including that 57-0 thrashing at the hand of the Jesse Venturas. So this time, no My Littl...Personal Diminutive Equines references.
Rhode Island is definitely on the rise. Since struggling early, their offense has totally come together into what is likely the best passing attack of any rookie team. This is really bad news for the Nightmares as they've struggled against the pass.
Falcons 30 - Minimares 13
p.s. Pinkie Pie!
#5 1995 Nebraska Future Felons vs. #3 Baby BULLIES
Anyone that's been paying attention to the rookies has likely heard Baby talking about shutting out their league opponents. And if you've been paying attention to me, you're not going to be surprised to know that those teams are ranked 92, 134, 100, etc. In short, the BULLIES are really, really good at beating really, really bad teams.
Nebraska, on the other hand, has started to put together a respectable resume of victories. There aren't any top five teams on that list, but it could just be that they haven't been given the chance yet. Well now they get that chance. Too bad nobody puts Baby in the corner.
BULLIES 17 - Nebraska 7
#2 Jesse Venturas vs. #1 All Madden
You could prolly just flip a coin on this game and have as much chance to pick the winner as I do even looking at stats and records. These are two very good teams that are evenly matched offensively and defensively. Both have over 400 points in league play. Both have held their league opponents to under 50 total points.
Last time, All Madden bodyslammed the Jessee Venturas before laying down a flying leg drop to win the game. This time, I think the Venturas are going to grab a steel chair from outside the ring and smash All Madden over the head while the referee's back is turned. All this is just preparation for their final matchup at Wrestlemania that will happen during their final ladder match of the season.
Jesse Venturas 21 - All Madden 17
One of the less cool things about writing these is all the um...uh...interesting feedback I've gotten. I'm not going to name names, but I'm not exactly sure what I've said that would make someone think I'd be into unicorn/rainbow porn. Hey, I'm not one to judge given my blue chick fetish, but unicorns? Rainbows? Really?
I guess next up I'll find out Corndog is into corndogs, unicorns, and rainbows. Not that he's who I wasn't naming with the unicorn and rainbows bit. Totally some other guy. Really. You can trust me on this.
#10 (tied) Fully Torqued Dry Guys vs. #7 Victorious Secret
It wasn't that long ago that I considered Victorious Secret to be one of the best teams in rookiedom. But best teams don't get shut out by #30 teams in league play. Now, they've put up an impressive 438 points and only allowed 64, but for some reason, they just can't quite get from the ranks of 'very good' into 'amongst the best'.
FTDG on the other hand isn't even as impressive as Victorious. They seem really content to hang around the edges of the top ten, beating the teams below them and losing to those above them. This game will likely be no different.
Victorious 24 - FTDG 10
#10 (tied) D'Haran Empire vs. #17 Yorick's Gravediggers
These two teams are offensive juggernaughts combining for almost 10,000 yards of offense of which 61.5 is passing...total...combined. Call me crazy, but I'm guessing this won't a Tom Brady/Peyton Manning-esque aerial battle. More likely it will be like when Scipio and Hanninbal met at Zama with two powers slugging it out straight ahead until Scipio was able to push his right wing forward, routing the Carthaginian cavalary and allowing the Romans to outflank their enemy. But who will be Scipio and who will be Hannibal?
Yorick brings to the table the ultimate feast or famine offense. They've put up a staggering 5201 yards rushing and 521 points in league but have been shut out several times. D'Haran has only scored 399 points, but they're much more consistent. If Empire can stop Yorick early, that might be all it takes as every time Yorick has been stopped early, they've never been able to get things going at all. Pity that D'Haran hasn't yet shown that actually can stop a dedicated rushing attack.
Yorick 33 - D'Haran 13
#9 Denver Nightmares vs. #124 Leetsauce Noobcrushers
No. You did not read #124 wrong, nor did I make a typo. Leetsauce is a SEASONED team. Admittedly, they are the second worst Seasoned team, but this is still a matchup of a team into their third season being put up against rookies, and not even the best rookies. There is just no way Denver is going to overcome that level of disparity.
Good news for Leetsauce I guess. It'll be their first win of the season. Although it still would be like losing your virginity to Jampy's mom after bribing her with $10 in Golden Corral gift certificates.
Leetsauce 45 - Denver 0
#8 Lincoln City Red Imps vs. #13 Mushroom City Fighting Shrooms
Although not quite as one dimensional as D'Haran and Yorick, these are both run teams. While you might actually see some passes thrown, it's going to be down in the trenches that determines the winner.
In that regard, you pretty much have to give it to the Imps. They gain a lot more yards, they score a lot more points, and they allow
fewer yards. Unless the Shrooms have a red turtle shell they've been holding back, Lincoln City is going to race past them.
Lincoln City 24 - Mushroom City 7
#6 Rhode Island Falcons vs. #4 Nigerian Minimares
So the last two rounds I've made My Lit....err...Personal Diminutive Equines jokes in reference to the Minimares. Both times it seems that bringing up My Litt...Personal Diminutive Equines has led to their losing including that 57-0 thrashing at the hand of the Jesse Venturas. So this time, no My Littl...Personal Diminutive Equines references.
Rhode Island is definitely on the rise. Since struggling early, their offense has totally come together into what is likely the best passing attack of any rookie team. This is really bad news for the Nightmares as they've struggled against the pass.
Falcons 30 - Minimares 13
p.s. Pinkie Pie!
#5 1995 Nebraska Future Felons vs. #3 Baby BULLIES
Anyone that's been paying attention to the rookies has likely heard Baby talking about shutting out their league opponents. And if you've been paying attention to me, you're not going to be surprised to know that those teams are ranked 92, 134, 100, etc. In short, the BULLIES are really, really good at beating really, really bad teams.
Nebraska, on the other hand, has started to put together a respectable resume of victories. There aren't any top five teams on that list, but it could just be that they haven't been given the chance yet. Well now they get that chance. Too bad nobody puts Baby in the corner.
BULLIES 17 - Nebraska 7
#2 Jesse Venturas vs. #1 All Madden
You could prolly just flip a coin on this game and have as much chance to pick the winner as I do even looking at stats and records. These are two very good teams that are evenly matched offensively and defensively. Both have over 400 points in league play. Both have held their league opponents to under 50 total points.
Last time, All Madden bodyslammed the Jessee Venturas before laying down a flying leg drop to win the game. This time, I think the Venturas are going to grab a steel chair from outside the ring and smash All Madden over the head while the referee's back is turned. All this is just preparation for their final matchup at Wrestlemania that will happen during their final ladder match of the season.
Jesse Venturas 21 - All Madden 17
Edited by Xavori on Apr 27, 2014 03:19:54
