Originally posted by Kayoh
Wait, what happened?
Well, in the very beginning, there was a singularity. Then an all-powerful being, a god perhaps, said, "Let there be light," and the singularity exploded in a very big bang.
This was followed by a period of rapid inflation whereby all the matter of the universe that had once occuped a space smaller than an atom grew billions upon billions of times larger. This expansion happened much faster than the speed of light, and it took less than .0000000000000000000000000000000001 seconds.
This was followed by billions of years of stars being born, dying, exploding, and being reborn again. Most estimates say around 9.3 billion years or so after the singularity a small molten rock collected in orbit around a fairly small yellow star. For the next 700 million to one billion years, the rock was a barren mess of volcanoes, molten rock, and unhappiness.
Then life appeared. At first this life was incredibly simple, consisting mostly of prokaryotes, ie. cells without a membrane bound nucleus. Eventually through the process of evolution the prokaryotes developed such a nucleus as the centrally located and protected structure improved their ability to pass on their genetic material to the next generation. These new eukaryotes evolved from single celled organisms into multi-celled symbiotic organisms around a billion years ago. Over the next half billion years, the multiple symbiotic cells started to specialize in tasks forming ever more complicated living creatures until finally around 500 million or so years ago, the first proto-amphibian decided to stroll up onto land.
After that, things start to speed up a bit. It didn't take long to get all kinds of plants and animals all covorting all over the place with new species being born and old ones dying out almost every day.
Then around 60 million years or so ago, a special kind of animal was born. This animal had two arms and two legs, and while it mostly still moved around on all four, it was comfortable using its front limbs and extraordinarily agile 'paws' to manipulate the environment. These were the first primates. Like all the other critters, primates kept evolving. Eventually, primates along a branch known as apes had the most significant split in all of human history. About 2.5 million years ago, the apes split into two branches. Down one branch came modern apes like chimpanzees and gorillas. Down the other branch came creatures that would eventually become humans. The first homo sapiens appeared about 200,000 years ago.
Homo sapiens were amazingly gifted creatures. They had exceptional problem solving skills. More than that, they had the ability to communicate their solutions to problems to each other. This meant that one human could invent fire, and eventually, every other human knew how to do it as well even if they never saw the original human making fire. Humans continued to develop there communication ability until they first the oral tradition and then eventually writing which allowed human creativity to be sent across not just space, but time as well.
Then, in the 1960's or so, Al Gore invented the Internet. He did so as a research project for the Department of Defense. Initially, ArpaNet was just a tiny handful of computers at those high-falutin' thinkin' buildings. But eventually, Al realized he had a real winner on his hands that could be put to much better use than just university professors patting each other on the back about how well they had used proper APA formatting in their last paper. He realized that what the Internet was really meant for was playing games.
Well, fast forward through Rogue, MUD's, Ultima Online until not that long ago when some sorta football fan named Bort decided he wanted to make an online game about football. So he grabbed a few of his buddies, some beer, some pizza, a lot of Mountain Dew, and got down to work. They made first Goal Line Blitz followed after a bit by Goal Line Blitz 2.
Then some guy Bort found, prolly in a rest area parking lot, named Corndog completely fubarred the whole defensive AI of GLB2 between seasons 2 and 3.
And, that's gets us up to today.