THE WINNIPEG ??? MATCH REPORT IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY SIMON ISLAND'S JIZZ COLADAS – GET FIZZ OFF OF MY JIZZ!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v254/jdogg/luxurybox.jpg
Winnipeg owner Trevski Irwinavich, the controversial Russian billionaire, seen sitting in his luxury box with club executives.
The Winnipeg Flyers, who are said to be under a current name change in the near future, lost their inaugural match 14-9 in front of their home crowd. Not only is the team trying to find their identity in terms of image, but it was clear that they were still trying to find the perfect plan that fit their growing roster.
With that in mind, it was fitting that a big question mark was painted in the centre of the field, and were all over the end zones. The soon-to-be-renamed Winnipeg team came out wearing black pants, and white tops. Their white, drab looking helmets also had question marks on them. The home crowd, wishing to be whipped into a frenzy, only ended up frozen in befuddlement as they found it hard to get behind a bunch of question marks.
The Rocky Mountain Gladiators scored on their first possession, not helping the enthusiasm of the home crowd.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8537931
Winnipeg tried to fire back, even seeing an eleven yard gain by the Llama Lover himself, but the ambiguous squad would have to settle for a 42 yard field goal by Chi Joku.
“It felt great being able to power in those kicks,” said the sumo punter. “I asked the manager [General Hollatz] where the uprights were before the game, as a joke. He freaked out. He should calm down.”
The Gladiators were out to put themselves further ahead, but SS Cometo Daddy had something to say about that.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8538203
“The father is always the head of the household, and when the father summons the children, the children better fucking some,” said Cometo Daddy. “I'm Daddy... And that fucking ball came to me... I don't know, does that sound right? Does that sound cool or anything? It's the beginning of the season, let me work on it, ok? I'll come up with a cool phrase when this season progresses, just you watch... Just... you... watch...”
Unfortunately, Daddy's efforts only lead to a 47 yard field goal by Joku.
Winnipeg continued to fail in their attack, as QB Shannon Bailey struggled.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8538584
But for their offensive troubles, Winnipeg displayed a solid defense that saw very strong play at the line, with Corky Muledick and Bickus Dickus rattling Rocky Mountain.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8538785
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8540435
But despite strong defensive play, the Gladiators managed to find their breaks.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8539050
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8541751
Down by five, Winnipeg tried a late game rally but harsh luck was the story of the day. Once again, question marks came in, as the team was left saying, “What if...?”
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8542752
“Unacceptable!” screamed owner Trevski Irwinavich. “No free hookers for a bunch of losers! No breaks, no sleep! Everyone must start practising for ze next game immediately!”
“Fucking gutted,” said manager/quarterback General Hollatz. “There will be a gassing if we lose like this again. In my defence, Germany is playing in ze Euro 2008 Final. Yet I still put that, and my fetish for necrophilia and rape, off to ze side and produce.”
“General Hollatz is an idiot,” LB Craig McLeod said. “Stupid fucker tells me to go out and just focus on killing people, and look what happens. Fucking fuck face, I'm never listening to him again. All ya'll can go fuck yourselves. Peace out...”
“I diagnose this team with a case of trying to discover themselves,” explained SS Doctor Rosenpenis. “I am a doctor, after all. To get more of an idea in curing this, I suggest that the team strips down and that they cough for me.”
HB Llama Lover was unavailable for comment, as it is hard to talk when one has a llama's dick lodged down their throat.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v254/jdogg/luxurybox.jpg
Winnipeg owner Trevski Irwinavich, the controversial Russian billionaire, seen sitting in his luxury box with club executives.
The Winnipeg Flyers, who are said to be under a current name change in the near future, lost their inaugural match 14-9 in front of their home crowd. Not only is the team trying to find their identity in terms of image, but it was clear that they were still trying to find the perfect plan that fit their growing roster.
With that in mind, it was fitting that a big question mark was painted in the centre of the field, and were all over the end zones. The soon-to-be-renamed Winnipeg team came out wearing black pants, and white tops. Their white, drab looking helmets also had question marks on them. The home crowd, wishing to be whipped into a frenzy, only ended up frozen in befuddlement as they found it hard to get behind a bunch of question marks.
The Rocky Mountain Gladiators scored on their first possession, not helping the enthusiasm of the home crowd.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8537931
Winnipeg tried to fire back, even seeing an eleven yard gain by the Llama Lover himself, but the ambiguous squad would have to settle for a 42 yard field goal by Chi Joku.
“It felt great being able to power in those kicks,” said the sumo punter. “I asked the manager [General Hollatz] where the uprights were before the game, as a joke. He freaked out. He should calm down.”
The Gladiators were out to put themselves further ahead, but SS Cometo Daddy had something to say about that.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8538203
“The father is always the head of the household, and when the father summons the children, the children better fucking some,” said Cometo Daddy. “I'm Daddy... And that fucking ball came to me... I don't know, does that sound right? Does that sound cool or anything? It's the beginning of the season, let me work on it, ok? I'll come up with a cool phrase when this season progresses, just you watch... Just... you... watch...”
Unfortunately, Daddy's efforts only lead to a 47 yard field goal by Joku.
Winnipeg continued to fail in their attack, as QB Shannon Bailey struggled.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8538584
But for their offensive troubles, Winnipeg displayed a solid defense that saw very strong play at the line, with Corky Muledick and Bickus Dickus rattling Rocky Mountain.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8538785
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8540435
But despite strong defensive play, the Gladiators managed to find their breaks.
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8539050
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8541751
Down by five, Winnipeg tried a late game rally but harsh luck was the story of the day. Once again, question marks came in, as the team was left saying, “What if...?”
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=8542752
“Unacceptable!” screamed owner Trevski Irwinavich. “No free hookers for a bunch of losers! No breaks, no sleep! Everyone must start practising for ze next game immediately!”
“Fucking gutted,” said manager/quarterback General Hollatz. “There will be a gassing if we lose like this again. In my defence, Germany is playing in ze Euro 2008 Final. Yet I still put that, and my fetish for necrophilia and rape, off to ze side and produce.”
“General Hollatz is an idiot,” LB Craig McLeod said. “Stupid fucker tells me to go out and just focus on killing people, and look what happens. Fucking fuck face, I'm never listening to him again. All ya'll can go fuck yourselves. Peace out...”
“I diagnose this team with a case of trying to discover themselves,” explained SS Doctor Rosenpenis. “I am a doctor, after all. To get more of an idea in curing this, I suggest that the team strips down and that they cough for me.”
HB Llama Lover was unavailable for comment, as it is hard to talk when one has a llama's dick lodged down their throat.
