First off this is some serious shit. I use an algorithm based on Pythagoras or some shit and it's fucking AMAZING at math. unlike me. so don't bicker over the results. as DLR said " eat it and smile " .
Week 1 matchups
A Team of Ice and Fire VS Dallas Longhorns:
I'm sorry Dallas. I live here and was wearing a longhorns hat till about 45 minutes ago, but a bunch of fucking Cows trying to play against Ice and Fire is like Charlie Sheen trying to get a hit TV show. it Ain't gonna happen. I mean it's FIRE! holy shit. that shits HOT!! and then if that wasn't enough they bring in the ice and fucking freeze your balls off!!!! fuck!!! gonna be some frozen and burnt cow patties after this one. YUMMM!!!
Ice and Fire by 17.
Black Hand Gods Of War VS The African Predators:
OK. this one caused my algorithm to hiccup. needs more data. I mean on one hand you have a black hand gods of war, but it sounds like they only one hand, so they could be fucking handicapped?! but then you have some African Predators.. well.. what kind of Predators? if they are like some pedo-bear/chris hansen type shit then fuck no!!! even the handicap hands of blackness would win. but... if they are like those alien VS predator shit African dudes... well.. they would probably still be starving.
fuck it.
Black Hand Gods of War by 41
Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons VS Krungthep Garudas:
I had to google this Krungthep shit and all I could figure out was it's in fucking Bangkok or some shit. I got distracted by something shiny and gave up on googleing Machu Pichu, but as long as they keep the dragons hidden they are bound to lose. I'm just not sure what it is they are losing to? super magic algorithm says...
Garudas win an upset by 11 !! unless the dragons come out.... then it might be different. you figure it out.
Moose Jaw Roughriders VS Mayan Prophecy:
I'm not sure if the Roughriders come from Moose Jaw , eh? or if they have a bad case of Moose Jaw? If you Google it , it seems the team is selling a bunch of apparel? WTF?!
Mayan Prophecy seems to have only a few seasons left before their fucking calendar goes ape shit and kills us all. pretty easy one here .
Mayan's by 30
Queen City Black Cats VS Eastern European Alliance :
a bunch of homos VS an alliance of people who've been through like fucking a bazillion world wars and shit? and it's just the cats too?!! fuck!
Alliance by 112
C-Town MF'n Hood VS Canton Immortals:
FUCK THIS SHIT!! kill whitey MF'r's!!!! word up!! pull your pants up!!!!
C-town by 11111111919199191910111110000!!!!!
Chocolate Blaze VS Finhali Demotied:
I googled Finhali and it's like this place doesnt fucking exist?! congratulations! you broke the mother fucking interwebs!! Chocolate Blaze? I like that dude.. even though he looks like Erkel he has that whole deep voice thing going on. and apparently now he's on fire! holy shit! like some kind of fondue chocolate waterfall?!?! those things are crazy tasty dude!!
Blaze by 25 ...or 32. maybe. yeah.. 32.
Korb Destroyers VS Chicago Hedgehogs:
I must tell you that I have known some people from Chicago, and while pretty tough folks, they are no fucking hedgehogs. I won't try and Google "Korb" but the icon looks like a human/panda headed beast and it fucking DESTROYS shit! no way some hedgehogs could stand up against that, but their sheer number will make it a close one.
Korb by 7
Black Sea Squall VS East St Louis Tire Fires :
wow! it's like two fucking natural disasters against each other. oh.. yeah.. it is. fuck me!
well.. a Sea Squall can move around and even though they are playing the race card, it's easy to see they will put out any fire a bunch of amorphous tires may have started. east side or not.this ain't Japan biatches!!
Black Sea by 41
The New York Empire VS Buda Pests:
This is a tough one. on paper they both have....oh.. who am I kidding.
New York by 34
Jebediah's Oblong Ball Club VS Providence Radicals:
holy fuck!! look at that name!!Jebediah's Oblong Ball Club!!! thats some funny shit!! it's like a fart joke.. it never gets old!!! MUauauauauaua!!!!!!! ok. settle.... umm.If the Radicals can stop laughing long enough to score without needing an "oblong ball" oh shit!!! hahahahahahahahaha!!! sorry.. umm...
Radicals by 3
Djibouti Arms Dealing Doomsday Yodelers VS Devonport Devils:
Ok. shit just got real. I hate DADDY. hate them. not the owner or management or agents, just the team. 'cause they beat me a few times. wwhhaaaaaaww!!!(insert whargaaarrbbll pic here) OK. so if they are yodeling the fuck away and the Devils are probably like doing some nasty devil shit or something but then it hits them... they are yodeling about THE FUCKING DOOMSDAY!!!!! it's over baby!! c-ya!!! goodnight!!
Daddy by 63
Death Valley Fightin' Tigers VS So Cal BDC:
So I would be biased if I told you how badass DVFT is and how they are going to kick ass all up and down WL all day and night and steal your mom and make you say thank you, I can't do that because my algorithm is fucking too accurate and I'm keeping it real.
DVFT by 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 +/- 3 points
Lincoln Navigators VS Odessa Mojo:
I've been to Odessa( not by choice mind you) and they do have a certain "mojo" and while I'm not a fan of the Lincoln brand of motor vehicles, they are huge fucking SUV's and will run over all those fucking retarded high school kids from Odessa all day long. BTW, Celina Bobcats football rules!!
LIncoln by 36
Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers VS Sofia Spiders :
WTF is a "sofia" ?!?! is that like a retarded Italian dude trying to say "sofa" ?!! fuck! and now the sofa has a fucking spider in it?!!1 or is it a spider as big as a sofa?!! 'cause thats a huge ass spider !! and OMFG!! I've been to Honolulu and they aren't kidding. if a hurricane strikes they are gonna have to carry those bitches because they are HUGE!!
but the husbands all were selling me pot so I'm guessing they would be too lazy to actually carry the wife if shit went down. I'm just sayin'....
Spiders by 72 ( and yes, I know this ones wrong, but I'm going with it. sometimes you have to take out the calculator and put in the human touch)
Alpine VS All The King's Men:
FUCK!! name your teams better dammit!! ok.. a region against an unknown quantity of fucking kings men and an un-fucking known king? what if the king has only 2 men? what if the Alpine has a snow-day?! how do magnets work?! fuck!!
Alpine by 1
there you go. all scientific and shit.
( in all seriousness this means nothing. I expect WL to "get it" but Ive had some people "not" in other leagues. I have the utmost respect for all the teams here and looking at each team is a who's who of people who excel in GLB and that I look up to . I hope no one was offended. and if you were .... suck my caulk. it's an honor to have a dot on a team in WL. peace out!!)
and only 1 edit.... just for this :
http://img84.imageshack.us/i/909d.jpg/
Week 1 matchups
A Team of Ice and Fire VS Dallas Longhorns:
I'm sorry Dallas. I live here and was wearing a longhorns hat till about 45 minutes ago, but a bunch of fucking Cows trying to play against Ice and Fire is like Charlie Sheen trying to get a hit TV show. it Ain't gonna happen. I mean it's FIRE! holy shit. that shits HOT!! and then if that wasn't enough they bring in the ice and fucking freeze your balls off!!!! fuck!!! gonna be some frozen and burnt cow patties after this one. YUMMM!!!
Ice and Fire by 17.
Black Hand Gods Of War VS The African Predators:
OK. this one caused my algorithm to hiccup. needs more data. I mean on one hand you have a black hand gods of war, but it sounds like they only one hand, so they could be fucking handicapped?! but then you have some African Predators.. well.. what kind of Predators? if they are like some pedo-bear/chris hansen type shit then fuck no!!! even the handicap hands of blackness would win. but... if they are like those alien VS predator shit African dudes... well.. they would probably still be starving.
fuck it.
Black Hand Gods of War by 41
Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons VS Krungthep Garudas:
I had to google this Krungthep shit and all I could figure out was it's in fucking Bangkok or some shit. I got distracted by something shiny and gave up on googleing Machu Pichu, but as long as they keep the dragons hidden they are bound to lose. I'm just not sure what it is they are losing to? super magic algorithm says...
Garudas win an upset by 11 !! unless the dragons come out.... then it might be different. you figure it out.
Moose Jaw Roughriders VS Mayan Prophecy:
I'm not sure if the Roughriders come from Moose Jaw , eh? or if they have a bad case of Moose Jaw? If you Google it , it seems the team is selling a bunch of apparel? WTF?!
Mayan Prophecy seems to have only a few seasons left before their fucking calendar goes ape shit and kills us all. pretty easy one here .
Mayan's by 30
Queen City Black Cats VS Eastern European Alliance :
a bunch of homos VS an alliance of people who've been through like fucking a bazillion world wars and shit? and it's just the cats too?!! fuck!
Alliance by 112
C-Town MF'n Hood VS Canton Immortals:
FUCK THIS SHIT!! kill whitey MF'r's!!!! word up!! pull your pants up!!!!
C-town by 11111111919199191910111110000!!!!!
Chocolate Blaze VS Finhali Demotied:
I googled Finhali and it's like this place doesnt fucking exist?! congratulations! you broke the mother fucking interwebs!! Chocolate Blaze? I like that dude.. even though he looks like Erkel he has that whole deep voice thing going on. and apparently now he's on fire! holy shit! like some kind of fondue chocolate waterfall?!?! those things are crazy tasty dude!!
Blaze by 25 ...or 32. maybe. yeah.. 32.
Korb Destroyers VS Chicago Hedgehogs:
I must tell you that I have known some people from Chicago, and while pretty tough folks, they are no fucking hedgehogs. I won't try and Google "Korb" but the icon looks like a human/panda headed beast and it fucking DESTROYS shit! no way some hedgehogs could stand up against that, but their sheer number will make it a close one.
Korb by 7
Black Sea Squall VS East St Louis Tire Fires :
wow! it's like two fucking natural disasters against each other. oh.. yeah.. it is. fuck me!
well.. a Sea Squall can move around and even though they are playing the race card, it's easy to see they will put out any fire a bunch of amorphous tires may have started. east side or not.this ain't Japan biatches!!
Black Sea by 41
The New York Empire VS Buda Pests:
This is a tough one. on paper they both have....oh.. who am I kidding.
New York by 34
Jebediah's Oblong Ball Club VS Providence Radicals:
holy fuck!! look at that name!!Jebediah's Oblong Ball Club!!! thats some funny shit!! it's like a fart joke.. it never gets old!!! MUauauauauaua!!!!!!! ok. settle.... umm.If the Radicals can stop laughing long enough to score without needing an "oblong ball" oh shit!!! hahahahahahahahaha!!! sorry.. umm...
Radicals by 3
Djibouti Arms Dealing Doomsday Yodelers VS Devonport Devils:
Ok. shit just got real. I hate DADDY. hate them. not the owner or management or agents, just the team. 'cause they beat me a few times. wwhhaaaaaaww!!!(insert whargaaarrbbll pic here) OK. so if they are yodeling the fuck away and the Devils are probably like doing some nasty devil shit or something but then it hits them... they are yodeling about THE FUCKING DOOMSDAY!!!!! it's over baby!! c-ya!!! goodnight!!
Daddy by 63
Death Valley Fightin' Tigers VS So Cal BDC:
So I would be biased if I told you how badass DVFT is and how they are going to kick ass all up and down WL all day and night and steal your mom and make you say thank you, I can't do that because my algorithm is fucking too accurate and I'm keeping it real.
DVFT by 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 +/- 3 points
Lincoln Navigators VS Odessa Mojo:
I've been to Odessa( not by choice mind you) and they do have a certain "mojo" and while I'm not a fan of the Lincoln brand of motor vehicles, they are huge fucking SUV's and will run over all those fucking retarded high school kids from Odessa all day long. BTW, Celina Bobcats football rules!!
LIncoln by 36
Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers VS Sofia Spiders :
WTF is a "sofia" ?!?! is that like a retarded Italian dude trying to say "sofa" ?!! fuck! and now the sofa has a fucking spider in it?!!1 or is it a spider as big as a sofa?!! 'cause thats a huge ass spider !! and OMFG!! I've been to Honolulu and they aren't kidding. if a hurricane strikes they are gonna have to carry those bitches because they are HUGE!!
but the husbands all were selling me pot so I'm guessing they would be too lazy to actually carry the wife if shit went down. I'm just sayin'....
Spiders by 72 ( and yes, I know this ones wrong, but I'm going with it. sometimes you have to take out the calculator and put in the human touch)
Alpine VS All The King's Men:
FUCK!! name your teams better dammit!! ok.. a region against an unknown quantity of fucking kings men and an un-fucking known king? what if the king has only 2 men? what if the Alpine has a snow-day?! how do magnets work?! fuck!!
Alpine by 1
there you go. all scientific and shit.
( in all seriousness this means nothing. I expect WL to "get it" but Ive had some people "not" in other leagues. I have the utmost respect for all the teams here and looking at each team is a who's who of people who excel in GLB and that I look up to . I hope no one was offended. and if you were .... suck my caulk. it's an honor to have a dot on a team in WL. peace out!!)
and only 1 edit.... just for this :
http://img84.imageshack.us/i/909d.jpg/
Edited by ericb45696 on Mar 15, 2011 17:41:58
