(Ed. note: The Anubis Times has been renamed The Times of Anubis to honor the Hounds' first win)
By HARRY PRIVATES, The Times of Anubis
VALLEY OF THE KINGS (AP) -- The Hounds of Anubis finally gained a victory but nearly lost their star wide receiver in the process Thursday night during the second-ever football game at Valley of the Kings.
The Hounds (1-3) ended a three-game skid by turning to the passing game and scoring early, squeaking out a 16-13 win over the Liberia Hornhuskers (1-3).
Wide receiver Chase Matthews caught 10 passes for 141 yards and Anubis' only touchdown, one that almost turned out to be costly.
On the Hounds' second possession, quarterback DaQuantre Williams targeted Matthews twice before connected on the third straight try. Matthews slipped behind cornerback Duncan Aurelius, snagged a bullet from Williams out of the air in full stride at the Liberia 45 yard line, and scampered down the right sideline for a 65-yard TD reception.
Matthews, overcome with the excitement of scoring the team's first home touchdown, leapt into the hostile home crowd that occupies the end zones and is known as "The Sun Worshippers." Fortunately for Anubis, tight end Thug Vunderkint was trailing on the play and arrived in time to rescue Matthews from the fans, who were preparing to offer up the wide receiver as a sacrifice to Ra, the Egyptian sun god.
"Zat waz ee close won," Vunderkint said to reporters after the game.
Some critics have decried the team's home touchdown celebrations, which include an antique cannon shooting the nose off a replica Sphinx high above the goal posts in each end zone, and coordinated human sacrifice of any fan who tries to leave during the sometimes frenetic celebrations.
Team officials say they will look into toning down the celebrations after the incident with Matthews -- and amid reports that 23 fans were sacrificed immediately following the touchdown.
Matthews refused to talk about the incident after the game.
"It feels damn good to get a win," Matthews said after being asked about the attempted sacrifice for the fifth time. Instead he referred to the a fictional football league known as the NFL to give inspiration to his teammates. "The Giants lost their first couple games and they won a championship, so why can't the Hounds of Anubis?"
Regardless of the controversy, the Hounds' fans had reason for their frenzied behavior.
Frustrated with the running game, the team instead handed the ball to Williams -- who was playing just his second game for Anubis -- and told him to throw it as often as he liked. Williams responded by going 29-of-52 for 226 yards and the touchdown to Matthews. Also getting the fans excited was improved play by the offensive line, which gave Williams time to throw and didn't allow a sack. The quarterback was only hurried twice in his 52 pass attempts.
"Fo shiz," said team owner Hippie05. "Fo shiz."
Hounds kicker Billy Smith JR added three field goals, one in each of the first three quarters, hitting from 42, 19 and 48 yards as Anubis entered the fourth quarter with a 16-3 lead. The Hornhuskers attempted a late rally, getting a fourth quarter touchdown pass from Jason Ray Thompson to wide receiver Ross "The Boss" Pilkington that cut the score to 16-10.
But another deep drive was ended with 6:19 left in the game when Anubis linebacker Cornbread Horton jumped the snap count and streaked through the line on third-and-2, stuffing running back Thierno Dia for a 1-yard loss. Liberia opted to kick the field goal and cut the score to 16-13, hoping to get another chance to tie it before the final gun sounded -- but the Hornhuskers would not be able to get the ball back onto the Hounds side of the field again.
Anubis linebacker Marka Stary had an interception, eight tackles and one pass defensed to lead the Hounds' D.
The Hounds will play again Saturday, taking on the West Coast Warriors (1-3) who have lost three straight and been outscored in those games 95-10.
By HARRY PRIVATES, The Times of Anubis
VALLEY OF THE KINGS (AP) -- The Hounds of Anubis finally gained a victory but nearly lost their star wide receiver in the process Thursday night during the second-ever football game at Valley of the Kings.
The Hounds (1-3) ended a three-game skid by turning to the passing game and scoring early, squeaking out a 16-13 win over the Liberia Hornhuskers (1-3).
Wide receiver Chase Matthews caught 10 passes for 141 yards and Anubis' only touchdown, one that almost turned out to be costly.
On the Hounds' second possession, quarterback DaQuantre Williams targeted Matthews twice before connected on the third straight try. Matthews slipped behind cornerback Duncan Aurelius, snagged a bullet from Williams out of the air in full stride at the Liberia 45 yard line, and scampered down the right sideline for a 65-yard TD reception.
Matthews, overcome with the excitement of scoring the team's first home touchdown, leapt into the hostile home crowd that occupies the end zones and is known as "The Sun Worshippers." Fortunately for Anubis, tight end Thug Vunderkint was trailing on the play and arrived in time to rescue Matthews from the fans, who were preparing to offer up the wide receiver as a sacrifice to Ra, the Egyptian sun god.
"Zat waz ee close won," Vunderkint said to reporters after the game.
Some critics have decried the team's home touchdown celebrations, which include an antique cannon shooting the nose off a replica Sphinx high above the goal posts in each end zone, and coordinated human sacrifice of any fan who tries to leave during the sometimes frenetic celebrations.
Team officials say they will look into toning down the celebrations after the incident with Matthews -- and amid reports that 23 fans were sacrificed immediately following the touchdown.
Matthews refused to talk about the incident after the game.
"It feels damn good to get a win," Matthews said after being asked about the attempted sacrifice for the fifth time. Instead he referred to the a fictional football league known as the NFL to give inspiration to his teammates. "The Giants lost their first couple games and they won a championship, so why can't the Hounds of Anubis?"
Regardless of the controversy, the Hounds' fans had reason for their frenzied behavior.
Frustrated with the running game, the team instead handed the ball to Williams -- who was playing just his second game for Anubis -- and told him to throw it as often as he liked. Williams responded by going 29-of-52 for 226 yards and the touchdown to Matthews. Also getting the fans excited was improved play by the offensive line, which gave Williams time to throw and didn't allow a sack. The quarterback was only hurried twice in his 52 pass attempts.
"Fo shiz," said team owner Hippie05. "Fo shiz."
Hounds kicker Billy Smith JR added three field goals, one in each of the first three quarters, hitting from 42, 19 and 48 yards as Anubis entered the fourth quarter with a 16-3 lead. The Hornhuskers attempted a late rally, getting a fourth quarter touchdown pass from Jason Ray Thompson to wide receiver Ross "The Boss" Pilkington that cut the score to 16-10.
But another deep drive was ended with 6:19 left in the game when Anubis linebacker Cornbread Horton jumped the snap count and streaked through the line on third-and-2, stuffing running back Thierno Dia for a 1-yard loss. Liberia opted to kick the field goal and cut the score to 16-13, hoping to get another chance to tie it before the final gun sounded -- but the Hornhuskers would not be able to get the ball back onto the Hounds side of the field again.
Anubis linebacker Marka Stary had an interception, eight tackles and one pass defensed to lead the Hounds' D.
The Hounds will play again Saturday, taking on the West Coast Warriors (1-3) who have lost three straight and been outscored in those games 95-10.
Last edited Jun 19, 2008 22:49:33
