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Forum > Pro Leagues > SA's Sport's Page - Rankings and Predictions - Issue 16
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The final week of regular season play is just a little bit closer...................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2B62eF8pxo

Not much further left to go, so grab a hold of the nearest guy, girl or farm animal and make sweet, sweet, love to he/she or it, because some of you teams will not go any further after this one!


ALPHA HAS BEEN DECIDED!!!!
That's right, chuckle heads!!
All of the Alpha post season invitations have been sent out!
The NBA Jam has claimed the final playoff spot and we have our teams!
Congrats, Jam'ers!!

But, over in Zeta, the fight for that last coveted #8 spot has gone down to the wire.
The Smugglers and Dakar dragons have little hope and the Prophecy and MoD are the front runners in this race.
This last week of season 15 will decide who goes to the playoffs and who goes home!


SA's Player of the Week
And the POW goes to.....................
..............the TE of the Lincoln Navigators, Dylan I Spit Hot Fire!! Yay!!
Dylan caught both Lincoln TD's in a 26-17 win over the Masterminds. He caugt the 2nd TD pass midway through the 3rd to put the game out of reach!
Clutch shit, Dylan!!
So here's to you, Dylan I Spit Hot Fire..............................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Bayernhaus-01.jpg
SALUTE!!!


There are many company slogans out there.
Mento's has "The Freshmaker"
Coca-Cola has "Have a Coke and a smile"
Burger King has "Have it your way"
And now Ex-Lax has......................

.............................."LET'S DO THIS SHIT!!!"


...............true story.



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You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.

****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****

LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched

*#1 Chocolate Blaze (15-0) LW1 - Go on to the final GOW and unleash chocolate hell!
Next opponent: at #4 Providence Radicals (11-4)

*#2 East St Louis Tire Fires (12-3) LW2 - Aw jeez, have fun beating up the little league squad, you heartless bastards!
Next opponent: at #16 Graz Grizzlies (0-15)

*#3 Indianapolis Gurupies (11-4) LW5 - You guys could have a battle here. Your top 4 ranking could be in jeopardy. But you are playing Queen City. They care about three things there; dancing, fashion and watching Sex in the City. Just go in there wearing something that is SO last season and they might faint from the sight of such a fashion faux pas.
Next opponent: at #7 Queen City Black Cats (10-5)

*#4 Providence Radicals (11-4) LW6 - Sorry guys, but you are in the GOW......................SO GIVE'EM HELL!!
Next opponent: #1 Chocolate Blaze (15-0)

*#5 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (11-4) LW3 - Ahhhh, a nice crap team to earn your 12th win, it's nice to take it easy right before the playoffs.
Next opponent: at #12 La Tourette Syndrome (5-10)

*#6 Warsaw Wrath (11-4) LW4 - You guys really need to relax a bit. Why not take some of that Wrath out on the Garudas. They deserve it, they have been confusing people with the meaning of their name for years now and it's time somebody puts a stop to them!
And that somebody is you guys!
Next opponent: #11 Krungthep Garudas (6-9)

*#7 Queen City Black Cats (10-5) LW7 - Aww jeez, these guys are a tough team to beat, I mean really tough. The cool part is, that even if you lose, you won't drop any further, and if you win you won't go into the top 4. So wtf, why not skip the game and go off to the mall and do some shopping at the Gap or something.
Next opponent: #3 Indianapolis Gurupies (11-4)

*#8 NBA Jam (9-6) LW8 - CONGRATS!!!!
You guys did it! You secured that final playoff spot for yourselves and the invite is on the way!
This last game is pretty meaningless, so start getting ready for the Blaze in round 1........................sorry.
Next opponent: #14 Windhoek White Rhinos (3-12)

#9 Sparta Battle Chickens (6-9) LW9 - You've entered the Hot Chick Lounge and you guys are the special, the Hot Chick Hot Wings!
The just girls love sucking all the meat off the bone.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/11Claudia/Claudia-37.jpg
Next opponent: #13 October Wildfire (5-10)

#10 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (6-9) LW10 - Unless your wife is Megan Fox or Jessica Alba or some incredibly hot piece of ass, I say drop them and pick a new wife in the Hot Chick Lounge to carry around.
Hot Chick Lounge Hot Chicks are lightweight, disposable and fit into most overhead compartments on any airline.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/04Claudia/Claudia-16.jpg
Next opponent: at #15 Ghost Riders In The Sky (1-14)

#11 Krungthep Garudas (6-9) LW11 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/08Lauren/Lauren-17.jpg
Next opponent: at #6 Warsaw Wrath (11-4)

#12 La Tourette Syndrome (5-10) LW12 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/08Catalina/Catalina-36.jpg
Next opponent: #5 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (11-4)

#13 October Wildfire (5-10) LW13 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/07Trista/Trista-44.jpg
Next opponent: at #9 Sparta Battle Chickens (6-9)

#14 Windhoek White Rhinos (3-12) LW14 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/07Natalie/Natalie-35.jpg
Next opponent: at #8 NBA Jam (9-6)

#15 Ghost Riders In The Sky (1-14) LW15 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/05Stephanie/Stephanie-07.jpg
Next opponent: #10 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (6-9)

#16 Graz Grizzlies (0-15) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/06Krysten/Krysten-22.jpg
Next opponent: #2 East St Louis Tire Fires (12-3)


*****WEEK 16 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****

Here's my prediction record week by week.

Week 1: 7-1 Week 2: 6-2 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 7-1 Week 5: 5-3 Week 6: 6-2 Week 7: 7-1 Week 8: 7-1 Week 9: 5-3
Week 10: 6-2 Week 11: 5-3 Week 12: 6-2 Week 13: 7-1 Week 14: 6-2 Week 15: 7-1

Overall: 93-27
SA’s GOW: 9-6
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 8-7


#3 Indianapolis Gurupies (11-4) at #7 Queen City Black Cats (10-5) = Indianapolis Gurupies
Game Rating: 6/6 beers

#1 Chocolate Blaze (15-0) at #4 Providence Radicals (11-4) = Chocolate Blaze
Game Rating: 6/6 beers

#11 Krungthep Garudas (6-9) at #6 Warsaw Wrath (11-4) = Warsaw Wrath
Game Rating: 3/6 beers

#5 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (11-4) at #12 La Tourette Syndrome (5-10) = [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF]
Game Rating: 3/6 beers

#13 October Wildfire (5-10) at #9 Sparta Battle Chickens (6-9) = Sparta Battle Chickens
Game Rating: 3/6 beers

#14 Windhoek White Rhinos (3-12) at #8 NBA Jam (9-6) = NBA Jam
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#10 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (6-9) at #15 Ghost Riders In The Sky (1-14) = Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#2 East St Louis Tire Fires (12-3) at #16 Graz Grizzlies (0-15) = East St Louis Tire Fires
Game Rating: 1/6 beers


*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#1 Chocolate Blaze (15-0) at #4 Providence Radicals (11-4) -
It's time to play out the final Alpha GOW of season 15, chuckle heads!
We decided to bring these two teams together to play and we could regret this decision.
YES, this game could cause the destruction of the world as we know it!
But as long as I got porn, I'm good.
YES, this game could cause more brain damage than a Rosie O'Donnel sex tape!
But for some strange reason, I would probably still watch the tape two or three times. I'm sick. I need help.
YES, this game could just very well be the one that makes you believe that all the changes are better for ALL GLB-kind or make you say "Uhm, Bort? Do you mind sharing all the crack you buy with the flex we spend here with us for a bit, you crazy SOB"
I say "YES, this game is all of that AND the proverbial bag of potato chips!!"
Yo Bortilla the Hun!! What say you put down the Dunkin' Donuts and get to simmin' this bad boy already!!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Blaze beat the Radicals?
8 Ball's answer: Outlook not so good.
SA's Pick: Chocolate Blaze
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Providence Radicals

26/48 beers! – I won't lie to you. The only two games worth a squirt of beer is the GOW and the Indy/Queen City games.
The Radicals would like to stay in the top 4 for the playoffs, but will have to defeat the undefeated.
An Indy loss could send the Gurupies out of the top 4, so there is still plenty to play for.
It was an exciting season in Alpha and I must have went through a couple dozen boxes of Kleenex and many bottles of lotion, but the playoffs start up right after this week so get to Walgreen's and get restocked!!


Let’s do this shit!!

Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!

____________________________________________________________________________


****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****

LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched

*#1 Valhalla (15-0) LW1 - Not only are you guys the #1 team in all the land, but you get to crush the hopes and dreams of a team in the final game of the regular season.
It's good to be king.
Next opponent: #10 Dakar Dragons (6-9)

*#2 So Cal BDC (13-2) LW3 - Not only are you guys the #2 team in all the land, but you get to crush the hopes and dreams of a team in the final game of the regular season.
It's good to be #2.
Why does that sound so familiar?..........................oh yeah! See above.
Next opponent: at #11 Porto Alegre Smugglers (6-9)

*#3 Lincoln Navigators (12-3) LW4 - You can secure your top 4 spot with a win right here.
Next opponent: at #7 Moose Jaw Roughriders (10-5)

*#4 Minneapolis Masterminds (12-3) LW2 - You are in the final GOW of the regular season, don't disappoint.
Next opponent: #5 Cincinnati Shockers (11-4)

*#5 Cincinnati Shockers (11-4) LW5 - Go do your thing in the GOW, Shockers!
Next opponent: at #4 Minneapolis Masterminds (12-3)

*#6 Bonn Dynamo (10-5) LW6 - 10 wins and..............oooops, you're playing Sofia..........11 wins and in the playoffs, what a great way to end the regular season.
Next opponent: #13 Sofia Spiders (3-12)

*#7 Moose Jaw Roughriders (10-5) LW7 - Well if you win, you aren't moving up because Bonn is playing Sofia.
If you lose, you can't drop because you have the win over the Prophecy.
Why not go find some nice internet porn to keep you busy until playoffs.
Next opponent: #3 Lincoln Navigators (12-3)

#8 Mayan Prophecy (6-9) LW8 - You are 6-9, you have the win over the MoD and you are playing Korb.
What's the address I can send the invitation for the playoffs to?
Next opponent: at #14 Korb Destroyers (2-13)

#9 Ministry of Dotball (6-9) LW11 - Well, great run MoD. You made me pull you out of the HCL for a final run at the #8 spot and you didn't disappoint.
A win over College Town is almost assured and that would give you 7 wins, but you guys lost to the Prophecy and they are playing Korb.
Either pray for a miracle or pray for a reduced rate on air fare to the Hot Chick Lounge.
Next opponent: at #12 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (4-11)

#10 Dakar Dragons (6-9) LW9 - Well you guys are playing Valhalla, so your chances of making the playoffs are slim to none.
"Slim" just left to get a six pack and "none" is talking to a hooker to have something to do for the playoffs.
Next opponent: at #1 Valhalla (15-0)

#11 Porto Alegre Smugglers (6-9) LW10 - OK, it's about time you guys hung it up. SoCal is up next, which means a loss, and a 6-10 record won't do it.
The only thing that can save you guys is:
1) A Christmas miracle. (it's May, so don't count on it)
2) Or by an act of God hisself. (God hasn't been in Porto Alegre for years and I don't think he will start now)
Next opponent: #2 So Cal BDC (13-2)

#12 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (4-11) LW12 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/10Claudia/Claudia-43.jpg
Next opponent: #9 Ministry of Dotball (6-9)

#13 Sofia Spiders (3-12) LW13 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/02Alexis/Alexis-24.jpg
Next opponent: at #6 Bonn Dynamo (10-5)

#14 Korb Destroyers (2-13) LW14 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/03Crystal/Crystal-12.jpg
Next opponent: #8 Mayan Prophecy (6-9)

#15 C-Town Hoodlums (2-13) LW15 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/12Carole/Carole-31.jpg
Next opponent: at #16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-15)

#16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-15) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/05Tina/Tina-32.jpg
Next opponent: #15 C-Town Hoodlums (2-13)


*****WEEK 16 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****

Here's my prediction record week by week.

Week 1: 4-4 Week 2: 4-4 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 6-2 Week 5: 5-3 Week 6: 8-0 Week 7: 7-1 Week 8: 8-0 Week 9: 8-0
Week 10: 7-1Week 11: 7-1 Week 12: 7-1 Week 13: 7-1 Week 14: 7-1 Week 15: 6-2

Overall: 97-23
SA’s GOW: 12-3
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 7-8

#9 Ministry of Dotball (6-9) at #12 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (4-11) = Ministry of Dotball
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#2 So Cal BDC (13-2) at #11 Porto Alegre Smugglers (6-9) = So Cal BDC
Game Rating: 3/6 beers

#5 Cincinnati Shockers (11-4) at #4 Minneapolis Masterminds (12-3) = Minneapolis Masterminds
Game Rating: 6/6 beers

#3 Lincoln Navigators (12-3) at #7 Moose Jaw Roughriders (10-5) = Lincoln Navigators
Game Rating: 6/6 beers

#8 Mayan Prophecy (6-9) at #14 Korb Destroyers (2-13) = Mayan Prophecy
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#13 Sofia Spiders (3-12) at #6 Bonn Dynamo (10-5) = Bonn Dynamo
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#15 C-Town Hoodlums (2-13) at #16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-15) = C-Town Hoodlums
Game Rating: 1/6 beers

#10 Dakar Dragons (6-9) at #1 Valhalla (15-0) = Valhalla
Game Rating: 3/6 beers


*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#5 Cincinnati Shockers (11-4) at #4 Minneapolis Masterminds (12-3) -
THIS IS IT!!
The LAST GOW of the season!!
And we got two awesome teams to provide us with the destruction and mayhem we've come to love and expect every week from GLB!!
No dot shall be left alive on the losing team!
No dot shall be able to call "times out" in this one!
No dot shall take time to change their diapers!
No dot shall call for their mommy in this one!
It's every dot for hisself and there is no quarter given!
Yo Bortolius Caesar!! Thumbs up or thumbs down? That's what I thought.
LET'S DO THIS SHIT ONE LAST TIME!!!!!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Shockers beat the Masterminds?
8 Ball's answer: It is decidedly so.
SA's Pick: Minneapolis Masterminds
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Cincinnati Shockers

25/48 beers! – Some excitement in this final week of regular season match ups!
Dakar? Done.
Porto Alegre? Done.
It's just Mod and the Mayan Prophecy, so keep an eye on their games!
Lincoln would love to start round 1 as a top 4 team and a win here would do it!
And in the GOW, it's a fight for a top 4 spot right before playoffs begin!
How's that for GLB entertainment?
Are you not entertained?!
Are you not entertained?!?!
Yes?.........oh, OK.


Let’s do this shit!!

Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
Edited by Smiling Assasain on May 7, 2010 17:29:35
Edited by Smiling Assasain on May 7, 2010 14:35:44
Edited by Smiling Assasain on May 7, 2010 14:32:55
Edited by Smiling Assasain on May 7, 2010 14:31:46
Edited by Smiling Assasain on May 7, 2010 14:30:36
 
Moondog22
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i know i aint in the WL at the moment. but dayyyyyuuuummmm i loved this weeks edition of HCL
 
Ubasstards
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mcallero
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As always, write up was extremely entertaining and well done. You single handedly inspired Mayan to make a run for the 8th spot, just in hopes of reading your posts next season.

Thanks for doing them man.
 
glwarriors
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Great work SA.

Looking forward to the Sport Page Playoff Edition.
 
seahawk10
Last name Wilson
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markm6770
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Everytime you've picked against Providence in the GOTW we've made you pay. We've got our hands full this time, but hoping we can continue the trend.

Great write up.


 
refguru
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Originally posted by markm6770
Everytime you've picked against Providence in the GOTW we've made you pay. We've got our hands full this time, but hoping we can continue the trend.

Great write up.




Well you cost me 10K flex for picking for you last week, so once bitten twice shy.
 
Octowned
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If Wildfire upsets Sparta, "lol-Wildfire" ends up with the 9 seed, most likely.
Big IF though, and quite unlikely given we haven't changed the AI in a few weeks
 
Dpride59
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So if blaze lose Hali gets a 5tg seed?
 
KingDan23
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Originally posted by David Stern
So if blaze lose Hali gets a 5tg seed?


There would be a 4 way tie (assuming everyone else wins) and I cba to figure out how it would look then.
 
Shalubis
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GL Shockers. Home field advantage likely at stake.
 
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Originally posted by Shalubis
GL Shockers. Home field advantage likely at stake.


valuable playoff revenue that will be reset next season could be lost. >_>
 
Shalubis
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petty details...
 
bhall43
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Originally posted by Octowned
If Wildfire upsets Sparta, "lol-Wildfire" ends up with the 9 seed, most likely.
Big IF though, and quite unlikely given we haven't changed the AI in a few weeks


We get it already....the wildfire aren't trying....
 
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