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Forum > Pro Leagues > SA's Sport's Page - Rankings and Predictions - Issue 10
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Can you believe we have all survived to make it to week 11?!
It is one magic moment....................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpePWo56zm4

and speaking of "magic moments"...............

NFL Draft
Tebow?
Tim Tebow?
Tim Tebow to Denver in Round 1?!?!

For those that don't know, I am a huge Denver Bronco fan, but really.......................Tim Tebow?

Where's the Vodka and Pepto?

Hope your favorite team did well in the draft, mine didn't imo.


Financial News
Well some teams have given in to the recent terrible economy and some have prospered and some just took the bail out and ran off to the Caribbean.
But ol' SA has some tips that could put some money in your pocket or maybe put more money in Bort's pocket to buy flex and better your team.

In Alpha.........
Invest some flex in Hurf and Durf. These guys have turned things around since week 5 and are riding a 5 game win streak!
None of the teams they have beat are top notch teams, but with only Warsaw left to play on the schedule, you can bet that these guys are a sure thing for the playoffs.......
.........and you all know how I just love a "sure thing".
But stay away from the Sparta Battle Chickens. With the Blaze, ESL and Indy all left to play, plus Hurf and Durf, and La Tourette, it could be a big downward spiral.
They are already on a two game L streak and I don't forecast them righting the ship to make the playoffs.

In Zeta, buy SoCal now! They are a lock for the playoffs plus they have a shot at the #1 seat coming up against Valhalla! They could potentially be the next big thing, unless of course they fall to Dakar.
And speaking of Dakar, drop your stock in them now! Three losses in a row, SoCal, MoD, Prophecy, C-Town, Bonn and Valhalla all left on the schedule. (If they can lose to Sofia, then C-Town definitely has a shot too)
I don't see enough wins coming their way to make a legit run at the playoffs.

Hopefully you prosper from these financial tips and come away with a windfall. Just remember to send a little kickback my way.


SA's Player of the Week
And the POW goes to.....................
Ministry Of Dotball HB, D League HB!!! Yay!!!
D League HB ran all over the Hood in a 51-41 shootout. He rushed for 117 yards on 9 carries, 3 for TD's and had 3 receptions for 90 yards with 2 of the catches being TD's!
That was one helluva' all around effort by one D League HB!!!
So here's to you, D League HB..............................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Bayernhaus-01.jpg
SALUTE!!!


An SA Fairy Tale.
When the seven dwarfs came home from a hard days work in the mines and saw Snow White fast asleep in their bed, happy yelled out
"Snow White fell asleep in the wrong house 'cause we are gonna' tap dat royal white as snow ass, so.............................

..............................LET'S DO THIS SHIT!!!"


...................true story, chuckle heads.



You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.

****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****

LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched

#1 Chocolate Blaze (10-0) LW1 - NBA Jam and the Ghost Riders are left to play before the Warsaw game. The Jam are the only team that might give you trouble until the big showdown with Warsaw, so get the win and let's see the big clash we've all been waiting for.
Next opponent: #8 NBA Jam (5-5)

#2 Warsaw Wrath (9-1) LW2 - GOW or bust!!
Next opponent: at #3 East St Louis Tire Fires (8-2)

#3 East St Louis Tire Fires (8-2) LW3 - It's GOW time for you guys!!
Next opponent: #2 Warsaw Wrath (9-1)

#4 Indianapolis Gurupies (8-2) LW4 - You shouldn't have much trouble with the Rhino's, grab the win and head for the Jam'ers.
Next opponent: #14 Windhoek White Rhinos (2-8)

#5 Providence Radicals (8-2) LW5 - This game is definitely worthy of a GOW, it's just too bad it's at the same time as Warsaw/ESL.
but it's a game you have to win, none the less.
Queen City has lost only once in the last 8 games and you guys are on a 5 game win streak.
Maybe we should make this game "GOW, subsection B".
Next opponent: #7 Queen City Black Cats (7-3)

#6 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (7-3) LW6 - You guys really turned things around with five.......uhm, I mean SIX straight wins coming up.
Next opponent: #15 Ghost Riders In The Sky (1-9)

#7 Queen City Black Cats (7-3) LW7 - How did you guys enjoy your day of shopping?
Good.
Put your Gucci handbags and Prada shoes away, put on your best Sunday dress and hit the field, because the Radicals are waiting you and this is an important game for you city queens.
Next opponent: at #5 Providence Radicals (8-2)

#8 NBA Jam (5-5) LW8 - Oy.
I wish I had better news for you Jam'ers, but the Blaze and Gurupies are both up[ next and it could mean two losses.
But the good news is you get some relatively easy games to play in the last 4.
A shot at 9-7 is still not out of your reach, it's just an uber dunk away.
Next opponent: at #1 Chocolate Blaze (10-0)

#9 Sparta Battle Chickens (5-5) LW9 - Still on a tough stretch of games, you gotta' win one sooner or later.................why not do it sooner than later.
Next opponent: at #10 La Tourette Syndrome (4-6)

#10 La Tourette Syndrome (4-6) LW10 - You need 5 wins in the final 6 games to have a chance. You could pull off wins in 5 of those 6, just don't count on ESL being a win. As long as you guys keep winning, your chances are still alive.
Next opponent: #9 Sparta Battle Chickens (5-5)

#11 Krungthep Garudas (3-7) LW14 - It's the start of a win streak!!! Yay!!
And you guys will need to run it out if you want in the post season dance!
Next opponent: #16 Graz Grizzlies (0-10)

#12 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (3-7) LW11 - You HAVE to run the table to make a grab at that #8 spot in the playoffs.
It's do or go to Arby's for you Wife Carriers.
Next opponent: at #13 October Wildfire (2-8)

#13 October Wildfire (2-8) LW12 - Okie dokie, you guys met your match.................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/smokey-the-bear-classic.jpg
....but in the Hot Chick Lounge ol' Smokey will be more like this................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/smokey-the-bear-copy2.jpg
The Wildfire is moving to the Hot Chick Lounge to get doused, I just hope the dousing isn't by way of a golden shower. You sick pervs!!!
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2002/07stefania/Stefania-35.jpg
Next opponent: #12 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (3-7)

#14 Windhoek White Rhinos (2-8) LW13 - It's time to put the White Rhino's into an endangered species game reserve, otherwise known as the Hot Chick Lounge.
I'm sure the girls will enjoy riding the rhino.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2002/01jillian/Jillian-12.jpg
Next opponent: at #4 Indianapolis Gurupies (8-2)

#15 Ghost Riders In The Sky (1-9) LW15 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2002/03donna/Donna-22.jpg
Next opponent: at #6 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (7-3)

#16 Graz Grizzlies (0-10) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2002/04jill/Jill-24.jpg
Next opponent: at #11 Krungthep Garudas (3-7)


*****WEEK 11 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****

Here's my prediction record week by week.

Week 1: 7-1 Week 2: 6-2 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 7-1 Week 5: 5-3 Week 6: 6-2 Week 7: 7-1 Week 8: 7-1 Week 9: 5-3
Week 10: 6-2

Overall: 62-18
SA’s GOW: 8-2
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 5-5


#16 Graz Grizzlies (0-10) at #11 Krungthep Garudas (3-7) = Krungthep Garudas
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#12 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (3-7) at #13 October Wildfire (2-8) = Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#9 Sparta Battle Chickens (5-5) at #10 La Tourette Syndrome (4-6) = Sparta Battle Chickens
Game Rating: 3/6 beers

#15 Ghost Riders In The Sky (1-9) at #6 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (7-3) = [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF]
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#7 Queen City Black Cats (7-3) at #5 Providence Radicals (8-2) = Providence Radicals
Game Rating: 5/6 beers

#14 Windhoek White Rhinos (2-8) at #4 Indianapolis Gurupies (8-2) = Indianapolis Gurupies
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#2 Warsaw Wrath (9-1) at #3 East St Louis Tire Fires (8-2) = East St Louis Tire Fires
Game Rating: 6/6 beers

#8 NBA Jam (5-5) at #1 Chocolate Blaze (10-0) = Chocolate Blaze
Game Rating: 4/6 beers


*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#2 Warsaw Wrath (9-1) at #3 East St Louis Tire Fires (8-2) -
If you can't get excited for this one..........................WTF ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?!?!
ESL vs Warsaw!!
The good Lord saw fit to create two bad asses and throw them in the ring to tear each others guts out!!!
Tire Fires vs Wrath! Sounds like a god dam monster movie to me!!!
Everything will be allowed in this one, EXCEPT:
Waiting until 2 AM outside the opponents house, then sneaking in the back bedroom window where the slutty sister was expecting you and thoroughly having your way with her, then after wards go down to the kitchen and help yourself to left over pot roast and chocolate cake and only leaving a sip of milk in the container, then heading to every room in the house that has a clock and setting it ahead one hour so the opposing team misses the GOW.
Just knowing that you guys would actually attempt such a thing makes SA sad.....................very, very sad indeed.
Yo Bort! It's time to get this thing goin', so go to MickeyD's later and get to GLB HQ to sim this bitch already!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Wrath beat the Tire Fires?
8 Ball's answer: It is certain.
SA's Pick: East St Louis Tire Fires
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Warsaw Wrath

26/48 beers! – Four hard core, big ass games that are on the slate for week 11 in Alpha!
So make your beer run's early!
Sparta vs La Tourette!
Queen City vs Providence!
NBA Jam vs Blaze!
And a GOW that features ESL vs Warsaw!
Somebody catch me, I think I might faint! Get Megan Fox in here to give me mouth to mouth!! (or mouth to anywhere else she pleases, for that matter)


Let’s do this shit!!

Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!

____________________________________________________________________________


****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****

LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched

#1 Valhalla (10-0) LW1 - Have you guys moved into Thunder Dome!! or what?!?!
Get ready for another GOW!!
Next opponent: at #6 Cincinnati Shockers (7-3)

#2 So Cal BDC (9-1) LW2 - Get past the Dragons and then a HUGE showdown awaits you.
Next opponent: #8 Dakar Dragons (5-5)

#3 Minneapolis Masterminds (8-2) LW3 - Let's face it. You guys are good to go until you meet Moose Jaw, so I won't waste time here and just wait for that game to come up.
Enjoy the wins until then.
Ho hum...................waiting........................still waiting...................even more waiting...................
Next opponent: #9 Porto Alegre Smugglers (5-5)

#4 Moose Jaw Roughriders (7-3) LW5 - Are you guys enjoying these wins yet?
Well have another, Machu Picchu is up next.
Next opponent: #16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-10)

#5 Lincoln Navigators (7-3) LW4 - Get ready for loss number 4........................HAH! Just kidding!
Like you guys would lose against the Destroyers.
Enjoy the next three games as you go on....................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RHTiXvELNg
.....................VACATION!!!!!!
You are going to relax from the daily grind of game planning and just get the wins in Korb, College Town and Maccho Pico de gallo!
Just make sure you get a tune up and oil change for the Smugglers when you come back.
Hasta lou eggo!...................or whatever they say in Korb.
Next opponent: #12 Korb Destroyers (2-8)

#6 Cincinnati Shockers (7-3) LW6 - It's your turn to challenge Valhalla in the GOW!!
Next opponent: #1 Valhalla (10-0)

#7 Bonn Dynamo (6-4) LW9 - Well, I won't lie to you...................ok, who am I kidding, of course I am going to lie to you, but this time I am telling you the truth.
This is a pretty important game.
The only team I was sure you would beat was Sofia, but even they are turning up the heat. So none of your games are to be considered easy anymore.
MoD and Maya are very capable of scoring a win, so you will have a rough final 6 ahead of you and you still need to make the playoffs!!
But don't worry. To get you through these troubling times I've brought in two things Germans love (and so do I)......blonds and beer.
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/german-girls.jpg
Next opponent: at #10 Ministry of Dotball (4-6)

#8 Dakar Dragons (5-5) LW7 - It isn't over yet for the dragons, making the playoffs is all up to you guys. There are still plenty of teams you can beat to get enough wins to make the big dance, it's just that SoCal is NOT one of them.
Next opponent: at #2 So Cal BDC (9-1)

#9 Porto Alegre Smugglers (5-5) LW8 - Oh......................shit.
You guys can go ahead and try to win these last 6 games, but it will be to no avail.
Minneapolis, Moose Jaw, Lincoln, Cincinnati and SoCal all in the last 6 games?
Which schedule maker did you piss off? Sheesh.
See you in the Lounge real soon.
Next opponent: at #3 Minneapolis Masterminds (8-2)

#10 Ministry of Dotball (4-6) LW10 - The next 2 games may not look so tough, but these are HUGE games for the MoD.
Lose these next 2 games and you can head straight to the Lounge.
My advice, just don't lose. Gosh!
Next opponent: #7 Bonn Dynamo (6-4)

#11 Mayan Prophecy (3-7) LW11 - It won't be long before you guys are in the Lounge.
You will be mine.
Oh yes, you will be mine.
Next opponent: at #15 C-Town Hoodlums (1-9)

#12 Korb Destroyers (2-8) LW15 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2002/10mandy/Mandy-19.jpg
Next opponent: at #5 Lincoln Navigators (7-3)

#13 Sofia Spiders (2-8) LW12 - Sorry Spiders, but it is time to put your eight limbs to good use in the Hot Chick Lounge. I'll have to hire more girls to satisfy all you spiders.
Thanks for playing.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2002/06sarah/Sarah-05.jpg
Next opponent: #14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (2-8)

#14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (2-8) LW13 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2002/09amberlena/Amberlena-32.jpg
Next opponent: at #13 Sofia Spiders (2-8)

#15 C-Town Hoodlums (1-9) LW14 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2002/11destiny/Destiny-35.jpg
Next opponent: #11 Mayan Prophecy (3-7)

#16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-10) LW16 - Click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2002/02debi/Debi-11.jpg
Next opponent: at


*****WEEK 11 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****

Here's my prediction record week by week.

Week 1: 4-4 Week 2: 4-4 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 6-2 Week 5: 5-3 Week 6: 8-0 Week 7: 7-1 Week 8: 8-0 Week 9: 8-0
Week 10: 7-1

Overall: 63-17
SA’s GOW: 9-1
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 5-5


#14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (2-8) at #13 Sofia Spiders (2-8) = Sofia Spiders
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#11 Mayan Prophecy (3-7) at #15 C-Town Hoodlums (1-9) = Mayan Prophecy
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#7 Bonn Dynamo (6-4) at #10 Ministry of Dotball (4-6) = Bonn Dynamo
Game Rating: 4/6 beers

#16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-10) #4 Moose Jaw Roughriders (7-3) = Moose Jaw Roughriders
Game Rating: 1/6 beers

#12 Korb Destroyers (2-8) at #5 Lincoln Navigators (7-3) = Lincoln Navigators
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#9 Porto Alegre Smugglers (5-5) at #3 Minneapolis Masterminds (8-2) = Minneapolis Masterminds
Game Rating: 4/6 beers

#8 Dakar Dragons (5-5) at #2 So Cal BDC (9-1) = So Cal BDC
Game Rating: 5/6 beers

#1 Valhalla (10-0) at #6 Cincinnati Shockers (7-3) = Valhalla
Game Rating: 6/6 beers


*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#1 Valhalla (10-0) at #6 Cincinnati Shockers (7-3) -
It's time to play another round of "Who Just Lost to Valhalla?"
Look, I got faith in the Shockers vs the Prophecy, or vs the Mod, or vs Bonn, but Valhalla?
Sorry dudes, I'll pray for ya' , but sometimes Santa just doesn't bring what you ask for.
So I am asking the rest of the league to chip in for a nice funeral service for the Shockers. I think a mahogany casket is very nice and maybe have Lady Gaga perform at the funeral half time festivities, plus it's always nice to have a tasty buffet too, maybe Popeye's chicken or some fine Cincinnati sausage.
Anything goes, because Cincy will need any help they can get.
Yo Bort! Take your time sim'in' this one, let Cincy enjoy their final moments on Earth.
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Valhalla beat the Shockers?
8 Ball's answer: Signs point to yes.
SA's Pick: Valhalla
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Valhalla

26/48 beers! – Zeta has 4 fine matches to choose from this week, they all would go well with an 1985 Paul Meyer Sauvignon Blanc.
Bonn takes on the MoD!
The Smugglers go at it with the Masterminds!
The Dragons battle SoCal!
And the Cincinnati shockers go to the GOW to try and unseat Valhalla and their 35 game win streak!
Make sure the you have cleared your day for this one, because you do NOT want to miss one fun filled, action packed second of dot on dot action!!!


Let’s do this shit!!

Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!
Edited by Smiling Assasain on Apr 27, 2010 11:06:08
 
rjssob
HOOD
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Now Donna makes this day much better....
 
NiborRis
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Good job as always - was eagerly awaiting our entrance into the HCL, did not disappoint.
 
boondocksaint
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Where's Magneto when ya need him?
 
Ubasstards
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Hood
 
glwarriors
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Another great write-up SA.

Hope we are worthy of the GOW honor.




 
NiborRis
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Zeta GOW will get recapped in the Addicts Tournament round of 16 soon, too. (assuming Valhalla takes care of business vs MEM tomorrow AM)
 
dimmy finster
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love those pics!!
 
n:iceman:16
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inb4blazethrowgame
 
Jack Del Rio
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need moar dick pics
 
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Originally posted by Jack Del Rio
need moar dick pics


Sounds more like a preference than a need.

And you're sick.
 
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Originally posted by Jack Del Rio
need moar dick pics


O.............M..............G..............

........... well, the Sport's Page does aim to please, so instead of the Hot Chick Lounge, next week we will have the Hot Dick Lounge.


It's a first for the Sport's Page and a new low in depravity. LOL
 
Dlux67
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Originally posted by Smiling Assasain
O.............M..............G..............

........... well, the Sport's Page does aim to please, so instead of the Hot Chick Lounge, next week we will have the Hot Dick Lounge.


It's a first for the Sport's Page and a new low in depravity. LOL


I hear Nickole is waiting for a call....
 
joemiken
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High five for us getting closer to beating Valhalla than anyone else this season. lol
 
bhall43
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Originally posted by joemiken
High five for us getting closer to beating Valhalla than anyone else this season. lol


http://goallineblitz.com/game/game.pl?game_id=1178148

not that I am at all proud of that end score...
 
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