Warrior General Games

Let's face it, if you have the GLBalls to play this game and make it to week 5, then you must have the spirit of GLB in your ass.....................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Tq-UsaRchI

Welcome to week 5, chuckle heads!!
This is the point in the season where teams are either rising to the challenge or falling to their knees and blowing the ones that are rising!
Please wear your knee pads.

Only 3 undefeated teams left in the entire kingdom and it could be a long while until they do drop a game into the L column!
Big news!
We have our first HCL (Hot Chick Lounge) entry of the season!
So if you have already played that team, please tell them thank you for the win.
And if you haven't played them yet, please tell them thank you for the upcoming win.

Dam I love the smell of GLB in the evening!
It's kind of like not showering the day after some marathon sex, you feel so good, yet so naughty at the same time.
It's like I learned in prison, "A mouth is a mouth, but a hole is even better."
Words to live by.

So let's get on to week 5, chuckle heads!!!


THE HOT CHICK LOUNGE!
YES!!!!
We have our first official entrant into the Hot Chick Lounge and the invitation goes to.....................
The Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons!
Getting crushed week after week is no fun to watch and you guys will be much safer in the cozy confines of the Lounge.
Nurse a beer and get lost in the arms of many trashy women of your choice, but just please stay away from playing anymore dotball this season.
As promised, the request of Dlux has been honored and Nick/Nicole is the very first trashy lady to appear this season.
Thanks, Dluix!


SA's Player of the Week
And the POW goes to.....................
The return man of the Providence Radicals, Phantasm Sphere! Yay!
Phantasm returned a KR and a PR for TD's, back to back, to put the Radicals ahead by 11 and help put the game out of reach in a 41-37 win over the Garudas.
Great clutch performance!
So here's to you, Phantasm Sphere..............................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Warsteiner_4a9ec543d47f2.jpg
SALUTE!!!


True story.
The original lyrics to "Give Peace A Chance", by John Lennon was.......................
"All we are saying, is..............................


..............................LET'S DO THIS SHIT!!!



You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.

****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****

LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched

#1 Chocolate Blaze (4-0) LW1 - I would like to start a Save the bears campaign right here, right now. Because the Blaze is about to exterminate them.
SAVE THE BEARS! SAVE THE BEARS! SAVE THE BEARS!
Next opponent: #16 Graz Grizzlies (0-4)

#2 Warsaw Wrath (4-0) LW2 - You guys are playing like you are just super pissed off at something.
Well, you are the Wrath, i guess.
Next opponent: #15 Ghost Riders In The Sky (1-3)

#3 East St Louis Tire Fires (3-1) LW8 - If I had to describe the Wildfire's play right now it wouldn't be a wild fire, it would be more like lighting a fart on fire...............
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6yvtC8nWS8
.......sure it stinks a bit, but it's gone after a couple seconds.
Next opponent: #14 October Wildfire (1-3)

#4 Indianapolis Gurupies (3-1) LW3 - It's time to go play in the GOW!
Next opponent: at #10 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (2-2)

#5 Providence Radicals (3-1) LW5 - OK, you guys can take a break from being all radical and shit.
Why?
The Wife Carriers are in town, that's why.
Next opponent: #13 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (1-3)

#6 Sparta Battle Chickens (3-1) LW7 - I've heard of a lot of types of chickens, like frying chickens, roasting chickens, choking chickens, but battle chickens are by far the toughest of all chickens.
Way to go.
Next opponent: #11 NBA Jam (2-2)

#7 Queen City Black Cats (2-2) LW10 - Well this is a nice surprise. You Cats pulled yourselves out of the dredges and are sitting on a 2-2 record, nicely done.
So 2 wins in a row could be the start of a nice 14 game win streak, prolly not but might as well go for broke because what else have you got to do for the next couple of weeks?
Next opponent: #12 Windhoek White Rhinos (1-3)

#8 La Tourette Syndrome (2-2) LW14 - Finally you guys got that win to even you up at 2-2.
That makes a good start on that 13 game win streak you've been dreaming about.
Next opponent: #9 Krungthep Garudas (2-2)

#9 Krungthep Garudas (2-2) LW9 - We need a quick turn around here! 2-0 to 2-2 isa not good at all.
Let's go beat up on some disabled punks like La Tourette.
Next opponent: at #8 La Tourette Syndrome (2-2)

#10 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (2-2) LW6 - GOW time!
Next opponent: #4 Indianapolis Gurupies (3-1)

#11 NBA Jam (2-2) LW4 - I dunno' how to keep you guys on the winning track.
One way would be to start passing to your WR more.
Yeah, get your balls to Yourmoms Box!
http://goallineblitz.com/game/player.pl?player_id=837059
I'm sure she knows what to do with any balls that comes her way.
Next opponent: at #6 Sparta Battle Chickens (3-1)

#12 Windhoek White Rhinos (1-3) LW11 - Even though the Black Cats are on a roll, you still got a shot at the win.
You really need this one to get back to winning and to go for a low playoff spot.
Next opponent: at #7 Queen City Black Cats (2-2)

#13 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (1-3) LW13 - So far it's been loss after loss after loss..................get ready for another.
Next opponent: at #5 Providence Radicals (3-1)

#14 October Wildfire (1-3) LW12 - I don't think your fire will out do a tire fire.
But look at the bright side, you get to play the grizzlies in week 9! That's just 4 quick losses away!
Next opponent: at #3 East St Louis Tire Fires (3-1)

#15 Ghost Riders In The Sky (1-3) LW16 - Congrats on the 1st win of the season!
Now we need a second win!
And your next shot at win #2 should be week 16 against Honolulu.....................sorry dudes.
Next opponent: at #2 Warsaw Wrath (4-0)

#16 Graz Grizzlies (0-4) LW15 - Oh dude, it's best if you bears go into hibernation a little early......................no, make that a LOT early.
Next opponent: at #1 Chocolate Blaze (4-0)


*****WEEK 5 ALPHA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****

Here's my prediction record week by week.

Week 1: 7-1 Week 2: 6-2 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 7-1

Overall: 26-6
SA’s GOW: 4-0
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 3-1


#9 Krungthep Garudas (2-2) at #8 La Tourette Syndrome (2-2) = Krungthep Garudas
Game Rating: 4/6 beers

#12 Windhoek White Rhinos (1-3) at #7 Queen City Black Cats (2-2) = Queen City Black Cats
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#11 NBA Jam (2-2) at #6 Sparta Battle Chickens (3-1) = Sparta Battle Chickens
Game Rating: 4/6 beers

#4 Indianapolis Gurupies (3-1) at #10 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (2-2) = Indianapolis Gurupies
Game Rating: 6/6 beers

#13 Honolulu Hurricane Wife Carriers (1-3) at #5 Providence Radicals (3-1) = Providence Radicals
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#14 October Wildfire (1-3) at #3 East St Louis Tire Fires (3-1) = East St Louis Tire Fires
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#15 Ghost Riders In The Sky (1-3) at #2 Warsaw Wrath (4-0) = Warsaw Wrath
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#16 Graz Grizzlies (0-4) at #1 Chocolate Blaze (4-0) = Chocolate Blaze
Game Rating: 1/6 beers


*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#4 Indianapolis Gurupies (3-1) at #10 [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF] (2-2) -
#4 vs..........................#10?
Well if that's what it is, then that's what it is.
OK, let's try this again.........................
#4 vs #10!!
Indy takes on.................[HURF].....and.....uhm........ [/DURF]......
Indy is a top 4 team and lookin' to contend for the title!
[HURF] n' stuff are really glad to be here!!
If H&D can get a win here, they will be moving up fast!
If Indy loses..........well, that prolly won't happen.
Maybe we should all just head to Zeta and catch that GOW.
Yo Bort! You comin' with?
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the Gurupies beat the [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF]?
8 Ball's answer: My reply is no.
SA's Pick: Indianapolis Gurupies
Magic 8 Ball Pick: [HURF]ifax Explo[/DURF]

23/48 beers! – Not the greatest match ups in the world of GLB, but hey, sometimes you gotta' buy light beer.
So...................
This week, buy the cheap shit. Get the Milwaukee's Beast or the Bud Light or Busch, Coors Light, or some King Kobra. Just don't waste your money on the imports this week.
The NBA Jam and the Sparta Battle Chickens will duke it out this week and the GOW has Indy taking on [HURF] and [/DURF].
So let's not get too crazy.
Maybe save your strength for next week.


Let’s do this shit!!

Good luck to all the teams in the Alpha!

____________________________________________________________________________


****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****

LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched

#1 Valhalla (4-0) LW1 - Well this is why the civilization of Machu Picchu disappeared.
They played Valhalla.
Next opponent: at #16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-4)

#2 Minneapolis Masterminds (3-1) LW3 - To beat the Prophecy, you Masterminds will have to stay 1 step ahead of them at all times. They have a prophecy to go by for Pete's sake, so you'll have to!
The best way to beat them is to do the totally unexpected, like kicking them in the nads.
Next opponent: #9 Mayan Prophecy (2-2)

#3 Lincoln Navigators (3-1) LW4 - Use On-Star to get you to the GOW this week.
Next opponent: #5 So Cal BDC (3-1)

#4 Dakar Dragons (3-1) LW5 - Somehow you guys managed to go 3-1 and make the top 4.
Enjoy it, because it may only last another week.
Your big test will be against the Masterminds in week 6.
Next opponent: at #8 Porto Alegre Smugglers (2-2)

#5 So Cal BDC (3-1) LW7 - Get your tanned asses to the GOW!!
Next opponent: at #3 Lincoln Navigators (3-1)

#6 Moose Jaw Roughriders (3-1) LW9 - Alright Moose Jaw, a win here just might give you enough clout to make it back into the top 4.
So don't fuck it up!!
Next opponent: #7 Ministry of Dotball (2-2)

#7 Ministry of Dotball (2-2) LW6 - It's time for you guys to settle things down and get focused.
2 big blow out wins and 2 big blow out losses makes up your season so far.
It's time to put together a string of wins and be a serious player in this race. Start with Moose Jaw.
Next opponent: at #6 Moose Jaw Roughriders (3-1)

#8 Porto Alegre Smugglers (2-2) LW11 - At 2-2 you guys aren't terrible, but you aren't great either.
So far the best thing about Porto Allegre is their GLB team........
http://goallineblitz.com/game/team.pl?team_id=503
......the hot Brazilian women..............
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/PortoAlegre022.jpg
........the food.......................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/feijoadacompleta.jpg
........the sports..................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/brazilianbeachvolleyball.jpg
......the beaches.........
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/brazilian-beach-girls.jpg
..........the resort hotels...................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/img4bb576d252133-1.jpg
.............did I mention the great Brazilian nature life?.....................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Porto_Alegre_Brazil.jpg
..............and the nude beaches...................
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Brazilian-beach-Love.jpg
Next opponent: #4 Dakar Dragons (3-1)

#9 Mayan Prophecy (2-2) LW2 - It's week 5 coming up and you guys are 2-2. I can't really say that you guys are dominating any serious teams, but you haven't played any serious teams yet, until now.
A win here would be a huge boost for you guys and right now is the best time for you to make your move.
Next opponent: at #2 Minneapolis Masterminds (3-1)

#10 Cincinnati Shockers (2-2) LW8 - You guys need to start winning consistently to make the playoffs and so far your season has lived up to your team name.
A shocking win, then a shocking loss, then a shocking win, then a shocking loss....................
Next opponent: #11 Bonn Dynamo (2-2)

#11 Bonn Dynamo (2-2) LW12 - There are a few 2-2 teams and all are looking at that #8 spot to make the playoffs. So better keep winning to separate yourselves from the rest.
Next opponent: at #10 Cincinnati Shockers (2-2)

#12 C-Town Hoodlums (1-3) LW10 - It's time to face Sophia once again and you guys definitely need the W to get back in the race.
Don't make me force you into early Hot Chick Lounge-dom.
Next opponent: at #13 Sofia Spiders (0-4)

#13 Sofia Spiders (0-4) LW13 - You know I want you guys to represent the Double E in the WL, but maybe it's just not your time.
Everybody has a "time". Hell, even the Sherminator had a "time".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3tbB-pzMm4
....oh yeah, you have 5 legs left.
Next opponent: #12 C-Town Hoodlums (1-3)

#14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-4) LW14 - College is just one big 4 year long party for you guys and it shows.
Instead of game planning, setting tactics, working on builds and training hard, you guys would rather party at college.
HELL YEAH!!!
I'm with you all the way on that! Now let's go knock up the cheer leading squad!
Next opponent: #15 Korb Destroyers (0-4)

#15 Korb Destroyers (0-4) LW15 - Lose this one and.....well, let's face it...............lose this one and you just suck.
Next opponent: at #14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-4)

#16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-4) LW16 - Welcome to the Hot Chick Lounge!
You are officially the first recipient of an invite to sit out the rest of the season watching REAL teams play dotball, so try to pay attention and maybe you guys will learn a thing or two.
But until then you are welcome to any of the fine beverages and trashy ladies in the Hot Chick Lounge.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot...........................thanks for playing.
And as promised, here is Nick/Nicole. Is it a guy? Is it a girl? No, it's Nick/Nicole......................
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2004/09Nicole/Nicole-05.jpg
............just because you are named as a lady, doesn't always mean that you are one.
Next opponent: #1 Valhalla (4-0)


*****WEEK 5 ZETA CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****

Here's my prediction record week by week.

Week 1: 4-4 Week 2: 4-4 Week 3: 6-2 Week 4: 6-2

Overall: 20-12
SA’s GOW: 3-1
Magic 8 Ball’s GOW: 3-1


#15 Korb Destroyers (0-4) at #14 College Town NWA Feeble Minds (0-4) = Korb Destroyers
Game Rating: 1/6 beers

#11 Bonn Dynamo (2-2) at #10 Cincinnati Shockers (2-2) = Cincinnati Shockers
Game Rating: 3/6 beers

#7 Ministry of Dotball (2-2) at #6 Moose Jaw Roughriders (3-1) = Ministry of Dotball
Game Rating: 5/6 beers

#4 Dakar Dragons (3-1) at #8 Porto Alegre Smugglers (2-2) = Dakar Dragons
Game Rating: 4/6 beers

#5 So Cal BDC (3-1) at #3 Lincoln Navigators (3-1) = So Cal BDC
Game Rating: 6/6 beers

#9 Mayan Prophecy (2-2) at #2 Minneapolis Masterminds (3-1) = Minneapolis Masterminds
Game Rating: 4/6 beers

#1 Valhalla (4-0) at #16 Machu Picchu Hidden Dragons (0-4) = Valhalla
Game Rating: 1/6 beers

#12 C-Town Hoodlums (1-3) at #13 Sofia Spiders (0-4) = C-Town Hoodlums
Game Rating: 2/6 beers


*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
#5 So Cal BDC (3-1) at #3 Lincoln Navigators (3-1) -
Who belongs in the top 4?
Well this game will decide just that!
SoCal or Lincoln, one will go home a loser!
So what do we allow this week?
Surfboards and leg waxings?
YOU KNOW IT!!
GPS and 4 wheel drive?
YOU BET!!
Taking a piece of paper and give the opposing team paper cuts between their toes and pouring some Devil's Crotch Hot Sauce on the cuts?
You bastard..............................HELL'S YEAH!!!
Yo Bort! Wake your balloon toting ass up and sim this shit up!!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball
Question: Will the BDC beat the Navigators?
8 Ball's answer: My reply is no.
SA's Pick: So Cal BDC
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Lincoln Navigators

26/48 beers! – This week you will want to evenly distribute all said beers amongst 4 great games!
The Prophecy goes for win #3 against the #2 Masterminds!
The Dragons take on the Smugglers!
The MoD battles it out with the Roughriders!
And the BDC and the Navigators go at it in the GOW!
All this in one week's worth of games?!?!
Well that's what all your hard earned flex pays for! It's the GLB health care plan! Enough good match ups to cure whatever ails ya'!!


Let’s do this shit!!

Good luck to all the teams in Zeta!

1th

Originally posted by PLAYMAKERS
1th

?????

Originally posted by swimmaboy69


.....

i cant believe you dont think college town vs korb won't be an awesome game! two very evenly matched teams going for it! Should be well worth the 5 beers!

5ist

I'm with the 8 ball on this one.

Originally posted by Smiling Assasain
#1 Chocolate Blaze (4-0) LW1 - I would like to start a Save the bears campaign right here, right now. Because Valhalla is about to exterminate them.
SAVE THE BEARS! SAVE THE BEARS! SAVE THE BEARS!
Next opponent: #16 Graz Grizzlies (0-4)

Sneaky Valhalla! Stealing our thunder

Originally posted by Kingdan23
I'm with the 8 ball on this one.

KD23 - you got a new avi.

Not an improvement imo.

Did you get your survivor pick in?

Nice work SA. Great stuff and very entertaining.

Originally posted by Smiling Assasain

#12 Windhoek White Rhinos (1-3) LW11 - Even though the Black Cats are on a roll, you still got a shot at the win.
You really need this one to get back to winning and to go for a low playoff spot.
Next opponent: at #7 Queen City Black Cats (2-2)



We'll give it our best shot! Thanks for the great read.

Damn, we have to wait until week 16 just to have a shot at a win...That sucks!

Originally posted by glwarriors
KD23 - you got a new avi.

Not an improvement imo.

Did you get your survivor pick in?

I did. Thanks for asking.

Originally posted by fish11th
Sneaky Valhalla! Stealing our thunder



LOL - that's a good one. No more stealing people's thunder.

fixed.

Originally posted by Smiling Assasain
Let's face it, if you have the GLBalls to play this game and make it to week 5, then you must have the spirit of GLB in your ass.....................



Is this a euphemism intentionally or?