African AAA#1 Pre-season Power Rankings
Lion Conference
1. Pheonix Heat (0-0): Star QB Amare Stoudamire is looking to light it up this season and management has found him two potent receivers to help him down field. Running back Ryan Seacrest looks to balance out what should be a very deadly offense by leading their ground attack. The only question that remains is how well will their defensive line fair against some of the strong offensive lines in Lion conference?
2. Etheopian Starvin Marvins (0-0): The Starvin Marvins are fielding what looks like the best offensive line in the conference, but will the rest of their offense be able to capitalize on this strength? Will they be able to piece together some defensive depth? A tough season schedule will show how prepared this team will be to make a post season run.
3. Somalia Waps (0-0): This is a team excited about the possibility of bringing a title to their fans. Star quarterback Charlie Kalkman said in a recent interview “Our entire team is motivated to win it all, we have all the pieces in place to win now.” The biggest question mark entering the season is whether or no their lines will be able to win the battles in the trenches on both sides of the ball.
4. Kalahari Night Riders (0-0): The talent is there, and fans are boldly proclaiming that this is their year. The offense has the talent to mix a potent passing game with a solid running attack, but will the defense be able to keep up? Hopefully the Night Riders will be able to answer this question in the first few weeks.
5. Minnesotta Mafia (0-0): We all know that All-Pro tailback James Golling can rip holes through entire defenses all by himself, but will the Mafia be able to pull attention away from him or will opponents gameplan against him and shut down this Minnesotta team? Management has brought in QB Danny Jo and future Hall of Fame receiver Ryan Meis for this very purpose, but will they be able to live up to expectations? If things click this is a team you don’t want to be facing in the playoffs.
6. Angola Dream (0-0): Football is a mans sport, and I can assure you that this team has more Wang then anyone else in the conference. As corny as the joke is, there is a lot of truth behind the statement. Angola will be fielding the deepest roster this season so they should have plenty of energized bodies to throw at the competition.
7. African Killer Frogs (0-0): This is a team who has quietly built up a solid offense. While they haven’t had any big free agent signings they have produced one of the leagues best offensive lines and brought in capable skill position players. Their defense is young and has a few holes, but they don’t feel this will hinder them but instead that their youth will develop into consistent starters. Will this team have someone step up and lead them? Will their defense be good enough to stop opposing offenses?
8. Mozambique Hitmen (0-0): When asked about their lack of a starting ROT, offensive line coach Smith replied “management is doing an excellent job, they know what we need and they are actively scouting for the right player to finish off our line.” While this is an urgent need, the rest of the team is sitting quite comfortably. After a recent practice QB Juan Ponce De Leon and HB Louis Riel informed the media that “We are ready to make this happen for our great nation, its time for us to step it up and we know it.”
9. Siera Leon Thunder Bolts (0-0): In a recent press conference the head coach proclaimed “I think we are being over looked, talent wise we are right up there with the best in this conference; We are expecting to have a solid year. I have a feeling we will be surprising a lot of people once the season gets under way.” While I can’t foretell the future, I can say this is one team you don’t want to underestimate.
10. Sahara Shadow Chasers (0-0): This is a team preparing for the long haul. Others may rank them quite higher, but I have serious questions about whether or not their veteran core of CPU starters can get the job done. QB Micah Horn should be connecting with WR standout Ashton Davis, and tailback Steve Sparco could be a household name by seasons end. Their experienced defense hopes to keep teams to single digit scores all season long, which will make things easy on the offense. If this team makes it to the playoffs their depth should provide enough relief during the season to keep the starters at 100% till the end.
11. Uganda Silverbacks (0-0): This is another team that many may have as high as 6 or 7 on their list but I have questions about what they will be able to accomplish. They boast one of the leagues strongest secondaries, yet their lines are quite meager in comparison to this standard. QB has an All-Pro receiving threat in TE Blade Meridious, but I wonder if this will be enough to consistently move the chains.
12. Atlantic Blue Jays (0-0): We all know QB George Boyd can produce and his playoff experience should help this team. NT Larry McDaniel should prove to be a force in the running as well. But do these two players have enough pieces around them to make a push for the playoffs?
13. Fort Wayne Generals (0-0): This is the team that everybody loves, but we have to keep in perspective that they are a very young team who hasn’t proven anything yet. College standouts Jim Kelly and Mike Bancroft look to prove that they have what it takes to be stars on this next level but will they be successful behind this offensive line? Secondary coach Callahan said in response to a questions about the defenses inexperience “We may be young, but we have all the potential in the world. Our front 7 should have a solid year and I personally have high expectations for my safeties. My young CB’s will have to step up, but they will learn through experience. This year will be a learning year, but these are all boys that will be solid for seasons to come. Persistence will get us to where we want to be.”
14. Madagascar Outlaws (0-0): The Island has very high expectations for this team. They haven’t been getting much publicity in the media; however they have a solid team. Starting free safety Ryan Shelton said in a recent interview, “we fully expect to make the playoffs, and we wont be going down with out a fight.” This is a team littered with potential stars, but the question remains will they step up and will management be able to fill their remaining holes on the roster?
15. Egypt Empire (0-0): This is a young team littered with veteran stats. QB Billy Weisenheimer and WR Anthony Jones should be connecting for a few TD passes this year, but will this offense be able to get into gear over the course of an entire season behind this porous offensive line? Will their defense be able to keep the opposition from scoring?
16. Eritrea Evarcha culicuvora (0-0): This team is building for the future, but I wonder if they will be able to get much done in the present. Talent wise they rank at or near the bottom at nearly every position, but heart and determination can be powerful motivators. Will they prove us all wrong and shock the world?
Elephant Conference
1. Morocco Camels (0-0): GM DaKing has been quite vocal in his belief that this is hands down the best team in the league. While this statement could very well turn out to be true, they will have to get through some tough Elephant Conference competition first. QB Roger Staubach will have as much time as he needs to get the ball to his talented receivers thanks to a solid line and RB Cyrus Chigurh is expected to have a very productive season as well. Will they see the fruit of their superb recruiting or will they be left wondering what else they could have done to take them all them way?
2. Ghana Pirates (0-0): What is there to say other than “Wow!”? This team has had a solid off-season building what is an impressive team all around. Many of my collieges are picking them to win it all which very well could become reality. QB Noodle Arm looks to be everything but and HB Tom Callahan looks to move the rock behind what’s shaping out to be one of the leagues best offensive lines. On defense they have no glaring weaknesses, and they should be able to stay energetic thanks to the offenses ability to control the clock.
3. Malawi Heat (0-0): This team has been flying under the radar. Outspoken outside of Malawi, I will finally give them the credit they deserve. If the conferences other top teams aren’t careful, the Heat will quickly snatch away the conference title. QB and HB Tandem Tommy Tax and Raymell Rice look to quiet opposing defenses, and they certainly have the line to allow them to do so. On defense they have a solid line to match the leagues best secondary. If this team gets momentum early, they may be impossible to stop.
4. Mozambique Lions (0-0): This is my bold prediction. Many would argue that there are a few teams that should be placed ahead of the Lions but I disagree. This team lacks two solid lines, but they make up for it with proven players at nearly every other position. HB After Burner impressed many at the previous level accumulating over 1,200 yards and 12 TD’s. QB Lucky Bomb should have some targets to hit through the air and I believe his leadership will guide this team to the playoffs. Look for this ferocious Lions secondary to step up when called upon as well in the big games.
5. Las Angeles X-treme (0-0): Some have these guys penciled in to play in the conference championship game, and while they certainly have the talent, I personally have a few doubts. Will their young OT’s be able to protect their star QB? Will their WR step it up against the staunch defenses of Elephant Conference? These questions will soon be answered, but regardless their defense should be strong enough to lead them to the playoffs, and I can assure you this is one team you don’t want to face in the end.
6. Congo Death (0-0): Unfortunately the media wont dare venture anywhere near the teams practices after the disappearance of 6 local reporters on the premises. Written in what appears to be some type of red material on the side of their training facility are the words “Jason Jennings- MVP” We can only wonder what happened to the 6 missing men. The Congo Death are one team you don’t want to mess with, and their crowd is one of the loudest in the land so don’t expect any ‘gimmie’s when playing the on the road.
7. Wichita Falls Rough Riders (0-0): This team hasn’t been getting very much attention, but let me assure you they are for real. In a recent interview DE Sooner Magic claimed “We plan on flying under the radar, that’s what we do best. We know what we are capable of and everyone else will know in due time. I promise you, we will be there in the end.” If this team can fill a few more holes and QB Carl Crawford rises to the occasion, its very possible that they make a deep playoff run.
8. New Jersey Blaze (0-0): This is a team determined to win. They have had a solid off season despite the fact that they acquired no big names. They have built both an offensive and defense line that should be able to hold its own against the best competition in the conference, so the pressing question is whether or not the rest of the team will decide to chip in and do their part? This team certainly has the talent to make quite a bit of noise.
9. Casablanca White Houses (0-0): QB Lionel De Rossi will have his choice of targets as they field two solid starting wide outs. CB Vigro Paladay looks to haul in a few interceptions and lead what should be a capable defense. This team may be young but they have quite a bit of potential. I wont be surprised if they some how manage to secure a playoff bid.
10. Eaton Beavers (0-0): This is a team many expected to have a stronger recruiting class. They starter off with a few key signings but remained rather stagnant for the remainder of the off season. They will field an above average offensive line that should be able to contain the better defenses in the conference. QB Bob Mould is young and inexperienced but he has the pieces around him to make a huge impact. Can this rookie lead his team to success? Expect their defense to start off slow but quickly develop into a consistent group that opposing offenses will fear.
11. Cape Verde Vultures (0-0): This is a team I would advise Elephant Owners watch out for. I initially had them much higher, but their glaring weaknesses in the secondary position really scared me off. In what should be a pass happy conference the Vultures are starting two rookie CB’s and their defensive front 7 wont be strong enough to apply enough consistent pressure to cover up for these holes. If they can overcome their defensive woes, this team will have the potent offense to lead them to the playoffs. QB Kitiara Uth Matar should have much success throwing to his superb WR tandem and HB TD guy has garunteed atleast 10 TD’s on the season.
12. Mogedishu Malice (0-0): I have a feeling that this team will be missing the playoffs in a tough Elephant Conference this year unless they make some blockbuster moves out of the blue, however they have built a solid core for the future. Week in and week out they are capable of upsetting anyone, and who knows maybe they will find a way to slip into the playoffs… but they know they will be a force to be reckoned with in the future. HB Arcanic Ninja might surprise many by having a career year, its possible that he might shatter a few African AAA records in the process.
13. San Dimas Saints (0-0): There is not much to say about these guys, they have had a respectable off season but I don’t think it will be enough to push them into the playoffs. They have built a nice nucleus of players who should quickly grow and mature into solid team. As with the Mogedishu Malice, week in and week out these guys can beat anyone but I don’t think they will be able to string together enough wins to raise any concern for the teams at the top to start sweating about seeding at the end of the season. TE Chris Zahn settled with this team claiming “The management is great, its nice to know they have a vision for the future. Im happy to bring my family to the city, and I can honestly say this is an organization im proud to be apart of.”
14. African Killer Bee’s (0-0): This is a team im sure would like a little more respect. As with most of Elephant Conference they have put together what should be a competitive team, and they could easily spoil some of the top team’s days with some victories throughout the year. This team isn’t currently on my playoff radar, but if they can get things going I think its possible for them to squeak in. Schedule will be a crucial factor that will ultimately determine the fate of this team.
15. High Plains Drifters (0-0): Im honestly not sure what to make of this team, they have had some nice signings of the off season, however they haven’t been able to complete their team. What they are capable of doing is a complete enigma. They are starting rookies at quite a few positions; however they do field quite a few stars as well. How will QB and Stevie Mann and WR Speedy McFastestson gel? Will their offensive line be up to the task of facing some of the Elephant Conference D-lines? If they can add a few more pieces this team might be able to get something going, but as of right now I think they fall short.
16. Swaziland Snakes (0-0): What is there to say? With poor management this team isn’t going anywhere. I expect quite a few blow out losses this season, and is it even reasonable to ask the fans to show up to home games? Perhaps they can hand out paper bags at the gates with eye holes so that they crowd can hide their shame. This season is going to be an embarrassment but the good news is that it will eventually end.
