UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL with Roy Firestonies
He's one of the youngest owners in the league and has been described as eccentric, a trail blazer and a snazzy dresser. After a brief stint in the Bad News Bears farm system, he took his bonus money and with the help of a fellow teammate at San Jose State, they launched the world into the Pokemon craze, earning billions.
He simply goes by a single name, Hexone much like Madonna, Britney or any of those other bitches. We were invited upon his private jet as he was flying cross country back to his home in the Union Square district.
[Firestonies]
Hexone, with your vast empire of companies and holdings (Sucka Free candies, clothing line, handbags; Lego Steel Construction Company; 51% shareholder interest in Shogakuken Ltd, parent company of Pokemon Trading Cards; SuperStud BioEngineering, holds breeding rights to past and present championship throughbreds and AKA canines... too extensive to list here) why football, why now?
[Hexone]
When purchasing this team and becoming a first time owner I really didn't anticipate being an owner would be so hard. It really sucks up a lot of time and energy, I even lose sleep thinking about my next move. The biggest surprise for me since becoming an owner is how committed my team has stay to me even though the rebuilding process has not been too positive in the win column, but I want to keep emphasizing to my players that I will continue to work hard for them as long as they stay committed and active for me.
[Firestonies]
Hex, you came in and cleaned house. The local press called it the 'biggest quake to hit the Bay Area since 1901'. Some have described the shake up to a large Hoover Vacuum Clearner hovering over the city, sucking up all the free trash. Were the charges against you accurate, was this team in that much disarray?
[Hexone]
Underachieving is an understatement of the state of the team when I first acquired it. I really did not have much to work with and was almost to the point where I wanted to sell the team back, but what I did was recruit not just high level players, but players that promised to stay committed to me through thick and thin, and for the most part I would say it has worked out for me pretty well.
The new season has unlimited potential for our team, and truly believe that we even have a chance at making a deep run into the playoffs. We have alot of high profile players that have given me verbal commitments to sign in the offseason. I also believe that my management team will play a key part in our success; they are all fully commited into turning our record around next season and I can't thank them enough.
[Firestonies]
Our viewers would like to know, what's with the weird name? Many owners choose traditional names like Bearcats, Whoremongers and the like but you instead chose Sucka Free's, what's the story behind that?
[Hexone]
hahaha I am glad you asked about that... I myself am a San Franciscan and have a lot of pride in my city. So naturally I decided to move the team over here although we are in a Canadian League. The league actually didn't want me to move the team here, but after convincing an ex 49er and San Jose State Spartan (Jeff Garcia) to lobby for us we were able to move the team here. The name "Sucka Free" is also a slang term used by many San Francisco and bay area natives to represent the city. There was even a clothing line named after the city's nick name "https://www.suckafree.com/collection_intro.htm". Basically we are telling everyone out there that we will not just be stereotyped by our large community of homosexuals and yuppies, but everyone in the world should also recognize that the real majority of this city are real and "Sucka Free".
Our flight momentarily made an unscheduled stop in rural Missouri so Hexone could pick some flowers he had spotted from his sleek Lear 60. Traffic was momentarily haulted along I70.
[Firestonies]
Talking football, do you have a philosophy for the game?
[Hexone]
I don't know if you can really characterize any specific philosophy for our in game tactics. My coordinators and I actually don't always see eye to eye on what we should do each game, but that is why I hired them. I am a big picture kind of guy, and want to hear as many different perspective of how we should approach a game as possible. This allows us to come up with the most complete game plan we can, what is the point of having offensive and defensive coordinators if all they do is agree with what I have to say and not give me any kind of input. But at the end of the day I try to allow my coordinators and their assistants come up with the game plan tactics and not step on anyones feet.
I am actually the Head Defensive Coordinator at the moment so I do have alot of input on that part of the game, however packers0491 has been stepping it up and has been working close with me on creating effective defensive gameplans so I can't take all the credit for that.
[Firestonies]
You've had a chance to evaluate your team since taking over mid season, what changes are in store for the Sucka Free's?
[Hexone]
On offense I definately want to continue to improve the line and bring in atleast one deep threat reciever. Our biggest weakness in our passing game to this point was our lack of a deep threat. Once our passing game improves, other teams won't be able to just concentrate on our stud RB (Harris Ahmadzai) and our offense as a whole should take off.
Defensively we really need to get more pressure on the QB and improve our interior run defense. If all things go according to plan in the offseason these issues should be solved.
[Firestonies]
Talk about your current team and what efforts you have made to recruit players in the offseason. There were rumors you were speaking to authorities about an early release of Michael Vick until that nasty soap accident surfaced.
[Hexone]
I have been putting in overtime to ensure our teams success for season 3. Like I mentioned earlier we have many players that have given me verbal commitments, but until the papers are signed nothing is set in stone. One huge change that will PROBABLY be happening in the offseason is a change at QB. St. Luke has been a very loyal and competitive player for us, but I was offered a deal I couldnt refuse in bringing in an elite QB that will hopefully ignite our subpar passing game. I am also bringing in quite a few other pieces to this puzzle that will ensure success in season 3. Those players at a later date.
[Firestonies]
Do you love your mother?
[Hexone]
{Did not answer instead smelling the freshly picked ragweed he had picked in Missouri}
[Firestonies]
It has been reported that you employ mediums among your innerstaff and that you have been seeking advise from past legends Vince Lombardi, Paul Brown and Dick Clark. YOu were reported in the press as very satisfied with your current staff, who are these people?
[Hexone]
Owner: Hexone
Head GM: Oklahoma
Recruiters: packers0491
Head Coach: Vacant
Offensive Coordinator: Gabriel Lyons
Assistant Offensive Coordinator: osu11
Defensive Coordinator: Hexone
Assistant Defensive Coordinator: Vacant
Scouts: packers0491, osu11
Public Relations: Vacant
Team News Reporter: chitownrolltide
Forum Admin: Oklahoma, packers0491, Hexone, Gabriel Lyons, Playmaker
[Firestonies]
In a very public display of wills, you battled the SF city council for public monies to expand the Sucka Free's home turf before deciding to tell the mayor to, and I quote, "not to be sexual mayor but shove it up your ass sideways, I'll build my own dam stadium". How is the stadium construction project going during the offseason and will it be ready for fans come opening day?
[Hexone]
Construction is ontime and the new seats will be ready by season 3, so get your season tickets now as soon as you can because they will sell out. We plan on adding about 3680 state of the art seats for our fans to enjoy what should be a very exciting and win filled season.
And no, I did not say those things attributed to me.
[Firestoneies]
Who is Hexone?
[Hexone]
Well I was born and raised in San Francisco California in the Bay Shore district. I played sports my whole life and excelled mostly in Baseball, wrestling, and Judo. I also played college baseball at San Jose State University and also competed nationally in Judo. My favorite professional sports teams are the Golden State Warriors, San Francisco Giants, and San Francisco 49ers. I actually made my fortune when I created "Sucka Repellent". 100% guarentee on detouring suckas from making your high come down.
[Firestonies]
Any final words you wish to convey to your legion of loyal fans?
[Hexone]
I did alot of scouting on our potential opponents next season in the 4 different AA Canadian leagues, and I truly with all my heart believe that we can make a very deep run into the playoffs or even win a championship. My goal of course is to go for the gold and bring the trophy home to San Francisco, and if I ever think I can't build a competitive team, that will be the day I hand over the ranks of the team to one of my GM's or another hungry, ambitious, GLB mogul.
I honestly want to put season 2 and want to only think about progressing forward into season 3. So all the fans out there be ready for an exciting season and thank you for all of your support.
{Fade to commericial as the two men shake hands}
[Voice Over]
When staying in the Bay Area, visit the Historic Alcatraz Resort and Spa....whether you're coming or going you're always welcome. Spacious room accomidations and world class security.
Join us next time as our special guess is the last woman Bill Clinton slept with, if we can book her fast enought. Television coverage of this program may not be available in NY state.
Public Service Advisory
Up Close and Personal tm, Roy Firestonies are wholly owned subsidiary of Chitownrolltide Productions. No preproductions without expresses written authorization as granted by US law. Chitownrolltide nor any of its agents are to be held liable for content therein and above prosecution for any comments by its guest or host (except Puerto Rico).
If you are planning a visit to the Chicagoland Area and woudl like tickets to the show, please write: Chitownrolltide Productions, LLC
P.O. Box 119768 Subslot "G"
Chicago, IL 60447-9768
If you are a booking agent and would like to be added to our guest list or have a news story you wish to tell, please PM chitownrolltide. All material will become the property of Chitownrolltide Productions. Sorry, no refunds.
He's one of the youngest owners in the league and has been described as eccentric, a trail blazer and a snazzy dresser. After a brief stint in the Bad News Bears farm system, he took his bonus money and with the help of a fellow teammate at San Jose State, they launched the world into the Pokemon craze, earning billions.
He simply goes by a single name, Hexone much like Madonna, Britney or any of those other bitches. We were invited upon his private jet as he was flying cross country back to his home in the Union Square district.
[Firestonies]
Hexone, with your vast empire of companies and holdings (Sucka Free candies, clothing line, handbags; Lego Steel Construction Company; 51% shareholder interest in Shogakuken Ltd, parent company of Pokemon Trading Cards; SuperStud BioEngineering, holds breeding rights to past and present championship throughbreds and AKA canines... too extensive to list here) why football, why now?
[Hexone]
When purchasing this team and becoming a first time owner I really didn't anticipate being an owner would be so hard. It really sucks up a lot of time and energy, I even lose sleep thinking about my next move. The biggest surprise for me since becoming an owner is how committed my team has stay to me even though the rebuilding process has not been too positive in the win column, but I want to keep emphasizing to my players that I will continue to work hard for them as long as they stay committed and active for me.
[Firestonies]
Hex, you came in and cleaned house. The local press called it the 'biggest quake to hit the Bay Area since 1901'. Some have described the shake up to a large Hoover Vacuum Clearner hovering over the city, sucking up all the free trash. Were the charges against you accurate, was this team in that much disarray?
[Hexone]
Underachieving is an understatement of the state of the team when I first acquired it. I really did not have much to work with and was almost to the point where I wanted to sell the team back, but what I did was recruit not just high level players, but players that promised to stay committed to me through thick and thin, and for the most part I would say it has worked out for me pretty well.
The new season has unlimited potential for our team, and truly believe that we even have a chance at making a deep run into the playoffs. We have alot of high profile players that have given me verbal commitments to sign in the offseason. I also believe that my management team will play a key part in our success; they are all fully commited into turning our record around next season and I can't thank them enough.
[Firestonies]
Our viewers would like to know, what's with the weird name? Many owners choose traditional names like Bearcats, Whoremongers and the like but you instead chose Sucka Free's, what's the story behind that?
[Hexone]
hahaha I am glad you asked about that... I myself am a San Franciscan and have a lot of pride in my city. So naturally I decided to move the team over here although we are in a Canadian League. The league actually didn't want me to move the team here, but after convincing an ex 49er and San Jose State Spartan (Jeff Garcia) to lobby for us we were able to move the team here. The name "Sucka Free" is also a slang term used by many San Francisco and bay area natives to represent the city. There was even a clothing line named after the city's nick name "https://www.suckafree.com/collection_intro.htm". Basically we are telling everyone out there that we will not just be stereotyped by our large community of homosexuals and yuppies, but everyone in the world should also recognize that the real majority of this city are real and "Sucka Free".
Our flight momentarily made an unscheduled stop in rural Missouri so Hexone could pick some flowers he had spotted from his sleek Lear 60. Traffic was momentarily haulted along I70.
[Firestonies]
Talking football, do you have a philosophy for the game?
[Hexone]
I don't know if you can really characterize any specific philosophy for our in game tactics. My coordinators and I actually don't always see eye to eye on what we should do each game, but that is why I hired them. I am a big picture kind of guy, and want to hear as many different perspective of how we should approach a game as possible. This allows us to come up with the most complete game plan we can, what is the point of having offensive and defensive coordinators if all they do is agree with what I have to say and not give me any kind of input. But at the end of the day I try to allow my coordinators and their assistants come up with the game plan tactics and not step on anyones feet.
I am actually the Head Defensive Coordinator at the moment so I do have alot of input on that part of the game, however packers0491 has been stepping it up and has been working close with me on creating effective defensive gameplans so I can't take all the credit for that.
[Firestonies]
You've had a chance to evaluate your team since taking over mid season, what changes are in store for the Sucka Free's?
[Hexone]
On offense I definately want to continue to improve the line and bring in atleast one deep threat reciever. Our biggest weakness in our passing game to this point was our lack of a deep threat. Once our passing game improves, other teams won't be able to just concentrate on our stud RB (Harris Ahmadzai) and our offense as a whole should take off.
Defensively we really need to get more pressure on the QB and improve our interior run defense. If all things go according to plan in the offseason these issues should be solved.
[Firestonies]
Talk about your current team and what efforts you have made to recruit players in the offseason. There were rumors you were speaking to authorities about an early release of Michael Vick until that nasty soap accident surfaced.
[Hexone]
I have been putting in overtime to ensure our teams success for season 3. Like I mentioned earlier we have many players that have given me verbal commitments, but until the papers are signed nothing is set in stone. One huge change that will PROBABLY be happening in the offseason is a change at QB. St. Luke has been a very loyal and competitive player for us, but I was offered a deal I couldnt refuse in bringing in an elite QB that will hopefully ignite our subpar passing game. I am also bringing in quite a few other pieces to this puzzle that will ensure success in season 3. Those players at a later date.
[Firestonies]
Do you love your mother?
[Hexone]
{Did not answer instead smelling the freshly picked ragweed he had picked in Missouri}
[Firestonies]
It has been reported that you employ mediums among your innerstaff and that you have been seeking advise from past legends Vince Lombardi, Paul Brown and Dick Clark. YOu were reported in the press as very satisfied with your current staff, who are these people?
[Hexone]
Owner: Hexone
Head GM: Oklahoma
Recruiters: packers0491
Head Coach: Vacant
Offensive Coordinator: Gabriel Lyons
Assistant Offensive Coordinator: osu11
Defensive Coordinator: Hexone
Assistant Defensive Coordinator: Vacant
Scouts: packers0491, osu11
Public Relations: Vacant
Team News Reporter: chitownrolltide
Forum Admin: Oklahoma, packers0491, Hexone, Gabriel Lyons, Playmaker
[Firestonies]
In a very public display of wills, you battled the SF city council for public monies to expand the Sucka Free's home turf before deciding to tell the mayor to, and I quote, "not to be sexual mayor but shove it up your ass sideways, I'll build my own dam stadium". How is the stadium construction project going during the offseason and will it be ready for fans come opening day?
[Hexone]
Construction is ontime and the new seats will be ready by season 3, so get your season tickets now as soon as you can because they will sell out. We plan on adding about 3680 state of the art seats for our fans to enjoy what should be a very exciting and win filled season.
And no, I did not say those things attributed to me.
[Firestoneies]
Who is Hexone?
[Hexone]
Well I was born and raised in San Francisco California in the Bay Shore district. I played sports my whole life and excelled mostly in Baseball, wrestling, and Judo. I also played college baseball at San Jose State University and also competed nationally in Judo. My favorite professional sports teams are the Golden State Warriors, San Francisco Giants, and San Francisco 49ers. I actually made my fortune when I created "Sucka Repellent". 100% guarentee on detouring suckas from making your high come down.
[Firestonies]
Any final words you wish to convey to your legion of loyal fans?
[Hexone]
I did alot of scouting on our potential opponents next season in the 4 different AA Canadian leagues, and I truly with all my heart believe that we can make a very deep run into the playoffs or even win a championship. My goal of course is to go for the gold and bring the trophy home to San Francisco, and if I ever think I can't build a competitive team, that will be the day I hand over the ranks of the team to one of my GM's or another hungry, ambitious, GLB mogul.
I honestly want to put season 2 and want to only think about progressing forward into season 3. So all the fans out there be ready for an exciting season and thank you for all of your support.
{Fade to commericial as the two men shake hands}
[Voice Over]
When staying in the Bay Area, visit the Historic Alcatraz Resort and Spa....whether you're coming or going you're always welcome. Spacious room accomidations and world class security.
Join us next time as our special guess is the last woman Bill Clinton slept with, if we can book her fast enought. Television coverage of this program may not be available in NY state.
Public Service Advisory
Up Close and Personal tm, Roy Firestonies are wholly owned subsidiary of Chitownrolltide Productions. No preproductions without expresses written authorization as granted by US law. Chitownrolltide nor any of its agents are to be held liable for content therein and above prosecution for any comments by its guest or host (except Puerto Rico).
If you are planning a visit to the Chicagoland Area and woudl like tickets to the show, please write: Chitownrolltide Productions, LLC
P.O. Box 119768 Subslot "G"
Chicago, IL 60447-9768
If you are a booking agent and would like to be added to our guest list or have a news story you wish to tell, please PM chitownrolltide. All material will become the property of Chitownrolltide Productions. Sorry, no refunds.
