Warrior General Games

Ladies and gentlemen!
Boys and girls of all ages!
Mr. and Mrs. America and all the ships at sea!
Welcome, to the greatest rankings on earth!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWxuC_MdvQg

Welcome to SA’s Sports Page!! Yay!
You guys are privy to the finest, the greatest, the most awesome rankings and predictions ever known to man since the dawn of time itself!!

Yes, once again the season is upon us and it is time to get the Sports Page up and running!
I’m a season 1 vet and have been doing these since season 5. These are the way I see things, so if you don’t like them just post so. We all got an opinion, it’s just that yours is wrong and mine is always right.

So taking a looksie at the league, this will be one competitive season. So maybe now would be a good time to show you guys exactly what we are playing for.
Why do we do what we do?
Why do we spend the money to build our players and play with other nerds living in their parents basements?
What is it that drives us and motivates us to scout teams and game plan for each and every victory?
Well here it is……………..the Pimp Cup Trophy!
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/pcupps.jpg

Past winners of the historic Pimp Cup Trophy include…………
Season 5 – Banghazi Barbary Lions
Season 6 – Pretoria Pigs
Season 7 – Czech Yourself
Season 8 – Paris Smexies
Season 9 – Wildflecken Wolverines
Season 10 – Banja Luka Funky Bunch
Season 11 – Pirgos Warlords
Season 12 - ????? - who will it be this season?

Does your team have the…
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/funny-pictures-huge-nuts-2cG.jpg ... to win the Pimp Cup this season?

Past winners of the fabled Pimp Cup have gone on to fame and fortune in following seasons and enjoyed a shit load of street credit to boot!
Winning the Pimp Cup not only gets your team name inscribed in the annals of history, but also gets your team a butt load of fabulous gifts and prizes!! But we can get to that in upcoming issues.
Well let’s start the season and find out who is going down in history and who is just going down!

Will your team go all the way?
Will your team crap out?
Will Luke marry Laura on Days of Our Lives?
Don’t ask me! Read the Sport’s Page and find out, chuckle heads!!

Oh yeah, we can’t start the season without a customary …………

……………..LET’S DO THIS SHIT!!!



You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.

****ALPHA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****


Alpha has some strong looking contenders this season, so welcome to the zoo, Alpha teams..........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofSlpgdYJB4

#1 Ukraine Freight Train (0-0) -
Stadium: Train Station
What’s up, Freight Train’ers? I’m not really glad to see you guys in the same conference as Funky Bunch, but it will be fun to play you guys none the less
Well I have gotta’ rank these guys at the top. No one has beaten them in 38 games and they have lost only one regular season game in the last two seasons. Add to that the fact that they have won 2 straight league titles, I would think they are the team to beat.
It says on the team profile that they are an official Addict team, so I think it would be great if we did one of those intervention thingies on these guys.
Let’s throw a net over them and sit them down, beat them into submission and berate them like they were the weird smelly kid in 5th grade. Then we tell them we love them and we are only treating them like crap because it is for their own good.
That’s tough love, Freight Train, tough love.
Good luck, Freight Train.
Next opponent: at Mombasa Wombats (0-0)

#2 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (0-0) -
Stadium: Studio 54 in Funky Town
OK, this is my home team, so if you think there is favoritism going on, you are prolly right. Hey, at least I’m honest about it.
But we had a great chance of winning our second straight league title until that stupid AI bug that makes you punt every 4th down came to town.
Not a fun season ender.
But it’s a new season and we are ready to have some fun and maybe get a trophy this time around.
Good luck, Funky Bunch.
Next opponent: Buffalo Range Roamers (0-0)

#3 The Gods (0-0) -
Stadium: Gods Playground
Well here come the Gods! Remember the wedgie? I’m sure you do, Pedro. Was it this one…..
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/Wedgie.jpg
Or was it this one…….
http://i378.photobucket.com/albums/oo227/jason41470/failure-wedgie.jpg , either way they don’t look fun.
I’ll put The Gods at 3 just because Pedro did.
These guys rate at a 63 which is one of the tops in the conference. They have a great shot at making the title, if they don’t get that wedgie stuck up their cracks again.
Good luck, Gods.
Next opponent: Vatican City Bishops (0-0)

#4 Excellence Express X Factor (0-0) -
Stadium: Xcellence Stadium
This is the first time I have ever heard or seen these guys, but they look like they came to play. They rank up their with the best of the conference and should make the playoffs.
Don't take them lightly or you just might get their x factor straight up your ass!
Good luck, EEXF.
Next opponent: Border Reivers (0-0)

#5 Cape Town Cowboys (0-0) -
Stadium: O.K. Corral
I had no idea they had cowboys in South Africa, but ever since Bush got elected I guess the impossible can really happen.
They have some mamma jamma’s on the O-line and some high level players on the roster. They are looking to make the playoffs for sure.
Good luck, Cowboys.
Next opponent: New Jersey Bombers (0-0)

#6 House Of Pain (0-0) -
Stadium: House of pain
Welcome to the House of Pain!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwQbPgouUYo
These guys are stocked with 48+ level players and a couple low level guys too. They have a shot at the playoffs if they can gameplan like some mutha’ truckas’.
Good luck, HOP.
Next opponent: Serbia Swarm (0-0)

#7 Odessa Outrage (0-0) -
Stadium: Fury Coliseum
This looks to be their fourth season of existence and they look to have been pretty successful.
Can they carry it over to the next level in this league?
Well it looks like they should. They got a nicely built roster with a couple weak spots, but they have a very good chance at post season action.
Good luck, Outrage.
Next opponent: Springfield Meltdowns (0-0)

#8 Cincinnati Tigers (0-0) -
Stadium: Joe Nuxhall Memorial Stadium
These guys look pumped to play this season.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu9xx5Ri278
They have the roster to make the playoffs, but we will have to wait and see how far they go.
Just do as Rocky says and “Go for it.”
Good luck, Tigers.
Next opponent: at Hungary Pangs (0-0)

#9 Fight Club (0-0) -
Stadium: Club Stadium
Hello Fight Club, good to see you again. You guys have grown a lot since we last saw you back in season 10.
I would love to comment on Fight Club, but the first rule of Fight Club is that you never speak of Fight Club. So, ssshhhhhhh.
Good luck, Fight Club.
Next opponent: at Bratislava Zabijaks (0-0)

#10 Tallinn Nightmare (0-0) -
Stadium: Rail Baltica Jalgpallivaljak
The Nightmare may be more of a wet dream this season. They are made up of mostly mid 40 level players and if they want to make the big after school fiesta, they better have some really good game planners.
Good luck Nightmare.
Next opponent: at Berlin Vikings (0-0)

#11 West Charleville Sharpshooters (0-0) -
Stadium: Charleville Field
Who knows what to make of the Sharpshooters. They have a good mix of high, mid and low level players. The roster includes a lvl 70 WR and a lvl 70 G, plus a few high 60 lvl guys too. But the group of lower level players may block their way from the playoffs.
Good luck Sharpshooters.
Next opponent: Warsaw Gods of War (0-0)

#12 Vestfold Vikings (0-0) -
Stadium: Fólkvangr Field
Well we have some weak spots here and depth isn’t the greatest, but maybe another season in the oven and they should be competitive next season.
Good luck Vikings.
Next opponent: at Kentucky Bootleggers (0-0)

#13 Furious George (0-0) -
Stadium: Moo Tosses Salad Bowl
The best damn CPU team in Alpha! All CPU players are level 55 or more, so watch out or you may just end up the joke of the week for losing to a CPU team.
Next opponent: at Secretville Offtopics (0-0)

#14 Deimon Devil Bats (0-0) -
Stadium: The Red Cauldron
Pure CPU here, fellas’. That’s like a shot of Yaeger to the rest of the league.
Next opponent: at Tunguska Meteors (0-0)

#15 Tomsk Assassins (0-0) -
Stadium: Assassins Field
90% CPU with some humans on the roster. Should make for a nice tasty treat between real games.
Next opponent: Beograd Blackhand (0-0)

#16 Aachen Spartans (0-0) -
Stadium: THE COLLISEUM
Pretty much all CPU with a couple of humans sprinkled in. Their slogan is “We are Spartans!........well, not really Spartans, but we once went to a wine tasting a mile south of Sparta. They had the best Chardonnay and Irish head cheese.”
Next opponent: Kaunas Archangels (0-0)

____________________________________________________________________________


****ZETA CONFERENCE POWER RANKINGS****


Zeta looks to be one tough mofo to compete in this season!
Welcome to the jungle, Zeta teams!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYRC4H64EFk


#1 Warsaw Gods Of War (0-0) -
Stadium: Gods Of War Stadium
Well these guys are the highest rated team in the land as of right now. That could change once the season begins, but for now they are the top rated team and the Zeta favorite.
Good luck Gods of War.
Next opponent: at West Charleville Sharpshooters (0-0)

#2 Mombasa Wombats (0-0) -
Stadium: Wombat PvP Arena
What’s a Wombat you ask?
Well only the most vicious, devious and cunning killing machine mother nature has ever created, that’s what!
Wombats are hell bent on ruling the Earth, so they should never be trusted or taken lightly!
Look at these pics of wombats attacking poor helpless people!
http://scienceblogs.com/zooillogix/Wombat%20II.jpg
http://www.insitetasmania.com/Talk_To_The_Animals/What_s_A_Wombat/a_wombats.jpg .......oh those poor people! The horror! The horror!
Here’s a pic of a sign in Australia warning people of these savage killers!
http://www.iath.virginia.edu/~bpn2f/ROSSETTI/wombat-sign.gif .. oh I feel sorry for those Aussies that have to live with such a foul beast!
And look at this artist’s rendition of a wombat dancing in glee after killing and devouring a family of six!
http://www.theofficiallifeofbrian.com/images/happy_wombat.gif
And last, but not least, a pic of their leader! The king of all wombats! The one wombat that tells all other wombats to attack and eat any and all humans they come across!
Willie Wombat!!!
http://www.cookplanetarium.us/pics/wombat.jpg
RRRRRUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAHHHHGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
Good luck, Wombats.
Next opponent: Ukraine Freight Train (0-0)

#3 Kentucky Bootleggers (0-0) -
Stadium: THE DISTILLAR
Ah yes. Finally there is a team after my own heart. Nothing like a little moon shine to lift the spirits. These guys make their own brand of White Lightning at home in the DISTILLAR and then they bootleg it to fine establishments all across the land, kind of like a Santa Claus for drunks.
I used to make my own wine in my bath tub. It had a pungent aroma that would sting the nostrils, but it had a helluva kick once you got the hair clogs out of it.
Good luck, Bootleggers.
Next opponent: Vestfold Vikings (0-0)

#4 Vatican City Bishops (0-0) -
Stadium: Fast Fred's Field
Ok, the Bishops come into the league with a really stacked roster and they have the Lord’s blessing to boot. That could be one deadly combo.
But luckily, when it comes to GLB, I believe in the GLB gods. You know the ones, Screw You, the God of AI bugs in the playoffs. And Borticus, the god of flex and how to get you to buy more of it. And then there is Onus, the God of the 1st round playoff jinx to #1 teams.
Good luck, Bishops.
Next opponent: at The Gods (0-0)

#5 Serbia Swarm (0-0) -
Stadium: The Hive
Well here are the Swarm. They have a really good mix of players going on here. They have mostly 50+ leveled players, so they should be a pretty tough team to beat and looks like they have an excellent chance of making the post season.
Good luck, Swarm.
Next opponent: at House Of Pain (0-0)

#6 Border Reivers (0-0) -
Stadium: Reivers Stadium
What the crap is a Reiver? I Googled and found out they are either a group of raiders along the England/Scotland border or they are a bar and grill on S. Gaylord Street in Denver, CO.
Being a huge Broncos fan, I hope it’s the latter. I’ve been to that bar and grill before. If you are ever in Denver, stop by there and try the Mountaineer burger, deee-lish!!.
Mmmmmmm, Mountaineer burger.
Good luck, Reivers.
Next opponent: at Excellence Express Factor (0-0)

#7 Beograd Black Hand (0-0) -
Stadium: The Necropolis
Ah yes, the Black Hand has arrived! Coincidentally, I have 3 players on this team too, so it gives me an Alpha and a Zeta team to root for. Does that make me a Funky Hand?
Could there be a Funky Bunch vs Black Hand finals?
Good luck, Black Hand.
Next opponent: at Tomsk Assassains (0-0)

#8 Bratislava Zabijaks (0-0) -
Stadium: The Green Mile
So I had no clue what a Zabijack was, so I googled and found out you guys are…………….PIG KILLERS!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wf47xgzf3A8 - warning! the vid is a little graphic.
You guys pound the pork. You hammer the hog. You palm the pig. And then you kill swine after wards.
With all that pork pounding, maybe you guys should invest in some hand lotion.
http://youalreadyknowwhoitis.wordpress.com/files/2009/02/jergens.jpg
Good luck, Zabijacks.
Next opponent: Fight Club (0-0)

#9 Kaunas Archangels (0-0) -
Stadium: Stadium
These guys look like a team that shouldn’t be taken lightly. They are rated at 63 with quite a few mid 40 level players, so you know they have some good builds working here. We’ll see just how good they are pretty early in weeks 3, 4 and 5 when they face some strong teams in each game.
Good luck, Archangels.
Next opponent: at Aachen Spartans (0-0)

#10 Tunguska Meteors (0-0) -
Stadium: The Event
Hello again Meteors! Fancy meeting you guys here.
Well watch out, these guys are better than they look. Even though I have them at 10, they should prove to be a very tough team and the builds to back it up.
Good luck, Meteors.
Next opponent: Deimon Devil Bats (0-0)

#11 Berlin Vikings (0-0) -
Stadium: The Dragons Lair
Well these guys have got a complete human roster and looks like they could make a solid run for a last minute playoff spot.
They rate as a 60 right now, which is a under the majority of the conference, so they may have to do some extra game planning to get the wins to make it into the post season.
Good luck, Vikings.
Next opponent: Tallinn Nightmare (0-0)

#12 Hungary Pangs (0-0) -
Stadium: Farmers Field
Still a few CPU players on the roster fort he Pangs. Can’t really consider them a playoff caliber team until you are all human.
Good luck, Pangs.
Next opponent: Cincinnati Tigers (0-0)

#13 Secretville Offtopics (0-0) -
Stadium: Barbie Dome
Well as of right now, the Offtopics don’t have a completely human roster. Whether they have a farm team waiting to bring a whole new team over or they are diligently recruiting to get more players or neither, they won’t win a lot of games with a half CPU roster.
Good luck, Offtopics.
Next opponent: Furious George (0-0)

#14 Buffalo Range Roamers (0-0) -
Stadium: Rich Stadium
Might as well be all CPU. They might get a win over the other CPU’s, but that’s about it.
Good luck, Range Roamers (0-0)
Next opponent: at Banja Luka Funky Bunch (0-0)

#15 New Jersey Bombers (0-0) -
Stadium: Bombers Stadium
Dead team walking! We got a dead team walking here! Dead team walking!
Good luck, Bombers.
Next opponent: at Cape Town Cowboys (0-0)

#16 Springfield Meltdowns (0-0) -
Stadium: Buzz Cola Field
CPU. See comments for team #15 above.
Good luck, Meltdowns.
Next opponent: Odessa Outrage (0-0)




*****WEEK 1 INTER-CONFERENCE PREDICTIONS*****

So I’ll keep track of my predictions week by week just to see if I am any dam good. In the Game of the Week's (GOW) I'll go up against my old pal, the On Line Magic 8 Ball http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/
Yes, I really do consult an On Line Magic 8 Ball. I’ve had a rivalry going with that damn 8-ball for 3 seasons in a row now and this season I plan to clobber it once again!!


Fight Club at Bratislava Zabijaks = Bratislava Zabijaks
Tallinn Nightmare at Berlin Vikings = Tallinn Nightmare
Warsaw Gods of War at West Charleville Sharpshooters = Warsaw Gods of War
Vestfold Vikings at Kentucky Bootleggers = Kentucky Bootleggers
Furious George at Secretville Offtopics = Secretville Offtopics
Deimon Devil Bats at Tunguska Meteors = Tunguska Meteors
Beograd Blackhand at Tomsk Assassins = Beograd Blackhand
Kaunas Archangels at Aachen Spartans = Kaunas Archangels
Buffalo Range Roamers at Banja Luka Funky Bunch = Banja Luka Funky Bunch
Ukraine Freight Train at Mombasa Wombats = Ukraine Freight Train
Vatican City Bishops at The Gods = The Gods
Border Reivers at Excellence Express X Factor = Excellence Express X Factor
New Jersey Bombers at Cape Town Cowboys = Cape Town Cowboys
Serbia Swarm at House Of Pain = Serbia Swarm
Springfield Meltdowns at Odessa Outrage = Odessa Outrage
Cincinnati Tigers at Hungary Pangs = Cincinnati Tigers


*Game Of The Week* (GOW)
Border Reivers (0-0) at Excellence Express X Factor (0-0) -
It’s the first GOW of season 12!!
So there is only one place to play the very first GOW of the season! You Sports Page vets know exactly where I am talking about!
That’s right! We are going to……………….THUNDER DOME!!!
Two teams enter! One team leaves!
No one wants to be the first to lose in the GOW, every team has something to prove in the first game of the season!
And these two teams are no different!
Win and you are on the right path. Lose and you suck.
It’s as simple as that, chuckle heads!
So let this one be an anything goes match in Thunder Dome!
Chains? Legal!
Knives? Allowed!
Kicking? Hair Pulling? Biting? Yep! Yes! And You bet!
Beating each other to unconsciousness and urinating on the loser? Wouldn’t have it any other way!
So let’s do this shit!!
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/
Question: Will the Reivers beat the X Factor?
8 Ball's answer: Without a doubt
SA's Pick: Excellence Express X Factor
Magic 8 Ball Pick: Border Reivers
And the rivalry ensues!!

Well there is the first issue of the Sports Page in season 12.
So if all my picks come true we are looking at 8 wins for Alpha and 8 for Zeta.

Let’s do this shit!!

Good luck to all the teams in Week 1 of the new season!

Wow. My wildest forum dreams come true. Good stuff.

Archangels should be lower, imo.

Warsaw too high! thanks for doing this!

Originally posted by Smiling Assasain
It says on the team profile that they are an official Addict team, so I think it would be great if we did one of those intervention thingies on these guys.
Let’s throw a net over them and sit them down, beat them into submission and berate them like they were the weird smelly kid in 5th grade. Then we tell them we love them and we are only treating them like crap because it is for their own good.
That’s tough love, Freight Train, tough love.


hahahaha

love being back in the same league as you SA!
good luck to all.

Can Kaunsas be moved up based on the strength of the fact that we both GM the smallest team in GLB?

I love you Assasain you are so much better at these then me, but did you have to bring up the wedgies again. My ass hurts already

Originally posted by pedro617
I love you Assasain you are so much better at these then me, but did you have to bring up the wedgies again. My ass hurts already


I know, I know. It's like tradition though.

Originally posted by MGood030
Can Kaunsas be moved up based on the strength of the fact that we both GM the smallest team in GLB?

You Co-own the Tiny Avatars with Vladykins! It's a small F'ing MMO. Vladykins is the BEST!!! He was in the same league as us in Season 8 or 9 or both.

<--- Glad we're not the only ones in the forums.

Originally posted by Smiling Assasain


I know, I know. It's like tradition though.


I'll give you that but it still hurts

awesome write up!

FUCK YES I am finally privy to these!!!
This is the single greatest moment of my entire life...

you are amazing...as always SA .....wow!

Good Stuff SA. Thanks for the jinx in week 1. .

Another season, another great Issue of the Sports Pages. Great stuff once again.