Thank you for letting me on your team/league. I am graciously at your service to fuck hoes, baby sit your daughters, and play some football.
For those of you who don't know who I am, WAKE UP. Realize you are in the presence of a GOD, the ONE who rules all and can devastate teams just by a glance. I am LIMAS SWEED and I will be bringing you a championship home. Throw that ball anywhere near me and it's over. I'm gone, put up another 6. We will divide and Conquer. It is time to shake off that rust and get ready to go undefeated.
You can do it. Wake up in the morning and believe. We are not Phil Micelson, WE ARE TIGER WOODS. We are the TEXAS LONGHORNS from 2005, we are not OU. Big game or small, we'll win them all. We don't lose, I REFUSE TO LOSE. It is time to step up.
There will be more to come but for now realize, i left my previous team to come here an win a CHAMPIONSHIP. So don't let me down. Bitches for all, complements of LIMAS SWEED. You want drinks, drugs, honeys, or STD's; you come see ME. You want to WIN, you give the ball to me... SWEED. You want GREATNESS? FAME? PRIDE? You want a WINNER???
Congrats, we've got it all right here.
Welcome to the new and improved UN PEACEKEEPERS.
You have inherited everything you have ever dreamed for, I'm here.