Well, well, well, what have we here.... Hello all you deranged sports fanatics in the nether regions of the world wide web. I've been meaning to get his report in for awhile, but it's a little wacky here in the afterlife, what with Nixon running around making a complete ass of himself. Enough of that though....
I'm writing about one of the hottest young teams in Canada AA #2, The Slackjawed Yokels. This is a team that started out 0-2, with some lack luster efforts against the JetNation Dream Team and Thunder Bay Blue Jays. But, ho ho ho, look at them now...
After hiring new O Coordinator/D Coordinator and a whole new scouting dept., they've completely turned things around. Sure, they've had some ups and downs along the way, but this team has really turned it around in a big way.
Their latest effort, as huge underdogs (payed out 4-1, -8 spread, what a payday that was fellow addicts!!!), against the 11-3 London Angels at the Trailer Park yesterday was quite a show indeed...
http://goallineblitz.com/game/game.pl?game_id=24673
This was complete domination by the Yokel defense, led by Defensive Coordinator Lazer Noble. They held the vaunted Angel attack to a paltry 159 total yards, and only 13 yards rushing. The Angel's Howie Zerr was running for his life all day, ending up on his backside multiple times and tossing 3 picks in the process. Mark Anderson led the way with 2 of those sacks and 1 tackle for loss. Venerable DBs, Ken Chutdoon and Squashball Clemente each had an INT, as did the young rookie FS Adrian Benett.
Meanwhile, the Yokels offense could seem to do no wrong... Touchdown Tosser went 20-29 for 205 yds and 2 TD. Goggles Byzanos continued his scoring onslaught with 2 TDs rushing, as the O-Line paved the way for 185 yds rushing as a team.
But, the Offensive star of the day was JR Touchdowns, with 142 yds receiving on 8 catches, 2 of those going to the house. Offensive Coordinator StudMuffin was heard to be saying something about being the Muffin Man after the game, but that may have had something to do with the mix up in coolers. He got hit with the Moonshine tub instead of the Gatorade cooler. All that White Lightning gone to waste!!!!
Ah, but I digress.... I look forward to tomorrows matchup between the Western Confrence juggernaut Kensington Kings and their dynamic offense and the Slackjawed Yokels stellar defense. Ought to be one hell of a show folks. Come by the homestead and pull up a seat and enjoy the ride... I'm taking the Yokels and the points (-7). Well, I've got to get this in before deadline... Mahalo
- Raul Duke, Dr. of Journalism
