Warrior General Games

Alright, we are back and hopefully for mare than a couple of Sport’s Pages at a time.
So let me get caught up.
Horde beat Diadochi! That is exciting! But you Diadochi really screwed me on my perfect GOW picks, you pricks!
Wolverines just love proving me wrong. Damn you Coach Ernie!
The Trojans are the only undefeated team left up in this mutha’!
The Banja Luka Boracs are the Kings of Banja Luka this season! Congrats Boracs!

Let’s welcome a couple new faces to the dreaded Hot Pic Club!
Amsterdam and Vienna in Alpha! And Providence, ROF, Wroclaw and WMD in Zeta! Salute!

Let’s see what the reader mailbag has in store for us.

Here’s an e-mail from Chad in Banja Luka. He writes:
Dear SA,
Originally posted by chadj19
Nice Bananna jack ass!
Thank you. It’s a Chiquita.


And here’s one from CJohnson in Istanbul. He writes:
Dear SA,
Originally posted by C Johnson
Am I going crazy or did we used to have a guy that did rankings/prediction for us? WTF SA? Half of the United States is unemployed, can't you volunteer for a lay off so we can get some predictions?
Well first, yes you are going crazy.
Second, I was working to pay Bort his exorbitant fees for playing GLB, but after reading your post…………….fuck it! I quit my job and feel I am a better man for it!
I filed for food stamps today and am ready to do nothing, but eat bon bons and watch Oprah!............oh, and do these write ups if I have time.



And here is one from John Doe of Kansas City. He writes:
Dear On Line Doctor,
I have a severe burning sensation when I pee. What does that mean?......................uhm, wait a minute. That was my e-mail to online doctor. If Tara “T.L.” Smith is reading this, it was a joke. I in no way get a burning sensation when I pee and I certainly didn’t get this burning sensation after a drunken night in Tijuana involving the donkey lady and Tim the Horny Mule!
It might be best if everyone just disregards this letter.



And finally, here is one from FatLoad (I don’t even want to know how you got that name……….OK, yes I do!).
He writes:
Dear SA:
Originally posted by FatLoad
Originally posted by Smiling Assasain

A Diadochi is Greek for a light chicken gravy.

I did not know that!!!
Thanks.
See, you learn something new every day at the Sports Page. Congrats, FatLoad!

So let’s move on to Week 14!

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.

****ZETA POWER RANKINGS****

LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched

*#1 Macedonia Trojans (13-0) LW 1 - This is the big game in Zeta! No more talk. Let’s just do it!
Next opponent: #2 Estonia Stoners (12-1)

*#2 Estonia Stoners (12-1) LW 2 - Shut up! Let’s do this one!
Next opponent: at #1 Macedonia Trojans (13-0)

#3 Istanbul Hellhounds (10-3) LW 4 - I don’t see the Hell Hounds losing another game with there last three games. If any of you other teams wanted to move up, you are S.O.L.
Next opponent: at #9 Banja Luka Blackshirts (7-6)

#4 Ukraine Freight Train (10-3) LW 5 - Fretight Train isn’t safe yet. Three teams left to play and they could lose all three if they aren’t careful.
Next opponent: #10 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (6-7)

#5 The Gods (9-4) LW 3 - It’s a good thing you Gods are playing ROF next, because your last two games are doozies! You may need to win out if you want that #4 spot.
Next opponent: at #11 Renegades of Funk (4-9)

#6 Banja Luka Boracs (8-5) LW 7 - The Boracs are coming on strong late in the season. They gave a 59-9 shellacking to the Gods. But an 11-5 record is what they should end up with. The final 3 teams are all cream puffs.
Next opponent: #13 Providence Black Hawks (3-10

#7 Vancouver Jive Turkeys (8-5) LW 6 - Well one win is for sure out oft heir last three games. Cool Runnings and Funky Bunch might be a little tougher. A win over Cool Runnings would really put some distance between you and the last teams scrambling for that last playoff spot.
Next opponent: #8 Cool Runnings (8-5)

#8 Cool Runnings (8-5) LW 8 - Want to ensure your playoff spot? Beating Vancouver will go a long way with that. Very important game up next.
Next opponent: at #7 Vancouver Jive Turkeys (8-5)

#9 Banja Luka Blackshirts (7-6) LW 10 - Black Shirts are still in it, but they need to come up big and win the next two games against Istanbul and Cool Runnings. If you guys can do that, then the St Petersburg game will be a cake walk.
Next opponent: #3 Istanbul Hellhounds (10-3)

#10 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (6-7) LW 9 - So many close losses. If you guys made an extra FG or got just one more score or held on to win, it would have been a much different season. I’m thinking you guys are goners, but stranger shit has happened.
Next opponent: at #4 Ukraine Freight Train (10-3)

#11 Renegades of Funk (4-9) LW 11 - Getting’ funky in the Hot Pic Club!
http://www.bullz-eye.com/models/200509Fabiola/Fabiola-37.jpg
Next opponent: #5 The Gods (9-4)

#12 Wroclaw Wrecking Crew (3-10) LW 13 - At least you guys won a few games.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2009/03Elena/Elena-15.jpg
Next opponent: #14 WMD Pale Riders (2-11)

#13 Providence Black Hawks (3-10) LW 12 - Welcome Black Hawks! You guys were terrible enough to join the Hot Pic Club! Yay!
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2009/03Reka/Reka-19.jpg
Next opponent: at #6 Banja Luka Boracs (8-5)

#14 WMD Pale Riders (2-11) LW 14 - 2-10, 2-10, will you be in EEA1 again?
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2008/12Kylie/Kylie-07.jpg
Next opponent: at #12 Wroclaw Wrecking Crew (3-10)

#15 Luzitian Dynasty (0-13) LW 15 - It’s almost over Dynasty.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2009/03Cassi/Cassi-24.jpg
Next opponent: #16 St. Petersburg Destroyers (0-13)

#16 St. Petersburg Destroyers (0-13) LW 16 - No need to say anything, just click the pic.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2008/11Sara/Sara-02.jpg
Next opponent: at #15 Luzitian Dynasty (0-13)


*****WEEK 14 PREDICTIONS*****

Here's my prediction record week by week.

Week 2: 5-3, Week 3: 7-1, Week 4: 5-3, Week 5: 7-1, Week 6: 6-2, Week 7: 7-1, Week 10: 8-0, Week 11: 6-2, Week 14:
Overall: 51-13
GOW: 3-5
8 Ball GOW: 3-5

#8 Cool Runnings (8-5) at #7 Vancouver Jive Turkeys (8-5) = Cool Runnings - Should be a really good game. Going with CR though.
Game Rating: 5/6 beers

#3 Istanbul Hellhounds (10-3) at #9 Banja Luka Blackshirts (7-6) = Istanbul Hell Hounds - This one could officially knock out the Black Shirts.
Game Rating: 4/6 beers

#10 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (6-7) at #4 Ukraine Freight Train (10-3) = Ukraine freight Train - This one could officially knock out the Funky Bunch. Boo!
Game Rating: 4/6 beers

#2 Estonia Stoners (12-1) at #1 Macedonia Trojans (13-0) = Macedonia Trojans - Fuck it! Let's get this one on!
Game Rating: 6/6 beers

#5 The Gods (9-4) at #11 Renegades of Funk (4-9) = The Gods - Gods shall pwn ROF.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#13 Providence Black Hawks (3-10) at #6 Banja Luka Boracs (8-5) = Banja Luka Boracs - Boracs pick up another W heading into the playoffs.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#14 WMD Pale Riders (2-11) at #12 Wroclaw Wrecking Crew (3-10) = Wroclaw Wrecking Crew- There has to be a winner in this one..........................right?
So I went with the team with the cooler sounding name.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#16 St. Petersburg Destroyers (0-13) at #15 Luzitian Dynasty (0-13) = Luzitian Dynasty - Zeta Toilet Bowl!!
Welcome to the win column, Dynasty. How does it feel to finally earn a W instead of those nasty L's?
Game Rating: 1/6 beers + add a shot of something that will really fuck you up to celebrate your one win Dynasty! Yay!

*Game Of The Week*
#2 Estonia Stoners (12-1) at #1 Macedonia Trojans (13-0) - Here is the game of the season in Zeta! #1 vs #2!
Estonia wants to be the man in Zeta, but if you want to be the man, you have to beat the man.
And the man in Zeta is the Trojans.
It’s time to settle this one. The upstart Stoners take on the dominating Trojans in the GOW!

Question: Will the Stoners beat the Trojans?
8 Ball's answer: Yes
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/ = Estonia Stoners
SA's GOW Pick: Macedonia Trojans

26/48 beers! – Funky Bunch vs Freight Train! Trojans vs Stoners! Hell Hounds vs Black Shirts! Cool Runnings vs J.T.'s! What a way to start off the Memorial Day weekend on Friday AM!
Keep plenty of ice ready and get the grill going early. 7 AM is a great time to start cooking out. Better make an extra beer run too. This set of games is one you won't want to miss!
Things are heating up and time is running out for some teams. Playoffs are around the corner and some teams are hanging on by a thread and some are already invited.
Time to put up or get the F out!
Let's do this shit!!


Good luck to all the teams in Zeta Conference!

____________________________________________________________________________


****ALPHA POWER RANKINGS****

LW = Last Week Ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched

#1 Kazan Golden Horde (12-1) LW 1 - With only the Pit Bulls being the only real challenge left on the Horde’s schedule, they should still go 15-1 and the #1 team in the playoffs.
Can’t wait for the Macedonia rematch.
Next opponent: #15 Hungarian Hitmen (0-13)

#2 Macedonia Diadochi (12-1) LW 2 - The very dangerous Psycho’s present the only trouble the Diadochi have to face in their last three games. Whether they win out or lose one, they will still be the #2 team in the playoffs. It just depends if the Diadochi feel like game planning for ICP or not.
Next opponent: at #13 Vienna River Bandits (4-9)

#3 Gunzenhausen Wolfpack (10-3) LW 3 - Back to back losses won’t do you any good, Wolfpack. You guys still have the Joe’s and Pity Bulls left to play.
Better straighten out or you might find yourselves out of the Top 4 in the playoffs.
Next opponent: #9 Average Joe's (6-7)

#4 Kiev Pit Bulls (10-3) LW 4 - The Pit Bulls can’t wait to sink their teeth into some Crack! That game is next, but there are two other very tough teams awaiting you guys after that.
Not a fun way to end the season, but that’s how the dog shit falls.
Next opponent: at #7 Krakow Plumber's Crack (8-5)

#5 Iron Curtain Psychos (9-4) LW 5 - The automatic win against the Gryphons will put you in the post season party for sure. But there still may be room to maneuver up a spot before it is all said and done.
Might as well go for it…………wtf.
Next opponent: #16 Bohemia Gryphons (2-11)

#6 Valhalla Einherjar (9-4) LW 6 - Welcome to the playoffs Einherjaries. With Greece Lightning up next, your place is pretty much assured of it.
Keep your eye on those Psycho’s in the season finale.
Next opponent: at #11 Greece Lightning (5-8)

#7 Krakow Plumber's Crack (8-5) LW 7 - The Crack aren’t out of the woods just yet. They are 8-5 and clinging to a playoff ticket, but with Kiev and Wildflecken still left to play, can they hold on just a little longer?
Sure, why not.
Next opponent: #4 Kiev Pit Bulls (10-3)

#8 Wildflecken Wolverines (8-5) LW 8 - Well never count the Wolverines out. Coach Ernie and his Wolverines are pulling another last minute comeback and this time find themselves within grasp of a ticket to the playoffs. Just keep winning and everything will be just fine.
Next opponent: #10 St. Petersburg Royal Guards (5-8)

#9 Average Joe's (6-7) LW 9 - Four straight losses for the Joe’s puts them at #9 and on the outside looking in at the playoff picture. If there is any hope left for the Joe’s, they will have to win the rest of their games to make it in.
Next opponent: at #3 Gunzenhausen Wolfpack (10-3)

#10 St. Petersburg Royal Guards (5-8) LW 10 - 13 games have gone by and I still don’t know what to make of the Royal Guards, except that they are a royal pain in the ass!
They lose games they should have won. The win games they should have lost. But one more loss an I won’t have to worry about them anymore.
Wolverines, Crack and the Horde all remain on their schedule, so a loss WILL happen. But when?
Next opponent: at #8 Wildflecken Wolverines (8-5)

#11 Greece Lightning (5-8) LW 11 - One more loss and it’s nothing but pictures for Greece Lightning. And with Valhalla up next, that just may be the what happens.
Just keep reminding yourselves that the Hitmen are last to play. At least you can wind the season up with a win.
Next opponent: #6 Valhalla Einherjar (9-4)

#12 Amsterdam Hallucinations (4-9) LW 13 - Sorry Aunurnt. That’s #9 in the L column. That means Hot Pics for you.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/models/200606Tami/Tami-22.jpg
Next opponent: #14 Wallachia Impalers (1-12)

#13 Vienna River Bandits (4-9) LW 12 - Well calling yourselves the Bandits was very fitting. It was a crime the way you guys played this season.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2008/07Ashley/Ashley-34.jpg
Next opponent: #2 Macedonia Diadochi (12-1)

#14 Wallachia Impalers (1-12) LW 14 - The Impalers should start drinking the Pale Ale to ease your slow suffering. Thanks for playing Pale-Alers!
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2008/07Linzi/Linzi-39.jpg
Next opponent: at #12 Amsterdam Hallucinations (4-9)

#15 Hungarian Hitmen (0-13) LW 15 - What you Hitmen need is a good old fashioned Hot Chick Sundae. Enjoy!
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2008/03Ashly/Ashly-07.jpg
Next opponent: at #1 Kazan Golden Horde (12-1)

#16 Bohemia Gryphons (2-11) LW 16 - Game over. Please insert coin to play.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2008/02Laura/Laura-40.jpg
Next opponent: at #5 Iron Curtain Psychos (9-4)


*****WEEK 14 PREDICTIONS*****

Here's my prediction record week by week.

Week 2: 7-1, Week 3: 7-1, Week 4: 6-2, Week 5: 8-0, Week 6: 8-0, Week 7: 8-0, Week 10: 5-3, Week 11: 6-2, Week 14:
Overall: 55-9
GOW: 7-1 - Damn you Diadochi!!
8 Ball: 5-3

#10 St. Petersburg Royal Guards (5-8) at #8 Wildflecken Wolverines (8-5) = Wildflecken Wolverines - Hope I don't jinx you Wolverines.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers

#6 Valhalla Einherjar (9-4) at #11 Greece Lightning (5-8) = Valhalla Einherjar - Einherjar will go all Einherjarery on the Lightning.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers

#4 Kiev Pit Bulls (10-3) at #7 Krakow Plumber's Crack (8-5) = Kiev Pit Bulls - Pit Bulls will be unleashed.
Game Rating: 6/6 beers

#9 Average Joe's (6-7) at #3 Gunzenhausen Wolfpack (10-3) = Gunzenhausen Wolfpack - Sticking with the Pack to take it.
Game Rating: 4/6 beers

#2 Macedonia Diadochi (12-1) at #13 Vienna River Bandits (4-9) = Macedonia Diadochi - Macedonia plays who?.............oh..............Macedonia wins.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#16 Bohemia Gryphons (2-11) at #5 Iron Curtain Psychos (9-4) = Iron Curtain Psycho's - Automatic win for ICP.
Game Rating: 1/6 beers

#14 Wallachia Impalers (1-12) at #12 Amsterdam Hallucinations (4-9) = Amsterdam Hallucinations -
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

#15 Hungarian Hitmen (0-13) at #1 Kazan Golden Horde (12-1) = Kazan Golden Horde - Sorry Hitmen, no chance in this one.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers

*Game Of The Week*
#4 Kiev Pit Bulls (10-3) at #7 Krakow Plumber's Crack (8-5) - These doggie’s want some Crack! Kiev vs Krakow in a GLB jamboree!
Kiev has a hold of that #4 spot and can’t afford to let go now!
Krakow could cement there place in the playoffs with a win right here!
Time for these two to just go at it!

Question: Will the Crack beat the Pit Bulls?
8 Ball's answer: You may rely on it
Magic 8 Ball says: http://av.vet.ksu.edu/flash/8ball/ = Krakow Plumber's Crack
SA's GOW Pick: Kiev Pit Bulls


23/48 beers! – Woo hoo! 23 beers and two great match ups!
The GOW and the Joe’s vs Wolfpack! Joe’s are fighting for their playoff lives! Wolfpack could knock them out!
It’s a slugfest double feature in GLB this time around!
Let’s do this shit!!


Good luck to all the teams in Alpha Conference!

Hope the Stoners can pull this one out! Should be a good game either way.

It's not over yet for Bohemia -- Vienna barely beat us, and there's always Wallachia! Now excuse me while I shoot up this black tar.

Finally - The man with the insight of a $2 dollar palm reader is back and unemployed! Glad to see you got your priorites straight. Great read as always.

Thanks for these SA!

Thanks

Again, great work SA. Fun to read!!! Jackass!!!

Originally posted by C Johnson
Finally - The man with the insight of a $2 dollar palm reader is back and unemployed! Glad to see you got your priorites straight. Great read as always.

He reads palms? I thought he used his palms for something else.

Originally posted by FunkForFreedom
Originally posted by C Johnson

Finally - The man with the insight of a $2 dollar palm reader is back and unemployed! Glad to see you got your priorites straight. Great read as always.

He reads palms? I thought he used his palms for something else.

It's a sick fetish - but I think he reads other's palm while putting in some work with his own.
Go easy SA, you know that causes blindness. That must explain why I need a brail keyboard.

my money is on the trojans - either way it will provide some good scouting film

Originally posted by Smiling Assasain
#13 Vienna River Bandits (4-9) LW 12 - Well calling yourselves the Bandits was very fitting. It was a crime the way you guys played this season.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2008/07Ashley/Ashley-34.jpg
Next opponent: #2 Macedonia Diadochi (12-1)

They like being called the Ditzes, FYI

Originally posted by C Johnson
Originally posted by FunkForFreedom

Originally posted by C Johnson


Finally - The man with the insight of a $2 dollar palm reader is back and unemployed! Glad to see you got your priorites straight. Great read as always.

He reads palms? I thought he used his palms for something else.

It's a sick fetish - but I think he reads other's palm while putting in some work with his own.
Go easy SA, you know that causes blindness. That must explain why I need a brail keyboard.



It causes blindness?! No wonder I was wearing glasses at age 7!!

The Pit Bulls will not disappoint!

Krakow would like to thank you SA, for giving us our propers as often as you have in this column, I haven't been keeping track per se, but I'm pretty sure we've been GOTW at least 3 times, which is pretty cool for a team battling for the 8th seed. I'm gonna dedicate a thread.

thanks and welcome back