In no specific order and definitely not all of the good ones out there. Lets hear some others.
10. "Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol."
9. "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
8. "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do."
7. "There was nothing really as glorious as a good beer shit - I mean after drinking twenty or twenty-five beers the night before. The odor of a beer shit like that spread all around and stayed for a good hour-and-a-half. It made you realize that you were really alive.”
6. "I drink to make other people interesting."
5. "A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her"
4. "Work is the curse of the drinking classes"
3. "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
2. "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
1. "To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems"
10. "Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol."
9. "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
8. "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do."
7. "There was nothing really as glorious as a good beer shit - I mean after drinking twenty or twenty-five beers the night before. The odor of a beer shit like that spread all around and stayed for a good hour-and-a-half. It made you realize that you were really alive.”
6. "I drink to make other people interesting."
5. "A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her"
4. "Work is the curse of the drinking classes"
3. "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
2. "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
1. "To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems"