Wow, oh wow, oh fucking wow!!
Did you catch those GOW's?!?!
Gods and Jive Turkeys was a great match up, but it was the Alpha GOW that stole the show last week as the Crack came a dick hair away from upsetting the Golden Horde!!
Still 5 undefeateds in the Alpha and still 3 in the Zeta! And 3 winless in each conference as well (yes, go hide your faces all you winless teams).
But one undefeated team in Alpha won't be so undefeated this time next week.
It's week 4 in GLB, you MMO nerds!!
Let's do this shit!!
________________________________________________________________________________________________
You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.
****ZETA POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Macedonia Trojans (3-0) LW 1 - ........and the Trojans keep rolling along. 41-3 over ROF. ROF tried to slow down the passing attack, but it was the Trojans ground game that did the most damage.
You have to have a good ground game to get all that penetrating and thrusting and thrusting and thrusting and screams of ecstacy and butt slapping and hot, sweaty passion and.............and.............and.............and............and I'm spent.
I had no idea GLB could turn you on like that, but when you haven't been laid in 7 years like me, even a 41-3 win on an online game will do it to ya'.
The Wreck of Wroclaw is up next.
Next opponent: at #15 Wroclaw Wrecking Crew (0-3)
#2 The Gods (3-0) LW 2 - The Gods just escaped the Jive Turkeys in game 3, 55-42. Paul "L33t" Sikora and Chek Abioye seemed to glide right through the Vancouver front four.
The Blackshirts are up next to try and dish out a loss to the Gods.
Next opponent: #9 Banja Luka Blackshirts (1-2)
#3 Istanbul Hellhounds (3-0) LW 3 - *YYAAAAAWWWNNN*.........oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you Hell Hounds were ready to play a real game.
You want a real game to play?................Well you got a real game to play now!!
The Funky Bunch are up next, enjoy!
Next opponent: at #4 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (2-1)
#4 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (2-1) LW 4 - OK Funky Bunchers, you had your fun with WMD by 104-3. Now go to the pet store and pick a nice puppy to play with. Maybe pick a Hell Hound.
Nice doggy, pretty doggy.
Next opponent: #3 Istanbul Hellhounds (3-0)
#5 Cool Runnings (2-1) LW 6 - Cool Runnings took care of the Wreck in the last game, 87-13. Well fuck me Cool Runnings. Hope you guys enjoy your vacation at St Petersburg.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1zdce_the-gogos-vacation_music
Next opponent: at #16 St. Petersburg Destroyers (0-3)
#6 Estonia Stoners (2-1) LW 5 - Whew! Coming back to tie the game up and win in OT is a freakin' heart attack!! Way to get that win though.
Are you guys pumping points into "Big Heart" or something? Well if not, don't waste your time. You guys got that down pat.
You might not need it against the Pale Riders.
Next opponent: #12 WMD Pale Riders (1-2)
#7 Ukraine Freight Train (2-1) LW 11 - What is that saying, "rather be lucky than good"? Well that applied to the Train in game 3 against the Boracs. Ukraine didn't have the best numbers, except for one. 30-24.
Keep it going against ROF.
Next opponent: at #11 Renegades of Funk (1-2)
#8 Vancouver Jive Turkeys (1-2) LW 7 - Jive Turkeys, it's not your offense that is the problem. It's your Swiss cheese D. 42 points against the Gods is nice production. 55 points to the Gods just sucks.
The upstart Black Hawks are up next.
Next opponent: at #13 Providence Black Hawks (1-2)
#9 Banja Luka Blackshirts (1-2) LW 8 - The Blackshirts have dropped two in a row after a promising start. But now they are 1-2 and the thought of 1-3 is right around the corner with the Gods up next.
Next opponent: at #2 The Gods (3-0)
#10 Banja Luka Boracs (1-2) LW 9 - Boracs are definitely in every game they have played so far. If it weren't for bad ST coverage on that last play of the game, you guys would have won. Maybe the rest of the team should line up and take turns kicking all the Punt Coverage team players in the nuts. That always provides good motivation on my players' teams.
But take heart, the Dynasty are up next.
Next opponent: #14 Luzitian Dynasty (0-3)
#11 Renegades of Funk (1-2) LW 10 - Hard loss to the Trojans. 3-41 is bad.
But keep on funking around Renegades!
The Ukraine Freight Train pulls into Babylon and a chance at a W comes with it.
Next opponent: #7 Ukraine Freight Train (2-1)
#12 WMD Pale Riders (1-2) LW 12 - Oh man. The Funky Bunch made the Pale Riders look like Pole Sliders in that last loss. 104-3? Really?
Well it isn't over yet, you guys have a lot of losses to go through before it is over for you.
And here comes one now with the Stoners.
Next opponent: at #6 Estonia Stoners (2-1)
#13 Providence Black Hawks (1-2) LW 15 - Black Hawks get their EEA1 cherry popped! Yay! 1-2 you guys go! And what a crazy fricking game that was! Wildest 4th quarter so far this season!
Can a Black Hawk take down a Jive Turkey? We will see next game.
Next opponent: #8 Vancouver Jive Turkeys (1-2)
#14 Luzitian Dynasty (0-3) LW 13 - Well you guys are improving your losses. 6-66, 27-49, 38-41, maybe this next game will actually be a win.
Go to the Boracs, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Next opponent: at #10 Banja Luka Boracs (1-2)
#15 Wroclaw Wrecking Crew (0-3) LW 14 - The crew is 0-3, giving up an average of 50+ points a game and the Trojans are up next.......................Oy!
You guys might start getting hot chick pics early.
Next opponent: #1 Macedonia Trojans (3-0)
#16 St. Petersburg Destroyers (0-3) LW 16 - 0-3, 0-3, here's a pic for you and me!
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/08Lauren/Lauren-40.jpg
Next opponent: #5 Cool Runnings (2-1)
*****WEEK 4 PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 2: 5-3, Week 3: 7-1, Week 4:
Overall: 12-4
GOW: 1-1
8 Ball: 2-0 - 8 Ball is batting .1000 in it's picks in Zeta.
#5 Cool Runnings (2-1) at #16 St Petersburg Destroyers (0-3) = Cool Runnings - No comment.
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#14 Luzitian Dynasty (0-3) at #10 Banja Luka Boracs (1-2) = Banja Luka Boracs - Boracs should rebound from the loss and win this one.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#8 Vancouver Jive Turkeys (1-2) at #13 Providence Black Hawks (1-2) = Vancouver Jive Turkeys - OK, J.T.'s! It's time to put up or put out! A win here will put you back at .500.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#7 Ukraine Freight Train (2-1) at #11 Renegades of Funk (1-2) = ROF - Well I may regret this one, but I gotta' stick with my brothers in funk.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#12 WMD Pale Riders (1-2) at #6 Estonia Stoners (2-1) = Estonia Stoners - Light them if you got them, Stoners. Free munchies at the stadium food court if you win this one.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#3 Istanbul Hellhounds (3-0) at #4 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (2-1) = Banja Luka Funky Bunch - I am going to pick the upset on this game.
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#9 Banja Luka Blackshirts (1-2) at #2 The Gods (3-0) = The Gods - The Gods are playing too God-like to be stopped now.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#1 Macedonia Trojans (3-0) at #15 Wroclaw Wrecking Crew (0-3) = Macedonia Trojans - Trojans will demolish the Wrecking Crew.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
*Game Of The Week*
#3 Istanbul Hellhounds (3-0) at #4 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (2-1) = Banja Luka Funky Bunch - #4 takes on #3! Mano y mano! Face to face! A great battle here from two teams that made the playoffs last season!
The Hell Hounds dominated early last season, but fell apart.
The Funky Bunch stayed strong all season, but were dismissed from the playoffs in round 1!
It's GLB mayhem at it's finest! Don't turn the channel! Don't leave the room! Hell, don't even get up to use the bathroom! Just crap your pants like I do!
You won't want to miss a simulated down in this one!
Magic 8 Ball says: Banja Luka Funky Bunch - You may rely on it.
23/48 beers! - Yes! We are on par here people! Wooo hooo! 23 beers this week in GLB! But honestly there is only one real good match up over all in Zeta. The GOW, Istanbul vs Funky Bunch! #3 vs #4! Save all 23 beers for that game and let the liver do it's magic!
And Stoners, if you want to be invited to the party make sure you bring a big bag for everyone to share in the goodness.
Don't come empty handed.
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta Conference!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ALPHA POWER RANKINGS****
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Kazan Golden Horde (3-0) LW 1 - Whew! 58-55 gave the Horde a real scare in the game against the Crack. And you had to come from behind to win it with a TD pass with 3 seconds left. Frickin' crazy!!
Breathe a sigh of relief, because the Golden Horde came so close to becoming the Golden Shower in that one.
Get ready for Auburnt's finest mind expanding products that money can buy, up next.
Next opponent: at #9 Amsterdam Hallucinations (1-2)
#2 Macedonia Diadochi (3-0) LW 2 - Macedonia has only given up 25 points in three games. They suck. How could they give up 25 points?
Just kidding.
But they will need that stingy D to give up less against Valhalla in game 4.
Next opponent: at #5 Valhalla Einherjar (3-0)
#3 Gunzenhausen Wolfpack (3-0) LW 3 - Whew! I almost jinxed you guys in the last game. 28-27 against those "never say die" Wolverines. They had you down until the 4th quarter came around.
But now you get an easy game against..............the Crack?..............oh shit...............never mind.
Next opponent: at #8 Krakow Plumbers Crack (1-2)
#4 Kiev Pit Bulls (3-0) LW 4 - They have destroyed all their competition thus far in three games. But the Psycho's are some crazy mofo's and pose a tougher challenge than what they have faced to date.
Next opponent: #6 Iron Curtain Psychos (2-1)
#5 Valhalla Einherjar (3-0) LW 5 - Tihe Ei.............no, I'm not even going to try. The team from Valhalla has run away with all three of their games. The last two were hardly a sweat breaker for these guys.
Time to put your serious face on, because the #2 Diadochi are up next. And they don't fuck around.
Next opponent: #2 Macedonia Diadochi (3-0)
#6 Iron Curtain Psychos (2-1) LW 6 - The Psycho's proved they can beat the shit out oft he weaker teams, but have yet to beat a good team.
Here is your chance to prove you guys are a swinging dick in this league.
The Pit Bulls are up next.
Next opponent: at #4 Kiev Pit Bulls (3-0)
#7 Average Joe's (2-1) LW 9 - The Joe's look like they are ready top make some noise in this conference. Last season the Joe's and Gryphons were battling it out in the last game of the season for that last playoff spot.
Prolly won't be as big a fight as last time they faced each other, but it's a chance for the Joe's to move up.
Next opponent: #11 Bohemia Gryphons (1-2)
#8 Krakow Plumbers Crack (1-2) LW 8 - The Crack are much better than their record states. They came within one play of knocking off the #1 Horde.
The next game will be as tough as the first three. The #3 Wolfpack are up next.
Next opponent: #3 Gunzenhausen Wolfpack (3-0)
#9 Amsterdam Hallucinations (1-2) LW 7 - Amsterdam has been clobbered in both of their last two games and with the Horde up next, i don't know if that will change.
But this game is the half way mark of a terrible six game stretch for them.
Get busy Amsterdam.
Next opponent: #1 Kazan Golden Horde (3-0)
#10 Greece Lightning (1-2) LW 10 - Greece lightning lost a close one to the Royal Guards, 38-44. The Lightning were leading up until that 4th quarter came around. They just couldn't seal the deal.
A tough one with the Wolverines are up next.
Next opponent: at #14 Wildflecken Wolverines (0-3)
#11 Bohemia Gryphons (1-2) LW 11 - The CPU's are bringing the Gryphons down. Unless they get some big help, they will be out of the running real soon.
Bring on the Joe's.
Next opponent: at #7 Average Joe's (2-1)
#12 Vienna River Bandits (1-2) LW 12 - Well you did get a Safety on the Pit Bulls and if you had got 17 more of those, you guys would have won the game.
Here comes a real chance for a W in the Royal Guard.
Next opponent: at #13 St. Petersburg Royal Guards (1-2)
#13 St. Petersburg Royal Guards (1-2) LW 15 - Nice win over the Lightning, Royal Guard. Now all you need is three games against teams you have a good chance at beating and you guys could end up 4-4 at the half way point of the season.
Well bless my bitches! Vienna, Wallachia and Bohemia are three teams in the next 4 games that you could beat!
Go get those River Bandits.
Next opponent: #12 Vienna River Bandits (1-2)
#14 Wildflecken Wolverines (0-3) LW 13 - Here is another case of a team being better than their record shows. A 2 point loss to the Hell Hounds and a 1 point loss to the Wolfpack. These guys gotta' catch a break soon.
Well speak of the Devil! The Greece Lightning could be that break you Wolverines are looking for.
Next opponent: #10 Greece Lightning (1-2)
#15 Hungarian Hitmen (0-3) LW 14 - I don't know how good of Hitmen you guys are, but this might help you get a whack.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2001/06karin/Karin-10.jpg
Next opponent: #16 Wallachia Impalers (0-3)
#16 Wallachia Impalers (0-3) LW 16 - here is something for you guys to Impale:
http://www.bullz-eye.com/Models/200110vicki/Vicki-b16.jpg
Next opponent: at #15 Hungarian Hitmen (0-3)
*****WEEK 4 PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 2: 7-1, Week 3: 7-1, Week 4:
Overall: 14-2
GOW: 2-0
8 Ball: 1-1
#16 Wallachia Impalers (0-3) at #15 Hungarian Hitmen (0-3) = Hungarian Hitmen - The Toilet Bowl is being played early this season. Let's see which shit flushes and which becomes a floater.
I can't believe I am about to say this.................I'm picking the Hitmen to win.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#12 Vienna River Bandits (1-2) at #13 St. Petersburg Royal Guards (1-2) = St Petersburg Royal Guard - Neither team has shown much. We will just have to wait and see how this one turns out.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#10 Greece Lightning (1-2) at #14 Wildflecken Wolverines (0-3) = Wildflecken Wolverines - Picking the upset here.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#11 Bohemia Gryphons (1-2) at #7 Average Joe's (2-1) = Average Joe's - Last season this would have been a great battle. But this is season 9, go with the Joe's.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#6 Iron Curtain Psychos (2-1) at #4 Kiev Pit Bulls (3-0) = Kiev Pit Bulls - Real good match up here! Taking the Pit Bulls in this one.
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#3 Gunzenhausen Wolfpack (3-0) at #8 Krakow Plumbers Crack (1-2) = Krakow Plumber's Crack - I'm going with the underdog here. After that performance against Kazan, they gotta' get another win sooner or later.
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#2 Macedonia Diadochi (3-0) at #5 Valhalla Einherjar (3-0) = Macedonia Diadochi - The Diadochi will only pity you.
http://www.totalrocky.com/multimedia/audio/pitythefool.wav
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#1 Kazan Golden Horde (3-0) at #9 Amsterdam Hallucinations (1-2) = Kazan Golden Horde - Sticking with the Horde in this one.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
*Game Of The Week*
#2 Macedonia Diadochi (3-0) at #5 Valhalla Einherjar (3-0) - Welcome to the Jungle, Valhalla!! This is your first GOW!
#2 vs #5 in the Alpha GOW!
Diadochi vs Einhrarjeryians..........well I can't say it, but they are good!
This one has a top 4 ranking at stake and the winner stays undefeated! The loser...........well the loser shall be ridiculed by all!
Let's make this one a "No DQ Match"!
Anything goes in a game like this! Chair shots, powder in the eyes, kidnapping each others families for ransom money, kicking each others dogs, pantsing each other!
You name it, you can do it!
Let's do this shit!!
Magic 8 Ball says: Macedonia Diadochi - Outlook Good
30/48 beers! - Well pop the tops and get to g!! 30!! Count'em, 30 beers! I think that is a new record. Horde vs Hallucinations, Wolfpack vs Plumber's Crack, Pit Bulls vs Psycho's and a really good GOW!! Great match ups this time around!
Get the grill set up and the beer on ice! And if you feel really crazy, you might tell those Hallucinations to bring the goods. Either way it will be a great Saturday morning full of games and GLB action!
See you at 6 AM.
Good luck to all the teams in Alpha Conference!
Did you catch those GOW's?!?!
Gods and Jive Turkeys was a great match up, but it was the Alpha GOW that stole the show last week as the Crack came a dick hair away from upsetting the Golden Horde!!
Still 5 undefeateds in the Alpha and still 3 in the Zeta! And 3 winless in each conference as well (yes, go hide your faces all you winless teams).
But one undefeated team in Alpha won't be so undefeated this time next week.
It's week 4 in GLB, you MMO nerds!!
Let's do this shit!!
________________________________________________________________________________________________
You may or may not agree with them, but this is how I see them.
****ZETA POWER RANKINGS****
LW = Last Week ranking
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Macedonia Trojans (3-0) LW 1 - ........and the Trojans keep rolling along. 41-3 over ROF. ROF tried to slow down the passing attack, but it was the Trojans ground game that did the most damage.
You have to have a good ground game to get all that penetrating and thrusting and thrusting and thrusting and screams of ecstacy and butt slapping and hot, sweaty passion and.............and.............and.............and............and I'm spent.
I had no idea GLB could turn you on like that, but when you haven't been laid in 7 years like me, even a 41-3 win on an online game will do it to ya'.
The Wreck of Wroclaw is up next.
Next opponent: at #15 Wroclaw Wrecking Crew (0-3)
#2 The Gods (3-0) LW 2 - The Gods just escaped the Jive Turkeys in game 3, 55-42. Paul "L33t" Sikora and Chek Abioye seemed to glide right through the Vancouver front four.
The Blackshirts are up next to try and dish out a loss to the Gods.
Next opponent: #9 Banja Luka Blackshirts (1-2)
#3 Istanbul Hellhounds (3-0) LW 3 - *YYAAAAAWWWNNN*.........oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you Hell Hounds were ready to play a real game.
You want a real game to play?................Well you got a real game to play now!!
The Funky Bunch are up next, enjoy!
Next opponent: at #4 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (2-1)
#4 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (2-1) LW 4 - OK Funky Bunchers, you had your fun with WMD by 104-3. Now go to the pet store and pick a nice puppy to play with. Maybe pick a Hell Hound.
Nice doggy, pretty doggy.
Next opponent: #3 Istanbul Hellhounds (3-0)
#5 Cool Runnings (2-1) LW 6 - Cool Runnings took care of the Wreck in the last game, 87-13. Well fuck me Cool Runnings. Hope you guys enjoy your vacation at St Petersburg.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1zdce_the-gogos-vacation_music
Next opponent: at #16 St. Petersburg Destroyers (0-3)
#6 Estonia Stoners (2-1) LW 5 - Whew! Coming back to tie the game up and win in OT is a freakin' heart attack!! Way to get that win though.
Are you guys pumping points into "Big Heart" or something? Well if not, don't waste your time. You guys got that down pat.
You might not need it against the Pale Riders.
Next opponent: #12 WMD Pale Riders (1-2)
#7 Ukraine Freight Train (2-1) LW 11 - What is that saying, "rather be lucky than good"? Well that applied to the Train in game 3 against the Boracs. Ukraine didn't have the best numbers, except for one. 30-24.
Keep it going against ROF.
Next opponent: at #11 Renegades of Funk (1-2)
#8 Vancouver Jive Turkeys (1-2) LW 7 - Jive Turkeys, it's not your offense that is the problem. It's your Swiss cheese D. 42 points against the Gods is nice production. 55 points to the Gods just sucks.
The upstart Black Hawks are up next.
Next opponent: at #13 Providence Black Hawks (1-2)
#9 Banja Luka Blackshirts (1-2) LW 8 - The Blackshirts have dropped two in a row after a promising start. But now they are 1-2 and the thought of 1-3 is right around the corner with the Gods up next.
Next opponent: at #2 The Gods (3-0)
#10 Banja Luka Boracs (1-2) LW 9 - Boracs are definitely in every game they have played so far. If it weren't for bad ST coverage on that last play of the game, you guys would have won. Maybe the rest of the team should line up and take turns kicking all the Punt Coverage team players in the nuts. That always provides good motivation on my players' teams.
But take heart, the Dynasty are up next.
Next opponent: #14 Luzitian Dynasty (0-3)
#11 Renegades of Funk (1-2) LW 10 - Hard loss to the Trojans. 3-41 is bad.
But keep on funking around Renegades!
The Ukraine Freight Train pulls into Babylon and a chance at a W comes with it.
Next opponent: #7 Ukraine Freight Train (2-1)
#12 WMD Pale Riders (1-2) LW 12 - Oh man. The Funky Bunch made the Pale Riders look like Pole Sliders in that last loss. 104-3? Really?
Well it isn't over yet, you guys have a lot of losses to go through before it is over for you.
And here comes one now with the Stoners.
Next opponent: at #6 Estonia Stoners (2-1)
#13 Providence Black Hawks (1-2) LW 15 - Black Hawks get their EEA1 cherry popped! Yay! 1-2 you guys go! And what a crazy fricking game that was! Wildest 4th quarter so far this season!
Can a Black Hawk take down a Jive Turkey? We will see next game.
Next opponent: #8 Vancouver Jive Turkeys (1-2)
#14 Luzitian Dynasty (0-3) LW 13 - Well you guys are improving your losses. 6-66, 27-49, 38-41, maybe this next game will actually be a win.
Go to the Boracs, do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Next opponent: at #10 Banja Luka Boracs (1-2)
#15 Wroclaw Wrecking Crew (0-3) LW 14 - The crew is 0-3, giving up an average of 50+ points a game and the Trojans are up next.......................Oy!
You guys might start getting hot chick pics early.
Next opponent: #1 Macedonia Trojans (3-0)
#16 St. Petersburg Destroyers (0-3) LW 16 - 0-3, 0-3, here's a pic for you and me!
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2006/08Lauren/Lauren-40.jpg
Next opponent: #5 Cool Runnings (2-1)
*****WEEK 4 PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 2: 5-3, Week 3: 7-1, Week 4:
Overall: 12-4
GOW: 1-1
8 Ball: 2-0 - 8 Ball is batting .1000 in it's picks in Zeta.
#5 Cool Runnings (2-1) at #16 St Petersburg Destroyers (0-3) = Cool Runnings - No comment.
Game Rating: 1/6 beers
#14 Luzitian Dynasty (0-3) at #10 Banja Luka Boracs (1-2) = Banja Luka Boracs - Boracs should rebound from the loss and win this one.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#8 Vancouver Jive Turkeys (1-2) at #13 Providence Black Hawks (1-2) = Vancouver Jive Turkeys - OK, J.T.'s! It's time to put up or put out! A win here will put you back at .500.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#7 Ukraine Freight Train (2-1) at #11 Renegades of Funk (1-2) = ROF - Well I may regret this one, but I gotta' stick with my brothers in funk.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#12 WMD Pale Riders (1-2) at #6 Estonia Stoners (2-1) = Estonia Stoners - Light them if you got them, Stoners. Free munchies at the stadium food court if you win this one.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#3 Istanbul Hellhounds (3-0) at #4 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (2-1) = Banja Luka Funky Bunch - I am going to pick the upset on this game.
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#9 Banja Luka Blackshirts (1-2) at #2 The Gods (3-0) = The Gods - The Gods are playing too God-like to be stopped now.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#1 Macedonia Trojans (3-0) at #15 Wroclaw Wrecking Crew (0-3) = Macedonia Trojans - Trojans will demolish the Wrecking Crew.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
*Game Of The Week*
#3 Istanbul Hellhounds (3-0) at #4 Banja Luka Funky Bunch (2-1) = Banja Luka Funky Bunch - #4 takes on #3! Mano y mano! Face to face! A great battle here from two teams that made the playoffs last season!
The Hell Hounds dominated early last season, but fell apart.
The Funky Bunch stayed strong all season, but were dismissed from the playoffs in round 1!
It's GLB mayhem at it's finest! Don't turn the channel! Don't leave the room! Hell, don't even get up to use the bathroom! Just crap your pants like I do!
You won't want to miss a simulated down in this one!
Magic 8 Ball says: Banja Luka Funky Bunch - You may rely on it.
23/48 beers! - Yes! We are on par here people! Wooo hooo! 23 beers this week in GLB! But honestly there is only one real good match up over all in Zeta. The GOW, Istanbul vs Funky Bunch! #3 vs #4! Save all 23 beers for that game and let the liver do it's magic!
And Stoners, if you want to be invited to the party make sure you bring a big bag for everyone to share in the goodness.
Don't come empty handed.
Good luck to all the teams in Zeta Conference!
____________________________________________________________________________
****ALPHA POWER RANKINGS****
* = Play Off spot clinched
#1 Kazan Golden Horde (3-0) LW 1 - Whew! 58-55 gave the Horde a real scare in the game against the Crack. And you had to come from behind to win it with a TD pass with 3 seconds left. Frickin' crazy!!
Breathe a sigh of relief, because the Golden Horde came so close to becoming the Golden Shower in that one.
Get ready for Auburnt's finest mind expanding products that money can buy, up next.
Next opponent: at #9 Amsterdam Hallucinations (1-2)
#2 Macedonia Diadochi (3-0) LW 2 - Macedonia has only given up 25 points in three games. They suck. How could they give up 25 points?
Just kidding.
But they will need that stingy D to give up less against Valhalla in game 4.
Next opponent: at #5 Valhalla Einherjar (3-0)
#3 Gunzenhausen Wolfpack (3-0) LW 3 - Whew! I almost jinxed you guys in the last game. 28-27 against those "never say die" Wolverines. They had you down until the 4th quarter came around.
But now you get an easy game against..............the Crack?..............oh shit...............never mind.
Next opponent: at #8 Krakow Plumbers Crack (1-2)
#4 Kiev Pit Bulls (3-0) LW 4 - They have destroyed all their competition thus far in three games. But the Psycho's are some crazy mofo's and pose a tougher challenge than what they have faced to date.
Next opponent: #6 Iron Curtain Psychos (2-1)
#5 Valhalla Einherjar (3-0) LW 5 - Tihe Ei.............no, I'm not even going to try. The team from Valhalla has run away with all three of their games. The last two were hardly a sweat breaker for these guys.
Time to put your serious face on, because the #2 Diadochi are up next. And they don't fuck around.
Next opponent: #2 Macedonia Diadochi (3-0)
#6 Iron Curtain Psychos (2-1) LW 6 - The Psycho's proved they can beat the shit out oft he weaker teams, but have yet to beat a good team.
Here is your chance to prove you guys are a swinging dick in this league.
The Pit Bulls are up next.
Next opponent: at #4 Kiev Pit Bulls (3-0)
#7 Average Joe's (2-1) LW 9 - The Joe's look like they are ready top make some noise in this conference. Last season the Joe's and Gryphons were battling it out in the last game of the season for that last playoff spot.
Prolly won't be as big a fight as last time they faced each other, but it's a chance for the Joe's to move up.
Next opponent: #11 Bohemia Gryphons (1-2)
#8 Krakow Plumbers Crack (1-2) LW 8 - The Crack are much better than their record states. They came within one play of knocking off the #1 Horde.
The next game will be as tough as the first three. The #3 Wolfpack are up next.
Next opponent: #3 Gunzenhausen Wolfpack (3-0)
#9 Amsterdam Hallucinations (1-2) LW 7 - Amsterdam has been clobbered in both of their last two games and with the Horde up next, i don't know if that will change.
But this game is the half way mark of a terrible six game stretch for them.
Get busy Amsterdam.
Next opponent: #1 Kazan Golden Horde (3-0)
#10 Greece Lightning (1-2) LW 10 - Greece lightning lost a close one to the Royal Guards, 38-44. The Lightning were leading up until that 4th quarter came around. They just couldn't seal the deal.
A tough one with the Wolverines are up next.
Next opponent: at #14 Wildflecken Wolverines (0-3)
#11 Bohemia Gryphons (1-2) LW 11 - The CPU's are bringing the Gryphons down. Unless they get some big help, they will be out of the running real soon.
Bring on the Joe's.
Next opponent: at #7 Average Joe's (2-1)
#12 Vienna River Bandits (1-2) LW 12 - Well you did get a Safety on the Pit Bulls and if you had got 17 more of those, you guys would have won the game.
Here comes a real chance for a W in the Royal Guard.
Next opponent: at #13 St. Petersburg Royal Guards (1-2)
#13 St. Petersburg Royal Guards (1-2) LW 15 - Nice win over the Lightning, Royal Guard. Now all you need is three games against teams you have a good chance at beating and you guys could end up 4-4 at the half way point of the season.
Well bless my bitches! Vienna, Wallachia and Bohemia are three teams in the next 4 games that you could beat!
Go get those River Bandits.
Next opponent: #12 Vienna River Bandits (1-2)
#14 Wildflecken Wolverines (0-3) LW 13 - Here is another case of a team being better than their record shows. A 2 point loss to the Hell Hounds and a 1 point loss to the Wolfpack. These guys gotta' catch a break soon.
Well speak of the Devil! The Greece Lightning could be that break you Wolverines are looking for.
Next opponent: #10 Greece Lightning (1-2)
#15 Hungarian Hitmen (0-3) LW 14 - I don't know how good of Hitmen you guys are, but this might help you get a whack.
http://www.bullz-eye.com/gnd/2001/06karin/Karin-10.jpg
Next opponent: #16 Wallachia Impalers (0-3)
#16 Wallachia Impalers (0-3) LW 16 - here is something for you guys to Impale:
http://www.bullz-eye.com/Models/200110vicki/Vicki-b16.jpg
Next opponent: at #15 Hungarian Hitmen (0-3)
*****WEEK 4 PREDICTIONS*****
Here's my prediction record week by week.
Week 2: 7-1, Week 3: 7-1, Week 4:
Overall: 14-2
GOW: 2-0
8 Ball: 1-1
#16 Wallachia Impalers (0-3) at #15 Hungarian Hitmen (0-3) = Hungarian Hitmen - The Toilet Bowl is being played early this season. Let's see which shit flushes and which becomes a floater.
I can't believe I am about to say this.................I'm picking the Hitmen to win.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#12 Vienna River Bandits (1-2) at #13 St. Petersburg Royal Guards (1-2) = St Petersburg Royal Guard - Neither team has shown much. We will just have to wait and see how this one turns out.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#10 Greece Lightning (1-2) at #14 Wildflecken Wolverines (0-3) = Wildflecken Wolverines - Picking the upset here.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
#11 Bohemia Gryphons (1-2) at #7 Average Joe's (2-1) = Average Joe's - Last season this would have been a great battle. But this is season 9, go with the Joe's.
Game Rating: 2/6 beers
#6 Iron Curtain Psychos (2-1) at #4 Kiev Pit Bulls (3-0) = Kiev Pit Bulls - Real good match up here! Taking the Pit Bulls in this one.
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#3 Gunzenhausen Wolfpack (3-0) at #8 Krakow Plumbers Crack (1-2) = Krakow Plumber's Crack - I'm going with the underdog here. After that performance against Kazan, they gotta' get another win sooner or later.
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#2 Macedonia Diadochi (3-0) at #5 Valhalla Einherjar (3-0) = Macedonia Diadochi - The Diadochi will only pity you.
http://www.totalrocky.com/multimedia/audio/pitythefool.wav
Game Rating: 6/6 beers
#1 Kazan Golden Horde (3-0) at #9 Amsterdam Hallucinations (1-2) = Kazan Golden Horde - Sticking with the Horde in this one.
Game Rating: 3/6 beers
*Game Of The Week*
#2 Macedonia Diadochi (3-0) at #5 Valhalla Einherjar (3-0) - Welcome to the Jungle, Valhalla!! This is your first GOW!
#2 vs #5 in the Alpha GOW!
Diadochi vs Einhrarjeryians..........well I can't say it, but they are good!
This one has a top 4 ranking at stake and the winner stays undefeated! The loser...........well the loser shall be ridiculed by all!
Let's make this one a "No DQ Match"!
Anything goes in a game like this! Chair shots, powder in the eyes, kidnapping each others families for ransom money, kicking each others dogs, pantsing each other!
You name it, you can do it!
Let's do this shit!!
Magic 8 Ball says: Macedonia Diadochi - Outlook Good
30/48 beers! - Well pop the tops and get to g!! 30!! Count'em, 30 beers! I think that is a new record. Horde vs Hallucinations, Wolfpack vs Plumber's Crack, Pit Bulls vs Psycho's and a really good GOW!! Great match ups this time around!
Get the grill set up and the beer on ice! And if you feel really crazy, you might tell those Hallucinations to bring the goods. Either way it will be a great Saturday morning full of games and GLB action!
See you at 6 AM.
Good luck to all the teams in Alpha Conference!
Last edited May 2, 2009 05:09:40
