Gris Gris the Cat Give Away goes wrong as the Purples Defense Come Up Big
Times Picayune
Peter Finney
May 19, 2008
It was supposed to be a show of support for the capacity crowd at the FEMA Dome. It was supposed to be a trinket that would be cherished in the land of 10 cent trinket marvels. What it turned out to be was a catastrophe with quite a humorous ending and it cost Marc Morial his position with the team.
The capacity crowd of 11260 thought they were getting a Gris Gris doll. The doll, a glittery plush depiction of the beloved mascot of the team, was sure to be a hit right? What the fans got was a Chinese death toy, coated with lead paint and stuffed with a highly combustible material and, of all things, what appeared to be poisoned tooth paste. It didn't take long to make the discovery. Several cases of the toys were delivered to the locker room at half so that the players could sign them, and toss them to the crowd. Within the first five minutes, players were feeling the effects. Breees suffered the worst damage when he tried to smoke the stuffed cat of death. The toy burst into flames singeing his eyebrows, nostril hairs, and eye lashes. Sadrick Ellis placed one of the toys in his jock. This caused a horrible and infectious rash that sparked Mecham's chronic anal yeast infection, and debilitated the entire defensive line.
Had it not been for the raucous crowd, the Purples may have found themselves on the losing end of the game. With news quickly spreading about what transpired, fans took matters in their own hands. With 3:22 left in the third quarter, several flaming cats were hurled at the field, just as Death from Above, the Ramrods star QB was dropping back to pass. The fire balls temporarily blinded the signal caller and the errant pass found its way into the hands of Stick Mark. The fans struck again by placing several of the kitty's of death in Death from Above's water bottle. With the Ramrods driving down the field late in the game for what appeared to be a go ahead score, The QB, dazed and quite confused tossed a lame duck pass right to Toi Cook. The Ramrod Defense had little trouble getting the Purples off of the field, but the damage was done. Death from Above had difficulty completing many passes and ultimately turned the ball over on downs and the Ramrods fell 14-10.
"This is absolutely insane! How on earth can a team, an organization, a damn city get away with stuff like this? I am just as sympathetic as the next guy about the whole storm thing, but where do we draw the line? These people are nuts," said an obviously shaken and distraught Death from Above. "When does someone step up? Are the feds going look into this? Are they going to construct something at the FEMA Dome to protect the innocent folks just trying to make a living? Something has to be done, and whether its FEMA, GLB, or the folks over at USA A #8, makes little difference to me, but something has to be done!"
Team Owner and President Snacks Willis announced immediately after the game Marc Morial, the head of Marketing and Public Relations, has been replaced by The Special Man. When asked if this was in direct correlation to what transpired on the field, Snacks replied, "We won damn it! If I could attribute that to Marc, he would still be with the team. He was fired because he kept harassing his secretary. That poor boy put up with enough from Marc so I decided to go in a different direction."
The Special Man will assume operations immediately. "Things are going to change, I can tell you that. K&B Vodka for the fans? Let em have it! Creole Cream Ice Cream in the locker room? Let em have it! I have my buddies Franky and Johnny on speed dial and they will be coming up with some creative ideas to make sure everyone is approved!"
The Purples are riding a three game win streak traveling down the coast to Destin. Destin, struggling with a 2-10 record, should be ready to play come Wednesday. There are few teams the "Redneck Riviera" Pimps get up for like the Purples.
Times Picayune
Peter Finney
May 19, 2008
It was supposed to be a show of support for the capacity crowd at the FEMA Dome. It was supposed to be a trinket that would be cherished in the land of 10 cent trinket marvels. What it turned out to be was a catastrophe with quite a humorous ending and it cost Marc Morial his position with the team.
The capacity crowd of 11260 thought they were getting a Gris Gris doll. The doll, a glittery plush depiction of the beloved mascot of the team, was sure to be a hit right? What the fans got was a Chinese death toy, coated with lead paint and stuffed with a highly combustible material and, of all things, what appeared to be poisoned tooth paste. It didn't take long to make the discovery. Several cases of the toys were delivered to the locker room at half so that the players could sign them, and toss them to the crowd. Within the first five minutes, players were feeling the effects. Breees suffered the worst damage when he tried to smoke the stuffed cat of death. The toy burst into flames singeing his eyebrows, nostril hairs, and eye lashes. Sadrick Ellis placed one of the toys in his jock. This caused a horrible and infectious rash that sparked Mecham's chronic anal yeast infection, and debilitated the entire defensive line.
Had it not been for the raucous crowd, the Purples may have found themselves on the losing end of the game. With news quickly spreading about what transpired, fans took matters in their own hands. With 3:22 left in the third quarter, several flaming cats were hurled at the field, just as Death from Above, the Ramrods star QB was dropping back to pass. The fire balls temporarily blinded the signal caller and the errant pass found its way into the hands of Stick Mark. The fans struck again by placing several of the kitty's of death in Death from Above's water bottle. With the Ramrods driving down the field late in the game for what appeared to be a go ahead score, The QB, dazed and quite confused tossed a lame duck pass right to Toi Cook. The Ramrod Defense had little trouble getting the Purples off of the field, but the damage was done. Death from Above had difficulty completing many passes and ultimately turned the ball over on downs and the Ramrods fell 14-10.
"This is absolutely insane! How on earth can a team, an organization, a damn city get away with stuff like this? I am just as sympathetic as the next guy about the whole storm thing, but where do we draw the line? These people are nuts," said an obviously shaken and distraught Death from Above. "When does someone step up? Are the feds going look into this? Are they going to construct something at the FEMA Dome to protect the innocent folks just trying to make a living? Something has to be done, and whether its FEMA, GLB, or the folks over at USA A #8, makes little difference to me, but something has to be done!"
Team Owner and President Snacks Willis announced immediately after the game Marc Morial, the head of Marketing and Public Relations, has been replaced by The Special Man. When asked if this was in direct correlation to what transpired on the field, Snacks replied, "We won damn it! If I could attribute that to Marc, he would still be with the team. He was fired because he kept harassing his secretary. That poor boy put up with enough from Marc so I decided to go in a different direction."
The Special Man will assume operations immediately. "Things are going to change, I can tell you that. K&B Vodka for the fans? Let em have it! Creole Cream Ice Cream in the locker room? Let em have it! I have my buddies Franky and Johnny on speed dial and they will be coming up with some creative ideas to make sure everyone is approved!"
The Purples are riding a three game win streak traveling down the coast to Destin. Destin, struggling with a 2-10 record, should be ready to play come Wednesday. There are few teams the "Redneck Riviera" Pimps get up for like the Purples.
Last edited May 19, 2008 16:49:20
