For those of you who missed me doing Round 1, I apologize. Mostly. But just like back in second grade when someone stole that one kid's lunch and he started to cry and the teacher found out and then nobody wanted to rat out the kid who stole it because he was "cool" and nobody wanted to be known as the one who narc'ed ok the cool kid, so everyone just sat there and said nothing and then the teacher - who was inappropriately hot for a second-grade teacher - told everyone that if nobody would tell, then everyone would be punished... well... there are some of you who will get the idea at this point.
Also, let it be known that I can take a slam, because I'm not beyond giving them out - this season, I've poked fun at OchoCinco1, Fat Danny, Jaxon Voom, Mango Fandango, radja mowsalot and ColaCock in these prediction segments, just to name a couple off the top of my head. First of all, you don't get mentioned if I think you're thin-skinned, and I have never done it to be mean-spirited. I don't do the prediction threads to start flame wars, I do it for entertainment value, and because this is the only writing outlet I have that usually appreciates some well-placed and subtle insults directed at the reader.
Secondly, "retard" insults are juvenile, third-grade BS. They're not funny. They're not creative. It's the intellectual equivalent of farting to get a laugh. Everyone I know grew out of that in junior high.
When I was in high school, there was this one idiot - starting defensive end, monster physically, eventually benched because he was too stupid to play - who actually went and farted, naked, in the face of this one little skinny freshman kid while we were all changing after practice one day. Our team captain, a three-time Division II National Champ and an All-American at NDSU, immediately beat the hell out of the defensive end for being stupid and mean, and afterward the rest of the defense taped him, still naked, to the parking lot railing outside. No, I was not the skinny kid, the farter or the captain, although I did supply about half the tape.
The ironic thing about the self-identified halfwits around here who resort to the "retard" comments is that their verbal skills as translated to written word don't make it past a reasonable grade-school level. Go ask mommy what "ironic" means, and if she offers the lyrics of the Alanis Morissette song as examples, she doesn't get it either, and you might have to leave your trailer park to find someone who can explain it.
Okay, I'm climbing down from my high-horse today, and to reward those of you who have been the good kids in class all school year, I'm doing Elephant predictions today as well.
Lion Conference
Quiçama Park Rangers at Tanzania Lumberjacks - Just to let you all know, in the pre-season polls, I voted for the Rangers as a top-six team. They did two better than that. I learned long ago that the last thing you do is underestimate this team's abilities to build a cohesive and talented unit and game plan. They've had both on display the past seven weeks, tearing through their own Gauntlet without a blemish, and avenging one of only three checks in the L column in a vicious beat-down in last week's playoff opener. The Lumberjacks have an idea of what's coming; in their meeting - won by the Rangers - in Week 16, the Rangers went from down 10 to up by 14 in about 10 minutes. Still, this season has had destiny written all over it for the Jacks when it started, and it still does - so far. The Rangers are masters of seizing destiny and throttling it until it pays attention to them. This is going to be an epic matchup.
Prediction: Lumberjacks, but it might take overtime to do it
South African Ratels at African Fever - If Rangers vs. Lumberjacks is epic, then this one may easily rise to legendary status. In their first meeting - early in the season, granted - the Fever escaped with a 17-14 win against what was then a Ratels team struggling to find its stride. Well, that's not a problem anymore - the Ratels ended the season with a 9-game winning streak that extended to 10 in the first-round beating of Durban. The Fever took last season's undefeated streak all the way into Week 14 of this season before dropping two in a row to fall out of the first seed themselves, and now have to face a nasty and dangerous team that's firing on all cylinders. What else do you say about a game like this, other than I wish I had the opportunity to be part of it? How 'bout, this ought to be a hell of a game to watch?
Prediction: Ratels pull out the win, and calling it an upset might not be accurate
Elephant Conference
I'm going to apologize up front for the lack of analysis. Maybe some of you more familiar with the teams can throw it in below.
Tar River Pirates at Cincy Bengals - I don't know anything about the teams, stats or rankings here; I do know, however, that these are teams with a rivalry since birth and that are the measures against which each is held. Tar River won the regular-season matchup, but Cincy took the Number 1 seed in the playoffs. Tar River overcame a tough start to the season - it was a bigger jump to AA than at least one of their GMs expected - to post the solid first-round playoff win. Cincy actually had a decent schedule, sprinkling the tough teams evently between cupcakes, which always does morale a favor, but morale or no morale, you usually have to win more games than the other guys to take that top seed. Besides, rivalry games in the playoffs are usually great games - this should be entertaining.
Prediction: Cincy takes another step toward the cup
Uganda Mounties at Seychelles Roosters - All cursing and misspelled insults aside, the Roosters are what they always have been - a very, very good football team that should never be underestimated. Their offense has always been good to great and this season has stepped up a notch, although the top defenses have found ways to slow them down. This season their defense joined the party, only twice giving up 30 or more. The Mounties were, I believe, my pre-season picks to win the conference, and though they got off to an uneven start - playing Durban and Cincy out of the box could have that effect on a lot of teams - they rebounded to finish with the third seed and a current 7-game winning streak.
Prediction: This is a pick' em - let's say Roosters because of my A5 bias.
There you have it, ya'll - No nicknames or anything, just some serious predictions for what should be some serious head-knocking. Can't wait for the conference championships.
Play nice.
Also, let it be known that I can take a slam, because I'm not beyond giving them out - this season, I've poked fun at OchoCinco1, Fat Danny, Jaxon Voom, Mango Fandango, radja mowsalot and ColaCock in these prediction segments, just to name a couple off the top of my head. First of all, you don't get mentioned if I think you're thin-skinned, and I have never done it to be mean-spirited. I don't do the prediction threads to start flame wars, I do it for entertainment value, and because this is the only writing outlet I have that usually appreciates some well-placed and subtle insults directed at the reader.
Secondly, "retard" insults are juvenile, third-grade BS. They're not funny. They're not creative. It's the intellectual equivalent of farting to get a laugh. Everyone I know grew out of that in junior high.
When I was in high school, there was this one idiot - starting defensive end, monster physically, eventually benched because he was too stupid to play - who actually went and farted, naked, in the face of this one little skinny freshman kid while we were all changing after practice one day. Our team captain, a three-time Division II National Champ and an All-American at NDSU, immediately beat the hell out of the defensive end for being stupid and mean, and afterward the rest of the defense taped him, still naked, to the parking lot railing outside. No, I was not the skinny kid, the farter or the captain, although I did supply about half the tape.
The ironic thing about the self-identified halfwits around here who resort to the "retard" comments is that their verbal skills as translated to written word don't make it past a reasonable grade-school level. Go ask mommy what "ironic" means, and if she offers the lyrics of the Alanis Morissette song as examples, she doesn't get it either, and you might have to leave your trailer park to find someone who can explain it.
Okay, I'm climbing down from my high-horse today, and to reward those of you who have been the good kids in class all school year, I'm doing Elephant predictions today as well.
Lion Conference
Quiçama Park Rangers at Tanzania Lumberjacks - Just to let you all know, in the pre-season polls, I voted for the Rangers as a top-six team. They did two better than that. I learned long ago that the last thing you do is underestimate this team's abilities to build a cohesive and talented unit and game plan. They've had both on display the past seven weeks, tearing through their own Gauntlet without a blemish, and avenging one of only three checks in the L column in a vicious beat-down in last week's playoff opener. The Lumberjacks have an idea of what's coming; in their meeting - won by the Rangers - in Week 16, the Rangers went from down 10 to up by 14 in about 10 minutes. Still, this season has had destiny written all over it for the Jacks when it started, and it still does - so far. The Rangers are masters of seizing destiny and throttling it until it pays attention to them. This is going to be an epic matchup.
Prediction: Lumberjacks, but it might take overtime to do it
South African Ratels at African Fever - If Rangers vs. Lumberjacks is epic, then this one may easily rise to legendary status. In their first meeting - early in the season, granted - the Fever escaped with a 17-14 win against what was then a Ratels team struggling to find its stride. Well, that's not a problem anymore - the Ratels ended the season with a 9-game winning streak that extended to 10 in the first-round beating of Durban. The Fever took last season's undefeated streak all the way into Week 14 of this season before dropping two in a row to fall out of the first seed themselves, and now have to face a nasty and dangerous team that's firing on all cylinders. What else do you say about a game like this, other than I wish I had the opportunity to be part of it? How 'bout, this ought to be a hell of a game to watch?
Prediction: Ratels pull out the win, and calling it an upset might not be accurate
Elephant Conference
I'm going to apologize up front for the lack of analysis. Maybe some of you more familiar with the teams can throw it in below.
Tar River Pirates at Cincy Bengals - I don't know anything about the teams, stats or rankings here; I do know, however, that these are teams with a rivalry since birth and that are the measures against which each is held. Tar River won the regular-season matchup, but Cincy took the Number 1 seed in the playoffs. Tar River overcame a tough start to the season - it was a bigger jump to AA than at least one of their GMs expected - to post the solid first-round playoff win. Cincy actually had a decent schedule, sprinkling the tough teams evently between cupcakes, which always does morale a favor, but morale or no morale, you usually have to win more games than the other guys to take that top seed. Besides, rivalry games in the playoffs are usually great games - this should be entertaining.
Prediction: Cincy takes another step toward the cup
Uganda Mounties at Seychelles Roosters - All cursing and misspelled insults aside, the Roosters are what they always have been - a very, very good football team that should never be underestimated. Their offense has always been good to great and this season has stepped up a notch, although the top defenses have found ways to slow them down. This season their defense joined the party, only twice giving up 30 or more. The Mounties were, I believe, my pre-season picks to win the conference, and though they got off to an uneven start - playing Durban and Cincy out of the box could have that effect on a lot of teams - they rebounded to finish with the third seed and a current 7-game winning streak.
Prediction: This is a pick' em - let's say Roosters because of my A5 bias.
There you have it, ya'll - No nicknames or anything, just some serious predictions for what should be some serious head-knocking. Can't wait for the conference championships.
Play nice.
Last edited Mar 31, 2009 16:04:28
