That's cool that they did this. Representing MMA!
-wtk
-wtk
piiyb_i_will
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I've had three sharp poops this month, all resulting in a bloody stool. It feels as if somebody stuck a katana in my fruit loops, but I know nothing about infection and the sort.
Should I do something?
Should I do something?
thegenerel
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offline
Originally posted by piiyb_i_will
I've had three sharp poops this month, all resulting in a bloody stool. It feels as if somebody stuck a katana in my fruit loops, but I know nothing about infection and the sort.
Should I do something?
BSN NO-explode is an nitrous oxide supplement and the number 1 selling product on bodybuilding.com. Allegedly used by 8 time Mr Olmypia Ronnie Coleman it has helped BSN skyrocket to be one of the leaders of the supplement market along with Muscle Tech. There are some users who swear by its amazing effects and others who say its no better as a supplement than cell-tech or kool-aid.
Its up to you to decide.
I've had three sharp poops this month, all resulting in a bloody stool. It feels as if somebody stuck a katana in my fruit loops, but I know nothing about infection and the sort.
Should I do something?
BSN NO-explode is an nitrous oxide supplement and the number 1 selling product on bodybuilding.com. Allegedly used by 8 time Mr Olmypia Ronnie Coleman it has helped BSN skyrocket to be one of the leaders of the supplement market along with Muscle Tech. There are some users who swear by its amazing effects and others who say its no better as a supplement than cell-tech or kool-aid.
Its up to you to decide.
piiyb_i_will
offline
offline
Originally posted by thegenerel
Originally posted by piiyb_i_will
I've had three sharp poops this month, all resulting in a bloody stool. It feels as if somebody stuck a katana in my fruit loops, but I know nothing about infection and the sort.
Should I do something?
BSN NO-explode is an nitrous oxide supplement and the number 1 selling product on bodybuilding.com. Allegedly used by 8 time Mr Olmypia Ronnie Coleman it has helped BSN skyrocket to be one of the leaders of the supplement market along with Muscle Tech. There are some users who swear by its amazing effects and others who say its no better as a supplement than cell-tech or kool-aid.
Its up to you to decide. On Tuesday I found blood in my poop.
It was pretty gross. I'm one of those guys that always looks in the toilet after pooping, I guess to admire my handiwork. Tuesday I was greeted with a bright red streak that ran along each log, plus some floaty blood in the water. Pretty gross. That was my morning poop. When the blood reoccurred during my afternoon poop, I called my mommy.
Mommy advised me to call the doctor. So I called the doctor. He asked if there were "copious" amounts of blood in my stool. He defined "copious" to be "more than a cupful." When I responded negative, he said it was not a big deal ("perhaps just an internal hemorrhoid") and told me to come in for a rectal exam on Thursday.
On Wednesday there was no blood in my poop.
On Thursday morning was no blood in my poop.
On Thursday afternoon I went in for my rectal exam.
Since I'm young and in good health, and there wasn't copious amounts of blood, it probably wasn't colon cancer. But he wanted to check out my nether regions, just to see what he could see.
I'll call him Dr. K. to protect his anonymity -- I wouldn't want my friends to know if I stuck my finger up his butt, so I'll afford him equal courtesy.
The nurse took my blood pressure and temperature, and pronounced me fine. After she left, Dr. K. came in and had me re-describe my problem to him. He listened, repeated his prediction that it wasn't anything major, and told me to drop 'em.
So I stood pantsless in front of Dr. K.
"Well, since you're here, I'm going to teach you how to check yourself for testicular cancer."
And so he did. Fellas, pay attention. We should be examining our testicles as often as girls exam their breasts. The testicles, for those of you who don't know, are egg shaped, with nubs at the top and the bottom, and a tube that runs down the length of it. So if you feel any other nubs or growths other than those I just mentioned, call your doctor.
Dr. K. looked me in the eye as he felt my left testicle followed by my right, pronouncing my testicles fit as a fiddle. I was a bit scared that Little Dave would respond inappropriately -- hey, Little Dave has no eyes. I'm sure he thinks that anyone touching down there must be doing it with my permission, and therefore in an amorous way. But fortunately, Little Dave showed the proper restraint, and Dr. K. moved on.
After administering a hernia test ("turn your head and cough"), it was time.
"Turn around," said Dr. K.
I turned around.
"Put your elbows on the counter."
I put my elbows on the counter.
Dr. K. opened up a drawer in the counter and took out a tube of K.Y. Jelly.
Dr. K. spread the K.Y. Jelly on his rubber glove clad fingers.
Dr. K. stuck his finger in my butt.
Dr. K. moved his finger around, quickly but carefully exploring the area, searching for any abnormalities.
Dr. K. removed his finger from my butt.
Dr. K. removed his rubber glove and pointed me in the direction of some tissues I could use to wipe up. I discovered I needed seven or eight return trips to completely wipe up my mess.
"I didn't find any hemorrhoids or any other masses," said Dr. K. "Your prostate feels fine, everything feels fine," said Dr. K. "I don't think you have anything to worry about," Dr. K. informed me. "Just keep watching your stool in case something else turns up," Dr. K. requested. "We could send you to a specialist, but I don't think they'd find anything either," Dr. K. opined.
And so my ordeal was over. It wasn't terrible -- not the most natural event, as one can imagine, but it wasn't painful. It felt kind of like pooping, except instead of poop going out, it was like a big wriggly poo trying to force its way back in.
The reason for the blood in my poo remains a mystery. Was it some weird 24-hour colon sickness? Did I drink red paint without knowing it? Or maybe... was it just my subconscious's way of generating more content for PoopReport?
Originally posted by piiyb_i_will
I've had three sharp poops this month, all resulting in a bloody stool. It feels as if somebody stuck a katana in my fruit loops, but I know nothing about infection and the sort.
Should I do something?
BSN NO-explode is an nitrous oxide supplement and the number 1 selling product on bodybuilding.com. Allegedly used by 8 time Mr Olmypia Ronnie Coleman it has helped BSN skyrocket to be one of the leaders of the supplement market along with Muscle Tech. There are some users who swear by its amazing effects and others who say its no better as a supplement than cell-tech or kool-aid.
Its up to you to decide. On Tuesday I found blood in my poop.
It was pretty gross. I'm one of those guys that always looks in the toilet after pooping, I guess to admire my handiwork. Tuesday I was greeted with a bright red streak that ran along each log, plus some floaty blood in the water. Pretty gross. That was my morning poop. When the blood reoccurred during my afternoon poop, I called my mommy.
Mommy advised me to call the doctor. So I called the doctor. He asked if there were "copious" amounts of blood in my stool. He defined "copious" to be "more than a cupful." When I responded negative, he said it was not a big deal ("perhaps just an internal hemorrhoid") and told me to come in for a rectal exam on Thursday.
On Wednesday there was no blood in my poop.
On Thursday morning was no blood in my poop.
On Thursday afternoon I went in for my rectal exam.
Since I'm young and in good health, and there wasn't copious amounts of blood, it probably wasn't colon cancer. But he wanted to check out my nether regions, just to see what he could see.
I'll call him Dr. K. to protect his anonymity -- I wouldn't want my friends to know if I stuck my finger up his butt, so I'll afford him equal courtesy.
The nurse took my blood pressure and temperature, and pronounced me fine. After she left, Dr. K. came in and had me re-describe my problem to him. He listened, repeated his prediction that it wasn't anything major, and told me to drop 'em.
So I stood pantsless in front of Dr. K.
"Well, since you're here, I'm going to teach you how to check yourself for testicular cancer."
And so he did. Fellas, pay attention. We should be examining our testicles as often as girls exam their breasts. The testicles, for those of you who don't know, are egg shaped, with nubs at the top and the bottom, and a tube that runs down the length of it. So if you feel any other nubs or growths other than those I just mentioned, call your doctor.
Dr. K. looked me in the eye as he felt my left testicle followed by my right, pronouncing my testicles fit as a fiddle. I was a bit scared that Little Dave would respond inappropriately -- hey, Little Dave has no eyes. I'm sure he thinks that anyone touching down there must be doing it with my permission, and therefore in an amorous way. But fortunately, Little Dave showed the proper restraint, and Dr. K. moved on.
After administering a hernia test ("turn your head and cough"), it was time.
"Turn around," said Dr. K.
I turned around.
"Put your elbows on the counter."
I put my elbows on the counter.
Dr. K. opened up a drawer in the counter and took out a tube of K.Y. Jelly.
Dr. K. spread the K.Y. Jelly on his rubber glove clad fingers.
Dr. K. stuck his finger in my butt.
Dr. K. moved his finger around, quickly but carefully exploring the area, searching for any abnormalities.
Dr. K. removed his finger from my butt.
Dr. K. removed his rubber glove and pointed me in the direction of some tissues I could use to wipe up. I discovered I needed seven or eight return trips to completely wipe up my mess.
"I didn't find any hemorrhoids or any other masses," said Dr. K. "Your prostate feels fine, everything feels fine," said Dr. K. "I don't think you have anything to worry about," Dr. K. informed me. "Just keep watching your stool in case something else turns up," Dr. K. requested. "We could send you to a specialist, but I don't think they'd find anything either," Dr. K. opined.
And so my ordeal was over. It wasn't terrible -- not the most natural event, as one can imagine, but it wasn't painful. It felt kind of like pooping, except instead of poop going out, it was like a big wriggly poo trying to force its way back in.
The reason for the blood in my poo remains a mystery. Was it some weird 24-hour colon sickness? Did I drink red paint without knowing it? Or maybe... was it just my subconscious's way of generating more content for PoopReport?
thegenerel
offline
offline
Originally posted by piiyb_i_will
Originally posted by thegenerel
Originally posted by piiyb_i_will
I've had three sharp poops this month, all resulting in a bloody stool. It feels as if somebody stuck a katana in my fruit loops, but I know nothing about infection and the sort.
Should I do something?
BSN NO-explode is an nitrous oxide supplement and the number 1 selling product on bodybuilding.com. Allegedly used by 8 time Mr Olmypia Ronnie Coleman it has helped BSN skyrocket to be one of the leaders of the supplement market along with Muscle Tech. There are some users who swear by its amazing effects and others who say its no better as a supplement than cell-tech or kool-aid.
Its up to you to decide. On Tuesday I found blood in my poop.
It was pretty gross. I'm one of those guys that always looks in the toilet after pooping, I guess to admire my handiwork. Tuesday I was greeted with a bright red streak that ran along each log, plus some floaty blood in the water. Pretty gross. That was my morning poop. When the blood reoccurred during my afternoon poop, I called my mommy.
Mommy advised me to call the doctor. So I called the doctor. He asked if there were "copious" amounts of blood in my stool. He defined "copious" to be "more than a cupful." When I responded negative, he said it was not a big deal ("perhaps just an internal hemorrhoid") and told me to come in for a rectal exam on Thursday.
On Wednesday there was no blood in my poop.
On Thursday morning was no blood in my poop.
On Thursday afternoon I went in for my rectal exam.
Since I'm young and in good health, and there wasn't copious amounts of blood, it probably wasn't colon cancer. But he wanted to check out my nether regions, just to see what he could see.
I'll call him Dr. K. to protect his anonymity -- I wouldn't want my friends to know if I stuck my finger up his butt, so I'll afford him equal courtesy.
The nurse took my blood pressure and temperature, and pronounced me fine. After she left, Dr. K. came in and had me re-describe my problem to him. He listened, repeated his prediction that it wasn't anything major, and told me to drop 'em.
So I stood pantsless in front of Dr. K.
"Well, since you're here, I'm going to teach you how to check yourself for testicular cancer."
And so he did. Fellas, pay attention. We should be examining our testicles as often as girls exam their breasts. The testicles, for those of you who don't know, are egg shaped, with nubs at the top and the bottom, and a tube that runs down the length of it. So if you feel any other nubs or growths other than those I just mentioned, call your doctor.
Dr. K. looked me in the eye as he felt my left testicle followed by my right, pronouncing my testicles fit as a fiddle. I was a bit scared that Little Dave would respond inappropriately -- hey, Little Dave has no eyes. I'm sure he thinks that anyone touching down there must be doing it with my permission, and therefore in an amorous way. But fortunately, Little Dave showed the proper restraint, and Dr. K. moved on.
After administering a hernia test ("turn your head and cough"), it was time.
"Turn around," said Dr. K.
I turned around.
"Put your elbows on the counter."
I put my elbows on the counter.
Dr. K. opened up a drawer in the counter and took out a tube of K.Y. Jelly.
Dr. K. spread the K.Y. Jelly on his rubber glove clad fingers.
Dr. K. stuck his finger in my butt.
Dr. K. moved his finger around, quickly but carefully exploring the area, searching for any abnormalities.
Dr. K. removed his finger from my butt.
Dr. K. removed his rubber glove and pointed me in the direction of some tissues I could use to wipe up. I discovered I needed seven or eight return trips to completely wipe up my mess.
"I didn't find any hemorrhoids or any other masses," said Dr. K. "Your prostate feels fine, everything feels fine," said Dr. K. "I don't think you have anything to worry about," Dr. K. informed me. "Just keep watching your stool in case something else turns up," Dr. K. requested. "We could send you to a specialist, but I don't think they'd find anything either," Dr. K. opined.
And so my ordeal was over. It wasn't terrible -- not the most natural event, as one can imagine, but it wasn't painful. It felt kind of like pooping, except instead of poop going out, it was like a big wriggly poo trying to force its way back in.
The reason for the blood in my poo remains a mystery. Was it some weird 24-hour colon sickness? Did I drink red paint without knowing it? Or maybe... was it just my subconscious's way of generating more content for PoopReport?
RAVE: To the Boys Who TP'd My House Last Night
Date: 2008-03-19, 8:49AM PDT
To the Boys Who TP’d My House Last Night -- excellent job! No, seriously, best TP job I have ever seen. And, as the son of a former high school principal, I’ve seen a few!
It was like you’d Googled “How to TP a House”.
STEP ONE: PICK A HOUSE WHICH:
- is on the corner so lots of people driving by see your work – CHECK!
- has lots of hedges and HIGH trees to hang TP on – CHECK!
- has no fence to trap you in case you’re caught – CHECK!
- has no motion-sensitive lights to warn the owners – CHECK!
- has no dog – DOH!
Yes, we have a dog – and you should have known that because he barks at you when you walk by. Our barking dog woke me up. And finally, pick a house which:
- doesn’t have an owner crazy enough to take down all your handiwork in the middle of the night before anyone gets to witness your genius – DOH!
I was almost SORRY to be dismantling your masterpiece before morning light. If it helps, I actually stood back and took it all in before I started pulling down streams of white. But, this being Seattle, I was afraid it would rain and wet TP is REALLY hard to remove from trees. I speak from experience here.
STEP TWO: TP TECHNIQUE -- AND BEYOND
First, your TP technique was superb. I believe I got the benefit of your collective experience here? This couldn’t have been your first job.
- the sheer volume of TP was impressive. I counted no fewer than six rolls
- the TP was indeed in the HIGHEST branches of my trees – great arm! I had to climb the trees and use a rake to remove the final flapping vestiges.
- the TP was high quality, important because the cheap stuff doesn’t cling right
But it was all the EXTRAS which put this TP job in the “excellent” category:
- At least a grocery bag of ripped-into-small-pieces colored construction paper scattered across our lawn. Even in the streetlight it was pretty.
- Silly string! Come on – who doesn’t appreciate silly string? Especially on hedges. That stuff is stubborn. There’s still some out there.
- And the coup-de-grace – the Vaseline on the door handle. Brilliant! As I chased you off in my bare feet (more on this below) I noted my flash light covered in sticky stuff. Took me a while to figure out what had happened.
Now, on your escape – you did break one cardinal rule of the TP trade. If discovered do NOT run in the direction of your house. It could be argued you should lose a point for this gaff, but I suppose it can be forgiven given the lay of the land and the fact that you were likely freaked out when I burst out of my front door with flash light hand.
Would you believe I actually ENVIED you as you ran off? I truly did. Because I knew your hearts were hammering at your ribs and you were experiencing that delicious fear that comes from being discovered in the middle of perpetrating a first-class prank. “Holy crap, dude! He almost CAUGHT US!” The thought made me laugh out loud several times as I went about putting my front yard right again.
STEP THREE - DO NO HARM
Finally, what you DIDN’T DO is also important: you didn’t trample our newly planted plants or break any tree branches. You didn’t egg the house – that can destroy paint jobs. You didn’t do anything to cause any real damage to our home or property.
So – in closing – don’t be too disappointed I removed all the materials you carefully collected and brought to our house before anyone else got to see it displayed in all its glory. I am memorializing your effort here on Craigslist for all to read.
After an hour of work, as I stood back and looked at my boring de-TP’d yard, I brought to mind how much more colorful it had been just 60 mintues before. With your work in mind, I held up an imaginary score card Olympics style…10.0! Had there been crowds, they would have gone wild.
With respect,
Home Owner, Issaquah WA
P.S. btw, once is funny. Twice...not so much.
Originally posted by thegenerel
Originally posted by piiyb_i_will
I've had three sharp poops this month, all resulting in a bloody stool. It feels as if somebody stuck a katana in my fruit loops, but I know nothing about infection and the sort.
Should I do something?
BSN NO-explode is an nitrous oxide supplement and the number 1 selling product on bodybuilding.com. Allegedly used by 8 time Mr Olmypia Ronnie Coleman it has helped BSN skyrocket to be one of the leaders of the supplement market along with Muscle Tech. There are some users who swear by its amazing effects and others who say its no better as a supplement than cell-tech or kool-aid.
Its up to you to decide. On Tuesday I found blood in my poop.
It was pretty gross. I'm one of those guys that always looks in the toilet after pooping, I guess to admire my handiwork. Tuesday I was greeted with a bright red streak that ran along each log, plus some floaty blood in the water. Pretty gross. That was my morning poop. When the blood reoccurred during my afternoon poop, I called my mommy.
Mommy advised me to call the doctor. So I called the doctor. He asked if there were "copious" amounts of blood in my stool. He defined "copious" to be "more than a cupful." When I responded negative, he said it was not a big deal ("perhaps just an internal hemorrhoid") and told me to come in for a rectal exam on Thursday.
On Wednesday there was no blood in my poop.
On Thursday morning was no blood in my poop.
On Thursday afternoon I went in for my rectal exam.
Since I'm young and in good health, and there wasn't copious amounts of blood, it probably wasn't colon cancer. But he wanted to check out my nether regions, just to see what he could see.
I'll call him Dr. K. to protect his anonymity -- I wouldn't want my friends to know if I stuck my finger up his butt, so I'll afford him equal courtesy.
The nurse took my blood pressure and temperature, and pronounced me fine. After she left, Dr. K. came in and had me re-describe my problem to him. He listened, repeated his prediction that it wasn't anything major, and told me to drop 'em.
So I stood pantsless in front of Dr. K.
"Well, since you're here, I'm going to teach you how to check yourself for testicular cancer."
And so he did. Fellas, pay attention. We should be examining our testicles as often as girls exam their breasts. The testicles, for those of you who don't know, are egg shaped, with nubs at the top and the bottom, and a tube that runs down the length of it. So if you feel any other nubs or growths other than those I just mentioned, call your doctor.
Dr. K. looked me in the eye as he felt my left testicle followed by my right, pronouncing my testicles fit as a fiddle. I was a bit scared that Little Dave would respond inappropriately -- hey, Little Dave has no eyes. I'm sure he thinks that anyone touching down there must be doing it with my permission, and therefore in an amorous way. But fortunately, Little Dave showed the proper restraint, and Dr. K. moved on.
After administering a hernia test ("turn your head and cough"), it was time.
"Turn around," said Dr. K.
I turned around.
"Put your elbows on the counter."
I put my elbows on the counter.
Dr. K. opened up a drawer in the counter and took out a tube of K.Y. Jelly.
Dr. K. spread the K.Y. Jelly on his rubber glove clad fingers.
Dr. K. stuck his finger in my butt.
Dr. K. moved his finger around, quickly but carefully exploring the area, searching for any abnormalities.
Dr. K. removed his finger from my butt.
Dr. K. removed his rubber glove and pointed me in the direction of some tissues I could use to wipe up. I discovered I needed seven or eight return trips to completely wipe up my mess.
"I didn't find any hemorrhoids or any other masses," said Dr. K. "Your prostate feels fine, everything feels fine," said Dr. K. "I don't think you have anything to worry about," Dr. K. informed me. "Just keep watching your stool in case something else turns up," Dr. K. requested. "We could send you to a specialist, but I don't think they'd find anything either," Dr. K. opined.
And so my ordeal was over. It wasn't terrible -- not the most natural event, as one can imagine, but it wasn't painful. It felt kind of like pooping, except instead of poop going out, it was like a big wriggly poo trying to force its way back in.
The reason for the blood in my poo remains a mystery. Was it some weird 24-hour colon sickness? Did I drink red paint without knowing it? Or maybe... was it just my subconscious's way of generating more content for PoopReport?
RAVE: To the Boys Who TP'd My House Last Night
Date: 2008-03-19, 8:49AM PDT
To the Boys Who TP’d My House Last Night -- excellent job! No, seriously, best TP job I have ever seen. And, as the son of a former high school principal, I’ve seen a few!
It was like you’d Googled “How to TP a House”.
STEP ONE: PICK A HOUSE WHICH:
- is on the corner so lots of people driving by see your work – CHECK!
- has lots of hedges and HIGH trees to hang TP on – CHECK!
- has no fence to trap you in case you’re caught – CHECK!
- has no motion-sensitive lights to warn the owners – CHECK!
- has no dog – DOH!
Yes, we have a dog – and you should have known that because he barks at you when you walk by. Our barking dog woke me up. And finally, pick a house which:
- doesn’t have an owner crazy enough to take down all your handiwork in the middle of the night before anyone gets to witness your genius – DOH!
I was almost SORRY to be dismantling your masterpiece before morning light. If it helps, I actually stood back and took it all in before I started pulling down streams of white. But, this being Seattle, I was afraid it would rain and wet TP is REALLY hard to remove from trees. I speak from experience here.
STEP TWO: TP TECHNIQUE -- AND BEYOND
First, your TP technique was superb. I believe I got the benefit of your collective experience here? This couldn’t have been your first job.
- the sheer volume of TP was impressive. I counted no fewer than six rolls
- the TP was indeed in the HIGHEST branches of my trees – great arm! I had to climb the trees and use a rake to remove the final flapping vestiges.
- the TP was high quality, important because the cheap stuff doesn’t cling right
But it was all the EXTRAS which put this TP job in the “excellent” category:
- At least a grocery bag of ripped-into-small-pieces colored construction paper scattered across our lawn. Even in the streetlight it was pretty.
- Silly string! Come on – who doesn’t appreciate silly string? Especially on hedges. That stuff is stubborn. There’s still some out there.
- And the coup-de-grace – the Vaseline on the door handle. Brilliant! As I chased you off in my bare feet (more on this below) I noted my flash light covered in sticky stuff. Took me a while to figure out what had happened.
Now, on your escape – you did break one cardinal rule of the TP trade. If discovered do NOT run in the direction of your house. It could be argued you should lose a point for this gaff, but I suppose it can be forgiven given the lay of the land and the fact that you were likely freaked out when I burst out of my front door with flash light hand.
Would you believe I actually ENVIED you as you ran off? I truly did. Because I knew your hearts were hammering at your ribs and you were experiencing that delicious fear that comes from being discovered in the middle of perpetrating a first-class prank. “Holy crap, dude! He almost CAUGHT US!” The thought made me laugh out loud several times as I went about putting my front yard right again.
STEP THREE - DO NO HARM
Finally, what you DIDN’T DO is also important: you didn’t trample our newly planted plants or break any tree branches. You didn’t egg the house – that can destroy paint jobs. You didn’t do anything to cause any real damage to our home or property.
So – in closing – don’t be too disappointed I removed all the materials you carefully collected and brought to our house before anyone else got to see it displayed in all its glory. I am memorializing your effort here on Craigslist for all to read.
After an hour of work, as I stood back and looked at my boring de-TP’d yard, I brought to mind how much more colorful it had been just 60 mintues before. With your work in mind, I held up an imaginary score card Olympics style…10.0! Had there been crowds, they would have gone wild.
With respect,
Home Owner, Issaquah WA
P.S. btw, once is funny. Twice...not so much.
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