Where ya Went? Name Change Stops Two Game Skid.
TIMES PICAYUNE
Peter Finney
The Where Y'ats went and the NOLA Brah!!! K&B Purples reign in New Orleans has begun. The team went through some minor, and virtually unnoticed structural changes, but one very noticeable change is a new uniform complete with the K&B logo emblazoned on the team helmet. There have been rumors of a possible buy out by both Katts and Besthoff, but those rumors were repeatedly rebutted by the team owner. When probed by the Times Picayune in an exclusive interview, SnacksWillis would only offer that something may be in the works, but that a change in ownership is not what is on the table. "Look, as an owner, it is my job to make sure we put a good product on the field. There are few products better than K&B Vodka and K&B Creole Cream Cheese ice cream. When those two guys knock on your door with a case of the good stuff, you answer. I can tell you this, there is no way this team will change ownership, not after what happened with Rite Aid, Hell no!" When asked about the obvious new direction in sponsorship, Snacks gave no comment but alluded to an agreement in principle and a future announcement. "I'm not letting the cat out of the bag, but let's just say they will be backing up the refrigerated truck and unloading the Creole Cream Cheese ice cream. We will make an announcement once the ink dries."
The burning question in many minds is what will become of the FEMA Dome. The constant support problems from FEMA has plagued the team to the point where players are being asked to work the turnstiles themselves. Frank Warren, an esteemed asset to the now "Purples" laughed when this was first mentioned, but no smiles were seen when he and several other Purples were working the gate. "It's just like Katrina I tell you. I'm sure the FEMA guys will show up, but by then, we will be in the third quarter!" Allstate Insurance Indemnity Corporation has shown some interest in sponsoring the stadium, but Snacks has banned them from the premises.
"Every time Somestates shows up at the Dome, my claim gets reduced and my policy increases! They can kiss my ass!"
After the game, a 10-9 Purple's victory, all but a few players were in the locker room celebrating. "This is a good start to what we hope will be a great organization." said Rickey Jackson, the celebrated linebacker from Pitt. "We wanted to win it for Snacks. Did you know they put a lien on the Dome? Snacks has been waiting on the Road Home to pay out for almost three years now. There is only so much fighting you can do with FEMA, Allstate, and the Road Home before you just want to start drinking, drinking that refreshing K&B Vodka."
As for those not in the locker room? Danny Abramowicz, in full pads, was seen sweeping the concourse and cleaning out the aisles. When asked for a comment Danny replied, "This piss poor planning is all FEMA's fault. We got word at half that many of the workers were en route to the Dome, only to be turned around at the state line. Fix Everything My Ass!!!
Even though FEMA, insurance companies, and the Road Home remain a problem, the fans will certainly savor a win by the Purple's and a chance to put the rebuilding effort on hold, even if just for one day.
TIMES PICAYUNE
Peter Finney
The Where Y'ats went and the NOLA Brah!!! K&B Purples reign in New Orleans has begun. The team went through some minor, and virtually unnoticed structural changes, but one very noticeable change is a new uniform complete with the K&B logo emblazoned on the team helmet. There have been rumors of a possible buy out by both Katts and Besthoff, but those rumors were repeatedly rebutted by the team owner. When probed by the Times Picayune in an exclusive interview, SnacksWillis would only offer that something may be in the works, but that a change in ownership is not what is on the table. "Look, as an owner, it is my job to make sure we put a good product on the field. There are few products better than K&B Vodka and K&B Creole Cream Cheese ice cream. When those two guys knock on your door with a case of the good stuff, you answer. I can tell you this, there is no way this team will change ownership, not after what happened with Rite Aid, Hell no!" When asked about the obvious new direction in sponsorship, Snacks gave no comment but alluded to an agreement in principle and a future announcement. "I'm not letting the cat out of the bag, but let's just say they will be backing up the refrigerated truck and unloading the Creole Cream Cheese ice cream. We will make an announcement once the ink dries."
The burning question in many minds is what will become of the FEMA Dome. The constant support problems from FEMA has plagued the team to the point where players are being asked to work the turnstiles themselves. Frank Warren, an esteemed asset to the now "Purples" laughed when this was first mentioned, but no smiles were seen when he and several other Purples were working the gate. "It's just like Katrina I tell you. I'm sure the FEMA guys will show up, but by then, we will be in the third quarter!" Allstate Insurance Indemnity Corporation has shown some interest in sponsoring the stadium, but Snacks has banned them from the premises.
"Every time Somestates shows up at the Dome, my claim gets reduced and my policy increases! They can kiss my ass!"
After the game, a 10-9 Purple's victory, all but a few players were in the locker room celebrating. "This is a good start to what we hope will be a great organization." said Rickey Jackson, the celebrated linebacker from Pitt. "We wanted to win it for Snacks. Did you know they put a lien on the Dome? Snacks has been waiting on the Road Home to pay out for almost three years now. There is only so much fighting you can do with FEMA, Allstate, and the Road Home before you just want to start drinking, drinking that refreshing K&B Vodka."
As for those not in the locker room? Danny Abramowicz, in full pads, was seen sweeping the concourse and cleaning out the aisles. When asked for a comment Danny replied, "This piss poor planning is all FEMA's fault. We got word at half that many of the workers were en route to the Dome, only to be turned around at the state line. Fix Everything My Ass!!!
Even though FEMA, insurance companies, and the Road Home remain a problem, the fans will certainly savor a win by the Purple's and a chance to put the rebuilding effort on hold, even if just for one day.
