Week one was certainly interesting. Not so much with the games themselves, but in the war to be the biggest doorknob on the forums. If people are pricks than this league is like a rosebush.
Onto the picks as we go into the first week of inter conference play.
Lets start in the East, where on many fronts, its like a bunch of bull field mice bragging about who is the most well hung.
SquareEnix All-Stars (1-0) vs Weyburn Wolverines (0-1)- Oh those tricky All-Stars. They broke open the playbook against a computer owned team and attempted 30 passes in week one. Thats 30 more than they did in the entire run in the playoffs last season. Look for them to get nervous against a human owned team and scale the gameplan back to either run middle or run right,. This will put everyone in the stands to sleep and nobody will be awake to see the stars win a second game.
Dictators (1-0) vs Lake Michigan Maelstrom (0-1) - a Maelstrom is apparently a very big whirlpool...similar to a vortex. Vortex always suck. Look for Lake Michigan to do the same in this game and the Dictators to win.
Little Rock (1-0) vs Montreal (1-0)- I found out something disturbing in the past couple of days, and that is that myself and the owner of the Razorbacks have players on the same team in another league. I feel kind of dirty in a "I'm Bobby Petrino and I am your coach" kind of way. Take the piggies to win and the Expos starting pitching to get roughed up early.
Aces and Eights (1-0) vs Sentinels (0-1)- I have to make sure I am politically correct with this prediction cause some people involved in one of these teams that shall remain nameless (but rhymes with spaces and baits) take dinky dot football a little too seriously. I live in Southern Alberta and we having things like...well...lives to keep us busy. The A+8's must be based in Edmonton where rock, sissors and paper usually ends up with somebody suffering a knife wound. Take Alberta to win game two of the season and the Sentinels to club a seal in frustration.
Texas (1-0) vs International Falls (0-1)- The bronkos lose this game after showing up with a depleted roster. Apparently when they came and played the Beef in game one they didn't stay away from the guys with the big nail guns at the gates. Special on Bronko Dogs during the Beef's second home game at the Slaughterhouse.
Hudson Bay (1-0) vs Hogsnakes (0-1)- the old Snow Fleas spooned the wrong guys during opening week and the Horrors picked up the win. The Snakes felt the Wrath. Then they went overboard and squeezed the wrath, fondled the wrath...and eventually lost to the wrath. Look for the Hogsnakes to sharpen the fangs and pick up a narrow win.
Halifax (1-0) vs Niagara (1-0)- Something I didn't know about Halifax....it is home to Canada's biggest Kidney Transplant program. Not surprisingly, the city is also home to generations of drunk fishermen. Take the Harpoons to sober out enough to pick up a win over the Ice Ice Babys.
Ontario (0-1) vs Sacramento (0-1)- Stinky beavers couldn't pick up a win against the smelly fish in week one. Look for them buck toothed rats (no, not the Sacramento cheerleaders) to get the win.
Meantime....over in the West....
Grim Afterlife (1-0) vs Alberta Stampede (0-1)- those laugh a minute, cheery guys from the the grim afterlife should be able to pick up an easy win vs the computer owned Stampeders. After the victory they all go out for ice cream with chocolate sprinkles....but remember....its very very DARK Chocolate sprinkles because they wouldn't want to ruin their reputation as being scary!!!!
Verdun Invictus (1-0) vs Borts Wrath (1-0) - I am glad I got an explanation about the Verdun team name...which for those who missed it...is based on a former junior football team in Quebec. I also noticed that team eventually merged with a team called the Maple Leafs to form the Verdun Maple Leafs.
Maple Leafs= Toronto.
Toronto = losing (and a lot of other undesirable crap).
Gotta go with the Wrath just based on that math.
Grande Prairie (1-0) vs Spooner (0-1)- I lived in Grande Prairie, Alberta for about 6 months. Undoubtedly the biggest hellhole this side of Weyburn. I also dated a girl from there and I am pretty sure she gave me a case of Snow Fleas that had to be cured with lots of shaving, a little comb and some special cream. Best we can hope for is both teams to get lost in a snow storm. If that doesn't happen take the fish to win.
Atlanta (1-0) vs Rochester (0-1)- Ok, so now the Red Raiders logo is really getting to me. Not only does it remind me of the Chicago Black Hawks guy choking to death, it also reminds me of one of those optical illusions where there are actually two faces...not just the obvious one that you see. Until this becomes less confusing to me (it doesn't take much) I will have to pick against them. Atlanta wins.
Canada (1-0) vs Thunder Bay (0-1)- Well Canada started off the season by successfully defending whatever the hell they are defending. Look for the Defenders to win....but the Huskies get all da bitches!!!
Saskatoon (0-1) vs Winnipeg (0-1)- I have been to both cities a number of times. Not sure which one is scarier. I will say Winnipeg gets the victory based on a longer history of organized crime. And by the way, congratulations on being the car theft capital of Canada for the 12th year in a row. You guys have a good thing going there. Keep it up!!!
Soo Saint Mary (0-1) VS Regina (0-1)- Regina is where the guys that are too bad ass for Saskatoon and Winnipeg go when they get sick of beating up the old ladies and the handicapped in those two cities. Ste.Marie gets bitch slapped and the Outlaws pick up the win.
and finally....Alberta Beef (1-0) vs Ohio Valley (0-1). No prediction from me on my own teams game. My only worry is that with the change in team name we no longer fly to road games. Instead we load everyone up on those cattle trailers. My only prediction....we'll be wishing we had the Snow Fleas to Spoon with to keep us warm on the trip SouthEast.
Onto the picks as we go into the first week of inter conference play.
Lets start in the East, where on many fronts, its like a bunch of bull field mice bragging about who is the most well hung.
SquareEnix All-Stars (1-0) vs Weyburn Wolverines (0-1)- Oh those tricky All-Stars. They broke open the playbook against a computer owned team and attempted 30 passes in week one. Thats 30 more than they did in the entire run in the playoffs last season. Look for them to get nervous against a human owned team and scale the gameplan back to either run middle or run right,. This will put everyone in the stands to sleep and nobody will be awake to see the stars win a second game.
Dictators (1-0) vs Lake Michigan Maelstrom (0-1) - a Maelstrom is apparently a very big whirlpool...similar to a vortex. Vortex always suck. Look for Lake Michigan to do the same in this game and the Dictators to win.
Little Rock (1-0) vs Montreal (1-0)- I found out something disturbing in the past couple of days, and that is that myself and the owner of the Razorbacks have players on the same team in another league. I feel kind of dirty in a "I'm Bobby Petrino and I am your coach" kind of way. Take the piggies to win and the Expos starting pitching to get roughed up early.
Aces and Eights (1-0) vs Sentinels (0-1)- I have to make sure I am politically correct with this prediction cause some people involved in one of these teams that shall remain nameless (but rhymes with spaces and baits) take dinky dot football a little too seriously. I live in Southern Alberta and we having things like...well...lives to keep us busy. The A+8's must be based in Edmonton where rock, sissors and paper usually ends up with somebody suffering a knife wound. Take Alberta to win game two of the season and the Sentinels to club a seal in frustration.
Texas (1-0) vs International Falls (0-1)- The bronkos lose this game after showing up with a depleted roster. Apparently when they came and played the Beef in game one they didn't stay away from the guys with the big nail guns at the gates. Special on Bronko Dogs during the Beef's second home game at the Slaughterhouse.
Hudson Bay (1-0) vs Hogsnakes (0-1)- the old Snow Fleas spooned the wrong guys during opening week and the Horrors picked up the win. The Snakes felt the Wrath. Then they went overboard and squeezed the wrath, fondled the wrath...and eventually lost to the wrath. Look for the Hogsnakes to sharpen the fangs and pick up a narrow win.
Halifax (1-0) vs Niagara (1-0)- Something I didn't know about Halifax....it is home to Canada's biggest Kidney Transplant program. Not surprisingly, the city is also home to generations of drunk fishermen. Take the Harpoons to sober out enough to pick up a win over the Ice Ice Babys.
Ontario (0-1) vs Sacramento (0-1)- Stinky beavers couldn't pick up a win against the smelly fish in week one. Look for them buck toothed rats (no, not the Sacramento cheerleaders) to get the win.
Meantime....over in the West....
Grim Afterlife (1-0) vs Alberta Stampede (0-1)- those laugh a minute, cheery guys from the the grim afterlife should be able to pick up an easy win vs the computer owned Stampeders. After the victory they all go out for ice cream with chocolate sprinkles....but remember....its very very DARK Chocolate sprinkles because they wouldn't want to ruin their reputation as being scary!!!!
Verdun Invictus (1-0) vs Borts Wrath (1-0) - I am glad I got an explanation about the Verdun team name...which for those who missed it...is based on a former junior football team in Quebec. I also noticed that team eventually merged with a team called the Maple Leafs to form the Verdun Maple Leafs.
Maple Leafs= Toronto.
Toronto = losing (and a lot of other undesirable crap).
Gotta go with the Wrath just based on that math.
Grande Prairie (1-0) vs Spooner (0-1)- I lived in Grande Prairie, Alberta for about 6 months. Undoubtedly the biggest hellhole this side of Weyburn. I also dated a girl from there and I am pretty sure she gave me a case of Snow Fleas that had to be cured with lots of shaving, a little comb and some special cream. Best we can hope for is both teams to get lost in a snow storm. If that doesn't happen take the fish to win.
Atlanta (1-0) vs Rochester (0-1)- Ok, so now the Red Raiders logo is really getting to me. Not only does it remind me of the Chicago Black Hawks guy choking to death, it also reminds me of one of those optical illusions where there are actually two faces...not just the obvious one that you see. Until this becomes less confusing to me (it doesn't take much) I will have to pick against them. Atlanta wins.
Canada (1-0) vs Thunder Bay (0-1)- Well Canada started off the season by successfully defending whatever the hell they are defending. Look for the Defenders to win....but the Huskies get all da bitches!!!
Saskatoon (0-1) vs Winnipeg (0-1)- I have been to both cities a number of times. Not sure which one is scarier. I will say Winnipeg gets the victory based on a longer history of organized crime. And by the way, congratulations on being the car theft capital of Canada for the 12th year in a row. You guys have a good thing going there. Keep it up!!!
Soo Saint Mary (0-1) VS Regina (0-1)- Regina is where the guys that are too bad ass for Saskatoon and Winnipeg go when they get sick of beating up the old ladies and the handicapped in those two cities. Ste.Marie gets bitch slapped and the Outlaws pick up the win.
and finally....Alberta Beef (1-0) vs Ohio Valley (0-1). No prediction from me on my own teams game. My only worry is that with the change in team name we no longer fly to road games. Instead we load everyone up on those cattle trailers. My only prediction....we'll be wishing we had the Snow Fleas to Spoon with to keep us warm on the trip SouthEast.
Last edited Jan 4, 2009 17:30:14
