To all criticizers of the struggling Grand Haven Mist...
In a perfect world, the Grand Haven Mist would go undefeated.
This is by no means, a perfect world...
In the words of the infamous Farmer Fran, “We lib ta pay anodder day.” Or better said by one of the few Grand Haven Mist players, who somehow managed to avoid the onslaught brought upon our offense today by the Hellhounds' dominant defense, “We live to play another day.”
Yes...we lost. Yes...it hurts. And yes, for those of you counting, that now puts our losing streak at 5 straight games! (At least we're consistent). But before our players go off and demand a trade for a “championship caliber team,” I would hope that they hear me out, because even though we have struggled since we first jumped out of the gate...I still have faith.
Game by game…or loss by loss, however you want to look at it, glass half empty or glass shattered on the floor...I give to you, our struggles thus far.
Game 1 @ Waco Davidians (5-0) – FINAL – Loss: 65-0
I won’t even begin to tackle this one, because, well…I wasn’t on the team at the time. And considering I am currently the defensive coordinator, I’m not going to go into something I wasn’t a part of. In short, Waco is 5-0, and has defeated three of the better teams in the league. We are definitely NOT one of the three better teams in the league, no surprise there, so yeah...65-0 seems about right when you are over matched in every single aspect of the game. Except maybe taking a loss in stride. I’m guessing we were pretty good sports about that. I challenge the Waco Davidians to handle a 65-0 loss the way our sobbing players did!
Game 2 Vs. Chicago Clams (1-4) – FINAL – Loss: 7-9
Ah yes! Our home opener! Fans from all across the metropolis of Grand Haven Michigan squeezed their way through the rusty turnstile gates of Death Valley Stadium and headed to their uncomfortable paint-peeled seats only to witness a game that will surely go down in history as the most embarrassing loss on the season by any team in the USA #7 West! Now, once again, I take no credit on this loss, as this was my first game with my lone Level 1 quarterback (who I am proud to say rode the bench like a champion, bless his heart). Holding a team without a touchdown is impressive. Many teams in this league can boast about it for multiple weeks at a time. We succeeded in this aspect of the game and it seemed we would have our first victory of the season behind the play of a solid defensive effort. But then those suspicious dark clouds hovering over the north end zone suddenly parted, and God himself appeared, lifting the football off the toe of the Clams' nervous little soccer-style kicker, sending it straight through the uprights to leave our team in the shadow of a 9-7 loss to the worst team in the league(Or...are WE the worst team in the league?...we did lose to a team that failed score a touchdown on us....hmmm).
Game 3 @ New Brunswick n00bs(3-2) – FINAL – Loss: 3-20
Fresh off a humiliating loss, it was time to turn things around. At this point our general manager had established an offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator…I was lucky enough to be given the later of the two (considering we have yet to score another touchdown from here out). In a game that seemed at least someone feasible to win, we prepared our strategies and made sure every player on the team had a good night’s sleep, whether that meant leaving the closet light on for out team captain or singing a soft lullaby to our 6’-2’’ 300 pound offensive tackle. Unfortunately, during the weak of practice, the thought of putting points on the board COMPLETELY slipped our minds as we forgot to run any plays that resulted in a march past the goal line (Foolish coaches, tisk, tisk)! The coaches, of course, took the blame for this and apologized to the Mists' many, supporting fans. Unfortunately, this game left our fans watching the play by play updates online (for some reason an 0-3 football team that can't score a touchdown can't even make it on the VS. Network, psh.) and quickly turned fans who originally shouted out frantic cheers of "Go! Mist! Go!" into angry ticket holders who now held signs that read "Can we score a TD? Nope! MIST BUSTED!"
Game 4 Vs. Denver Pirates (4-1) FINAL - LOSS: 0-20
And here we are. My second contest where I was able to instigate my own defense scheme into the game. And though we lost, when you look at the score, can you blame me? Well, sure you can...we gave up 20 points! We should have given up zero if we wanted to win this game, obviously! But, realistically, we held a potent Denver offense to just 292 total net yards and forced the Pirates to punt 20 times. Thats a pretty impressive performance if I do say so myself, coming from a team that has yet to earn its first victory. Our offense on the other hand was too busy sneaking off to the concession stand during the Pirates' offensive drives to throw back a couple of 20 ounce beers of Natural Light at $12 a cup (expensive you say? that's what happens when you don't fill the seats!). Needless to say, they didn't perform very well on the field. This was a moral victory, considering the Pirates are one of the top teams in the league, and we held them to 20 points...
Game 5 Vs. Hartford Hellhounds (4-1) FINAL - LOSS 0-20
Deja Vu! What happened here? I thought we just lost 0-20? This doesn't seem very fair. Our defense gives, yet again, another strong performance against one of the league's better teams and our offense short-changes us, again! Scoring their first touchdown after starting on our 25 yard line (thanks again offense!) the Hellhounds jumped out to an early lead, but after a series of missed field goals and failed drives, the Hounds didn't quite get the victory they were looking for. Just think if we could have scored...something! A safety...a field goal...anything! It could have been a much closer game. Oh well...better luck next week...oh wait...we take on the 4-1 Wizards...FANTASTIC!
Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is, yeah, sure, go ahead. Laugh at us. Point out our weaknesses, throw us to the bottom of the power rankings, rag on our passing game and our 90+ passing attempts in week 4 (which, by the way, was NOT my doing...I am the Defensive coordinator after all). Keep up the remarks about how we may not score another touchdown on the year, or how we can't recruit or how we...the list goes on and on...and you know what? We don't care. Because we know we won't be there for much longer. The bottom spot in the league is not reserved for us. Eventually our offense will catch up to our defense, eventually we'll start putting points on the board, and eventually...we might just sneak in a win or two when no one's looking! So laugh at us if you will, we'll laugh right along with you, because we're in it for the long hall. We will finish with our heads held high and our pride and dignity still intact, and when it's all said and done...I hope I can sit back and say..."what a turnaround we had this season. Bravo team. Bravo indeed. Give yourself one giant golf clap of an applause. You deserve it!"
(And by no means am I predicting a victory over the Wizards this next week...BUT MIAMI...yeah...you guys better watch yourselves when you step into Death Valley Stadium on Wednesday! Our first victory is right around the corner!.....we just don't know exactly how long it's going to take to actually round that corner...)
And that's my rant on the recent failures of the team you know of, as the Grand Haven Mist. I'm done for the night. Time for us to figure out how to play offense!!!
In a perfect world, the Grand Haven Mist would go undefeated.
This is by no means, a perfect world...
In the words of the infamous Farmer Fran, “We lib ta pay anodder day.” Or better said by one of the few Grand Haven Mist players, who somehow managed to avoid the onslaught brought upon our offense today by the Hellhounds' dominant defense, “We live to play another day.”
Yes...we lost. Yes...it hurts. And yes, for those of you counting, that now puts our losing streak at 5 straight games! (At least we're consistent). But before our players go off and demand a trade for a “championship caliber team,” I would hope that they hear me out, because even though we have struggled since we first jumped out of the gate...I still have faith.
Game by game…or loss by loss, however you want to look at it, glass half empty or glass shattered on the floor...I give to you, our struggles thus far.
Game 1 @ Waco Davidians (5-0) – FINAL – Loss: 65-0
I won’t even begin to tackle this one, because, well…I wasn’t on the team at the time. And considering I am currently the defensive coordinator, I’m not going to go into something I wasn’t a part of. In short, Waco is 5-0, and has defeated three of the better teams in the league. We are definitely NOT one of the three better teams in the league, no surprise there, so yeah...65-0 seems about right when you are over matched in every single aspect of the game. Except maybe taking a loss in stride. I’m guessing we were pretty good sports about that. I challenge the Waco Davidians to handle a 65-0 loss the way our sobbing players did!
Game 2 Vs. Chicago Clams (1-4) – FINAL – Loss: 7-9
Ah yes! Our home opener! Fans from all across the metropolis of Grand Haven Michigan squeezed their way through the rusty turnstile gates of Death Valley Stadium and headed to their uncomfortable paint-peeled seats only to witness a game that will surely go down in history as the most embarrassing loss on the season by any team in the USA #7 West! Now, once again, I take no credit on this loss, as this was my first game with my lone Level 1 quarterback (who I am proud to say rode the bench like a champion, bless his heart). Holding a team without a touchdown is impressive. Many teams in this league can boast about it for multiple weeks at a time. We succeeded in this aspect of the game and it seemed we would have our first victory of the season behind the play of a solid defensive effort. But then those suspicious dark clouds hovering over the north end zone suddenly parted, and God himself appeared, lifting the football off the toe of the Clams' nervous little soccer-style kicker, sending it straight through the uprights to leave our team in the shadow of a 9-7 loss to the worst team in the league(Or...are WE the worst team in the league?...we did lose to a team that failed score a touchdown on us....hmmm).
Game 3 @ New Brunswick n00bs(3-2) – FINAL – Loss: 3-20
Fresh off a humiliating loss, it was time to turn things around. At this point our general manager had established an offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator…I was lucky enough to be given the later of the two (considering we have yet to score another touchdown from here out). In a game that seemed at least someone feasible to win, we prepared our strategies and made sure every player on the team had a good night’s sleep, whether that meant leaving the closet light on for out team captain or singing a soft lullaby to our 6’-2’’ 300 pound offensive tackle. Unfortunately, during the weak of practice, the thought of putting points on the board COMPLETELY slipped our minds as we forgot to run any plays that resulted in a march past the goal line (Foolish coaches, tisk, tisk)! The coaches, of course, took the blame for this and apologized to the Mists' many, supporting fans. Unfortunately, this game left our fans watching the play by play updates online (for some reason an 0-3 football team that can't score a touchdown can't even make it on the VS. Network, psh.) and quickly turned fans who originally shouted out frantic cheers of "Go! Mist! Go!" into angry ticket holders who now held signs that read "Can we score a TD? Nope! MIST BUSTED!"
Game 4 Vs. Denver Pirates (4-1) FINAL - LOSS: 0-20
And here we are. My second contest where I was able to instigate my own defense scheme into the game. And though we lost, when you look at the score, can you blame me? Well, sure you can...we gave up 20 points! We should have given up zero if we wanted to win this game, obviously! But, realistically, we held a potent Denver offense to just 292 total net yards and forced the Pirates to punt 20 times. Thats a pretty impressive performance if I do say so myself, coming from a team that has yet to earn its first victory. Our offense on the other hand was too busy sneaking off to the concession stand during the Pirates' offensive drives to throw back a couple of 20 ounce beers of Natural Light at $12 a cup (expensive you say? that's what happens when you don't fill the seats!). Needless to say, they didn't perform very well on the field. This was a moral victory, considering the Pirates are one of the top teams in the league, and we held them to 20 points...
Game 5 Vs. Hartford Hellhounds (4-1) FINAL - LOSS 0-20
Deja Vu! What happened here? I thought we just lost 0-20? This doesn't seem very fair. Our defense gives, yet again, another strong performance against one of the league's better teams and our offense short-changes us, again! Scoring their first touchdown after starting on our 25 yard line (thanks again offense!) the Hellhounds jumped out to an early lead, but after a series of missed field goals and failed drives, the Hounds didn't quite get the victory they were looking for. Just think if we could have scored...something! A safety...a field goal...anything! It could have been a much closer game. Oh well...better luck next week...oh wait...we take on the 4-1 Wizards...FANTASTIC!
Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is, yeah, sure, go ahead. Laugh at us. Point out our weaknesses, throw us to the bottom of the power rankings, rag on our passing game and our 90+ passing attempts in week 4 (which, by the way, was NOT my doing...I am the Defensive coordinator after all). Keep up the remarks about how we may not score another touchdown on the year, or how we can't recruit or how we...the list goes on and on...and you know what? We don't care. Because we know we won't be there for much longer. The bottom spot in the league is not reserved for us. Eventually our offense will catch up to our defense, eventually we'll start putting points on the board, and eventually...we might just sneak in a win or two when no one's looking! So laugh at us if you will, we'll laugh right along with you, because we're in it for the long hall. We will finish with our heads held high and our pride and dignity still intact, and when it's all said and done...I hope I can sit back and say..."what a turnaround we had this season. Bravo team. Bravo indeed. Give yourself one giant golf clap of an applause. You deserve it!"
(And by no means am I predicting a victory over the Wizards this next week...BUT MIAMI...yeah...you guys better watch yourselves when you step into Death Valley Stadium on Wednesday! Our first victory is right around the corner!.....we just don't know exactly how long it's going to take to actually round that corner...)
And that's my rant on the recent failures of the team you know of, as the Grand Haven Mist. I'm done for the night. Time for us to figure out how to play offense!!!
Last edited May 13, 2008 18:55:41
