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By. Johnny Knoxville
Associated Press
May 1, 2008 09:30:05 AM EST

Fresh over the 17-16 loss last night against the Miami Canes, the San Marcos Rivermen practiced on the banks of Beautiful San Marcos River today, amidst some heated tempers. When the Rivermen's star Wide Reciever, Jay Faison, was asked about playing time, and his inability to get open for pass patterns, he responded,"This is common sense but, take me off the damn KR/PR I am more valuable on offense not special teams!" Faison caught 1 pass for 12.5 yards and no touchdowns.

When the Coach Wilson and the rest of the staff approached him later in the practice he yelled,"You call your self coaches?! You really do not know how to use your most talented player! Come on! Get on it!". Asked about this Coach Wilson remarked that Jay will be taken off of Special Teams play and replaced by either Glue McPickerson or Duncan McMester.

This is not unusual for the star Wide Reciever. Just last week he asked for a raise saying "I need more money! If you want to keep me around that is...". Management did cave in and send him a fat contract estimated to be around 50,000 dollars in guaranteed money. When asked about why they gave in, General Manager Wilson stated,"He said he needed it for his equipment that isn't covered by his endorsements". Multiple witnesses saw him drive into the practice facility with a new Porsche earlier today, and wonder where that money came from.

Many General Managers that we interviewed for this story refused to comment, however we did have one step up to say anonymously,"That kid is a leech sucking on the heart of the San Marcos Rivermen. No way I would want him on my team. He is basically a mini-Terrell Owens."

San Marcos has sold out all home games for the season and faces the San Vascarba J-Hawks tomorrow night at San Vascarba. The game is slated for a 9 PM EST start.
 


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