Warrior General Games

Vanguards 106
Ewoks -14

I'd like to personally take some time to also call out one Mr. Ralphie B. Ralphie, it's going to be a tough day for you out there bro. Vanguards WR Nappy Headed has been quoted on multiple occasions of of guaranteeing a 2 TD performance. It's nothing personal, it's just what Nappy does. You just happen to line up against him this week.

There is also a rumor floating around the league that the Ewoks have a tradition of cramming gerbils and other small rodents into their asses before the first game. This will give you no advantage Ewoks. Please do not harm the squirrels.

Kevin Kolb=queer
Christopher oliver=moron
Joe DiMascio=deuchbag
Donovan Jones=dickhead
Heyewood Landers=smells like farts
Tre Thunderballz=guy who's mother is in gangbang movies
Name hahaha=I can't say anything bad about this guy. his name makes me think of a funny little bocktoothed asian guy wearing glasses
Big Daddy Wilkerson=child molester
Phatty Boombalatty=penis stroker
Freddy Smalls=Smalls is a nickname not a last name if you catch my drift.
Brickwall Leger=nut licker

Yeah, that's right. Every starting player on your offense. Bring it bitches.

Wow. This should be good...

More like Tana River Esucks

Originally posted by bgdave
Vanguards 106
Ewoks -14

I'd like to personally take some time to also call out one Mr. Ralphie B. Ralphie, it's going to be a tough day for you out there bro. Vanguards WR Nappy Headed has been quoted on multiple occasions of of guaranteeing a 2 TD performance. It's nothing personal, it's just what Nappy does. You just happen to line up against him this week.

There is also a rumor floating around the league that the Ewoks have a tradition of cramming gerbils and other small rodents into their asses before the first game. This will give you no advantage Ewoks. Please do not harm the squirrels.

Kevin Kolb=queer
Christopher oliver=moron
Joe DiMascio=deuchbag
Donovan Jones=dickhead
Heyewood Landers=smells like farts
Tre Thunderballz=guy who's mother is in gangbang movies
Name hahaha=I can't say anything bad about this guy. his name makes me think of a funny little bocktoothed asian guy wearing glasses
Big Daddy Wilkerson=child molester
Phatty Boombalatty=penis stroker
Freddy Smalls=Smalls is a nickname not a last name if you catch my drift.
Brickwall Leger=nut licker

Yeah, that's right. Every starting player on your offense. Bring it bitches.


This almost caused me to laugh, but it didn't....

*facepalm*

...

Some time ago, a noble team of Viridians, the Vanguards, the best and brightest of a grand country, made it to the playoffs only to be bested by a truly incredible and honorable team, the Lizard Lick Lizard Lickers. Humbled by LLLL's brilliant and inspiring play, the Vanguards tipped their hat to a good friend and rival, wishing them luck in their quest for a championship. Exhausted and wearied from a tough but productive season, the Vanguards went home to join with new friends from the disbanded Fanboys and take a good off-season's nap. However, some saw this and decided that such could not be allowed to occur peacefully.

These people were the Ewoks. Sick, dark, twisted creatures, the Ewoks hail from the third moon of Endor, a backward and primitive place. The Ewoks saw that the Vanguards had let their defenses down and so descended on them and challenged the Vanguards to a scrimmage, presenting a friendly front while hiding a malicious intent. The Ewoks, rather than play a good natured game, unleashed not men but beasts, genetically altered abominations, alongside deceptively adorable yet heavily armed bears onto the field, ravaging the unsuspecting Vanguard. The automated systems set up to regulate the game notched it as a win for the treacherous Ewoks. The Ewoks departed, gloating, arrogant, and the Vanguard was left to pull its broken brothers back together to heal from the surprise attack.

It has been many moons since the surprise attack of the Ewoks on the Vanguard, and their crimes against the Viridian people's honor have not been forgotten. The Vanguard have re-armed, pulled together, and patiently watched the performance of the Ewoks. We have borne witness to their tactics, the strengths and weaknesses of their abominations, and the weapons they bring to bear, compensating for each, noting every wrinkle in their strategy and chink in their armor. Their sins against nature shall crumble and fall against our mighty players and the way to the endzone made clear.

For the Lord! For the Coach! For Viridia! It is time the Ewoks were taught their proper place in things.

I can't believe they signed a child molestor

Man you guys won't believe this....I just went and pinched a mean turd in the waining hours of La Siesta Burrito Monday and the scat looks just like the Ewoks logo. It's uncanny.

And while we are at it....Johnny White Jr....this guy isn't fit to jerk Nappy's Johnson much less try and cover him. Oh wait, he's on the bench...he'll never get a chance to. At least he'll save some face. I'll tell ya what Johnny, when Nappy gets his two TD's, I'll let ya give him a jerk if you don't tell any of the backup CB's.

Ewwwwww.......backup SS trash talk.....that's never been done before. I am a pioneer of sorts.


*Awaits someone's avatar to mock*

OBVIOUSLY THAT NIGGA DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT BEING A STRONG SAFETY

I hear the Ewoks make their dirty money selling bad merchandise to poor little children who are then assaulted with horrible penis ("shwarz" as they call it) jokes.

I'm glad you're calling Ralphie out. He's needs a nice challenge to start the season. I'm thinking more like Nappy gets one TD, Ralphie gets an int returned for a TD. I wouldn't call us victims yet. We still use our cheap ass tactics to cheat our way to victory.

Originally posted by tyante
I'm glad you're calling Ralphie out. He's needs a nice challenge to start the season. I'm thinking more like Nappy gets one TD, Ralphie gets an int returned for a TD. I wouldn't call us victims yet. We still use our cheap ass tactics to cheat our way to victory.

Interceptions? NOT ON SCOTT ADAMS WATCH!

You do realize that its douche bag not deuche right?

Originally posted by tyante
I'm glad you're calling Ralphie out. He's needs a nice challenge to start the season. I'm thinking more like Nappy gets one TD, Ralphie gets an int returned for a TD. I wouldn't call us victims yet. We still use our cheap ass tactics to cheat our way to victory.


You guys should focus on Nappy Headed. He's real goooooooooooooooooooooood.

Pay no attention to Iam Theking. He sucks. Don't even cover him.