Part 1 of 2? maybe 3
Child Support was born to a single mother. The only occupation she has known since the age of 17 is how to please a man. Currently she is DickDogDandy's longest continually employed ho, desite being 53 years old. Child Support was an only child and never knew companionship as his mother was always looking for her next mark. Origionally diagnosed as a crack baby, it was later found to be general idiocy and just an ugly appearance to be his only flaws. This was in part caused by the constant poking while in the womb. Child Support learned at a very early age that he would never be given anything and had to fight for what he wanted.
Child Support was destined for football. At the age of 8 he was picked out in the local dodgeball game as the target of choice. Due to lack of brain function rather than skill, he quikcly learned to catch the ball and then run like hell. The local Pop Warner Caoch noticed this and quickly invited Child Support to try out for the team. Child Support had found his calling.
During the first season Child Support learned that his speed was far superior to everyone else on the field. After practice he would routinely race the 12 year olds and beat them by half a block. Child Support became an instant legend in his own mind.
Game 1 of his new career was approaching and Child Support let his team know just how good he thought he was. "Just give me the Damn ball", is what he told his coach. Despite being targeted 20 times that game, Child Support caught none of them. Child Support later recanted on this, "I would run down the field and that idiot always underthrew me. He would run in circles, fixing his helment, taking it off and adjusting it because it was too big, and then throw the thing 3 yards past the line of scrimmage. How can I possibly catch that when im 35 yards downfield? I hated that kid, he was the worst QB I've ever seen." Child Support went on to catch no passes that season and even threatened to retire if things didn't change. His QB, Tom Brady, went on to win multiple Super Bowls in the NFL, and Child Support has never left GLB.
Speed seemed to be the only constant in Child Support's life. From that first season until he was in high school, Child Support never found someone who could throw it as fast as he could run it down. Having never actually caught a ball in a game before his freshman year, many high schools would not give him a chance to play. Child support finally found a school for special needs kids who had a football program, and would give him a chance. Even at this school, he somehow found a way to fall behind. While there he met a few people who would inspire him to the actions he later performed.
Child Support bonded quickly with his new high school QB, Tony Romo, and began to get the catches he felt he deserved. Child Support would finish his freshman year with 3,462 yards on 95 receptions and 64 TD's. That year they went 15-1, only having lost the Special Needs State Championship on a late field goal attempt in which the QB could not catch the ball. This started the first big riff in Child Support's life. "I told that idiot he cost me millions", Child Support said. "How can you not catch a snap? Put the damn ball in the ground and watch, it ain't hard. It's not like its brain science or Rocket Surgery. They should have sent his ass packing back to Bolivian. That dude probably still cant catch a snap. He had to be the second wrost QB I ever played with".
Shortly before his Sophmore year Child Support would find out his on & off girlfriend was pregnant. At 15, Child Support would try out his first and only attempt at fatherhood. "The bitch kept crying, all day, all night, and every other time in betwee. I gave up, left her there & never looked back." Just like that, Child Support gave up fatherhood before the baby was ever born. Child Support never got to play his Sophmore year. During a late night session working for DDD, his baby's mama caught him & they started to fight. "She kept asking for money, telling me I owed her child support. I tod her, bitch please. She wouldn't shut up so I slapped her. She called the cops and I ran." According to the police report Child Support outran the 2 police dogs chasing him and they had to find alternative measures to catch him. They laid out candy next to the police station ad less than 10 minutes later Child Support was in custody. "DO you know who I am? DO you know who I am?!?"
Later recanting on his arrest, "I like Turtles".
Child Support was born to a single mother. The only occupation she has known since the age of 17 is how to please a man. Currently she is DickDogDandy's longest continually employed ho, desite being 53 years old. Child Support was an only child and never knew companionship as his mother was always looking for her next mark. Origionally diagnosed as a crack baby, it was later found to be general idiocy and just an ugly appearance to be his only flaws. This was in part caused by the constant poking while in the womb. Child Support learned at a very early age that he would never be given anything and had to fight for what he wanted.
Child Support was destined for football. At the age of 8 he was picked out in the local dodgeball game as the target of choice. Due to lack of brain function rather than skill, he quikcly learned to catch the ball and then run like hell. The local Pop Warner Caoch noticed this and quickly invited Child Support to try out for the team. Child Support had found his calling.
During the first season Child Support learned that his speed was far superior to everyone else on the field. After practice he would routinely race the 12 year olds and beat them by half a block. Child Support became an instant legend in his own mind.
Game 1 of his new career was approaching and Child Support let his team know just how good he thought he was. "Just give me the Damn ball", is what he told his coach. Despite being targeted 20 times that game, Child Support caught none of them. Child Support later recanted on this, "I would run down the field and that idiot always underthrew me. He would run in circles, fixing his helment, taking it off and adjusting it because it was too big, and then throw the thing 3 yards past the line of scrimmage. How can I possibly catch that when im 35 yards downfield? I hated that kid, he was the worst QB I've ever seen." Child Support went on to catch no passes that season and even threatened to retire if things didn't change. His QB, Tom Brady, went on to win multiple Super Bowls in the NFL, and Child Support has never left GLB.
Speed seemed to be the only constant in Child Support's life. From that first season until he was in high school, Child Support never found someone who could throw it as fast as he could run it down. Having never actually caught a ball in a game before his freshman year, many high schools would not give him a chance to play. Child support finally found a school for special needs kids who had a football program, and would give him a chance. Even at this school, he somehow found a way to fall behind. While there he met a few people who would inspire him to the actions he later performed.
Child Support bonded quickly with his new high school QB, Tony Romo, and began to get the catches he felt he deserved. Child Support would finish his freshman year with 3,462 yards on 95 receptions and 64 TD's. That year they went 15-1, only having lost the Special Needs State Championship on a late field goal attempt in which the QB could not catch the ball. This started the first big riff in Child Support's life. "I told that idiot he cost me millions", Child Support said. "How can you not catch a snap? Put the damn ball in the ground and watch, it ain't hard. It's not like its brain science or Rocket Surgery. They should have sent his ass packing back to Bolivian. That dude probably still cant catch a snap. He had to be the second wrost QB I ever played with".
Shortly before his Sophmore year Child Support would find out his on & off girlfriend was pregnant. At 15, Child Support would try out his first and only attempt at fatherhood. "The bitch kept crying, all day, all night, and every other time in betwee. I gave up, left her there & never looked back." Just like that, Child Support gave up fatherhood before the baby was ever born. Child Support never got to play his Sophmore year. During a late night session working for DDD, his baby's mama caught him & they started to fight. "She kept asking for money, telling me I owed her child support. I tod her, bitch please. She wouldn't shut up so I slapped her. She called the cops and I ran." According to the police report Child Support outran the 2 police dogs chasing him and they had to find alternative measures to catch him. They laid out candy next to the police station ad less than 10 minutes later Child Support was in custody. "DO you know who I am? DO you know who I am?!?"
Later recanting on his arrest, "I like Turtles".
Last edited Oct 17, 2008 10:34:42