First, he represents the Tiburg Lightning in this league. The Moose Knuckles are Canadian... and you know about how the cold affects Moose Knuckles

As to the Lightning, this will be a fun game... for the first quarter and maybe even a little bit of the 2nd. After that, it will start getting boring and repititious as our defense strangles your offense and our offense rides your defense like a Chinese masseuse right before your 'happy ending'... but the happy ending never happens, and you get ridden into a state of blue ball unconsciousness

Oh, how I love to trash talk. It allows me to express my creativity.