In a scandal sure to rock EE A#7, this paper has uncovered a shocking scandal of epic proportions.
Oscar White, standout DT for the Wolverines, apparently had the mistaken impression that the Center for Chernobyl was female, due to his name, and apparently had at him for quite a while before realizing his mistake.
Oscar is not known for being the brightest player on the Wolverines, in fact even his teammates refer to him as "doglike" in mentality, but this surpasses even the lowest expectations of a professional GLB player.
Coach Ozz replied with a terse, "No Comment!", although he wore a slight smirk when giving the unenlightening response.
The always locqacious Eddie Johnson Jr., Linebacker for the Wolverines, and a best friends with Oscar, was willing to give a comment however.
"Sheeeett, Oscar was just doin' what dogs do, if their center dint have a girl name and look like one, dis probably wouldn't have happened. I'll tell you this though, what Oscar did to ol' Julie, ain't nothin' compared to what he gonna do durin' the game today! What wuz dem fools thinkin'? Signin' a 95% female Center, dey shoulda known better! Tell ya somethin' else, betcha Oscar ain't the only GLB player dat hit dat!"
***This is not an official Wolverines team press release, just a player having some fun, Ozz did not sanction this, in fact, he wasn't consulted, lol. Again, all in good fun,
***
Oscar White, standout DT for the Wolverines, apparently had the mistaken impression that the Center for Chernobyl was female, due to his name, and apparently had at him for quite a while before realizing his mistake.
Oscar is not known for being the brightest player on the Wolverines, in fact even his teammates refer to him as "doglike" in mentality, but this surpasses even the lowest expectations of a professional GLB player.
Coach Ozz replied with a terse, "No Comment!", although he wore a slight smirk when giving the unenlightening response.
The always locqacious Eddie Johnson Jr., Linebacker for the Wolverines, and a best friends with Oscar, was willing to give a comment however.
"Sheeeett, Oscar was just doin' what dogs do, if their center dint have a girl name and look like one, dis probably wouldn't have happened. I'll tell you this though, what Oscar did to ol' Julie, ain't nothin' compared to what he gonna do durin' the game today! What wuz dem fools thinkin'? Signin' a 95% female Center, dey shoulda known better! Tell ya somethin' else, betcha Oscar ain't the only GLB player dat hit dat!"
***This is not an official Wolverines team press release, just a player having some fun, Ozz did not sanction this, in fact, he wasn't consulted, lol. Again, all in good fun,
***
