REPORT TO THE COMMISSIONER OF GLB(Bort) OF AN INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATION INTO THE ILLEGAL USE OF STEROIDS AND OTHER
PERFORMANCE ENHANCING SUBSTANCES BY PLAYERS IN GOAL LNE BLITZ
SETH "KENSHAM" FORD JULY 17 2008
I have been looking over the stats this seson compared to the past couple seasons of GLB and have noticed that there may be steroid use in the GLB community. I am under the belief that S.D. Sutherland, Monty Pythongrail, Seemi Dirt, Nicholas long, and Samuel Colt are using these anabolic steroids.
I believe that steroid use shuld be banned in this league. Seemi Dirt (Vancouver) has rushed for 1,057 yards this season a personal high. That is a huge difference between the 374 yards he had last season is it not? I am kind of amazed a player would do that without any use of steroids. Looking into his past games I have noticed that he started out the year getting a lot of yardage per game but slowly declined. This is a trait commonly associated with steroid use because the muscle usually wears out quicker than usual.
S.D. Sutherland the leagues leading passer has had 2,494 yards passing on the season with 23 touchdowns. Now lets look at what he did last season. He had 579.5 yards passing and no touchdowns. Is that not suspicious? I believe we should look closer at this player in the coming seasons.
Monty Pythongrail the leagues leading reciever has 725.5 yards on this past season. That is a very high number for a regular reciever to get and that causes some suspicion. Of course he is the reciever of a suspected steroid using QB but it is still amazing what he has done. There are two reasons that he could be good at catching balls. The first one is that he is using steroids and the second is that he is gay. I wouldnt be surprised if he was gay because he is named after somethin english.
Nicholas long the leagues leading sacker is suspected for steroids as well. He is one of the best defensive players in the league right now but its time to look at these things clearly. It seems that he has the strength and speed of a level 21 defensive end at the low level of 18. Again there are two reasons why he would be good at this hes either on steroids or he is gay. You might ask why I would say he was gay and for that I have a simple answer, He likes to tackle men and his last name is long. Can anyone say Gay Porn Star?
Samuel Colt the OT of the Clavenhouse clan is the leading blocker of the league. With 146 pancakes in the regular season some may says hes one of the best but in my opinion he seems like a steroid user. This is the first season he has played and he is currently the best blocker in the league. Dont you find this suspicious? I do and that is why I will be further investigating him on the use of steroids. Unlike the other two there is no way that he is gay. He just likes to grab onto grown men. Is that gay? No it isnt so come over here and give me a big warm hug.
One of the GM's of Saskatoon Polar Bears, Landry Skins, seems to be having roid rage problems. He seems to think that if he takes steroids his team may make it through the playoffs. I guess he learned the hard way that steroids would not help him out and now he is angry at the straight-edge lifestyles of the Alberta Assassins.
PERFORMANCE ENHANCING SUBSTANCES BY PLAYERS IN GOAL LNE BLITZ
SETH "KENSHAM" FORD JULY 17 2008
I have been looking over the stats this seson compared to the past couple seasons of GLB and have noticed that there may be steroid use in the GLB community. I am under the belief that S.D. Sutherland, Monty Pythongrail, Seemi Dirt, Nicholas long, and Samuel Colt are using these anabolic steroids.
I believe that steroid use shuld be banned in this league. Seemi Dirt (Vancouver) has rushed for 1,057 yards this season a personal high. That is a huge difference between the 374 yards he had last season is it not? I am kind of amazed a player would do that without any use of steroids. Looking into his past games I have noticed that he started out the year getting a lot of yardage per game but slowly declined. This is a trait commonly associated with steroid use because the muscle usually wears out quicker than usual.
S.D. Sutherland the leagues leading passer has had 2,494 yards passing on the season with 23 touchdowns. Now lets look at what he did last season. He had 579.5 yards passing and no touchdowns. Is that not suspicious? I believe we should look closer at this player in the coming seasons.
Monty Pythongrail the leagues leading reciever has 725.5 yards on this past season. That is a very high number for a regular reciever to get and that causes some suspicion. Of course he is the reciever of a suspected steroid using QB but it is still amazing what he has done. There are two reasons that he could be good at catching balls. The first one is that he is using steroids and the second is that he is gay. I wouldnt be surprised if he was gay because he is named after somethin english.
Nicholas long the leagues leading sacker is suspected for steroids as well. He is one of the best defensive players in the league right now but its time to look at these things clearly. It seems that he has the strength and speed of a level 21 defensive end at the low level of 18. Again there are two reasons why he would be good at this hes either on steroids or he is gay. You might ask why I would say he was gay and for that I have a simple answer, He likes to tackle men and his last name is long. Can anyone say Gay Porn Star?
Samuel Colt the OT of the Clavenhouse clan is the leading blocker of the league. With 146 pancakes in the regular season some may says hes one of the best but in my opinion he seems like a steroid user. This is the first season he has played and he is currently the best blocker in the league. Dont you find this suspicious? I do and that is why I will be further investigating him on the use of steroids. Unlike the other two there is no way that he is gay. He just likes to grab onto grown men. Is that gay? No it isnt so come over here and give me a big warm hug.
One of the GM's of Saskatoon Polar Bears, Landry Skins, seems to be having roid rage problems. He seems to think that if he takes steroids his team may make it through the playoffs. I guess he learned the hard way that steroids would not help him out and now he is angry at the straight-edge lifestyles of the Alberta Assassins.
Last edited Jul 17, 2008 14:48:03
