Warrior General Games

My Super Star DE with power and speed and one of the fastest Super Star Middle LBs with some cover skillz (run support and coverage, not a blitzer) are on the ONLY CPU team in the league. Can we get that fixed?

Anyway, the league hits season 64 running as some true power hitters join the fray against the dedicated Mummified monsters of the midway!

Mommy Teams
Alpha Division
1 LSU Tigers 11-3-0, 21-9-0 overall record. Won the Comet league in season 59 then were the #1 Ladder team in Season 60. Team owner Cybertron has made it a mission to win with a full coaching staff led by General Manager C@bra Kai and Head Coach Missile Command. TE David Lafleur, WRs Jamar Chase & Odell Beckham Jr. lead the humble aerial attack while S* HB Leonard Fournette headlines a punishing ground game.

2 Day Shift Strippers 9-5-0, 20-10-0 overall. Team Owner C.Gadbois and General Manager Smachrock have assembled a S* studded team on Offense which includes S* League OMVP challenger HB Rictor Logan. With a full coaching staff and 8 S* starting players on offense, and another 3 (2 of them being SS players) on D, they expect to make waves this season.

3 New York Thrashers 5-9-0, 9-21-0 overall. After a disappointing season Owner Hzachary1 chose to reload with the same roster rather than rebuild. All players have been given the full support of the Ownership as he opens his wallet for high level Salaries, even to the CPU henchmen!

4 New Orleans Lizards CPU 0-0-0, 0-0-0. Do I really have to? seriously they're CPU fodder and only got their two S* defensive players because their agent refused to retire them... Whatever.

Beta Division
1 Southside Rebels 13-1-0, 25-5-0 overall. Owner dredgar, G.M. Xars, A. GM OrigJoker are names that strike terror in the hearts of leaguers for seasons. But they lost the 'ship last season and haven't won it all since season 56 despite the league OMVP S* HB Omni King 4.0. They have also reloaded rather than rebuilt and have 5 S* players on BOTH Offense and Defense. Efficient roster slim-lined with little wiggle room. But the team Chemistry they hope will make the difference.

2 Columbus Rabid Lizards 6-8-0, 17-13-0 overall. Owner rabidlizard24 has brought another star studded coaching staff. General Manager, atlbruce, Assistant GM agerm73, Head Coach Kvothe27, along with Off. Coordinator ellix and Def. Coordinator Raid hope to change the team fortunes from last season. Rebuilding with four new S* players, 3 on Offense and one on the D. Other changes insure no CPU scrubs see the turf for those cold-blooded psychos of BETA.

3 Plainville Explosion 4-10-0, 15-15-0 overall. TEAM OWNER stephalicious wisely sought help in his coaching staff with veterans General Manager Bretto007, Assistant GM Raid, and Head Coach Adderfist. They are not naive rookies which gave the EXPLOSION! a successful ladder ( non-league) record. Adding a S* Guard and being able to resign their original S* powder kegs they are headed in the right direction... But not all is guns and roses. They have expiring contracts and 9 CPU bums to deal with.

4 Aikahi Tigers 0-14-0, 0-30-0 overall. Oh how the mighty have fallen. The once 9 time GLB2 Season Champions last won a 'ship in season 55 and were 5th place ladder in season 56. Owner Digital Daggers runs the show but seems to be writing it in as the team has numerous expiring contracts and even the cpu fill-ins are still at 0% team chemistry. Just like a rookie team owner's mistake...

Gamma Division
1 Church of the Holy Zone 12-2-0, 26-4-0 overall. THE team to beat. Defending Season 63 Champions. Winners of 2 of the last three season's 'ships. Two of the top 6 players from last season. Superstars QB Nice Agerm's QB rating of 127.8 leads all QBs and HB Angry Xars supporting 5.6 y/carry and 172.1 y/gm has put this team at the pinnacle. Team Owner Ghanima has given a maverick administrative staff and veteran coaching staff all that they wanted, and it's paid off. As you would expect they have resigned every player to go for the repeat.

2 Grape Apes House of Slombo 9-5-0, 22-8-0 overall. Again Owner rabidlizard24 has made his shot at the 'Ship and this one is/was far more successful. With the league OMVP 2nd place S* Power HB and a running game that would even make Tennessee Titans or Raiders blush.

3 The Program 8-6-0, 20-10-0 overall. Owner agerm73 is a respected HC and has been on the radar of many other Owners. Because of this he has assembled a very solid coaching staff of veterans. Only worry is Agent RedSpawn is AWOL with a WR and CB in tow.

4 Blue Knights, 4-10-0, 9-21-0 overall. ThePh33P's Blue Knights are walking into a furnace. I hope they can weather the storm but they struggled last season going 4-10 in league and now they not only see a number of that leagues more successful teams in here but they're in the defending champ's division!

nothing about our all superstar defense? i feel personally attacked

Originally posted by im317
nothing about our all superstar defense? i feel personally attacked

I wanted to mostly considered positives for the team... But if you want to hear an attack, here it goes.

Grape Apes are a team that has honed the cap limit to razor sharpness and thinness. While the Defense is ALMOST entirely made of S* players it does have 1 DT CPU who'll never see the light of day on the field, maybe, since they carry FOUR DTs. So other than DT no back up players period. only carry two LBs so formations are limited and therefore predictable. Only have two CBs, two FSs, and no Strong Safeties. This means the second FS must play out of position and again natural formations are restricted. If these players ever get winded in tough, close, grind it out games... well, better luck next time. Sure they can play any formation they want but players would be out of natural positions and take performance hits along with fatigue and play knowledge hits.

yeah but all our players are triple platinum for every 5-2-4 formation play

Originally posted by im317
yeah but all our players are triple platinum for every 5-2-4 formation play

>snap< Tru dat homie!

Biff Barf Here! Soaking up all the news and barfing it back at you! WTF!? That's right, World Trade Federation! We have a CPU Leader in Alpha, the other lizard team looking like leaders in Beta and true GotW occurrence in Gamma! Want to learn more? READ ON! (but more likely just click the games in league page. I'm not going to write a book here...)

Mummified Copa Mundial* Teams
Alpha Division
1 New Orleans Lizards CPU 1-0-0
2 LSU Tigers 1-0-0
3 Day Shift Strippers 0-1-0
4 New York Thrashers 0-1-0
New York Thrashers get uh, thrashed, by the LSU Tigers 26-72. Seriously who comes up with these, the Associated Press?
New Orleans Lizards leave no tip for the Day Shift Strippers as they get the upset win, 20-9. My LB is even the leading DMVP vote getter, but does anyone offer a contract!?

Beta Division
1 Southside Rebels 1-0-0
2 Columbus Rabid Lizards 1-0-0
3 Plainville Explosion 0-1-0
4 Aikahi Tigers 0-1-0
Southside Rebels tragically trounce the tripping Aikahi Tigers, 76-0.
Columbus Rabid Lizards smother the Plainville Explosion, 27-9.

Gamma Division
1 Grape Apes House of Slombo 1-0-0
2 The Program 1-0-0
3 Church of the Holy Zone 0-1-0
4 Blue Knights 0-1-0
Blue Knights! The Program! 38-41! Need we say more? YES! Will we? ...
Church of the Holy Zone find themselves in a house of horrors, at home, as Grape Apes House of Slombo win, 14-31.

* In case you were wondering, Copa Mundial is Spanish for World Cup (Copa= Cup, Mundial= of World. Spanish transposes nouns and descriptive words when compared to English)... whatever.

Biff Barf here! I'm soaking up all the news and barfing it back at you! So it's all come down to this! Two Games to see which teams get a shot at being the two teams to get the chance to win the coveted no-prize and the right to be called Kings of the "Pharaoh lay-away Plan" League too!
Will pretty much just talk play-offs here, what!? Playoffs!? We're talking PLAYOFFS?! ///
Yes.
Let's get straight to the action!

Alpha Division
1 LSU Tigers 8-4-0
2 Day Shift Strippers 6-6-0
3 New York Thrashers 4-8-0
4 New Orleans Lizards CPU 2-10-0
Here in Alpha, there is only one team that'll come out alive. The Alpha predators, LSU Tigers, and their 8 wins.
Coming off a shellacking of the runner-up Strippers the Tigers are the odds on favorites to beat the Thrashers and can already write in the W over the lone CPU team N.O. Lizards. They will take on the Winner of Gamma Division most likely...
There are no Wild-card hopes in this here.

Beta Division
1 Southside Rebels 11-1-0
2 Plainville Explosion 7-5-0-
3 Columbus Rabid Lizards 6-6-0
4 Aikahi Tigers 0-12-0
The Rebels have found that their assault on the Division title was not a trap! They will walk away with this one even if there is the off chance they back in. Beta's version of Tigers proved to be made out of toilet paper and Columbus lost their only chance for Wild-card asperations when they lost to the Rebels.
As for the Plainville Explosion? After, or is that just before? During the aerial photographs of Sofia Vergara's half time show, https://youtu.be/PlesfddljMs , sponsored by Megumin, https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/990/241/9c6.jpg ... Anyway, they have an outside chance to get in a tie for the wild-card record IF... Well, we'll discuss it more in the Gamma notes.

Gamma Division
1 The Program 9-3-0*
2 Church of the Holy Zone 9-3-0-
3 Grape Apes House of Slombo 7-5-0-
4 Blue Knights 3-9-0
Gamma is where things get really convoluted. First there is no clinch in the Divisional sphincter but the Blue K'nigits, er I mean Knights, have definitely won last place and are out.
The Program have the inside track after narrowly edging Grape Apes House of Slombo for a 27-31 win. They can be called favorites to beat the Knights and at worse end up in a tie with the Church records wise. This means they are guaranteed a playoff spot but who they play is still in the air.
With those two out of the way, Grape Apes House of Slombo, like the Plainville Explosion, are on the outside looking in with slim(mer) chances to have a three way ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) with Plainville and House of Slombo and then tie-breakers would ensue.
The key in the Wild Card mash-up is the Church of the Holy Zone since they COULD win the division if they win out the next two or they could find themselves in that three way if they lay a turd in the next two, or if they go one and one they win the Wild Card at least and tie for the division lead at best... My head hurts.

Biff Barf here! Soaking up all the news and barfing it back at you! Welcome to Update Central! I'm your host, Biff, um Barf... soak, oh what the bloody 'eck! Didn't I just... Whatever.

OK so in Alpha nothing changed other than the Tigers changing the Lizard's motor oil. Man that was one embarrassing game.

Meanwhile in Beta the the Explosion imploded as Columbus were a day late but not a dollar short.

OK, so it all comes down to Gamma. The Church of the "Holy crap what just hit us!" got decked by The Program giving Grape Apes false hope they can tie for the wild card. It'll be the Purple Primates turn to get their monkey choked by The Program next time while The Church goes to convert the Blue Knights into Black, and blue Knights.