Warrior General Games

CLINCHED
We're 11 games into league play and we have our first division champion clinched, the Universal Monsters!

The Monsters came out on top of a grueling defensive battle against Calgary today. They won the game 7-0 and were very successful shutting down the running game. A major contributor was SS Count Dracula, who had 13 tackles and 2 FF.

While the Monsters' offense has struggled, their defense has kept them winning game after game. They won't be the favorite to win the championship, but we will see the Monsters in the postseason.

EXPLOSIVE
A team that hasn't struggled offensively, is Team Italy. The Italians' #1 ranked offense flexed their muscles once again today in a 90-0 slaughter over the Rollers.

Favorite to win the offensive MVP, Bartolo Bizzarro, threw for 12 TD passes and 720 yards.

Amalio Bizzarro was the biggest contributor receiving the ball. He reeled in 5 TDs and 202 yards on 10 receptions.

Team Italy is 1 win away from clinching the division and a spot in the postseason.

STAYING ON TOP
The Dolphins are keeping pace to finish 1st place in the league. They continued their dominant season today with yet another shutout victory over the Demons 23-0. The Dolphins have 8 shutouts in league games this season.

If these trends continue, the Dolphins will have homefield advantage throughout the playoffs. That could lead to a rematch versus their only loss of the season, Team Italy, for the title. I don't think fans would complain if they got to see the #1 offense square off against the #1 defense in the championship.

After the Italians 23-3 win in Miami earlier in the season, unfriendly words were exchanged between executives of both teams. It would be a heated championship bout to say the least, but both teams are taking it one game at a time.

SLUMP...
The Stampeders are in an offensive rut lately and it may be due to the predictability of the scheme. Calgary hasn't attempted a pass all season. Earlier in the year, the ground and pound tactic was reaping havoc on opposing defenses. However, in Calgary's last 2 league games they've only mustered up 7 points total.

In their game today, the Monsters kept them to under 3 yards a carry. Despite a great defensive performance, they dropped the game 7-0.


Calgary still sits in good position to secure a wildcard spot, but that would square them off against the Dolphins #1 ranked defense in round 1 of the playoffs.

Until next time, I'm Dino Bizzarro and this has been GLB2 News.

Biff Barf here with your sports extra! I suck up all the news and Barf it back at ya!
In other news, the Death Valley Deadites appear to still be life challenged as they drop yet another rookie contest. Death Valley Deadites' loss to the Las Vegas Bulls, 10-21, marks the Bulls' return to the wild card hunt. While it maybe an outside chance it at least put them on the bubble as they are two games back of the losing Calgary Stampeders. With Divisional games now looming large Santa Fe Hawks, one game back of Calgary, kept a game ahead of the bubble and gained ground by winning and the L.A. Rollers fell into a tie with the Bulls.

With all that said, on May 2nd the Miami Dolphins should lock up the Alpha Division and Team Italy should have the Gamma pennant by Apr 29th.
As for those pesky Deadites? They'll get to square off next against divisional rival Boston for inside tract to win second in Beta Division despite only Universal having a winning record. No wild cards will be harmed in the making of this match-up...

Originally posted by RealQuadL
Biff Barf here with your sports extra! I suck up all the news and Barf it back at ya!
In other news, the Death Valley Deadites appear to still be life challenged as they drop yet another rookie contest. Death Valley Deadites' loss to the Las Vegas Bulls, 10-21, marks the Bulls' return to the wild card hunt. While it maybe an outside chance it at least put them on the bubble as they are two games back of the losing Calgary Stampeders. With Divisional games now looming large Santa Fe Hawks, one game back of Calgary, kept a game ahead of the bubble and gained ground by winning and the L.A. Rollers fell into a tie with the Bulls.

With all that said, on May 2nd the Miami Dolphins should lock up the Alpha Division and Team Italy should have the Gamma pennant by Apr 29th.
As for those pesky Deadites? They'll get to square off next against divisional rival Boston for inside tract to win second in Beta Division despite only Universal having a winning record. No wild cards will be harmed in the making of this match-up...

Dont we get the 1st pick in season 40 draft if we come in last

Originally posted by rch3
Dont we get the 1st pick in season 40 draft if we come in last

In an odd twist the Owner of the, now dead for the season, Death Valley Deadites was quoted as inquiring. Your intrepid reporter Biff Barf here, soaking up all the news and barfing it back at you, dug DEEP into league records keeper Holly Would, Um, I mean I uh, well, you know, and um, yeah this came up... No, not that, this. Since this is season 38 and not 39 Death Valley is out back for the draft unless they purposely tank again... which I doubt highly they will do twice. Not that they did this time, nor would next time, though they could, but won't, probably, right?! Anyway no games for you! (today)

WE KNOW WHO WILL BE IN THE PLAYOFFS

The Dolphins, Team Italy, and the Stampeders all clinched playoff spots in week 12. The Universal Monsters clinched week 11 and those 4 teams will round out the playoff picture.

As of right now the #1 seed would be the Dolphins and they would play the Stampeders (wildcard) round 1.

The other matchup would be between the other 2 division champs, the Monsters (#3) and Team Italy (#2).

Let's take a deeper look at all 4 playoff teams.

#1 Miami Dolphins

Record: 11-1
Top performers: QB Dan Marino 3405 pass yards, 19 pass TDs.
Derrick Rodgers 12 sacks, 3 FF.

Miami obviously has been dominant all season long. They're led by veteran management with names like Vipermaw82, jay529, and dredgar leading the way.

Their 1 loss came against the #2 seed Team Italy in the middle of the season. Other than that blemish, Miami has been clinical on both sides of the ball. They're ranked #2 in total offense and #1 in total defense. They've forced 30 turnovers and have allowed the least points in the league.

Through the air, the Dolphins highlight their S* TE Keith Jackson. Jackson has 700 yards and 6 TDs this season. They've stayed balanced though with a steady rushing attack led by Ronnie Brown.

Balanced on both offense and defense, the Dolphins are pros.

#2 Team Italy
Record: 10-2
Top performers: QB Bartolo Bizzarro 5150 pass yards, 54 pass TDs.
LB Alexis Bizzarro 44.5 sacks.

Team Italy is led by owner Dino Bizzarro, who has only been playing GLB2 for 2 seasons. The Italians lost 2 of their first 3 league games this season. They haven't lost since. Those 2 losses were against CPU teams and that was before Bizzarro found his team's identity.

What is that identity? Offensively, it's an air raid.

QB Bartolo's stats speak for themselves. He's the captain of this #1 ranked offense that so few teams have been able to contain. In their last 9 league games, they've scored an average of 47.7 points a game.

Defensively, it's a zone blitz scheme. Their 2 best OLBs have accounted for a whopping 86 sacks this season. With how well the offense has done, the defense has been overlooked by some. The Italian defense has allowed the 2nd fewest points in the league.

#3 Universal Monsters
Record: 9-3
Top performers: WR The Man Who Laughs 739 rec yards, 5 rec TDs.
SS Count Dracula 5 FF, 3 INTs, 10 TFL.

The Monsters are owned by WithoutYourHead and managed by Cjhwolf. Both users are relatively new to the game, but succeeding early on.

Relying on a stout defense, the Monsters have rushed ahead to a division title and a 9-3 record. The defense has carried the offense, but it has carried it well so far.

In their 3 losses, 2 were against the top 2 teams in the league (Miami and Italy.)

Their weak division is a big reason why they're heading to the post season so easily, but they did have a late season victory over Calgary recently.

#4 Calgary Stampeders
Record: 8-4
Top performers: QB #1 885 rush yards, 10 rush TDs.
LB #54 54 sacks, 10 FF.

Do they throw!?

Apparently, yes. In their latest ladder match against the Slaughter Bay Slashers, QB #1 threw his first pass of the season... In fact, he threw the ball 59 times! On his 19 completions, he accumulated 318 yards.

While, the Stampeders still fell to the Slashers, this could be a promising sign for Calgary's offense. More balance will make it harder for playoff opponents to game plan. At the very least, they've created some worry among their division rival and future playoff foe, the Miami Dolphins.

The Dolphins will travel to Calgary to take on their #1 rushing attack. Will they have to prepare for some sneaky play action plays from the Stampeders? Or will Calgary save that for the playoffs? Stay tuned to find out.

For GLB2 News, I'm Dino Bizzarro. Goodnight.

Bizzarro and Bliff Barf make a great combo!

Biff Barf Back at you with the latest sports news! I soak it all up and barf it back at'cha!

Chocolate League

Alpha Division
1 Miami Dolphins 13-1-0 Winner winner, chicken dinner! Not only did they win arguably the toughest division in Chocolate, mmm chocolate... ahem, League they also won Home field throughout the play-offs. They are riding a three game winning streak (5 games if you only count league matches) going into the first round.
2 Calgary Stampeders 9-5-0 Back into the play-offs as the wild card. Lost the final game of league to rival Dolphins though they had won 4 of the previous 5 games prior to that stumble.
3 Los Angeles Rollers CPU 6-8-0 Ended on a positive by beating the Spermies.
4 Ecum Secum Sperm Whales 3-10-1 Got beat and went all limp in the end, of the season.

Beta Division
1 Universal Monsters 10-4-0 Winners of 8 of their last nine with a surprise loss to the Death Valley "not so" Deadites. Win Beta and a date with Team Italy.
2 Death Valley Deadites 6-7-1 Came on strong at end of season to surprisingly claim the 5th best record in league by a half game. Juuuust missed the play-offs by two and a half games and a cloud of dust. Still, for a team all but written off by mid-season they got lucky like the dead.
3 Boston Cobras CPU 3-10-1
4 Tampa Demons CPU 3-11-0

Gamma Division
1 Team Italy 12-2-0 For a team that lost 5 of it's first 8 games, two of those being league match-ups, these spaghetti whippers have the best shot to upset the Dolphins. They will host the Beta division's best.
2 Las Vegas Bulls CPU 6-8-0 ended season on a sour note.
3 Santa Fe Hawks CPU 6-8-0 tanked at the worst possible time.
4 Baltimore Dinosaurs 5-8-1