What is the state of the Eris League?
Let's start with a few awards this week:
The Rains of Castamere Award goes to the Charlestown Chiefs with their stunning upset over the Winterfell Direwolves. No word yet if the Chiefs' owner paraded around with a severed wolf head after the victory.
The Cholera Award goes to the Versailles Tigers. Not only did Jon Huntsman make an accurate reference to the SoHo cholera epidemic in his posts last week (referring to that other famous John Snow), but the Versailles Tigers are now 5-3 and roaring up the leader board of the Gamma Division like a flagellum through raw sewage.
One Michelin Star goes to Ntembo for their excellent bánh bao with cassava, which the Michelin Guide lauded as the perfect blend of West Africa and East Asia. It's too bad that Ntembo's amazing cuisine does not come with a good quarterback.
A few shout outs to:
Jon Huntsman's mother - LaVernius Sassoon, defensive end for the Vase Breakers, tells me that Jon Huntsman's mother's "reverse pancake" was the best he's ever experienced.
Xavori - Defensive Coordinator for the Vase Breakers, whose megalomania was finally recognized this week in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as paradigmatic of the condition. We're happy that Xavori has finally been recognized!
To all of you - who gave me MoJo or props last week. Thank you so much, it meant a lot. And you can only blame yourself for me trying again this week.
So let's look forward to the games next "week":
It was hard to pick a single game of the week next week so I chickened out and chose two:
First up is the Direwolves against the Lincoln City Red Imps. These are two teams that came off particularly harsh losses last week. The Lincoln City Red Imps finally found an offense, but in doing so lost their defense. Let's hope that Lincoln City defense left a trail of bread crumbs behind them because they are likely to be eaten by the Direwolves if they are not careful. Despite the Direwolves' loss last week, the Wolves still have the highest ladder rank in the Eris League and the leading offensive and defensive MVP candidates. This top talent team has a chip on their shoulder as they try to prove that they are more Ned Stark than Sansa Stark. Wait…I mean more Rob Stark than Sansa Stark…I mean … oh f**** it.
The second interesting match up is between Ntembo and the Charlestown Chiefs. Both teams are seeking to prove their continued relevance but are heading in opposite directions. Ntembo wants to prove it is still a contender after its loss to the Vase Breakers and the Chiefs are trying to solidify their hold on a playoff spot after their win against the Direwolves. Will this be a trap game for the Chiefs? And what happens when you get a Ntembo in a trap? Nothing pleasant I'd imagine.
All the rest:
First, a moment of silence for the Fresno Poison's season.
The Versailles Tigers, led by the inimitable Jon Huntsman, are putting a (not so) quiet winning record together against teams with, well, losing records. Maybe the Versailles Tigers are starting a scouting operation with all of their other fellow Tigers. Is the Eris League's version of 'Spy Gate'? Is Jon Huntsman, Bill Belichick? Or are his wins like those his in the US 2012 Republican presidential primary over the likes of Herman Cain and Michelle Bachmann? Oh wait, Jon Huntsman didn't beat anyone in the Republican presidential primary. . .
The Versailles Tigers take on the Columbus Indians this week. The Indians just released their new mascot, which has drawn significant controversy. People told the owners of the Indians that using Mahatma Gandhi as their mascot would enrage Indians, but Columbus said that Gandhi was a significant part of their history and tradition of their ten week old franchise and that it was staying. The Eris League update will refer to the Columbus Indians as Columbus in the column from now on.
The Vase Breakers take on the we-promise-we-are-different Lakewood Tigers in their match up this week. The Vase Breakers are shocked that they even have a winning record at this point in the season, as their receivers can hold onto fewer balls than Jon Huntsman's mother. Their team owner has assured us though that he will spend thousands of flex points running scrimmages to see if his pet half back can move from 3.1 yards per carry to 3.3 yards per carry. We're all rooting for him.
I wish I had something funny to say about the Lakewood Tigers. I don't.
Those are they key match ups this week. Who knows what will happen! One thing we can be sure about, however, is that Jon Huntsman's mother leads the league in guys she's "sticked."
Let's start with a few awards this week:
The Rains of Castamere Award goes to the Charlestown Chiefs with their stunning upset over the Winterfell Direwolves. No word yet if the Chiefs' owner paraded around with a severed wolf head after the victory.
The Cholera Award goes to the Versailles Tigers. Not only did Jon Huntsman make an accurate reference to the SoHo cholera epidemic in his posts last week (referring to that other famous John Snow), but the Versailles Tigers are now 5-3 and roaring up the leader board of the Gamma Division like a flagellum through raw sewage.
One Michelin Star goes to Ntembo for their excellent bánh bao with cassava, which the Michelin Guide lauded as the perfect blend of West Africa and East Asia. It's too bad that Ntembo's amazing cuisine does not come with a good quarterback.
A few shout outs to:
Jon Huntsman's mother - LaVernius Sassoon, defensive end for the Vase Breakers, tells me that Jon Huntsman's mother's "reverse pancake" was the best he's ever experienced.
Xavori - Defensive Coordinator for the Vase Breakers, whose megalomania was finally recognized this week in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as paradigmatic of the condition. We're happy that Xavori has finally been recognized!
To all of you - who gave me MoJo or props last week. Thank you so much, it meant a lot. And you can only blame yourself for me trying again this week.
So let's look forward to the games next "week":
It was hard to pick a single game of the week next week so I chickened out and chose two:
First up is the Direwolves against the Lincoln City Red Imps. These are two teams that came off particularly harsh losses last week. The Lincoln City Red Imps finally found an offense, but in doing so lost their defense. Let's hope that Lincoln City defense left a trail of bread crumbs behind them because they are likely to be eaten by the Direwolves if they are not careful. Despite the Direwolves' loss last week, the Wolves still have the highest ladder rank in the Eris League and the leading offensive and defensive MVP candidates. This top talent team has a chip on their shoulder as they try to prove that they are more Ned Stark than Sansa Stark. Wait…I mean more Rob Stark than Sansa Stark…I mean … oh f**** it.
The second interesting match up is between Ntembo and the Charlestown Chiefs. Both teams are seeking to prove their continued relevance but are heading in opposite directions. Ntembo wants to prove it is still a contender after its loss to the Vase Breakers and the Chiefs are trying to solidify their hold on a playoff spot after their win against the Direwolves. Will this be a trap game for the Chiefs? And what happens when you get a Ntembo in a trap? Nothing pleasant I'd imagine.
All the rest:
First, a moment of silence for the Fresno Poison's season.
The Versailles Tigers, led by the inimitable Jon Huntsman, are putting a (not so) quiet winning record together against teams with, well, losing records. Maybe the Versailles Tigers are starting a scouting operation with all of their other fellow Tigers. Is the Eris League's version of 'Spy Gate'? Is Jon Huntsman, Bill Belichick? Or are his wins like those his in the US 2012 Republican presidential primary over the likes of Herman Cain and Michelle Bachmann? Oh wait, Jon Huntsman didn't beat anyone in the Republican presidential primary. . .
The Versailles Tigers take on the Columbus Indians this week. The Indians just released their new mascot, which has drawn significant controversy. People told the owners of the Indians that using Mahatma Gandhi as their mascot would enrage Indians, but Columbus said that Gandhi was a significant part of their history and tradition of their ten week old franchise and that it was staying. The Eris League update will refer to the Columbus Indians as Columbus in the column from now on.
The Vase Breakers take on the we-promise-we-are-different Lakewood Tigers in their match up this week. The Vase Breakers are shocked that they even have a winning record at this point in the season, as their receivers can hold onto fewer balls than Jon Huntsman's mother. Their team owner has assured us though that he will spend thousands of flex points running scrimmages to see if his pet half back can move from 3.1 yards per carry to 3.3 yards per carry. We're all rooting for him.
I wish I had something funny to say about the Lakewood Tigers. I don't.
Those are they key match ups this week. Who knows what will happen! One thing we can be sure about, however, is that Jon Huntsman's mother leads the league in guys she's "sticked."
Edited by Sardonik00 on Mar 3, 2014 13:42:10
... if by the grace of the good lord we beat the wolves does it count as two wins? 
