The Times of Anubis
From Staff Reports
VALLEY OF THE KINGS -- A body that is believed to be the remains of sports writer Harry Privates was found late Friday night, the apparent sacrificial victim of the angry mob. The body parts that were recovered were found by tourists in a dim walkway behind the Great Pyramid.
Early reports from police indicate that large portions of the body were likely consumed by a large animal in what is believed to be an obscure ancient sacrifical ceremony that has to do with athletic teams.
Privates had been kidnapped late Wednesday after the team bus was stormed by fans of the Hounds (1-7) who were irate following a 28-0 loss to Cairo. His kidnappers released a video Thursday threatening to sacrifice the writer to the gods unless the team won its Friday game against Babylon (4-4). Babylon, however, went on to trounce Anubis, 49-3.
The Times' coverage of Anubis football games has been suspended indefinitely until the paper can insure the safety of its future writer.
From Staff Reports
VALLEY OF THE KINGS -- A body that is believed to be the remains of sports writer Harry Privates was found late Friday night, the apparent sacrificial victim of the angry mob. The body parts that were recovered were found by tourists in a dim walkway behind the Great Pyramid.
Early reports from police indicate that large portions of the body were likely consumed by a large animal in what is believed to be an obscure ancient sacrifical ceremony that has to do with athletic teams.
Privates had been kidnapped late Wednesday after the team bus was stormed by fans of the Hounds (1-7) who were irate following a 28-0 loss to Cairo. His kidnappers released a video Thursday threatening to sacrifice the writer to the gods unless the team won its Friday game against Babylon (4-4). Babylon, however, went on to trounce Anubis, 49-3.
The Times' coverage of Anubis football games has been suspended indefinitely until the paper can insure the safety of its future writer.
