Welcome ladies and gentleman to Kaerey's Playoff Picks, Round 2. Today we enter the second round with 4 great games to watch and then critique as arm chair quarterbacks because all of our own teams weren't good enough to get to this point. We've brought in a few of the best analyst cocaine can buy to give us their opinions. Now remember, these people are people who couldn't make it to this point on their own, so their opinion must be valid.
Chicago 85' Bears
Crib Midgets
In this game, we have the 85' Bears who can't follow simple grammatical rules. Hello Bears, the ' goes in front of the 85 to denote a year. The 3rd grade English flunkies will be taking on the Crib Midgets, a team that has to be in bed by 9pm. Because of the Midget's early bed time, this game is being played early in the morning just after Sesame Street.
To help us analyze this game, we brought in Pee Wee Gold Champion Owner Lone Star Mercs to provide some insight.
Lone Star Mercs, as someone who like the Bears can't seem to name a team correcly (honestly what the heck does Lone Star Mercenaries Mercenary mean? Is the team name individual?), how do you think the Bears will fare vs the Midgets?
LSM: "Well Kaerey, this should be a good game. On one side of the ball you have a team that has an offense and a defense, while on the other side, you have a team that also has an offense and defense"
Kaerey: Uhh.. sorry to inform you, but I used the overly vague statements that apply to everyone in the first round write ups, you need to come up with something more specific.
LSM: "Fine, To get seriuos, the Bears just beat down a good italian team only giving up three extra points, they should easily be able to shut down the Crib Midgets Offense and get an easy win."
Kaerey: Seriously, three extra points, no touchdowns, no field goals, just three extra points? what are they extra too... get out of here you're fired.
Regardless of Lone Star Mercs inability to provide rational thought, I would have to agree with him, I think the Gerr and his Bears are going to have a nice little snack on the Crib Midgets. I mean, I watch the nature channel, and bears are no joke. They've got like big sharp teeth and claws and stuff. They could easily destroy a field full of babies.
Atlantic City Surf
Cascade surlyGoats
To help us break down this next game, welcome to the stage, mccollums!
Welcome mccollums, I see you're actually an agent for the Goats this season, thanks for taking the time to meet with me and provide some insight into this coming game. I hope your time with me here doesn't take away from getting ready for the game vs. the AC Surf.
mccollums: "Well it is a tight schedule, but as the owner, of the team, you gotta do what you gotta do."
Kaerey: Wait, you're the owner, I thought gruppo was the owner?
mccollums/gruppo: "yeah, I uh... wait did you want to interview mccollums or gruppo...."
Kaerey: Our producers thought we called mccollums, but I'd love to talk to you!
mccollums/gruppo: "yeah.. hold on a sec.."
<mccollums/gruppo exits stage, and then comes right back wearing a different shirt>
"Ok, sorry about that Kaerey, it's me! mccollums!!"
Kaerey: uhhh.... all you did was change you're shirt, you're the same person, is mccollums and gruppo the same person?
mccollums/gruppo: "are you calling me a multi? Huh? are you? do you think I'm the same person and all I did was run off stage and change my shirt?"
Kaerey: uhh.. yeah.
mccollums/gruppo: "..."
Kaerey: soo... what's the answer?
mccollums/gruppo: "Look... a squirrel...."
<mccollums/gruppo runs off stage>
Kaerey: well.. that was interesting, yet completely void of any information or factual basis for the storyline. At least we now know that the Goats are no joke and have one of the best pee wee minds working with thim. Regardless of what is said, having that type of knowledge on the team can only be helpful. While Crims and the Surf are a storied franchise, the Goats should be able to take this game. I expect the Goats to be on cruise control by the 3rd quarter.
And now to the eastern conference, and for the first game, we have a very special pair of guests, BORT! and Catch22!
Ogopogo Lake Monsters
Short Bus Window Lickers
Welcome Bort and Catch, are you excited about the end of the Season and the start of Season 23?
Bort: "the answer to that question is coming soon, but I'm sure it won't have an impact on the pee wee game."
Kaerey: Alrighty... So Catch, you used to have a very good Pee Wee Team, do you still keep an eye on the Pee Wee games to see how things are going?
Catch22: "I'm going to have to close this thread up. I'll be sure to bring it to Bort's attention the next time we talk"
Kaerey: .... what thread? We are sitting here on a TV studio Set, and I just asked you a question.
Catch22: "This topic has already been brought up and is NGTH"
Kaerey: Ok..... so, do either of you have an opinion on the Window Lickers/Lake Monster game?
Bort: "Did you see we have a new iphone app? you can like click stuff on it and do nothing of importance in relation to team ownership!"
Kaerey: ...
Catch22: "I'm going to have to point you to the forum rules on this one and give you a warning."
Kaerey: Catch, are you a bot? Like one of those chat bots that people can talk to and try and confuse
Catch22: "I'm sorry, but our plans for that topic are currently in development, we will have more information when it's ready"
Kaerey: I'll take that as a yes. Well since you two are so full of helpful information, I'll just jump into my take on the game. The Lake Monsters surprised me last round with a win over the Chicken Stranglers, However LE and his Window Lickers are one of the most storied teams in all of Pee Wee. I think he's found his stride again, and has learned a lot from running two teams this season. He's got a lot of information, and I have a strong feeling that this could be his year to win another title. He's got a tough road ahead, but should be able to upset the higher ranked Lake Monsters, and move on the Eastern Conference Championship.
Thanks to Bort and his Chat Bot for joining me, but we've got one more game to go, and it should be the best of the 2nd round!
Fighting Gamecocks
Maine Grenadiers
This game is going to be great. The Gamecocks are firing on all cylinders, and the Grenadiers are having a relative down year with 4 losses. The Gamecocks are riding an 8 game winning streak into this game, and have the benefit of having one agent running the entire roster. On the other side, the Grenadiers are rocking an average of an 8 skill point advantage. That should be significant if they are useful points and not something like, training kicking on the o-line to inflate numbers.
To help further break down this game, we have one last special guest to provide some input, Mark Cuban!!!!
MCuban: "Thanks for having me Kaerey, I've been following this league for some time and have a big interest in the out come of this season"
Kaerey: Mr. Cuban, you sir are a god among men! I love what you've done in Dallas, have you ever thought of brining your skills as a passionate owner to the world of Dot Ball?
MCuban: "Of course, I'm always looking for new endeavors to expand my portfolio. In fact, I attended a few games of the Gamecocks earlier this season and am interested in speaking with the owner about a possible sale"
Kaerey: That's amazing! Pee Wee Dot ball and Major League Baseball should be lucky to have an owner like yourself in their ranks. So what about this game, do you have a favorite?
MCuban: "I do. I think Maine has been one of the top teams over the past few seasons, but as times change, I think their run is coming to an end. While they could easily win the championship again this season, I think they caught a bad break and ran into the Gamecocks when they are primed to win."
Kaerey: If you were on shark tank right now, and someone brought you a line of Grenadier themed clothing, would you be in or out?
MCuban: "It depends on the person and the product, but for the most part, out. Right now, the Grenadier's owner is a little to outspoken for me."
Kaerey: Outspoken for you... wow that's a big statement, you're one of the most vocal owners in all of sports. So, you're pick is for the Gamecocks to grab the win?
MCuban: "Definitly, I was looking into my larryobrian trophy while making a club sandwhich the other day, and it just came to me"
Kaerey: I can't disagree with you. Well thanks for your time Mr. Cuban, and good luck with trying to buy an MLB or Pee Wee Team, I hear the Dodgers and Mets might be looking for new ownership.
Well folks that's it for this weeks predictions, thanks to all our guests, and for my boss for being away for the day so I had a few minutes to type this up!
Chicago 85' Bears
Crib Midgets
In this game, we have the 85' Bears who can't follow simple grammatical rules. Hello Bears, the ' goes in front of the 85 to denote a year. The 3rd grade English flunkies will be taking on the Crib Midgets, a team that has to be in bed by 9pm. Because of the Midget's early bed time, this game is being played early in the morning just after Sesame Street.
To help us analyze this game, we brought in Pee Wee Gold Champion Owner Lone Star Mercs to provide some insight.
Lone Star Mercs, as someone who like the Bears can't seem to name a team correcly (honestly what the heck does Lone Star Mercenaries Mercenary mean? Is the team name individual?), how do you think the Bears will fare vs the Midgets?
LSM: "Well Kaerey, this should be a good game. On one side of the ball you have a team that has an offense and a defense, while on the other side, you have a team that also has an offense and defense"
Kaerey: Uhh.. sorry to inform you, but I used the overly vague statements that apply to everyone in the first round write ups, you need to come up with something more specific.
LSM: "Fine, To get seriuos, the Bears just beat down a good italian team only giving up three extra points, they should easily be able to shut down the Crib Midgets Offense and get an easy win."
Kaerey: Seriously, three extra points, no touchdowns, no field goals, just three extra points? what are they extra too... get out of here you're fired.
Regardless of Lone Star Mercs inability to provide rational thought, I would have to agree with him, I think the Gerr and his Bears are going to have a nice little snack on the Crib Midgets. I mean, I watch the nature channel, and bears are no joke. They've got like big sharp teeth and claws and stuff. They could easily destroy a field full of babies.
Atlantic City Surf
Cascade surlyGoats
To help us break down this next game, welcome to the stage, mccollums!
Welcome mccollums, I see you're actually an agent for the Goats this season, thanks for taking the time to meet with me and provide some insight into this coming game. I hope your time with me here doesn't take away from getting ready for the game vs. the AC Surf.
mccollums: "Well it is a tight schedule, but as the owner, of the team, you gotta do what you gotta do."
Kaerey: Wait, you're the owner, I thought gruppo was the owner?
mccollums/gruppo: "yeah, I uh... wait did you want to interview mccollums or gruppo...."
Kaerey: Our producers thought we called mccollums, but I'd love to talk to you!
mccollums/gruppo: "yeah.. hold on a sec.."
<mccollums/gruppo exits stage, and then comes right back wearing a different shirt>
"Ok, sorry about that Kaerey, it's me! mccollums!!"
Kaerey: uhhh.... all you did was change you're shirt, you're the same person, is mccollums and gruppo the same person?
mccollums/gruppo: "are you calling me a multi? Huh? are you? do you think I'm the same person and all I did was run off stage and change my shirt?"
Kaerey: uhh.. yeah.
mccollums/gruppo: "..."
Kaerey: soo... what's the answer?
mccollums/gruppo: "Look... a squirrel...."
<mccollums/gruppo runs off stage>
Kaerey: well.. that was interesting, yet completely void of any information or factual basis for the storyline. At least we now know that the Goats are no joke and have one of the best pee wee minds working with thim. Regardless of what is said, having that type of knowledge on the team can only be helpful. While Crims and the Surf are a storied franchise, the Goats should be able to take this game. I expect the Goats to be on cruise control by the 3rd quarter.
And now to the eastern conference, and for the first game, we have a very special pair of guests, BORT! and Catch22!
Ogopogo Lake Monsters
Short Bus Window Lickers
Welcome Bort and Catch, are you excited about the end of the Season and the start of Season 23?
Bort: "the answer to that question is coming soon, but I'm sure it won't have an impact on the pee wee game."
Kaerey: Alrighty... So Catch, you used to have a very good Pee Wee Team, do you still keep an eye on the Pee Wee games to see how things are going?
Catch22: "I'm going to have to close this thread up. I'll be sure to bring it to Bort's attention the next time we talk"
Kaerey: .... what thread? We are sitting here on a TV studio Set, and I just asked you a question.
Catch22: "This topic has already been brought up and is NGTH"
Kaerey: Ok..... so, do either of you have an opinion on the Window Lickers/Lake Monster game?
Bort: "Did you see we have a new iphone app? you can like click stuff on it and do nothing of importance in relation to team ownership!"
Kaerey: ...
Catch22: "I'm going to have to point you to the forum rules on this one and give you a warning."
Kaerey: Catch, are you a bot? Like one of those chat bots that people can talk to and try and confuse
Catch22: "I'm sorry, but our plans for that topic are currently in development, we will have more information when it's ready"
Kaerey: I'll take that as a yes. Well since you two are so full of helpful information, I'll just jump into my take on the game. The Lake Monsters surprised me last round with a win over the Chicken Stranglers, However LE and his Window Lickers are one of the most storied teams in all of Pee Wee. I think he's found his stride again, and has learned a lot from running two teams this season. He's got a lot of information, and I have a strong feeling that this could be his year to win another title. He's got a tough road ahead, but should be able to upset the higher ranked Lake Monsters, and move on the Eastern Conference Championship.
Thanks to Bort and his Chat Bot for joining me, but we've got one more game to go, and it should be the best of the 2nd round!
Fighting Gamecocks
Maine Grenadiers
This game is going to be great. The Gamecocks are firing on all cylinders, and the Grenadiers are having a relative down year with 4 losses. The Gamecocks are riding an 8 game winning streak into this game, and have the benefit of having one agent running the entire roster. On the other side, the Grenadiers are rocking an average of an 8 skill point advantage. That should be significant if they are useful points and not something like, training kicking on the o-line to inflate numbers.
To help further break down this game, we have one last special guest to provide some input, Mark Cuban!!!!
MCuban: "Thanks for having me Kaerey, I've been following this league for some time and have a big interest in the out come of this season"
Kaerey: Mr. Cuban, you sir are a god among men! I love what you've done in Dallas, have you ever thought of brining your skills as a passionate owner to the world of Dot Ball?
MCuban: "Of course, I'm always looking for new endeavors to expand my portfolio. In fact, I attended a few games of the Gamecocks earlier this season and am interested in speaking with the owner about a possible sale"
Kaerey: That's amazing! Pee Wee Dot ball and Major League Baseball should be lucky to have an owner like yourself in their ranks. So what about this game, do you have a favorite?
MCuban: "I do. I think Maine has been one of the top teams over the past few seasons, but as times change, I think their run is coming to an end. While they could easily win the championship again this season, I think they caught a bad break and ran into the Gamecocks when they are primed to win."
Kaerey: If you were on shark tank right now, and someone brought you a line of Grenadier themed clothing, would you be in or out?
MCuban: "It depends on the person and the product, but for the most part, out. Right now, the Grenadier's owner is a little to outspoken for me."
Kaerey: Outspoken for you... wow that's a big statement, you're one of the most vocal owners in all of sports. So, you're pick is for the Gamecocks to grab the win?
MCuban: "Definitly, I was looking into my larryobrian trophy while making a club sandwhich the other day, and it just came to me"
Kaerey: I can't disagree with you. Well thanks for your time Mr. Cuban, and good luck with trying to buy an MLB or Pee Wee Team, I hear the Dodgers and Mets might be looking for new ownership.
Well folks that's it for this weeks predictions, thanks to all our guests, and for my boss for being away for the day so I had a few minutes to type this up!
