"Hey, just you're ol' buddy Freddie dropping in to let you know I'm back in APL. I've signed with the... hang on a second... fuck it, I can't remember the name of that team. Didn't it start with a T? No, an R! Gotta be an R! Ah shit I'm drawing a blank again."
FMILC, somewhere in South America: *snickers*
"But here's the deal. In the past few seasons, there has been a great deal of turnover in our beloved APL, and I hardly recognize anyone around here, let alone my own team. I used to know all the players who came by one of my Freddie's Foxxxes locations by name. Now we gotta check them for ID. Not that we actually check for ID, children of all ages are welcome; that's just a figure of speech."
"I miss the days of sharing the lower AA leagues with our good friend Dirty Dirt Diggler. Now we tried not to pity our retarded friend, and we let him play quite a large role in building the identity of our league. But more importantly, he was an adversary for me. A good one, because I always outperformed him, and my team always won. Now there's no one to rip apart in the media anymore. No personalities around here. And I know someone out there has to be jealous of my greatness."
"So this is an open call to the players of APL; if you do in fact suffer from an inferiority complex just by looking at my stats, then realizing that my status as the consummate team player is just too much to bear, then please, let it be known."
"The Sultan awaits your submissions."
FMILC, somewhere in South America: *snickers*
"But here's the deal. In the past few seasons, there has been a great deal of turnover in our beloved APL, and I hardly recognize anyone around here, let alone my own team. I used to know all the players who came by one of my Freddie's Foxxxes locations by name. Now we gotta check them for ID. Not that we actually check for ID, children of all ages are welcome; that's just a figure of speech."
"I miss the days of sharing the lower AA leagues with our good friend Dirty Dirt Diggler. Now we tried not to pity our retarded friend, and we let him play quite a large role in building the identity of our league. But more importantly, he was an adversary for me. A good one, because I always outperformed him, and my team always won. Now there's no one to rip apart in the media anymore. No personalities around here. And I know someone out there has to be jealous of my greatness."
"So this is an open call to the players of APL; if you do in fact suffer from an inferiority complex just by looking at my stats, then realizing that my status as the consummate team player is just too much to bear, then please, let it be known."
"The Sultan awaits your submissions."
