COLOGNE (AP) - Football fans were stunned today when Sea Hawks running back Tom Warner inexplicably failed to return a punt for a touchdown against the Cologne Ghosts. The few home fans in attendance certainly did not let Warner, who returned the other 35 punts he fielded for touchdowns, forget the moment in the third quarter when he managed a meagre 27 yard return before running out of bounds.
'They call our guys the Ghosts for a reason' scoffed Cologne local Karl Saussagestuffer, 'you really can run right through them. When Warner went out of bounds I almost laughed' he continued, before admitting that a genetic defect had left him with no sense of humour.
Warner was even less happy. 'Its bloody Bort's fault - we've been telling him to fix that damn elusive running style for ages, but here I go running out of bounds with only a transparent dead punter between me and the endzone. Every other time I ran back a punt he just said 'Boo' and vanished'.
The Sea Hawk offence was even more inept, managing just 5 offensive plays for the day. 'To be honest, we got a bit carried away in the beer hall last night and most of our guys were still pretty pissed by gametime' said Sea Hawk QB Seahawks Rock! 'One of our guys drank himself to death last night and we show up here and he is playing on their defensive line. It was pretty traumatic I can tell you!
The Sea Hawks defence failed to record an interception despite facing 84 pass plays. 'Their QB was so bad he couldn't even throw it far enough to cross the line of scrimmage' said Hawks LB Lime Green, 'so it made intercepting the ball a bit tricky. Anyway, with the state our offence was in we didn't really want to get the ball back too quickly.'
Owner Downhill PV was philosophical about the performance. 'Of course I am philosophical - I am Greek!' he stormed before hailing a cab to the airport and the fifteen different connections required to get back to Ionia.
Despite the disappointing effort, the Sea Hawks did sneak past the Ghosts 315-0. Ghosts head coach Caspar Whineberger said 'We would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those meddling kids'.
Game report by Sea Hawks Head Coach ryanshaw
'They call our guys the Ghosts for a reason' scoffed Cologne local Karl Saussagestuffer, 'you really can run right through them. When Warner went out of bounds I almost laughed' he continued, before admitting that a genetic defect had left him with no sense of humour.
Warner was even less happy. 'Its bloody Bort's fault - we've been telling him to fix that damn elusive running style for ages, but here I go running out of bounds with only a transparent dead punter between me and the endzone. Every other time I ran back a punt he just said 'Boo' and vanished'.
The Sea Hawk offence was even more inept, managing just 5 offensive plays for the day. 'To be honest, we got a bit carried away in the beer hall last night and most of our guys were still pretty pissed by gametime' said Sea Hawk QB Seahawks Rock! 'One of our guys drank himself to death last night and we show up here and he is playing on their defensive line. It was pretty traumatic I can tell you!
The Sea Hawks defence failed to record an interception despite facing 84 pass plays. 'Their QB was so bad he couldn't even throw it far enough to cross the line of scrimmage' said Hawks LB Lime Green, 'so it made intercepting the ball a bit tricky. Anyway, with the state our offence was in we didn't really want to get the ball back too quickly.'
Owner Downhill PV was philosophical about the performance. 'Of course I am philosophical - I am Greek!' he stormed before hailing a cab to the airport and the fifteen different connections required to get back to Ionia.
Despite the disappointing effort, the Sea Hawks did sneak past the Ghosts 315-0. Ghosts head coach Caspar Whineberger said 'We would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those meddling kids'.
Game report by Sea Hawks Head Coach ryanshaw
