Coach BSS offers up his first presser in well over a season to address the assembled and eager media.
Coach BSS: OK, let's get this finished. Rum and Coke doesn't drink itself.
Intrepid Reporter #1: Coach, many people are surprised by your 5-5 start. You are 2-4 in your last 6 games, you are facing precipitous drops in fan support and on the outside looking in as far as the playoffs go right now. What is your feeling on that?
Coach BSS: We thought we were gonna be pretty good this season and I think we are improved, but we are missing something for sure. We are still looking, but thanks for pointing that out to me. I'm not painfully aware of all those things every moment of the day. I can tell you we aren't going anywhere, this is too much fun.
Floozie Reporter #1: Coach BSS, you haven't spoken to your son in over 6 years. Why don't you take your responsibilities seriously?
Coach BSS: That kid is not mine. Who are you? Never mind, that kid could be mine. I'm guessing you were pretty hot six years ago. Next question.
Intrepid Reporter #1 again: Your mortal enemies Ocho Cinco have made some pretty serious upgrades in the offseason and are really playing well. Are you concerned you might lose to them again?
Coach BSS: They are playing well, but those bozos have no chance against us. Please. We will be motivated and ready to play.
Intrepid Reporter #1 pressing his luck: Does that mean you weren't ready to play in the previous 5 losses? Is that due to coaching?
<Spaceman leans in from the side of the room, touches Intrepid Reporter #1 on the shoulder, he falls over dead>
Intrepid Reporter #2: Coach, is it true that all the rain and wind at your practice facility is because Spaceman Africa is making it rain only at your practice facility in order to get the team to focus?
Coach BSS: That is pretty funny. He might be the most dangerous back-up Safety in the league, but I'm not sure he can control the weath.....
A sudden huge thunder clap interrupts the press conference causing the press to scatter and run. Coach BSS mosey's back to his office since that is where he keeps the opponent's film and booze.
Coach BSS: OK, let's get this finished. Rum and Coke doesn't drink itself.
Intrepid Reporter #1: Coach, many people are surprised by your 5-5 start. You are 2-4 in your last 6 games, you are facing precipitous drops in fan support and on the outside looking in as far as the playoffs go right now. What is your feeling on that?
Coach BSS: We thought we were gonna be pretty good this season and I think we are improved, but we are missing something for sure. We are still looking, but thanks for pointing that out to me. I'm not painfully aware of all those things every moment of the day. I can tell you we aren't going anywhere, this is too much fun.
Floozie Reporter #1: Coach BSS, you haven't spoken to your son in over 6 years. Why don't you take your responsibilities seriously?
Coach BSS: That kid is not mine. Who are you? Never mind, that kid could be mine. I'm guessing you were pretty hot six years ago. Next question.
Intrepid Reporter #1 again: Your mortal enemies Ocho Cinco have made some pretty serious upgrades in the offseason and are really playing well. Are you concerned you might lose to them again?
Coach BSS: They are playing well, but those bozos have no chance against us. Please. We will be motivated and ready to play.
Intrepid Reporter #1 pressing his luck: Does that mean you weren't ready to play in the previous 5 losses? Is that due to coaching?
<Spaceman leans in from the side of the room, touches Intrepid Reporter #1 on the shoulder, he falls over dead>
Intrepid Reporter #2: Coach, is it true that all the rain and wind at your practice facility is because Spaceman Africa is making it rain only at your practice facility in order to get the team to focus?
Coach BSS: That is pretty funny. He might be the most dangerous back-up Safety in the league, but I'm not sure he can control the weath.....
A sudden huge thunder clap interrupts the press conference causing the press to scatter and run. Coach BSS mosey's back to his office since that is where he keeps the opponent's film and booze.
but you are correct, pacemaker is still working... playoffs are coming so that always helps too
