Mith excuse #371 - Ye Olde Stand By
Guys...........I got some real bad news to tell you.
I got a hang nail today. Oh God! The pain! The pain!
I went to the ER this morning and the doctors are taking x-rays to figure out the best way to extract the hang nail.
The doctors have less than 48 hours to do something before it turns gangrenous and my left arm will have to be amputated, even though the hang nail is on my right hand. But it could spread that quickly.
Furthermore, the hang nail is on my right hand, which is my "friendly" hand, if you know what I mean. I may never know the joys of masturbation again.
Also my health insurance expired a week ago and all of this will have to be paid for out of pocket from a $7.50 per hour job of night manager at Carl Jr.s Hamburgers. All these procedures will cost roughly in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, but I do have coupons. Have one surgery, get one free.
And to further complicate matters, I have a very rare blood type and there are no blood banks in the galaxy that store my type of blood. They would have to send a space exploration team into the neighboring galaxies and find advanced civilizations that have my blood type, make a formal peace treaty and sign trade agreements between our two races and send back enough pints of blood to sustain me through the removal of my hang nail through emergency surgery and my recovery from all these procedures. They are sending out the space exploration team in the space shuttle on Wednesday, so that is promising news, if they get back in time that is. Which I believe they can.
Now I have just learned that my cat has got out of the house and I don't know where he has gone.
But through all of the life threatening news, potentially losing my arm, having no health insurance, being in debt for the rest of my life and losing my cat, the fact that I would be able to set the team just to basic tactics is a Festivus miracle in itself.
But seeing how I will be in massive debt for at least until the Smexies game has been played, I won't have any internet service.
But everything is not as bad as it seems. I received a letter today telling me that I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. Too bad the hospitals took possession of my car to help pay for all the operations.
But the other Czech Yourself players have said they would swing by and pick me up and give me a ride to their houses so I can use a computer to try and set tactics, and I will try to keep from passing out from the excruciating pain of said hang nail. I just have to find my own way home and chip in for gas and internet service. Such sweethearts are my guys..
So you can see that through all of these troubling times and the fact that I truly think Mods and Admins are all in on an elaborate conspiracy to steal my game plans and use them against me and possibly use them to invade small third world countries and are also hiding the fact that our government has been in contact with aliens since the early 1930's, I may not be able to set tactics or even game plan for the Smexies game.
I know you all are wondering where you can send donations and well wishes to me in my times of desperation and trials and tribulations. And thank you to you all for this. My family has set up the Mith Foundation for Extremely Painful Hang Nails and Not Being Able To Set Tactics. We are having fundraisers to help fellow GLB'ers that are going through the same afflictions as I am. If I should die the Pope has said that I shall be martyred and have a good shot at sainthood. Saint Mith, the patron saint of many excuses and Hot Pockets. Mmmm, I just love Hot Pockets.
So fear not fellow EEA1'ers, if I should expire from this mortal wound, Bort has promised that the EE Pro League will be renamed in my honor. The EE All-Mith League.
Oh agony! The pain is too much! I must rest now everyone. So if Czech Yourself does not beat the Smexies, this post has explained why in advance.
And if Czech Yourself does beat the Smexies, then certain movie producers have approached me about making this into a movie. It has Oscar written all over it! They said they can get Matt Damon to play me and Rosie O'Donnell to play Prince Darius.
Either way, thank you all for your best wishes to my speedy recovery.
Your friend always,
Mith
XOXOxOxoxO = Big kiss, big hug, big kiss, big hug, little kiss, big hug, little kiss, little hug, little kiss, big hug.
Guys...........I got some real bad news to tell you.
I got a hang nail today. Oh God! The pain! The pain!
I went to the ER this morning and the doctors are taking x-rays to figure out the best way to extract the hang nail.
The doctors have less than 48 hours to do something before it turns gangrenous and my left arm will have to be amputated, even though the hang nail is on my right hand. But it could spread that quickly.
Furthermore, the hang nail is on my right hand, which is my "friendly" hand, if you know what I mean. I may never know the joys of masturbation again.
Also my health insurance expired a week ago and all of this will have to be paid for out of pocket from a $7.50 per hour job of night manager at Carl Jr.s Hamburgers. All these procedures will cost roughly in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, but I do have coupons. Have one surgery, get one free.
And to further complicate matters, I have a very rare blood type and there are no blood banks in the galaxy that store my type of blood. They would have to send a space exploration team into the neighboring galaxies and find advanced civilizations that have my blood type, make a formal peace treaty and sign trade agreements between our two races and send back enough pints of blood to sustain me through the removal of my hang nail through emergency surgery and my recovery from all these procedures. They are sending out the space exploration team in the space shuttle on Wednesday, so that is promising news, if they get back in time that is. Which I believe they can.
Now I have just learned that my cat has got out of the house and I don't know where he has gone.
But through all of the life threatening news, potentially losing my arm, having no health insurance, being in debt for the rest of my life and losing my cat, the fact that I would be able to set the team just to basic tactics is a Festivus miracle in itself.
But seeing how I will be in massive debt for at least until the Smexies game has been played, I won't have any internet service.
But everything is not as bad as it seems. I received a letter today telling me that I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. Too bad the hospitals took possession of my car to help pay for all the operations.
But the other Czech Yourself players have said they would swing by and pick me up and give me a ride to their houses so I can use a computer to try and set tactics, and I will try to keep from passing out from the excruciating pain of said hang nail. I just have to find my own way home and chip in for gas and internet service. Such sweethearts are my guys..
So you can see that through all of these troubling times and the fact that I truly think Mods and Admins are all in on an elaborate conspiracy to steal my game plans and use them against me and possibly use them to invade small third world countries and are also hiding the fact that our government has been in contact with aliens since the early 1930's, I may not be able to set tactics or even game plan for the Smexies game.
I know you all are wondering where you can send donations and well wishes to me in my times of desperation and trials and tribulations. And thank you to you all for this. My family has set up the Mith Foundation for Extremely Painful Hang Nails and Not Being Able To Set Tactics. We are having fundraisers to help fellow GLB'ers that are going through the same afflictions as I am. If I should die the Pope has said that I shall be martyred and have a good shot at sainthood. Saint Mith, the patron saint of many excuses and Hot Pockets. Mmmm, I just love Hot Pockets.
So fear not fellow EEA1'ers, if I should expire from this mortal wound, Bort has promised that the EE Pro League will be renamed in my honor. The EE All-Mith League.
Oh agony! The pain is too much! I must rest now everyone. So if Czech Yourself does not beat the Smexies, this post has explained why in advance.
And if Czech Yourself does beat the Smexies, then certain movie producers have approached me about making this into a movie. It has Oscar written all over it! They said they can get Matt Damon to play me and Rosie O'Donnell to play Prince Darius.
Either way, thank you all for your best wishes to my speedy recovery.
Your friend always,
Mith
XOXOxOxoxO = Big kiss, big hug, big kiss, big hug, little kiss, big hug, little kiss, little hug, little kiss, big hug.
Last edited Mar 17, 2009 11:14:51
