Week 2
Pingree Grove Pits (0-1) at Cambodia Mountain Men (1-0)
After tromping through mountains all week, the Cambodians enjoy a stroll through Pingree Grove. They may even stop to eat some of the delicious fruit on the trees. Pits and all. Mountain Men by 35 (btw, I have taken fool’s approach of 35 being the maximum line. So if you see a 35, I expect ugliness.)
Manila Death Squad (0-1) at Hell Valley Snow Monkeys (1-0)
The Death Squad try their best to get the Monkeys to take their killing like a man. But alas, Monkeys aren’t men. The squirrelly little bastards won’t stay still long enough for Manila to but them in their death hold. Monkeys by 24.
Algeria Addiction (1-0) at Manila Cyberballers (0-1)
Well, I do believe that the demise of the Addition was exaggerated. These guys are like fine wine – getting better with age. Plus, many claim that it’s a good way to avoid hangovers. Addiction by 35. (There’s that 35 number.)
Seoul Men (0-1) at Manila Pack (0-1)
Time for one of these rookies to get their first AA win. You might say, one of them will lose their virginity. But how does only one lose their virginity when two virgins go at it. Tempted to pick a tie in this one. Pack by 7.
Phuket Water Dragons (0-1) at New Jersey Beaver Hunters (1-0)
Beaver hunting can be a dangerous occupation, whether its in the backwoods or the backroom of the bar. This week they stumble into a Dragon’s cave on their hunt. No beavers (of either kind) live there, so they shoot a Dragon for the heck of it. Beaver Hunters by 7.
Brutal Deluxe (0-1) at Sumatra Sting (1-0)
I think the Deluxe is in for a decent season, but then again when your kicker has OJ’s mugshot as an avatar (not too mention he’s a “team leader”) – you could be in for a rough year. Sting by 35.
Ho Chi Minh Hookers (0-1) at Surabaya Poison Dart Frogs (1-0)
The Surabaya team has said that we could just call them “The Frogs.” Who the hell do they think they are? Prince? Madonna? Pele? They haven’t earned a one word name just yet. Hookers by 3.
Hakone Heroes (1-0) at Tibet Psychonauts (1-0)
I’ve never had much luck picking the crazies from Tibet. Psychonauts. I pick them to win, they lose. I pick them to lose, they win. Sorry Tibet. Psychonauts by 10.
Midway Maulers (0-1) at Arctic Avalanche (1-0)
Inadvertent yodeling by the Maulers awake the Avalanche. They get buried without knowing what hit them. No fun. Avalanche by 24.
Bandar Seri Begawan Marauders (0-1) at Garut Fire Horses (1-0)
BSBM (got a nice ring to it) lost the Scrabble Battle last week (they ran out of vowels). This week they get rode by the Horses. Every seen someone get rode by a horse? Not a pretty seen. Horses by 21.
Shanghai Cheetahs (1-0) at Kailua Tigers (0-1)
Top speed of a cheetah – 64 mph. Top speed of a tiger – 35 mph. Tigers – You can’t touch this. Cheetahs by 28.
Peking Stampede (0-1) at Palembang Tigers (1-0)
More things traveling at Tiger speed. A Stampede is a much better matchup than a Cheetah. The got a chance in this one. Tigers by 14.
Lea Lea Furniture (0-1) at Shanghai Shadow Dragons (1-0)
The Lea Lea squad looked like 2nd hand material last week. This week they get some fancy new ottomans in and floor the Dragons. Furniture by 10.
Malaysian Madness (1-0) at Taipei Yonghe soybean milk (0-1)
Word on the street is that soybean milk can cause indigestion. The boys from Malaysia claim to be lactose tolerant, but what’s it matter, they are Mad anyways. Madness by 17.
Hanoi Hot Karls (0-1) at The Manila Guerrillas (1-0)
The Guerrillas treat the Hot Karls more like hot tamales - chewing them up and spitting them out. No problem for a Guerrilla. Guerrillas by 24.
Georgetown United (0-1) at Tibetan Drunk Monks (1-0)
The Georgetown boys definitely need to unite after the beating at the hands of the Mountain Men. Where’s John Thompson when you need him? Monks by 10.
Pingree Grove Pits (0-1) at Cambodia Mountain Men (1-0)
After tromping through mountains all week, the Cambodians enjoy a stroll through Pingree Grove. They may even stop to eat some of the delicious fruit on the trees. Pits and all. Mountain Men by 35 (btw, I have taken fool’s approach of 35 being the maximum line. So if you see a 35, I expect ugliness.)
Manila Death Squad (0-1) at Hell Valley Snow Monkeys (1-0)
The Death Squad try their best to get the Monkeys to take their killing like a man. But alas, Monkeys aren’t men. The squirrelly little bastards won’t stay still long enough for Manila to but them in their death hold. Monkeys by 24.
Algeria Addiction (1-0) at Manila Cyberballers (0-1)
Well, I do believe that the demise of the Addition was exaggerated. These guys are like fine wine – getting better with age. Plus, many claim that it’s a good way to avoid hangovers. Addiction by 35. (There’s that 35 number.)
Seoul Men (0-1) at Manila Pack (0-1)
Time for one of these rookies to get their first AA win. You might say, one of them will lose their virginity. But how does only one lose their virginity when two virgins go at it. Tempted to pick a tie in this one. Pack by 7.
Phuket Water Dragons (0-1) at New Jersey Beaver Hunters (1-0)
Beaver hunting can be a dangerous occupation, whether its in the backwoods or the backroom of the bar. This week they stumble into a Dragon’s cave on their hunt. No beavers (of either kind) live there, so they shoot a Dragon for the heck of it. Beaver Hunters by 7.
Brutal Deluxe (0-1) at Sumatra Sting (1-0)
I think the Deluxe is in for a decent season, but then again when your kicker has OJ’s mugshot as an avatar (not too mention he’s a “team leader”) – you could be in for a rough year. Sting by 35.
Ho Chi Minh Hookers (0-1) at Surabaya Poison Dart Frogs (1-0)
The Surabaya team has said that we could just call them “The Frogs.” Who the hell do they think they are? Prince? Madonna? Pele? They haven’t earned a one word name just yet. Hookers by 3.
Hakone Heroes (1-0) at Tibet Psychonauts (1-0)
I’ve never had much luck picking the crazies from Tibet. Psychonauts. I pick them to win, they lose. I pick them to lose, they win. Sorry Tibet. Psychonauts by 10.
Midway Maulers (0-1) at Arctic Avalanche (1-0)
Inadvertent yodeling by the Maulers awake the Avalanche. They get buried without knowing what hit them. No fun. Avalanche by 24.
Bandar Seri Begawan Marauders (0-1) at Garut Fire Horses (1-0)
BSBM (got a nice ring to it) lost the Scrabble Battle last week (they ran out of vowels). This week they get rode by the Horses. Every seen someone get rode by a horse? Not a pretty seen. Horses by 21.
Shanghai Cheetahs (1-0) at Kailua Tigers (0-1)
Top speed of a cheetah – 64 mph. Top speed of a tiger – 35 mph. Tigers – You can’t touch this. Cheetahs by 28.
Peking Stampede (0-1) at Palembang Tigers (1-0)
More things traveling at Tiger speed. A Stampede is a much better matchup than a Cheetah. The got a chance in this one. Tigers by 14.
Lea Lea Furniture (0-1) at Shanghai Shadow Dragons (1-0)
The Lea Lea squad looked like 2nd hand material last week. This week they get some fancy new ottomans in and floor the Dragons. Furniture by 10.
Malaysian Madness (1-0) at Taipei Yonghe soybean milk (0-1)
Word on the street is that soybean milk can cause indigestion. The boys from Malaysia claim to be lactose tolerant, but what’s it matter, they are Mad anyways. Madness by 17.
Hanoi Hot Karls (0-1) at The Manila Guerrillas (1-0)
The Guerrillas treat the Hot Karls more like hot tamales - chewing them up and spitting them out. No problem for a Guerrilla. Guerrillas by 24.
Georgetown United (0-1) at Tibetan Drunk Monks (1-0)
The Georgetown boys definitely need to unite after the beating at the hands of the Mountain Men. Where’s John Thompson when you need him? Monks by 10.
