Hey guys, trying something new here. I was gonna get more interviews, but I didn't want to be nuisance so I gave it a trial run to see how everyone likes it. I based it off SI. Honest feedback is appreciated. If anyone has any ideas or wants to help write, any help would be liked. I want to try and get this done weekly but I don't know if I can do it consistently with graduation coming up and what not.
A #7 Western Conference Digest
By: Some Loser
(Courtesy: SI)
Hugh Laurie and the Waco Davidians Prove They’re the Best- right now.
Also Featuring:
1.) RGB Beserk’s Big (and fast) Secret.
2.) Do you feel like a douchebag for putting so much time in this league?
HEADLINE STORY:
(Courtesy: www.nlm.nih.gov) WR Doc Smooth, 3rd in WC Receiving Yards, scores a 67 yard TD vs. Grand Haven.
The Best?
Thanks to a smothering D, Waco has beaten two of the conference’s best teams already, next up? #2 Oakland.
On a calm Monday afternoon in Denver, temperatures in the 60’s, two of the best in the A#7 league are locked up even on the gridiron. Like a photo finish to the Kentucky Derby, 1:26 was left when the Denver Pirates tied up the Waco Davidians in one of a slew amount of good early season games thus far. The Pirates had just been able to tie up the affair with a FG after starting their drive on the Davidians 36. What more could you expect of the Davidians D? For they had quieted not an explosive offense, yet a disciplined, mechanical one for most of the game, allowing 10 points until Denver had conducted their tying drive.
But for now, it was Hugh Laurie’s time. Hell, his offense didn’t bring much either, only scoring 6 pts (a Marty Motallico 85 yard punt return gave Waco their only TD of the day) and with a very quiet running game (their two leading rushers; Tippit and Puck managed a very pedestrian 74 yards on 19 carries) Waco had to lean on their man, to prove not only is he a winner, but he can gain his team’s trust.
The whole plan on the drive was conservatism. Starting at their own 46, Laurie threw a post pattern ball to Jerry Rice Jr. for 9 yards, that was followed by a 7 yard pass to Miles Snider on a hitch pattern for a first down. Two incomplete passes later, the Davidians faced a 3rd and 10 on the Pirates 38, no conversion here and it was most likely punting time with 1:13 left and no timeouts. Laurie went with his big time WR, Tom Brady’s Randy Moss, Troy Aikman’s Michael Irvin.. Almost all the great QB’s have had THE GO-TO GUY to get the ball too, for Hugh and Waco, it is most definitely Doc. Doc caught the pass in front of a first down marker, dodged a tackler and kept the drive alive with another first down. A couple plays later, Mirko Filipovic won the game on a 33 yard field goal as time expired.
There’s a vulnerability to the Davidians, yet that may make them one of those most dangerous teams in throughout ALL the league. They simply find a way to win. Perhaps they weren’t the best team on the field in both games. Yet they have found a way to win nailbiters (very reminiscent of a 2002 Ohio State team that ended up winning the title). In week 3, they were boosted by a staunch defensive effort with 3 interceptions in the 2nd half off of Hartford’s Johnny Walker, two of which by Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg. “They don’t make it look pretty, but they get the job done each time out,” said one conference exec/scout.
The scary truth is, this week 4 game against the Oakland Wizards might be Waco’s best chance to lose the remaining regular season ball games. Oakland brings a balanced dose of passing and the running game of Jimmy James. But it is their defense that must reign in concern, allowing only 16 points after three games. What they have yet to prove though, is the ability to perform down the stretch of a ball game. That is all Waco might need.
Who Is this Guy?
After getting rolled in their first 2 games, The RGB Berzerk were looking at a long season… now a fresh face has brought new life to a once deadbeat organization.
It’s a calm evening at RGB Berzerk stadium, although there is a football game being played. The crowd is sparse and no one seems to care during pre-game warm-ups. It seems as if the teenage children has used the game as a social outing for the night. With consensus discussion of fashion, plus all the text messaging one could possibly fathom, it hardly seems like one is at a football game, but more of a mall.
Why, it’s only week 3, why do people not care about their hometown Berzerk already? I asked a middle aged man, seated front row on the 40, decked out in RGB gear, an admitted season ticket holder, “I suppose it’s because we know this team can’t go anywhere. In game 1, the home opener, we only tallied 180 yards of total offense, and lost 10-0, no one wants to come out to watch this,” said Lewis White, the fan. So why is he here? “To spend a night away from my wife,” he replies.
Ya, it would be depressing to have had the start RGB had.. Losing 10-0 to a mediocre Miami team plus getting rocked by Las Vegas 54-7 the next week wont bring any eternal optimism to the team… Players take the field at the RGB Stadium, the Ambridge Brigade come in at 0-2 as well and is thought to be jostling with the hometown Berzerk for a right to be called the conference’s worst team. Ambridge gets first possession and drives it deep into RGB’s territory, where they bring out the FG unit for a 30 yard attempt. Sebastian Longoria pushes the FG wide right, a small, collective cheer rings throughout the stadium.. Berzerk’s turn to take the field. There does seem to be a new RB that they have in there, he doesn’t seem to be incredibly big or strong, around 6 foot, 210.
He gets a carry on the first play, takes the ball right with a burst of speed right away to the tackle, he seems like he might of busted a big play, but the DE Leonel Ennis barely catches his ankle for a 5 yard gain. The PA announcer then comes on “Five yard gain on the play by Johnny AH-WOO-GAH?”, it almost seemed as if he weren’t sure his name, like someone in the booth played with him and put a false name in the program. He gets the call again on 2nd and 5, makes a great cut in the backfield, has the patience to wait for his fullback, Jackson Granderson, to block a linebacker, then all of a sudden accelerates a huge spurt of speed and for an extra 10 yards, then needs to be brought down by 3 guys. All of a sudden a little buzz rings through the stadium, and the PA says with conviction “A gain of 13 on the play for Johnny AH-WOO-GAHHHH!!!!.. FIRST DOWN!”. The Bezerk end up stalling at midfield on the drive, yet you can already see the Ambridge D having to start to put 7-8 men in the box to stop this “EH-OO-GUH Or whatever the hell his name is, says another fan sitting behind me.”
The next drive RGB scores a TD, without too much help from Johnny A. except for his decoy tactics. From then on, a new man gave this sparse crowd, this team, this organization some much needed new breath air of life. His first TD at the beginning of the 2nd quarter wasn’t bad: rush to the right end with his speed, then right near the goalline he puts his head down to knock 3 tacklers back for his first TD of the year and as a Berzerk. He doesn’t get a rush for the rest of the 1st half. The 2nd half, though, is clearly his time, with his team up 14-0, Awooga basically made himself a recruiting video in just a couple of drives. Whether it be on the 3rd and 1 on Ambridge’s 45 where he simply runs past a shocked Ennis, sheds Jodi Lynn with his continued speed, then has the power to simply THROW Julian Roper off of him for a 13 yard gain. Or maybe you like his 3rd TD of the day with his team up 21-0 midway through the 4th, Johnny take’s a pitch off to the left, looks completely trapped, then runs between the smallest of gaps between two CB’s then makes Miles Lankford his bitch by RUNNING HIM OVER. Not good enough? Fine, how about the one on the last play of the game (sure, it might have been running up the score, but YouTube wont care) our main man takes a pitch to the right this time, jukes a poor CB out of his shoes, stiff arms not one, but two LB’s, slides past a safety’s grip, then once again puts his head down to take out a DE. Don’t believe me?
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=1557670
OK, so it’s one game against arguably the league’s worst team, but 21 carries off 179 yards with 26 (26!) broken tackles is nothing short of incredible. The question is, can he take a struggling franchise and lift it into playoff contention all on his back? His two quarterback’s must step up and make big time throws, (Passer went 5/13 41 yards and Blades 6/10 57 yards) if this team has a chance to pull any upsets. There does seem to be a fine line between the top 5 teams or so, and the rest of the pack, it might be up to an impact player such as Awooga to close that line.
Random Thoughts
Out of all the winless teams, the Portland Hitmen are easily the best, yes I know that’s comparable to picking the best looking out of a group of ugly girls. But the Hitmen have faced three of the best, and besides a 31-0 shallacking to the Pirates in game 1 the Hitmen have almost pulled off a couple upsets. They had a late rally fall short to Hartford to lose by 3, then lost 20-6 to Oakland after coming up with 0 points on 3 red zone trips., Johnny Danger is a solid QB but they need to use the run game a little more, the Hitmen system draw a lot of comparisons to Texas Tech.. You really can’t be too one dimensional in this tightly contested league… I really like the methodical offense Oakland runs, they don’t seem to go for the long ball too often but will gain yards on short outs and ins, this can be effective once the secondary begins to play up,, that is when Cody Wilson can throw the long ball to possible playmakers in Freddie Weathers and Wes Lyons, they very well could pull the upset on Waco… Trust me, I really do want to buy into what New Brunswick is doing, their owner seems to be a fine guy who puts in his share of work, but they seem to lack a passing game consistency. Don’t get me wrong, Greg Martin is a stud RB and he is complimented by one of the best #2’s in the league with JR Reynolds, but if this team is down by 10 in the 4th I wouldn’t feel too comfortable about making a comeback. They do remain one of the biggest questions of this league… Bel Air is sitting pretty at 3-0, but I don’t know what to take from it, they outscored New Brunswick 17-0 in the 4th quarter in week 2 after being down a TD, so you know they can win in adversity but I’m not sure if they can play with the big boys. Trust me, I got May 10th circled for them as the Waco Davidians come to town, that is the Beardogs’ judgement game.
Should we Feel Like Douchebags?
As I sit hear typing, critiquing players such as Mammoth Beast, VOLTRON BLACKLION and his brother VOLTRON REDLION (I can only assume what Mom and Dad’s name must be) I wonder to myself, should my ego kick in and make me feel like a loser? No, I say to myself, I’ve spent my whole high school career not caring about what people say, so why should I now?
But how do I answer a pretty female’s question honestly when she asks me what I did today? What did I do? Well, I found out that the Spicewood Longhorns have been underachieving thus far? Is that what I should really be saying? It might be a safe bet, (unless she just so happens to be an avid fan of the GLB) that I probably wouldn’t be getting laid that night after comment. I mean, come on, my reputation is at stake!
But you know what, fuck it. It’s up to friends and family to figure out what I do in front of a computer and hour or 2 or 12 at a time (is he still masturbating?!?!) but I don’t think I should really care. I really do hate Halo, but you know what? So what if they spend hours, days, weeks, years playing some dumb shooting game, it’s their life. Ya, Guitar Hero is gay, the coolest part is the actual music (that’s if little Expert Johnny over here doesn’t fuck up all the notes), but who cares if they want to act like a rock star? We are all being the same way, except I am a 3rd CB on a competitive team, so what I like being a role player!, and I don’t need a lot of attention, Halokilla12454.
Women do their own personal stupid stuff, (or do they just speak when spoken to? Oh come on, I’m kidding) so why not let us fellas get our day as we await the kickoff of football season. Hell, we don’t even have the Combine to watch anymore! Soon, the only sport going will be midsummer baseball which is great and innocent and all, but at that point there is still about, oh, 90 games left to play, my Rockies didn’t decide that it mattered until about 22 games left in the season. So then what will us GLBers do? Why, boost up our players into enormous levels so that we will never be tackled, never be intercepted, never get pancaked.
So, say what you want friends and family, I have entered a cyberworld where I might get my elusive championship ring (my basketball team was close in middle school, till we met the inner city kids) might get that big INT. And I can talk cybershit, you know why? Because I can’t get beaten up. This should be fun. My next game is in 19 hrs! Oh yeah, college football kicks off in 120 days by the way.
A #7 Western Conference Digest
By: Some Loser
(Courtesy: SI)
Hugh Laurie and the Waco Davidians Prove They’re the Best- right now.
Also Featuring:
1.) RGB Beserk’s Big (and fast) Secret.
2.) Do you feel like a douchebag for putting so much time in this league?
HEADLINE STORY:
(Courtesy: www.nlm.nih.gov) WR Doc Smooth, 3rd in WC Receiving Yards, scores a 67 yard TD vs. Grand Haven.
The Best?
Thanks to a smothering D, Waco has beaten two of the conference’s best teams already, next up? #2 Oakland.
On a calm Monday afternoon in Denver, temperatures in the 60’s, two of the best in the A#7 league are locked up even on the gridiron. Like a photo finish to the Kentucky Derby, 1:26 was left when the Denver Pirates tied up the Waco Davidians in one of a slew amount of good early season games thus far. The Pirates had just been able to tie up the affair with a FG after starting their drive on the Davidians 36. What more could you expect of the Davidians D? For they had quieted not an explosive offense, yet a disciplined, mechanical one for most of the game, allowing 10 points until Denver had conducted their tying drive.
But for now, it was Hugh Laurie’s time. Hell, his offense didn’t bring much either, only scoring 6 pts (a Marty Motallico 85 yard punt return gave Waco their only TD of the day) and with a very quiet running game (their two leading rushers; Tippit and Puck managed a very pedestrian 74 yards on 19 carries) Waco had to lean on their man, to prove not only is he a winner, but he can gain his team’s trust.
The whole plan on the drive was conservatism. Starting at their own 46, Laurie threw a post pattern ball to Jerry Rice Jr. for 9 yards, that was followed by a 7 yard pass to Miles Snider on a hitch pattern for a first down. Two incomplete passes later, the Davidians faced a 3rd and 10 on the Pirates 38, no conversion here and it was most likely punting time with 1:13 left and no timeouts. Laurie went with his big time WR, Tom Brady’s Randy Moss, Troy Aikman’s Michael Irvin.. Almost all the great QB’s have had THE GO-TO GUY to get the ball too, for Hugh and Waco, it is most definitely Doc. Doc caught the pass in front of a first down marker, dodged a tackler and kept the drive alive with another first down. A couple plays later, Mirko Filipovic won the game on a 33 yard field goal as time expired.
There’s a vulnerability to the Davidians, yet that may make them one of those most dangerous teams in throughout ALL the league. They simply find a way to win. Perhaps they weren’t the best team on the field in both games. Yet they have found a way to win nailbiters (very reminiscent of a 2002 Ohio State team that ended up winning the title). In week 3, they were boosted by a staunch defensive effort with 3 interceptions in the 2nd half off of Hartford’s Johnny Walker, two of which by Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg. “They don’t make it look pretty, but they get the job done each time out,” said one conference exec/scout.
The scary truth is, this week 4 game against the Oakland Wizards might be Waco’s best chance to lose the remaining regular season ball games. Oakland brings a balanced dose of passing and the running game of Jimmy James. But it is their defense that must reign in concern, allowing only 16 points after three games. What they have yet to prove though, is the ability to perform down the stretch of a ball game. That is all Waco might need.
Who Is this Guy?
After getting rolled in their first 2 games, The RGB Berzerk were looking at a long season… now a fresh face has brought new life to a once deadbeat organization.
It’s a calm evening at RGB Berzerk stadium, although there is a football game being played. The crowd is sparse and no one seems to care during pre-game warm-ups. It seems as if the teenage children has used the game as a social outing for the night. With consensus discussion of fashion, plus all the text messaging one could possibly fathom, it hardly seems like one is at a football game, but more of a mall.
Why, it’s only week 3, why do people not care about their hometown Berzerk already? I asked a middle aged man, seated front row on the 40, decked out in RGB gear, an admitted season ticket holder, “I suppose it’s because we know this team can’t go anywhere. In game 1, the home opener, we only tallied 180 yards of total offense, and lost 10-0, no one wants to come out to watch this,” said Lewis White, the fan. So why is he here? “To spend a night away from my wife,” he replies.
Ya, it would be depressing to have had the start RGB had.. Losing 10-0 to a mediocre Miami team plus getting rocked by Las Vegas 54-7 the next week wont bring any eternal optimism to the team… Players take the field at the RGB Stadium, the Ambridge Brigade come in at 0-2 as well and is thought to be jostling with the hometown Berzerk for a right to be called the conference’s worst team. Ambridge gets first possession and drives it deep into RGB’s territory, where they bring out the FG unit for a 30 yard attempt. Sebastian Longoria pushes the FG wide right, a small, collective cheer rings throughout the stadium.. Berzerk’s turn to take the field. There does seem to be a new RB that they have in there, he doesn’t seem to be incredibly big or strong, around 6 foot, 210.
He gets a carry on the first play, takes the ball right with a burst of speed right away to the tackle, he seems like he might of busted a big play, but the DE Leonel Ennis barely catches his ankle for a 5 yard gain. The PA announcer then comes on “Five yard gain on the play by Johnny AH-WOO-GAH?”, it almost seemed as if he weren’t sure his name, like someone in the booth played with him and put a false name in the program. He gets the call again on 2nd and 5, makes a great cut in the backfield, has the patience to wait for his fullback, Jackson Granderson, to block a linebacker, then all of a sudden accelerates a huge spurt of speed and for an extra 10 yards, then needs to be brought down by 3 guys. All of a sudden a little buzz rings through the stadium, and the PA says with conviction “A gain of 13 on the play for Johnny AH-WOO-GAHHHH!!!!.. FIRST DOWN!”. The Bezerk end up stalling at midfield on the drive, yet you can already see the Ambridge D having to start to put 7-8 men in the box to stop this “EH-OO-GUH Or whatever the hell his name is, says another fan sitting behind me.”
The next drive RGB scores a TD, without too much help from Johnny A. except for his decoy tactics. From then on, a new man gave this sparse crowd, this team, this organization some much needed new breath air of life. His first TD at the beginning of the 2nd quarter wasn’t bad: rush to the right end with his speed, then right near the goalline he puts his head down to knock 3 tacklers back for his first TD of the year and as a Berzerk. He doesn’t get a rush for the rest of the 1st half. The 2nd half, though, is clearly his time, with his team up 14-0, Awooga basically made himself a recruiting video in just a couple of drives. Whether it be on the 3rd and 1 on Ambridge’s 45 where he simply runs past a shocked Ennis, sheds Jodi Lynn with his continued speed, then has the power to simply THROW Julian Roper off of him for a 13 yard gain. Or maybe you like his 3rd TD of the day with his team up 21-0 midway through the 4th, Johnny take’s a pitch off to the left, looks completely trapped, then runs between the smallest of gaps between two CB’s then makes Miles Lankford his bitch by RUNNING HIM OVER. Not good enough? Fine, how about the one on the last play of the game (sure, it might have been running up the score, but YouTube wont care) our main man takes a pitch to the right this time, jukes a poor CB out of his shoes, stiff arms not one, but two LB’s, slides past a safety’s grip, then once again puts his head down to take out a DE. Don’t believe me?
http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=1557670
OK, so it’s one game against arguably the league’s worst team, but 21 carries off 179 yards with 26 (26!) broken tackles is nothing short of incredible. The question is, can he take a struggling franchise and lift it into playoff contention all on his back? His two quarterback’s must step up and make big time throws, (Passer went 5/13 41 yards and Blades 6/10 57 yards) if this team has a chance to pull any upsets. There does seem to be a fine line between the top 5 teams or so, and the rest of the pack, it might be up to an impact player such as Awooga to close that line.
Random Thoughts
Out of all the winless teams, the Portland Hitmen are easily the best, yes I know that’s comparable to picking the best looking out of a group of ugly girls. But the Hitmen have faced three of the best, and besides a 31-0 shallacking to the Pirates in game 1 the Hitmen have almost pulled off a couple upsets. They had a late rally fall short to Hartford to lose by 3, then lost 20-6 to Oakland after coming up with 0 points on 3 red zone trips., Johnny Danger is a solid QB but they need to use the run game a little more, the Hitmen system draw a lot of comparisons to Texas Tech.. You really can’t be too one dimensional in this tightly contested league… I really like the methodical offense Oakland runs, they don’t seem to go for the long ball too often but will gain yards on short outs and ins, this can be effective once the secondary begins to play up,, that is when Cody Wilson can throw the long ball to possible playmakers in Freddie Weathers and Wes Lyons, they very well could pull the upset on Waco… Trust me, I really do want to buy into what New Brunswick is doing, their owner seems to be a fine guy who puts in his share of work, but they seem to lack a passing game consistency. Don’t get me wrong, Greg Martin is a stud RB and he is complimented by one of the best #2’s in the league with JR Reynolds, but if this team is down by 10 in the 4th I wouldn’t feel too comfortable about making a comeback. They do remain one of the biggest questions of this league… Bel Air is sitting pretty at 3-0, but I don’t know what to take from it, they outscored New Brunswick 17-0 in the 4th quarter in week 2 after being down a TD, so you know they can win in adversity but I’m not sure if they can play with the big boys. Trust me, I got May 10th circled for them as the Waco Davidians come to town, that is the Beardogs’ judgement game.
Should we Feel Like Douchebags?
As I sit hear typing, critiquing players such as Mammoth Beast, VOLTRON BLACKLION and his brother VOLTRON REDLION (I can only assume what Mom and Dad’s name must be) I wonder to myself, should my ego kick in and make me feel like a loser? No, I say to myself, I’ve spent my whole high school career not caring about what people say, so why should I now?
But how do I answer a pretty female’s question honestly when she asks me what I did today? What did I do? Well, I found out that the Spicewood Longhorns have been underachieving thus far? Is that what I should really be saying? It might be a safe bet, (unless she just so happens to be an avid fan of the GLB) that I probably wouldn’t be getting laid that night after comment. I mean, come on, my reputation is at stake!
But you know what, fuck it. It’s up to friends and family to figure out what I do in front of a computer and hour or 2 or 12 at a time (is he still masturbating?!?!) but I don’t think I should really care. I really do hate Halo, but you know what? So what if they spend hours, days, weeks, years playing some dumb shooting game, it’s their life. Ya, Guitar Hero is gay, the coolest part is the actual music (that’s if little Expert Johnny over here doesn’t fuck up all the notes), but who cares if they want to act like a rock star? We are all being the same way, except I am a 3rd CB on a competitive team, so what I like being a role player!, and I don’t need a lot of attention, Halokilla12454.
Women do their own personal stupid stuff, (or do they just speak when spoken to? Oh come on, I’m kidding) so why not let us fellas get our day as we await the kickoff of football season. Hell, we don’t even have the Combine to watch anymore! Soon, the only sport going will be midsummer baseball which is great and innocent and all, but at that point there is still about, oh, 90 games left to play, my Rockies didn’t decide that it mattered until about 22 games left in the season. So then what will us GLBers do? Why, boost up our players into enormous levels so that we will never be tackled, never be intercepted, never get pancaked.
So, say what you want friends and family, I have entered a cyberworld where I might get my elusive championship ring (my basketball team was close in middle school, till we met the inner city kids) might get that big INT. And I can talk cybershit, you know why? Because I can’t get beaten up. This should be fun. My next game is in 19 hrs! Oh yeah, college football kicks off in 120 days by the way.
Last edited May 1, 2008 19:35:20
