Warrior General Games

Anytime should get Bill Bixby from the Oakland Gazette to interview him. He does good work, as I hear.

Originally posted by the47x
Anytime should get Bill Bixby from the Oakland Gazette to interview him. He does good work, as I hear.

As Anytime's agent, and given his current disgust for Don Biggs and WSTD, I need to ask you, who is Bill Bixby?

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE NEWS DESK OF WSTD:

THIS JUST IN! REPORTS ARE SURFACING THAT THE SELF-PROCLAIMED 'FAMOUS' FOOTBALL PLAYER, ANYTIME HURRICANE OF THE VILNIUS MAULERS, IS SUSPECTED OF LEAVING THE SCENE OF AN ACCIDENT. NO WAIT, HOLD ON. CORRECTION. AN EYE WITNESS HAS REPORTED THAT A VERY LARGE, HULK-LIKE MAN, WAS SEEN DISMANTLING HURRICANE'S H-1 HUMMER. WE HAVE THE EYE WITNESSS ON THE PHONE:

Biggs: So, Mr RW McNickles, tell us what you've seen.

McNickles: I was just minding my own business, gettin my game on in the club when I heard this loud ass noise. I run outside thinking that there was some sort of earthquake or something. Turns out that there was this big man and I mean big..just ripping the door off of Hurricane's hummer like it was a piece of paper. Dude totally demolished that fine piece of automobility. Dubs flew all over the place. One even is impaled in the side of the club.

Biggs: Can you describe the man for us?

McNickles: Yeah. He has a striped suit and one of those Zorro style hats. Cat didn't want to be caught though 'cause he wore one of those Zorro masks as well. That dude was mad!! Kept hearing him say, "No one calls me Ham! No one!!!!"

Biggs: How do you know that it was Hurricane's hummer?

McNickles: Cause we tight, Anytime and I. Greatest offensive and defensive players in the game! Gotta tell you though, when that beast ripped apart that vehicle, I was surprised to see two books fly out of the Hummer. I didn't know Anytime could read. The two books were entitled, "Talk Smack, Hide Your Insecurities, and Cry When Alone." and "Idiot's Guide to the Return Game: An Autobiography Written by Anytime Hurricane."

Biggs: Wait a minute! Hurricane wrote a book?

McNickles: Surprised me! It even had color by numbers and pictures of pink unicorns. That is whack! I got to go. Hurricane needs me right now. Err..wait a minute. This will be edited right?

Biggs: To wrap this up, Anytime Hurricane is reportedly missing at this point in time. As his agent was seen loading what looked to be 20 cases of water and 90 packages of Top Romen in the trunk of his car, he states that he is NOT in hiding and that he is in preparation of his next game. We thought that this disappearance had something to do with the accident, but now conclude it has something to do with the rather enraged man. This has been breaking news from Don Biggs, WSTD.

LOL good one Durak lol. RW was a stroke of pure genius! Unfortunately, Anytime left the club early and left his Hummer at the Dirty Bird, which looks like a mistake now. There is a new section being built on the stadium in Anytime's honor, and he went early to look over the design. I phoned him of the news as I was assessing the damage....he was not happy. It was the first time i've ever heard him not refer to himself by name. To quote him.

"NOBODY TOUCHES MY FUCKING HUMMER!"

It looks like he took it out on the Aachen Spartans.

http://goallineblitz.com/game/replay.pl?pbp_id=4997568

and look at his return avg for the game

His touchdown celebration? He ran to the sidelines, took his helmet and jersey off, donned a Zorro hat, mask and a stripped shirt that read on the front "MY NAME IS HAM" he walked to the the camera with this on and said two words, "Bring it"

I felt kinda sorry for the Spartans, seems Anytime was pretty pissed, he left the stadium quickly and went straight to the VIP room, making only one stop on the way. He assaulted one customer of the club, and had the bouncers removed him, while Anytime said, "Didn't the Hurricane tell you to stop coming here? Get out and stay out! Anytime was never your friend, will never be your friend! Go talk to those SE Asia bitches Nate and Ham, they like people like you! And give Nate his smack talk book back, the whiney little bitch needs it!" The person was identified as RW McNickles.

Latest news is Anytime is not missing, and waiting for any challengers at his club or Mauler Stadium. Nate has been scarce though, and may or may not like Ramen noodles.

RW was last seen on the corner playing a Ukulele asking for nickles, as it seems no one has signed him yet.

All this talk about ham is making me hungry.

Originally posted by PapaBear.OR
All this talk about ham is making me hungry.

Line-up at guard and you will get all the ham you can handle and more! Actually, Ham will probably get tired of pancaking you, so you might have to settle for some other DT.

My client has just finished the design on his newest shirt which will be available before the Maulers/Hustlers championship game. It is a shot of Anytime with the Zorro hat, mask and his striped shirt from his TD celebration. On the back it reads, "I AM HAM!"

I really wish he would quiet down and focus on the game at hand, but he has been in a rage since the Hummer incident. Sources close to him say he is working on getting tickets to the East St. Louis/Bandar game, but if that is the case I will do my best to keep him in Vilnius. He is too stupid and impulsive(and already had avoided one murder charge this season) and needs to stay away from a man nearly 3 times his size. I promise the fans of Vilnius I will do my best to keep him in the country.

Don Biggs: Sorry to interrupt folks...breaking news: Apparently, the Dirty Bird has been bought by an unidentified group, from SE Asia. They have just purchased the Dirty Bird and renamed it, "The Poop Deck." Apparently, they have made it into a male revue and interior decorating club. The new spokeman for The Poop Deck has made this statement:

Ramon Frunkis: While none of our business associates, nor ourselves are interested in this sort of thing, it is with great pleasure that we have been able to add a much desired after-hours club that is sure to please most, if not all, of the Maulers, who, as was indicated by Mr. Anytime Hurricane, will be our primary customers. As a special token of gratitude and expected continued support from our #1 customer, Mr. Hurricane himself, we have renamed our all-male brothel, "Anytime." Additionally, as per Mr. Hurricane's request, he has 24-hour access to the rear entrance of the Poop Deck. Lastly, as a final gesture of our gratitude, specifically to PapaBear.OR, we will provide a full range of menu items, all of which will contain ham.

Don Biggs: That is definitely big news...or shocking to say the least. So, Maulers, bon appetite and enjoy the club! This is Don Biggs from WSTD, signing off!

I appreciate the try, but as Anytime is the majority owner of the Dirty Bird(since very early this season and has a clause in the contract that all sales go to Anytime first), I think you bought the wrong club Maybe it was the Switch Hitter down the street you bought? It's hard to tell the different clubs in Vilnius apart sometimes. But the Dirty Bird is the one that has ladies, not ladies with adams apples, Anytime found that out the hard way. Don probably is just wrong as normal, he does make mistakes so i'll let it be known he's just putting out false information again

Anytime will not be pleased to hear about this news that he has new competition in the night scene. God, it's gonna be a pain in the ass telling him. Thanks alot!

Originally posted by HurricaneBear
I appreciate the try, but as Anytime is the majority owner of the Dirty Bird(since very early this season and has a clause in the contract that all sales go to Anytime first), I think you bought the wrong club Maybe it was the Switch Hitter down the street you bought? It's hard to tell the different clubs in Vilnius apart sometimes. But the Dirty Bird is the one that has ladies. Don probably is just wrong as normal, he does make mistakes so i'll let it be known he's just putting out false information again

Ramon Frunkis: No, we are pretty sure it was the Dirty Bird. The one with the men that look like ladies (especially "Candy", "Tasha" and "Rachel"), with the VIP room and pictures of Anytime Hurricane all over it? As part of our due diligence, we will go back to the real estate broker, Mr. Nate Interceptor, and validate that your claims are correct. If your claims hold true, we will issue a correction via press release and will mandate that both Mr. Interceptor and, in this case, Mr. Biggs provide proper restitution for our time and efforts.

"That bitch Nate is trying to get into the Hurricane's business again? That little weasel! Both him, and Ham are dead! This is ridiculous. The Hurricane's lawyer will be notified and legal actions will be taken again Nate for his false impersonation. Maybe that little bitch owns the Switch Hitter, as that has men in it dressed as ladies as the Hurricane found out to his disgust. This is just like that fag. The Hurricane also does not like the news that Nate is hanging picture of Anytime in the Switch Hitter and pretending it is the Dirty Bird. The deed to the Dirty Bird is in Anytime's hands right now. The Hurricane suggests you take legal action against Nate the fag, and Don Biggs as well. Anytime is going to file a lawsuit right now! This is ridiculous!"

Anytime was seen leaving the Dirty Bird and headed straight towards the Vilnius police station. More on this to come.

Ramon Frunkis: After further investigation, we have discovered that Mr. Nate Interceptor has indeed mislead us in the purchasing of "Switch Hitter." Our legal counsel has informed us that the purchase, while underhanded, is legally binding. As such, we shall be renovating the Switch Hitter to a more traditional club and naming it, "Rhymes with Naint" as a reminder that Naint the Interceptor played a hand in our investment. Luckily for us, the club, formerly known as "Switch Hitter" is located in a very upscale part of town, unlike the, and I quote, "Skanky area that only crack whores frequent." All are welcome to the club, even the owner of the Dirty Bird, Anytime Hurricane. Actually, we have reserved a special room for him, should he want to visit our establishment, fitting of his status. We have proudly named it, "the janitor's closet." We have posted flyers around town stating these changes and that customers who use to frequent the Switch Hitter, would most certainly enjoy the atmosphere and clientèle of the Dirty Bird. Also, this will be my last statement as the representative of my financial partners. From now on and I'd like to introduce, the new representative and manager of "Rhymes with Naint," Mr. Al Catraz.

Catraz: Thank you, Ramon. I look forward to a successful business venture in this area and fully expect to be the premier club of its type in this area. To our customers, know this, "Money talks and our girls are the BEST listeners." Our target group is those with more refined taste in which only the best in food, drink, and female companionship is acceptable. Conversely, The Dirty Bird is better suited for those whose primary mode of transportation involves the use of an outstretched arm, thumb up, and a sign. Remember our slogan, "Nothing Rhymes better to Naint than our business."

Welcome to the town. You make my job difficult now by having to inform Anytime that you truly did purchase the club. I'm assuming something will be broken. Anytime's Dirty Bird attracts much of the town. His girls don't listen, they work, and are fairly open to VIP shows. Whatever happens in the VIP stays in the VIP. It's the Dirty Bird's biggest draw.

Now let me go put on a bullet proof vest and helmet and go inform the loudmouth of this.

I'm not from around here, can anyone tell me where a guy can go to get a drink around here?

Dirty Bird is the place to be. Cheap drinks, willing women, and tons of Maulers players. And of course, the great Anytime Hurricane. Rumor has it that Al Catraz run place used to have women with adams apples. Wouldn't suggest going there, unless your into that sort of thing that is.